


The Madness And The Damage Done

by JustHereForCoffee



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drugs, M/M, Organized Crime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:16:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 132,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6473656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustHereForCoffee/pseuds/JustHereForCoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Sasuke gone, Naruto has set up a life for himself and tried to move on from the scars his friend left him - both physical and emotional. But a chance meeting sends Naruto head first back into the struggle to save his friend, and into an underworld he had no idea existed in his city.</p><p>AU Naruto x Sasuke fic I'm working on - be warned, this will be a slow-burner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

 

It was raining again.

 

The young man gave a distracted smile as he looked out the bus window: he’d always found that rain had a certain calming effect. It drummed off the window, a constant and ever-changing beat, mingling with the engine and the muffled sound of his city. As they crawled through the congested street, lanes fat with taxis, buses and trams, he studied the busy pavement. The red brake lights of the other vehicles seemed to smudge along the condensation-soaked glass, reflecting and refracting, but he could still see everything quite clearly. Despite the weather people still lined the streets. After all, there was work to be done.

 

It always amazed him just how many people from all sorts of backgrounds brushed shoulders in the city centre: a middle aged man with a shaved head and goatee used his guitar case as cover from the downpour, a hard expression on his face; one exceptionally short woman was carrying a bright blue umbrella nearly as wide as she was tall; a man in an orange t-shirt and shorts was holding 3 cartons of milk in one hand and a four-pack of beer in the other.

 

_Only the essentials,_ the young man thought to himself, supressing a chuckle.

 

There were always interesting people in this city if you looked for them. A particularly great example thanked the driver as he hopped off the bus: sporting a large, well-trimmed beard, his bushy hair tied back in a bun, was a middle-eastern gentleman wearing a shirt, tie and waistcoat. He passed the window, walking into the rain as if he owned the whole street.

 

As the bus pulled up at a set of traffic lights, he could make out a teen with a pinched, drawn face anxiously waiting for them to change. As soon as it hit green he all but sprinted across the road, hood up, hands in pockets.

 

_What could he be running from? Or towards?_

_It was raining the night he ran, too._

The thought made its way into his head unbidden, as thoughts of him always did. The smile slid from his face for a second as his brain seemed to freeze, the cogs and sprockets that kept him thinking jamming and sputtering. Jiraiya always did say that they could ‘hear the cogs turning’ whenever he tried to untangle a particularly hard puzzle; his teacher’s words were enough to make his smile slowly return.

 

The young man snapped out of his reverie as he saw the bridge rushing past and realised he was about to miss his stop – he jumped up, haphazardly zipping up his orange hoodie as he stumbled to the front of the bus. He thanked the driver and disembarked, almost falling over as the wind assaulted him. Finding his feet again, he flipped his hood up, crossing the road and slowly walking up to the edge of the bridge. It was pretty exposed, which made crossing it a bit tricky when the wind was powerful. What made up for it was the view.

 

From here you could see across the glass roof of the train station, all the way across to the park and art gallery. The main street lay to the right, his view of it blocked by a giant monument, easily 4 or 5 stories tall. He remembered Kiba saying it looked like a “gothic spaceship” – a pretty apt description, he thought. To the left the city climbed a sharp hill: in the forefront the old buildings stood tall and proud against the sky, and further back a castle stood on the rocky hill. He grinned into the wind: it was a beautiful city.

 

“Naruto!”

 

He turned to see a girl waving at him from up the bridge, almost bouncing up and down in her excitement. Naruto practically ran towards her, scooping her up in a massive hug.

 

“Stupid Naruto, let me go!” she squealed, laughing and hitting him in the chest. He obliged, depositing her on the ground gently.

 

“Heya Sakura,” he said, wincing slightly. “I forgot just how hard you punch.”

 

“You know I don’t pull my punches for you Naruto!” She replied, a warm smile on her delicate features. “C’mon, I’m starving: can’t have you gawking at the scenery too long.”

 

She did, however, give it a glance before completely turning. “You do have a good view from here though. Can’t say it isn’t pretty.”

 

“Well I’m sure you’ll be sick of it again by the time you leave,” Naruto replied nonchalantly, falling into pace with her. His hands laced up behind his head as he walked, a habit of his. “I’ve got to give you the full tour sometime, there’s such a difference between living on the edge of the city and actually living in it. Speaking of which, do you know where you’re going?”

 

A look of mock offense crossed Sakura’s face. “Of course!” she sniffed indignantly. “We woman always know where we’re going. It’s just a natural instinct.”

 

She chortled when Naruto raised an eyebrow. “Okay, fine, I googled it. Happy?”

 

Naruto’s grin grew even broader. “I’ve missed you Sakura. I know the best med school is up North, but it’s not fair we haven’t seen each other in 3 years.”

 

Sakura’s gaze softened slightly. “I missed you too Naruto: I would have come to visit but the workload was just crazy. My teacher… she’s one of the best in her field, but she’s so strict.” She paused to check the road before crossing. “She’s quite a bit like Jiraiya actually.”

 

Naruto snorted. “That old goofball isn’t strict!”

 

“But he pushes you hard, cause he knows you can take it. I remember how wiped out you used to be after every session.”

 

“…Touché.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

They reached their destination quickly, a pub not far from the bridge. It was fashioned out of a basement, the steps leading down from street level. Naruto held the door open for Sakura, gesturing inside with a great flourish of his hand.

 

Sakura rolled her eyes as she entered, but she was still smiling.  “You haven’t changed a bit, have you Naruto?”

 

“If it ain’t broke…”

 

Sakura’s smile turned into a smirk. “That’s a matter of opinion.”  Naruto just laughed and stuck his tongue out.

 

They grabbed the first table that they saw, shedding their wet clothes onto the back of their chairs. Sakura pulled off her hat to reveal a shock of bright pink hair, worn short and held back with a hairband.

 

Naruto was slightly surprised. “Still dyeing your hair? I’m surprised they let you do that, with all the work you do at the hospital.” He grabbed menus from the side of table, passing one over to Sakura.

 

“Thanks. Luckily Tsunade is a more… progressive type of doctor. If by ‘progressive,’ you mean ‘doesn’t give a shit about anything but competence.’ And since she carries so much clout at the hospital…” Sakura shrugged, thumbing through the menu. “Either way, no one’s complained. Hmm, burgers look good…”

 

Naruto paused for a second, glancing up from his own menu. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your real hair colour.”

  
“You aren’t missing much; ready to order?”

 

As they made their way back from the bar, Sakura fished her phone out of her bag. She sighed as she plonked herself down in the seat.

 

 “Great, no signal.”

 

“Well we’re pretty much underground, what did you expect? Are you still as addicted to that thing as you were in High School? Iruka must’ve taken it off you hundreds of times.”

 

“What can I say? Social media beckons me.” She took a quick sip of her cider. “I still find it weird that you were on first-name terms with Mr Umino.”

 

“Well you remember how bad I was before he straightened me out.” Naruto said, placing the menus back at the side of the table. “I was his first problem student too, so I guess that helped.”

 

Sakura sighed. “I can’t believe how much things have changed since then. You’re certainly not the mouthy little brat you used to be. And Sasuke…” She trailed off when the smile slid off Naruto’s face. “Sorry, I know you don’t like talking about him.”

 

Naruto leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling, hands once again behind his head. “Nah, it’s okay: this is the first time I’ve seen you in ages, it was bound to come up.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a second before opening them again, more composed. “Being partnered with you two for labs is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s when life really started looking up. Because of Sasuke I started martial arts; because of you I started trying harder at school.” He looked at Sakura again, and smiled. “I didn’t really have much before I had you guys.”

 

“Naruto…”

 

“Hey, it’s true: being bounced around foster homes your whole life sucks. But when we actually became friends… I really had things to hope for. You’re one of the reasons I’ve got as far as I have. Sasuke’s another. No reason not to talk about him.”

 

He shifted awkwardly in his seat, suddenly aware of the look on Sakura’s face: pity. It wasn’t something he particularly liked.

 

Naruto opened his mouth to say something – exactly what, he wasn’t sure – but was interrupted by the food arriving. As the plates hit the table, the moment was broken. Thanking the waitress, Naruto grinned and grabbed his cutlery. Sakura, too, seemed to snap out of a daze as she tentatively smiled and picked up her burger. Naruto was relieved: for now, all was well.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

“…and then me, being the idiot I am, look down this goddamn test tube full of copper per-something-or-other, and say ‘Oh, it didn’t explode-’”

 

“Only to have it blow up in your face!” Sakura finished, laughing so hard she almost knocked her drink over.

 

Naruto’s grin grew wider. “See, I knew you were there for that.” He took a sip of Jack Daniels and Coke, placing it back next to several empty glasses; the meal had run its course, and so had quite a few drinks. Naruto was comfortably buzzed, and it looked like Sakura was a little bit tipsy too.

 

He continued. “So the cotton ball goes flying, I only just get out the way, and hot copper per-thingy goes all over Kiba’s jacket. I almost have my face blown off, we wrecked the test tube, Iruka’s furious, and Kiba has the cheek to yell ‘Oh shit dude, you ruined my favourite jacket!’ And of course, Sasuke just sat there through the whole thing like he was above it all.”

 

Sakura giggled. “I forgot he used to do that. Tell you what got a reaction from him though – your little affair on the first day of third year.”

 

“Shit, man, don’t even remind me.” Naruto groaned and smacked his head down on the table making Sakura erupt into laughter once again. He threw his hands up in the air. “I don’t know who was more horrified, him or me. First day as your lab partner, wanting to make a good impression, and what do I do? Accidently snog Sasuke Goddamn Uchiha. That was my first kiss too.”

  
Sakura’s laugh faded and she looked at him in disbelief. Naruto realised his mistake too late, a crimson blush rapidly creeping up his neck. The silence lasted maybe 3 seconds before Sakura exploded, smacking the table in her mirth.

 

“Your… your first kiss! Priceless! Oh God, I can’t breathe.”

 

“Oi, shut it.” Naruto’s expression lightened a bit. “You’re just jealous.”

 

It was Sakura’s turn to blush.

 

A smirk crept across Naruto’s face. “Yep, jeaaaaalous.” He drew the word out to childish proportions, enjoying the power he held over her. Sakura threw him a withering look, and he figured he better back off. After all, Naruto reasoned, he’d been just as stupid at that age with his crush on Sakura.

  
“You know I’m only teasing. But man, we were so angsty back then. We were worried about such stupid things: I remember when my main concern was impressing you and everyone else.” Naruto paused to consider. “I think Sasuke was the only one with real shit to deal with.”

 

Sakura’s expression soured, and she looked down. “It’s not an excuse for the way he acted. I still find it hard to believe he actually did what he did… I really thought he cared about us.”

 

Naruto frowned, leaning across the table and laying his hand across Sakura’s. “Do you remember the first week we were assigned as lab partners? I was mouthing off, trying to impress you, and you wanted to strangle me. And he just sat there, absorbing it all, keeping distant. I kept trying to goad him, and he’d just have some smart-ass comeback that’d just make me mad. He never lost his cool.

 

“Then on the Friday I insisted on having lunch with the two of you. You couldn’t get rid of me no matter what you tried. I was so hyper that I tripped and fell down the school steps, onto the road, smack bang into the path of a car.” Naruto leaned back a little bit, but didn’t let go of Sakura’s hand. “You remember what happened, right? Sasuke jumped in, quick as lightening, and threw me off the road. He was lucky he walked away from that with just a broken leg.”

  
Sakura finally looked up at Naruto. He smiled. “He did care, Sakura.”

 

“What he did to you-”

 

“-Doesn’t matter.” Naruto interjected. “He went through a lot, and we still have no idea exactly what happened: we all saw what they said about Itachi, but is it true? I don’t know, but as I said it doesn’t matter. I forgave him a long time ago. I just wish I’d understood him as much as I thought I did.”

 

Sakura looked away, her jaw set. Naruto smiled softly: even after all this time, he didn’t expect her to forgive as easily as he did. He dipped his fingers in his drink as she turned back to him, about to say something, and flicked them gently at her. For a second she just sat there, sprayed by JD and coke, mouth hanging open. Then, much to Naruto’s relief, she threw her head back in hysterical laughter.

 

“I was just about to tell you how wise you sounded,” she said, still giggling. “But I guess you’re still you.”

 

Naruto grinned widely. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

 

So the conversation moved on; and although the tension drained away amongst drink and good company, the thought of Sasuke lingered at the back of Naruto’s mind.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“I’m telling you!” Sakura exclaimed as they once more crossed the bridge, albeit a little less sure-footed than last time. “The waitress was totally flirting with you!”

 

“Nah, pretty sure I would have noticed that.” Naruto replied, hands behind his head once more. He looked out over the city: thankfully it was less windy now, and the rain had stopped. All in all it turned out to be quite a pleasant night, straggly clouds tracing across a deep navy sky.

  
“As if! Everyone knows you’re about as subtle as a sack of bricks.”

 

“It’s not as if I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

 

“Yeah, and poor Hinata had to practically spell it out in glowing lights for you!”

  
“…I can’t even argue with that.” Naruto sighed, but smiled despite himself. “I still don’t know why you didn’t just stay at my place.”

  
“As much as I’d love to check in at Casa del Naruto, I’d rather not sleep on your couch. Especially after our graduation party.”

 

“Hey, take that one up with Chouji. We got most of the stains off it.”

  
Sakura snorted, staggering slightly over a loose paving stone. Naruto frowned. He was in slightly better condition, but he was also quite a bit bigger than her. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked, wondering if he should have cut her off two drinks ago.

 

“Pffft, I’m fine,” she replied, waving a hand. “This is the first holiday I’ve had in a while, I’m allowed to let loose a bit.”

 

“Tell me if you feel the same tomorrow morning.” Naruto smirked as they reached Sakura’s hotel. It was one of the nicer ones in the city, all marble stairs and statues. He held the door open for her, earning an eyeful from the receptionist as they sauntered into the lobby. Naruto resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her.

 

“Well I best be off,” Naruto said, pausing for a second as he considered. “Can you make it up to your room okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sakura mumbled as she pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry it took me so long to visit. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

 

Naruto wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of closeness with one of his best friends.

 

Sakura pulled away but still hung onto his arms, her face suddenly very intense. “And take care of yourself! I worry about you. I know you still miss Sasuke, and I-” She hiccoughed, breaking off her sentence. All the intensity had slid from her face, and suddenly she seemed rather confused.

 

“…and I am rather drunk.” She grinned up at Naruto. “I think I need to sleep.”  
Naruto sighed, patting her on the head. “Okay: let me know how you feel tomorrow.”

 

Sakura winked at him and pivoted on her heel to totter towards the elevator, overdoing it slightly and almost falling over. She gave Naruto the finger when he laughed.

 

“Swivel on it Uzumaki!” she yelled, holding her hand above her head as she walked away. Naruto also turned to leave, a big grin plastered across his face: she usually worked so hard, it was good to see her enjoying herself.

 

As he walked to the doors, he noticed the receptionist once more. If she was disapproving before, her expression was now one of utter disgust; nose wrinkled, eyebrows furrowed, she seemed to exude contempt like a bad smell.

 

Naruto decided, much to her chagrin, that this time he wouldn’t refrain from sticking his tongue out as he left.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

The route back home for Naruto was, in a word, scenic; he had to pass several pubs, bars, and clubs, the latter always being his least favourite. He skirted a pool of vomit outside one such place, almost crossing the road to avoid the huge crowd of people surrounding it. Deep within, he could make out a man arguing vehemently with the poor bouncer, jostling everyone around him. Shaking his head, Naruto pressed on down the hill. Rounding a corner, he was about to pass through a tunnel. The large half cylinder of brick created fantastic echoes; tonight they were slightly different to the usual joyous shouts of a Friday night.

 

In his tipsy state, it took Naruto a second or two to see what was wrong: on the opposite side of the tunnel three men were laying into another, curses, shouts and punches flying thick and fast. He was being held by the throat, absorbing blows from all sides. His attackers’ yells were twisting and distorting in the echoes of the tunnel, creating a terrible howl of violence and derision. For a moment Naruto just stood there, his tipsy brain trying to process the information.

 

And then he snapped.

 

He pushed off the pavement hard, sprinting across the road with his head low. Although the alcohol dulled him slightly, he found himself quickly adjusting; adrenaline made his focus narrow, the world reducing to simple constants. First he needed to separate the man from his attackers.

 

Leaping up onto the curb, Naruto dropped his elbow swiftly down on the centre attacker’s wrist, disconnecting it from the victim’s neck. In one fluid motion, he placed his left hand gently on the man’s chest to slow his fall and snapped his right leg back into the first aggressor. Naruto briefly registered the look of shock on his face before he was cannoned backwards, landing hard on his back. Just as surprised, the other two froze, one backing up slightly. Using the temporary lull in fighting, Naruto let the victim slowly fall to the ground. Dark hair covered most of his face, angled down on a limp neck. Naruto gritted his teeth: he could only make sure the man was okay after he’d got rid of these clowns.

 

Turning, Naruto now had more time to assess the situation and size up his opponents: from their tight t-shirts to their giant biceps, these kids were gym rats through and through. The man in the centre was staggering back to his feet, his meticulously-styled blond hair now dishevelled; to Naruto’s left, the one that had stepped away nervously glanced back at Blondie, the dim light catching his eyebrow piercing; the last one, sporting the world’s most pathetic goatee, just stared at Naruto looking rather concussed.

 

Blondie spread his arms in what he must have thought was a grand gesture. “Well, it looks like he has a boyfriend! Gonna defend your princess, huh?”

 

“Just try it dickhead, see where it lands you.”

 

Blondie swaggered forwards, pushing Piercing as he went. Naruto braced, getting ready to read his actions but not surprised when he needn’t have bothered: Blondie made a big show of winding up his right for a punch to the face. Naruto casually leaned to avoid it, grabbing the huge fist as it sailed past his head. He followed through with a left to the body, straight to Blondie’s stomach. As he doubled over, wheezing, Piercing tried to circle round his left and charge him. Still holding Blondie’s fist, he pivoted and pushed off the pavement with his left foot. Cycling his right leg as a feint, he snapped his left up, catching Piercing under the jaw. He was instantly floored, his body airborne for only a second before slamming into the cobblestones with a wet slap.

 

Landing softly, Naruto turned his attention back to Blondie, now to his right; he jerked the bigger man forward by the wrist he still held, bringing his left arm up to clothes-line him. Blondie went down. Hard.

 

Grinning smugly, Naruto started to rise, only to feel something collide with his temple. The force of it took him sideways, smashing off the wall of the tunnel and onto the ground. Groaning, Naruto rolled over, his vision blurring at the edges. Towering over him was Goatee, having apparently come out of his coma in time to help his friends.

  
_Dammit, I forgot about him…_

Goatee lumbered towards him, stumbling slightly as he left the pavement. Naruto’s head spun, his limbs not wanting to obey him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think properly.

 

A dark shadow whipped across his vision; focusing on his impending beating, Naruto thought nothing of it until Goatee dropped to one knee, yelling in pain. Someone was behind him, twisting his arm up behind his back. The arm was yanked higher and, accompanied by an awful snap, his yells turned to screams. The man behind him leaned in close, head bowed.

 

“Leave. Now.”

He spoke in a low, threatening voice; despite only saying two words, Naruto had never heard anyone speak with such venom. Yet the voice seemed strangely familiar…

 

The man kicked Goatee in the back, making him sprawl, sobbing, on the road. Blondie and Piercing, who had been looking on in horror, quickly scrabbled to their feet and grabbed their friend. As they dragged him away, Naruto saw the other man reach into his pocket. His vision started to clear as the man stuck a cigarette in his mouth and brought a lighter up to it. As the spark took and ignited, Naruto finally saw his face, illuminated in the dancing flame.

 

_It can’t be…_

He exhaled, a cloud of smoke drifting into the air. “You’re just as reckless as ever, Naruto… can’t say I ever expected you to change though.”

He spoke slowly, each word measured and weighed with precision. His face, although dripping blood, was exactly how Naruto remembered it: pale, almost expressionless, with clear traces of his Asian lineage. His eyes were piercing black, intense, currently looking sky-wards as he took another drag of his cigarette.

 

The man turned those searching eyes to him, smirking slightly. “What’s wrong Naruto? Cat got your tongue?”

 

Naruto blinked, suddenly remembering where he was. He shakily made it to his feet, leaning slightly on the wall for support. His brain throbbed against his skull: he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what was happening.

 

After all, Sasuke Uchiha had been missing for 3 years.               

 

“S-Sasuke?” Naruto finally managed to stutter.

 

The man in question rolled his eyes, and brought the cigarette back up to his lips. He looked like Hell: a large cut above his left eye was streaming with blood, gently dripping onto his white shirt. His jaw was swollen too, dark bruising already beginning to develop. It took Naruto a second to realise that Sasuke was the one they had been beating on. He spat out a mouthful of blood, and Naruto could see him checking all his teeth with his tongue. Evidently this wasn’t his first rodeo.

 

“But… you left.” Naruto stumbled over his words, suddenly forgetting how to speak. “You told me you were leaving the city!”

 

“And now I’m back.”

 

His head beginning to clear, Naruto pulled out a packet of tissues and made his way over to where Sasuke stood. He reached out, trying to apply them to the gash on his forehead, but Sasuke batted his hand away.

  
“Stop playing the tough guy.” Naruto growled. “You’re bleeding pretty bad, we’ve got to get you to the hospital. I think you might need stitches.”

 

Sasuke glowered at him, but grabbed the tissues all the same. “I’m not going to the hospital.” He said bluntly, dabbing at his face.

 

Naruto sighed. _Same old Sasuke alright, it’s like pulling teeth…_

“You really shouldn’t be doing vigilante work.” Sasuke said, flicking his cigarette into the gutter where it extinguished with a dull hiss. “Especially if you’ve had a few drinks. You got sloppy.”

 

Naruto’s anger sparked as quickly as the cigarette’s flame was doused, his hands curling into fists. “I got sloppy? Those bastards were having a pretty good go at knocking out your teeth before I showed up!”

 

Sasuke shrugged, rubbing his battered jaw. He turned away, and paused as if he was going to say something. But he just sighed and started walking.

 

“It was nice seeing you again, Naruto.”                                                 

 

And Naruto watched him limp away, hands in his pockets. The friend he hadn’t seen in 3 years. The friend that had abandoned everyone that cared about him, had hurt everyone that wanted to help him, had spat on everything his friendships had meant…

 

And he was walking away again.

 

“Wait!” Naruto shouted, running after him. Sasuke half-turned, his expression... bemused? Naruto couldn’t quite tell.  He caught up with the other man, suddenly unsure of what to say.

 

“Have a drink with me.” It was the first thing that came into his head. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck.

 

_Of course he wouldn’t want to. He’d made it very clear where he stood when he ran off and-_

“Sure.”

 

Naruto almost did a double take. The corner of Sasuke’s mouth twitched slightly as he took in Naruto’s dumbfounded expression, wincing slightly as his jaw moved.

  
“Close your mouth, idiot, you’ll catch flies. Let’s find a bar.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Sasuke walked slowly, but with purpose: he seemed to know where he was going.

  
“Got somewhere in mind?” Naruto asked, falling into step beside him. Throwing his arms behind his head once again, he gave a sideways glance to Sasuke. Despite the time difference, he hadn’t changed much: head slightly bowed, hands in his pockets, his posture was one of understatement. But there was something there, an underlying confidence and power. He’d always had that, as long as Naruto could remember. He still viewed the world through hooded eyes, an expression of what seemed like perpetual boredom etched on his pale features. But there was something different about those piercing eyes, something Naruto couldn’t quite put his finger on.

  
Sasuke absent-mindedly dabbed at a spot of blood on his sleeve before realising it was splattered all over his chest and collar, giving it up as a bad job. “There’s a nice place nearby, a whisky bar.” He glanced at Naruto and rolled his eyes again, mumbling something under his breath. Following a questioning look from Naruto, he sighed. “I forgot you did that with your arms. You look like a goddamn idiot.”

  
“Says the man who looks like he’s been hit by a truck on his way to a funeral. What’s with the suit by the way? You a gangster now?”

  
“It’s called class, Naruto, not a concept you’re familiar with if memory serves.”

 

“If you say so Mr Capone, just don’t send the mob after me.”

 

Sasuke shot him daggers as he turned to enter a bar just outside the tunnel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An impromptu offer met with an unexpected acceptance, Naruto finds himself going for a drink with Sasuke for the first time in three years.

Chapter 2

 

Sasuke pushed open the door of the chosen bar, not bothering to hold it for Naruto. Catching the black-painted wood as it fell on him, Naruto noticed how scored and peeling it was. Not for the first time he wondered what sort of bars Sasuke frequented; if he’d had to have guessed, this definitely wouldn’t have been his first choice. The interior made up for its drab façade: while busy, it at least seemed clean. The walls consisted of bare stone, large mismatched blocks of varying greys that hosted an assortment of flags and posters. Aggressive, heavy music played over the speakers, but it blended into the crowd’s chatter as background noise. Naruto did his best to follow Sasuke as he weaved his way to the bar, passing through a great variety of people: young and old stood shoulder to shoulder in the throng, every alternative style and colour under the sun accounted for. Sasuke gently placed his hand on the shoulder of a giant harsh-looking man, who immediately moved to let them through. He gave Naruto a large, genuine smile as he passed.

 

“Is this place usually filled with so many… characters?” Naruto asked as they reached the bar. He glanced back at the friendly biker, now enthusiastically talking to his friend.

 

“Mostly the just the older guys, a few students. But weekends are weekends. They have gigs on in the back too. The bigger acts can draw quite a crowd.” Sasuke replied, managing to squeeze himself into a small gap at the bar. He turned his head slightly, not quite looking at Naruto. “I’ll get first round, what do you want?”

 

Naruto’s brain seemed to jam for a second. “Eh… JD and coke if you’re getting.” Naruto shook his head as Sasuke tried to flag down the bartender: what was wrong with him? Even after he’d had a few drinks, he wasn’t usually this bad. He decided it was probably that hook to the head he’d received earlier, trying to put it out his mind and focus.

 

The bartender frowned when he saw Sasuke, making his way over with a stern expression on his face. Naruto had almost forgotten: his friend was covered in blood. It was a miracle they were let in at all, but there was no way he was getting served…

 

“Jesus man, how many times have I told you?” The bartender growled. “One of these days you’re gonna go to the goddamn hospital instead of straight back in here.” He shook his head and reached under the counter, pulling out a rag and tossing it at Sasuke. “Go clean yourself up, you’re making the place look like a dive. Having your usual?”

 

Sasuke gave a small smile as he caught the rag. “Yeah, and a JD and coke for him,” he said, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder at Naruto. The bartender raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Slapping money down on the bar, Sasuke squeezed past Naruto. “Back in a sec.”

 

As the barman prepared their drinks, Naruto stepped forward and rested his forearms on the counter, one foot propped up on a golden rail that ran along the ground. He thanked the man as the drinks were deposited in front of him, one tall and dark, the other a whisky glass of amber. Leaning in slightly, Naruto caught his eye. “So this is nothing new then? Him turning up half-dead?”

 

The bartender shrugged as he scooped up the money. “Every so often, yeah. From what I’ve seen, he’s very… confrontational. He doesn’t start fights, he just has a habit of calling people out on their shit.” He wandered over to the register, pulling out some change and placing it on the bar. “Of course, some people don’t take too kindly to being shown up. They step outside and… well you’ve seen the result.” He shrugged. “Only reason he hasn’t been barred yet is the owner has a soft spot for him. Dunno why he doesn’t learn: look at the state of him, seems like the only thing he can do is take a punch.”

 

Naruto almost interrupted him there: Sasuke had always been the strongest person he knew, master of several martial arts with unparalleled ferocity: Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Karate, Sasuke had been taught them all from a young age.

 

 _I know that all too well_ Naruto thought, subconsciously rubbing his arm.

 

“Honestly,” the bartender continued. “You’re the first person I’ve seen him actually come in with. He usually just leaves with them.”

 

Something about that made Naruto’s stomach drop. He muttered a quick thanks and picked up his drink, just looking for something to do with his hands. He supposed he should feel sad for his friend: drinking alone, the fights, leaving with different people each night… but there was a knot in his stomach, something akin to anger. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest as he took a drink, trying to calm his nerves. Christ, what was happening to him?

Sasuke sidled up to him suddenly, causing him to jump and choke on his drink. Sasuke sighed as Naruto had a coughing fit, grabbing his drink and change off the counter, knocking back a mouthful. He seemed to relax, some of the stiffness leaving his posture.

 

“Too strong for you?” He teased, a smile seeming to dance around the edge of his lips but not quite coming to the surface.

 

Naruto didn’t deign to reply, taking another sip to ease his aching throat. Now he was cleaned up a bit, Naruto could see the bartender was right: Sasuke had been on the losing end of quite a few fights. Harsh bruising snaked up his neck in dark purple and sickly yellow blotches. His jaw was already slightly swollen, and Naruto could make out several small, pale scars against his ashen skin. It was the same story for his arms: shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows, he could see half-healed cuts adorning his wiry frame. One particularly large scar, angry and white, ran from the webbing of his thumb down to the centre of his palm. Naruto grimaced just thinking about how much that must have hurt.

 

Sasuke noticed the path of his gaze, a dry, humourless chuckle escaping him. “That one had a knife.” He said, taking a large sip from the squat glass he held.

 

Naruto gritted his teeth, Sasuke’s cavalier attitude irking him beyond measure. “So how does the famed Sasuke Uchiha go from winning tournaments to getting his ass beaten by the steroid brigade? The Sasuke I know… the Sasuke I knew wouldn’t have let them so much as touch him.”

 

Sasuke didn’t avoid the question as much as ignore it. “Despite your sloppiness, you move well: you still train, Naruto?”

 

Although phrased as one, Naruto could tell that wasn’t a question. He was about to start demanding answers, but it suddenly occurred to him that it wouldn’t work: no matter what else had changed, Sasuke seemed as stubborn as ever. He’d have to play by Sasuke’s rules if he was going to get anything out of him.

 

Naruto took a long drink, partly to calm himself and partly to ease his throat, still sore from inhaling what felt like a pint of Jack Daniels. “Yeah, I still go regularly, same schedule as ever: one hour kickboxing with Kakashi, one hour mixed with Jiraiya.”

 

Sasuke nodded. “Yeah, I figured. You still move with the subtlety of a brick. Kickboxing’s to blame, it’s all heavy hits. Jiraiya’s got a basis in proper martial arts, right? At least that’s got discipline.”

 

“I could still kick your ass. Or just wait until you pick your next fight.”

 

That smile flirted with his lips for a second once more. “I had them right where I wanted them.”

 

Naruto figured that was Sasuke’s idea of bravado. “So I assumed you’ve stopped your own training?”

 

“On the contrary: I now practice Ju-Jitsu, Muay Tai, and Krav Maga. Krav Maga’s my new favourite. Practical and efficient.”

 

“Wasn’t that designed for the Israeli military?” Naruto asked, quite surprised in his choice martial art. “One routine I saw involved beating people with a damn assault rifle. Seems a bit… unrefined. For you.”

 

Sasuke gave another grim laugh. “That’s half the point: it’s half intimidation, half pain. See someone dropped with that level of brutality… you aren’t gonna want to be next.”

 

Sasuke was a hard man to read, but even with their years apart Naruto had got a lot of practice. What he saw scared him. Even though his tone and expression remained the same, Naruto could tell Sasuke was enjoying it, the idea of their fear.

 

 _No, it’s more than that: it’s the idea that they fear_ _him._

 

Despite the way he looked, Sasuke Uchiha was still a very dangerous man.

Naruto shuddered, having to look away. This seemed so different from the person he knew.

 

_Or maybe I never really knew him at all…_

Naruto clenched his fist, unfocused eyes boring a hole in the vast collection of bottles at the back of the bar as he steeled his resolve. Sasuke may have gone down a bad path; Naruto decided it just meant he needed to try even harder to help him.

 

He tried again. “So how does a master of Krav Maga, and whatever else, end up with so many injuries?”

 

Sasuke finished his whisky, seemingly ignoring Naruto. Exchanging money for alcohol, he turned to Naruto with a fresh glass.

 

“Tell you what,” he said, leaning towards Naruto, his voice low. His eyes were playful, but there was an edge to them that made Naruto uncomfortable. “How about we play a game? Question for a question, answer for an answer. Since you seem to be so insistent.”

 

Naruto nodded, taking the drink to his lips once more. “Okay then: since I already answered a question of yours, I get to go first. What have you actually been doing these last 3 years?” He had more pressing questions, but he figured he should start small and work his way up, lest Sasuke decide not to honour the agreement.

 

_It might also help if he has a bit more to drink._

“Ah-ah-ah, Naruto.” Sasuke chided, still disturbingly playful. In a flash of understanding, Naruto realised why it was so disconcerting: it reminded him of the look a cat gives a baby bird, letting it escape only to be caught and toyed with some more. “That’s not how the game works. I’m not giving you my life story in one question. No, you’re gonna need to be more specific.”

 

Naruto’s patience was wearing thin. “Fine: do you have a job, or do your nightly liaisons pay for all your drinks?”

 

Sasuke seemed rather taken aback. “Are you implying-”

 

“-that you’re a prostitute, yes.”

 

As much as he relished the subtle disquiet on Sasuke’s face, Naruto regretted what had slipped unbidden out of his mouth. His quick defence of it, too, just jumped out his mouth. His brain seemed to be tying itself in knots.

 

_There it goes, any hint of tact out the window. He’s gonna wonder how I know that too… “Nightly liaisons?” Who the fuck am I, Shakespeare?_

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as Naruto finished his drink, avoiding eye contact. He could feel a blush sinking its crimson fangs into his cheeks. He didn’t know why he was so hung up on that fact: why should it matter to him how Sasuke spent his nights? Even with all those injuries, he bet Sasuke had girls falling all over him-

 

_-Naruto. Focus._

Turning back to Sasuke, Naruto saw those eyes quickly snap away from the bartender, his frown fading half a second too slow.

 

“Well,” Sasuke said, picking up his drink again. “First off, I’m not a prostitute. If that needed clarification.” Naruto winced, sure that the liquid sarcasm he’d injected into that phrase was venom enough to kill a man.

“But yeah, I have a job. I’m in business. Boring stuff really: I protect assets, acquire information about our competition, arrange… hostile takeovers. It pays well. I was actually on a job tonight. Hence the suit.” He looked down, suddenly seeming to remember something. “Except I’ve lost the tie. And the jacket. All things considered, it’s not been a great night.”

 

“They called you in on a Friday night? What’s so important that it can’t wait till tomorrow?” Naruto asked, trying to add some incredulity to his voice and coax out more information.

 

And move the conversation swiftly past that last accusation of his, of course.

 

Sasuke, unfortunately, was having none of it. “Timing is very important in my line of work: wait too long, and it can be someone’s neck on the line.”

 

 _Well,_ Naruto thought. _That told me sweet fuck all._

Sasuke was obviously used to being vague about his work: Naruto could tell those phrases were carefully constructed to tell as little as possible. He figured there could be many reasons Sasuke needed secrecy for his work. He might work with sensitive documents. He could need to protect trade secrets.

 

_Or he just enjoys being a mysterious bastard._

“Okay,” Sasuke said, dragging Naruto from his thoughts. “My turn: why do my ‘nightly liaisons,’ as you so eloquently put it, bother you?”

 

_Shit._

“They don’t.” Naruto replied, too quickly. His brain was vomiting words again without his permission: if he didn’t get a hold of himself soon, he might have backed himself into an awkward situation.

 

Sasuke’s voice was smooth silk, dripping with amusement. “You’ve always been a bad liar, Naruto. Any more cheating and I might have to consider abandoning this little game.” He gave Naruto a sidelong glance. “After all, we need rules, don’t we Naruto?”

 

_Shiiiiiit._

 

“Do you disagree with it?” He continued. “I’d never pegged you as a traditionalist Naruto, but stranger things have happened.”

 

“It’s not that.” Naruto muttered. “It’s…”

 

_What is it?_

He straightened up, speaking louder. “I guess it’s just I feel you deserve better. I mean I don’t disagree with what you’re doing, I think people should be able to explore sex in any way they want. But it’s gotta be lonely, right? You’ve figured out I asked the bartender about you while you were gone, not much point in pretending otherwise. You come in alone. You leave with someone different every night. Wouldn’t it be better if you had someone you could rely on? Someone that knows you, I mean really knows you?”

 

Sasuke was listening intently, a strange look on his face. It made Naruto think he was on the right track.

 

“It’s not to put you down or anything dude, I’m sure the girls are all over you, but-”

 

Sasuke chose that moment to interrupt him, that amused smirk finally coming to the surface. “Who said anything about girls?”

 

_Oh. Wow._

“You should see the look on your face.” Sasuke continued, his eyebrow cocked once more. “Is it really that hard to believe?”

 

It took Naruto a second to reboot his brain. “Oh, no, not really. It’s just, ah…” he gave a nervous laugh, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s kinda stupid.”

 

Sasuke didn’t respond, but Naruto could swear the eyebrow had crept higher.

“It’s just I didn’t think any of those high school rumours were true, you know?”

 

“There were rumours about me?” Sasuke asked, seeming sceptical.

 

“Well yeah, there was about everyone. You know what our school was like. Some kid swore blind that Ino’s hair was a wig. Another said they saw Mr Sarutobi and Miss Yuhi kissing in an empty classroom.” Naruto paused and looked up in thought. “Actually, that was probably true as well, I heard they had a kid some time after we left.

 

“I see,” Sasuke murmured, his expression puzzling Naruto once more.

 

_Man, why does he have to be so hard to read?_

“What else did they say about me?” He asked, his expression still slightly odd.

Naruto tried to put it out his mind: he didn’t seem to be able to focus on more than one thing at a time tonight. “Erm…” hummed Naruto, still reeling slightly from his recent discover. “There were a few. Shikamaru heard you entered a judo contest several years above your age class and won.”

 

Sasuke nodded. “Yeah, that was right. It was never on the books though: once they found out my age, they disqualified me.”

 

Naruto wasn’t surprised. “You’ve never been one for rules, have you Sasuke? Except when they suit you, of course.” He added, remembering his insistence on them several minutes ago.

 

“Not if I can help it.” He tried to get the bartender again, a look of annoyance flitting briefly across his face as he was ignored in favour of a man with a giant beard. Turning back to Naruto, Sasuke enquired further. “What else?”

 

“I’m sure at some point a few people said you could lift a whole car by yourself, but that one can’t be true.” Naruto glanced at Sasuke out the corner of his eye. “Right?”

 

Sasuke placed a curled finger on his chin, knuckle brushing his lower lip, looking thoughtful. “Well… no, that was after I left. So that probably doesn’t count.”

 

“Wait, ‘doesn’t count?’ How can you pull off crazy shit like that and say it “doesn’t count?” Naruto exclaimed, using his fingers to hammer home the point.

 

“It’s a long story.”

 

“Oh no, you don’t get to tell me you kinda lifted a car and get away with ‘it’s a long story.’” Naruto said mimicking Sasuke’s low voice as he quoted him.

 

Sasuke sighed. “Fine. It is your turn to ask a question, I guess it can be that. But first I’m gonna need a drink.” He clinked his whisky glass against Naruto’s equally empty tall one. “Since we’re both empty… your round.”

 

After they finally got the bartender’s attention, Naruto hopped up on onto a bar stool, Sasuke electing to stand with his drink. This time it was something called Bruichladdich: Naruto didn’t know how he remembered all the names of these fancy whiskies, or how he could afford them.

 

Grumbling slightly about his significantly lighter wallet, Naruto took a large gulp of Jack Daniels and coke, leaning forward to listen.

 

“Okay,” Sasuke said, putting his glass down. “So I wake up naked in a stranger’s bed, head pounding. Throat feels like sandpaper, stomach’s inside out: nothing new. Strange thing is my arms and shoulders hurt like fuck, and I can’t remember anything from the night before. My memory’s usually crystal, unless I’ve had a stupidly large amount to drink.

This guy comes through, also naked, with coffee. I remembered his name, Suigetsu, but nothing else is coming to me. I ask him what happened the night before. He gives me the biggest shit-eating grin, says ‘apart from the obvious?’”

 

Sasuke shook his head, smiling ruefully. “He tells me that he was in a bar, a high-end sort of place. He’d been told to retrieve his boss’s new car, this tiny carbon fibre prototype, and park it somewhere safe for the night; instead, he’d decided to use it to help his ‘pull game,’ as he described it. So he’s at the bar, talking up this car to anyone that will listen. And a few are: he’d talk engines with some of the guys, and more than a few of the girls to hear him tell it.”

 

Sasuke gave a quick bark of laughter at Naruto’s surprised expression, but this one seemed more genuine. “Suigetsu sees no gender, only prey. Apparently I was at the other end of the bar – God knows what I was doing somewhere like that – having to listen to every attempt, all night. And… apparently I got rather fed up of it. He says I grabbed him by the collar, dragged him out into the street, walked up to the car in question… and I flipped it.”

 

Naruto almost spat out his drink. “You flipped a-”

 

“-I flipped a car.” He took a sip of whisky, nodding, “To be fair, it was one of those stupid tiny cars, carbon fibre to make it super-light.”

 

“Still, holy shit,” Naruto muttered. He chuckled. “How did he take it, Su…”

 

“Suigetsu?” Sasuke finished. “He calls his boss, freaking out about how ‘some dude’s flipped his fucking car.’ Apparently I was standing there, smoking, looking quite pleased with myself. Until I heard him say his boss’s name. The car I flipped?” He gave a dramatic pause: he was really getting into the story, slowly becoming more animated. “It was my boss’s. We both worked for the same guy.”

 

This time Naruto did lose a bit of drink. Wiping Jack Daniels off his chin, he laughed into his sleeve. “You flipped your boss’s car? Jesus dude! I guess you had to find another job after that, huh?”

 

Sasuke shook his head at Naruto, but still smiled. “If I worked for anyone else, maybe. This guy’s somewhat odd. He turned up ready to kill someone until he realised it was me. He thought it was hilarious. Of course, the repairs were taken out of my wages, but I was lucky. Suigetsu actually got more shit for not parking it safely in the first place. We got talking though, had rather a lot more to drink and, well… you know what happened.”

 

Naruto just shook his head, stunned into silence. As amazing as the story was, the parts about him sleeping with the other man still made him feel strange. Sasuke may have bought the line about Naruto wanting Sasuke to have a proper companion, but Naruto wondered if that was all there was to it. He took another drink: self-analysing was hard.

 

“It’s not often I see you speechless Naruto.” Sasuke teased. Naruto just smiled into his drink, glancing at him past the rim of the glass. Sasuke seemed to be more relaxed, some of the tension having left his body: his shoulders were lower, his expression less guarded. His head had dipped slightly as well, so he was looking less down at Naruto and more at him. During his anecdote he’d started smiling more genuinely, the way he used to: that cocky smirk, less clinical and more full of life. It felt more like the Sasuke he’d known. It made Naruto both happy and sad.

 

“My turn,” Sasuke said, swirling his drink slightly, watching the glass for a second before looking up at Naruto. “You in a relationship, Naruto?”

 

The question wasn’t what Naruto had expected. “That’s a bit of an odd question. Why do you want to know?”

 

A smile flitted round the corner of his mouth. “I’m curious: for all I’ve talked about you being the same as ever, you also seem different. It’s something small, I can’t put my finger on it.” He paused slightly, tapping the edge of his glass. “Having a partner can change people.”

 

“It has been three years, can’t I have just matured a bit?” Naruto asked, somewhat disgruntled. He sighed when Sasuke just cocked an eyebrow – he swore those things were spring-loaded – but smiled despite himself. “Yeah, yeah, okay. To answer your question, no: I’m not currently seeing anyone.”

 

Sasuke caught onto his word choice immediately, not missing a beat. “Currently? So you were until recently?”

 

Naruto chuckled. “Nothing gets by you, does it? Hinata and I were together for a while, but… well it just didn’t work out.”

 

“You and Hinata, huh? I didn’t expect her to actually say anything to you. I assume she asked you, right?”

 

Naruto’s jaw dropped. “Don’t tell me you knew she liked me? For years I thought she was just shy!”

 

Sasuke laughed, a soft, low, snigger. “Naruto, you dolt, _everyone_ knew. You didn’t need my eyes to see that. I mean, really, she went red anytime she was near you.” He shook his head as he took a drink. “So what happened?”

 

“Ah-ah-ah Sasuke!” Naruto playfully scolded, imitating the phrase his friend had used earlier. “That’s another question. Me first.”

 

Sasuke groaned as he leaned forward, and Naruto felt some of the amusement drain from his face as he prepared to ask a serious question. “I gotta know man: why were those guys laying into you earlier? It’s something you said, right?”

 

“Hmm,” Sasuke agreed, sampling more of the Bruichladdich. “He really gave you an in-depth profile of me, didn’t he? The bartender,” Sasuke confirmed at Naruto’s confused expression, spinning his near-empty glass. “Well it started off quite innocently, really. I was at another bar, minding my own business. The guy next to me won’t stop bragging about how much he can drink. On and on, this macho bullshit grating in my ear. No one should be forced to listen to that kind of over-compensation: I felt sorry for him more than anything. I was gonna leave it alone-” he cut off, seeing Naruto’s expression. “-no, really, I was. But then this guy, the blond one, says he drank six bottles of vodka himself in one night. I politely informed him, his friends, and the bored lady he was trying to impress that, unless he’s talking miniatures, six bottles would leave him dead. One of them, equally politely, told me to get lost.”

 

Naruto giggled, interrupting Sasuke. “Politely?”

 

Sasuke grinned. “I’m paraphrasing. So a few of them laugh, a few heckle me, but not Blondie: no, this guy insists on trying to square up to me, practically humping my shoulder. I try and ignore him, you know, these sorts of people aren’t worth your time. They don’t give you a decent fight.” He drained his glass, making a satisfied face as the liquid trickled down his throat. Raising his empty at the bartender, Sasuke continued. “He keeps trying to goad me, and I’m not buying it… until he tries a certain word. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.” He leaned forward, looking dead into Naruto’s eyes. “I am rather drunk, Naruto. I mean, I was rather drunk in the last bar too. That slur, it wound me up more than it should have. Judgement goes out the window a bit. So we took it outside.”

 

Naruto was curious of the word, but didn’t want to push Sasuke: he knew the man had thick skin, so anything that could get under it must be cutting.

 

“Here’s what I don’t get,” Naruto said cautiously, before erupting into another coughing fit. Evidently his throat was still a bit sore from his mishap earlier. Sasuke frowned as he received a top up.

 

Naruto recovered slightly, trying to clear his throat. “What I don’t get is how quickly you went from human punching bag to breaking that guy’s arm. It was scary. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone move that fast.”

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Sasuke replied curtly. “It’s not your turn any more: I get the answer to my last one: why did you and Hinata break up?”

 

Naruto sighed. Every time it seemed like he was getting closer to an answer, Sasuke evaded it. He was like a snake.

 

Naruto started to talk again, only to be overcome by another bought of coughing. After another sip Sasuke paused, planting his drink in front of Naruto. “Here, try this. For your throat.”

 

Naruto, nodding a wordless thanks, picked up the glass and gulped down a mouthful. His throat, still twinging, was suddenly set afire as the amber liquid burnt a trail down his body. He gasped in air, eyes watering.

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time. “Idiot. That’s not how you drink whisky.” As Naruto, wheezing once more, tried to pass him back the glass Sasuke resolutely slammed it back in front of him. His eyes found Naruto’s again. “Small sips. Let it run over your tongue. Properly taste it: only when it’s fully saturated your mouth… then you swallow.”

  
Something about the way Sasuke said that made Naruto feel strange. His dark eyes, intense, brooding, pulled Naruto in like a whirlpool, or a black hole. They made him feel intimidated, yet oddly… curious. His voice had also changed: his tone, slightly disinterested even when telling his anecdotes, became warm and inviting. It was a side of Sasuke he was beginning to see more of as the night went on. Naruto felt at that moment like he might just obey any command Sasuke gave him.

 

Shakily, Naruto broke eye contact, picking up the glass once more. Taking a small sip, he did as Sasuke said, letting the liquid flow over his tongue and soak into him. A feeling of warmth, different to the intense fire he’d felt before, slowly spread through his entire mouth. It was smoky, but didn’t burn. He swallowed, the warmth stroking his throat as it passed.

 

Naruto spent several seconds staring at the drink in his hand. The amber liquid settled at the bottom of the glass, tiny ripples breaking the surface as minute vibrations rocked it.

 

Naruto blinked, jumping slightly as he snapped back to reality. Sasuke was watching him intently, with an expression Naruto could only describe as expectant. Naruto cleared his throat, the pain fading.

 

“Holy shit.”

 

Sasuke laughed uproariously, the first real laugh he had heard from the man that night. A goofy grin spread over Naruto’s features as he handed the glass back. “I gotta get me one of those.”

 

Naruto turned to face the bar, trying to get the bartender’s attention once more. As he finished serving two girls on their right he made his way to the pair, a bemused expression on his face.

 

“Yeah, I’ll have a…” Naruto frowned and turned to Sasuke. “Shit, what’s it called?”

 

“Bruichladdich.”

 

“…that. Please.”

 

 “Jesus, man.” Sasuke said as his drink was prepared. He spelt it out by syllable, slowly. “Brew. Clad. Eee. It’s not hard.” He took a sip of said whisky. “My family’s not even from here and I seem to manage.”

 

“Don’t pull that Asian shit Sasuke, you were born in the same hospital as me.” Naruto laughed as his arrived. Eagerly taking a small sip, he repeated the process Sasuke had outlined, nodding as it soothed his aching throat. “Besides, you really think my roots are here? Never met another Uzumaki in my life.”

 

“Regardless.” Sasuke smiled, obviously not taking Naruto’s jab to heart. He gestured to the glass in Naruto’s hand. “Rule of thumb is to hold it in your mouth for as many years as the whisky’s been aged. This one’s… ten, I think.” He raised his voice slightly, but he didn’t need much more volume to cut through the background noise. “Drew, this is a ten, right?”

 

“Yeah, that’s a Laddie 10.”

 

Sasuke nodded, taking another sip. “Of course, that’s just a bit pedantic. So: you and Hinata?”

 

Naruto nodded. “Yeah. It’s hard to describe. I mean, I cared for her, a lot. But there just wasn’t a spark, you know? People always say you’re supposed to know when you’re in love with someone, that it makes some sort of cosmic sense. It just… didn’t.”

 

“So you ended it?”

 

“No, actually: she did. I know,” he said, addressing Sasuke’s surprise. “She said she could tell that it wasn’t going to work out. I think it was the world’s most anticlimactic breakup to be honest. It was weird for a few months, but we’re still good friends. It’s not really much of a story.”

 

“I dunno,” Sasuke mused, leaning back onto the bar. “It was clear to anyone with eyes that Hinata was madly in love with you. If she could tell you weren’t into her as much…” he shrugged. “It seems like she let you go because she cared so much for you. You’re a lucky guy.” He took a drink, starting past Naruto into the crowded bar. “It’s hard to let go of someone like that.”

 

“Aw man…” Naruto ran his fingers through his hair, stunned by this sudden revelation. “I’d never thought about it that way before. Damn, that’s… that’s really touching.”

 

“She’s one hell of a girl.” Sasuke agreed. He raised his glass. “To people like her: may they long make us look like total assholes by comparison.”

 

Naruto laughed, meeting Sasuke’s extended arm and completing the toast. They both drank, Sasuke more deeply than Naruto. Putting yet another finished whisky on the bar, Sasuke fished in his pocket for his wallet again.

 

“Woah man,” Naruto said, putting his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Maybe you should slow down, you’ve had a lot to drink tonight.”

 

Sasuke quickly brushed Naruto’s hand off, but more gently than he expected. “I’m fine. I’ve been a lot more drunk than this.”

 

“You’ve lost a lot of blood.”

 

“I’ve also lost a lot more than this. Don’t babysit me, I know my limits.” He paused as the bartender came up to them. “Hey… no, Talisker this time. Cheers.” He turned back to Naruto. “Besides, speak for yourself: you were a bit drunk when we started too, and you haven’t exactly been going slowly. Mixing your drinks as well.”

 

“Jack Daniels is whisky.”

 

“Barely. Far too sweet.” He snorted, grabbing the glass Drew produced, palming his change. “Christ, may as well drink Bells.”

 

“God forbid anyone have an opinion Sasuke.” Naruto shrugged. “Besides, it all tastes the same to me.”

 

“Well if you ever mix Auchentoshan or Talisker with coke I will personally kill you.” Sasuke growled.

“You already had a go at that,” Naruto muttered under his breath. More clearly, he said. “Well it’s a good thing I have a medic on speed dial.”

 

If Sasuke heard the first part, he didn’t show it. “Sakura, yeah? And how’s she doing? She’ll have moved North for uni, right?”

 

Naruto nodded. “She’s good, actually in town for once. I’d just dropped her off at her hotel before I ran into you. You’re right as ever: she graduated top of the class, moved away for med school. She, eh… she leaves tomorrow. You could meet her before the train, if you wanted to.”

 

Sasuke took a long drink, closing his eyes. “That… may not be the best idea. I don’t imagine she’ll be quite as forgiving as you are.”

 

Naruto sat up, his mouth fixed in a hard line. “Who says I’ve forgiven you?”

 

Sasuke sighed once again, but this time it was different: where before had been aloofness was now only weariness. He opened his eyes again, turning them on Naruto’s. The deep pools of midnight complexity seemed to clear, revealing something in Sasuke Naruto had never seen: vulnerability. It was sorrow without his rage, exhaustion without his determination to carry on. Sasuke’s eyes were full of hurt, loneliness, and more pain than Naruto had ever seen in another human being.

 

“That’s always been your problem Naruto. You forgave me the moment I hurt you.”

 

As briefly as it was there, it vanished; Sasuke’s face shut down into the cold, hard mask that Naruto knew so well, dropping his glass on the bar.

 

“I have to go.”

 

Before Naruto could protest, Sasuke pushed off the bar. He lost his footing, staggering into the biker they’d passed earlier, wheeling off his massive shoulder. It was as if all the alcohol had hit him in that one second. Or maybe he had been this drunk all along, just using the bar for support. The man seemed startled, but managed to catch Sasuke before he fell. Softly placing the tankard he held on a table, he got Sasuke upright.

 

“Woah, looks like someone’s had too much to drink…”

 

Naruto rushed over, more sure footed than his friend, and looped Sasuke’s arm around his shoulder. “I’m sorry man, I think he needs some sleep.”

 

The burly man nodded, frowning as Sasuke half-heartedly tried to push Naruto off him. “You look after him, okay?”

 

Naruto grinned his best winning smile. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. C’mon Sasuke, you can crash at mine.”

 

Sasuke gave a feeble mumble of dissent, but allowed Naruto to guide him out of the bar and onto the busy street: he seemed to realise he was in no fit state to take himself home.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto grunted, staggering slightly as he hoisted Sasuke over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. They had reached his flat, only 15 minutes from the tunnel, but it was 15 minutes of practically dragging Sasuke’s stubborn form up hills. It was like all the life had gone out of him in those few seconds it had taken to leave the bar. Slowly ascending the stairs as not to jostle a delicate Sasuke, Naruto eventually made it to the second floor. Holding onto Sasuke’s back with one hand and grabbing his keys with the other, he unlocked the door on his second try, pushing it open. He was a lot less sober than he had thought.

 

Carrying Sasuke straight through to the bedroom, Naruto gently deposited him on the bed. For a second he considered leaving him there, fully clothed: he looked half asleep anyway, it wouldn’t make much difference to him. Still, something compelled Naruto to grab some pyjama bottoms from a cluttered drawer. Throwing them on the bed next to the prone form of Sasuke, he started unbuttoning his shirt. Blushing slightly, Naruto tried to be as business-like as possible.

 

_You’re only doing him a favour is all…_

He didn’t know why he was so embarrassed: he’d done this for Kiba a few times when he’d been gone overboard on a bottle of absinthe, and it wasn’t an issue. Maybe it was just the fact that it was Sasuke, and he was still uncomfortable with him.

 

_Maybe it’s because Sasuke’s gay._

Naruto fumbled on one of the buttons, giving an exasperated sigh. Did it feel strange to be undressing Sasuke because he was interested in men? He didn’t want it to be the case, but there was a nagging suspicion in his mind that it could be.

 

_It shouldn’t matter…_

Naruto got the last button, pulling Sasuke’s leaden arms out of the sleeves. He wasn’t as skinny as Naruto remembered: his training had obviously bulked him up somewhat, making him all bone and muscle. As he turned Sasuke over to get his left sleeve, Naruto noticed a large scar that arced from armpit to just below his pectoral. It was a pinkish white like the one on his hand, but wider and more jagged. He could see the paler lines where they’d stitched him together, the needle moving point to point across his chest.

 

Naruto had the oddest urge to touch it. He knew he really shouldn’t, as it would be untold levels of creepy, but he couldn’t help himself. He glanced at Sasuke’s face quickly, but the man was completely out of it. Biting the inside of his cheek, Naruto slowly extended an index finger towards the fascinating blemish.

 

It was very smooth to the touch, the needle’s line a slight bump underneath the translucent skin. It met his undamaged flesh at a hard line, not visible but rough to the touch: the scar was a trench cut through the pale skin, a brutal path carved with a blade.

 

As Naruto gently ran the finger along his body Sasuke shivered, his brow deepening in a frown. Naruto jumped, quickly jerking his hand away and hitting it on the chest of drawers in the process. Stifling a yelp, he shook his hand a few times. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he blushed.

 

_What the fuck are you doing, Naruto? Stop molesting this poor dude and give him his pyjamas._

Grabbing a hanger from his wardrobe, Naruto pulled the shirt out from under Sasuke, flipping him slightly. He couldn’t help but see the bruises that extended down his back: from pale yellows to the darkest purples, Sasuke’s back was a picture of pain. Speaking of pictures, Naruto spotted a small tattoo on his neck. It was what looked like 3 commas, arranged in a triangle with tails facing outwards. They were contained within a broken circle, with a few trails leaking from where the circle seemed to be cut.

 

As he placed the hanger, now complete with shirt, on his wardrobe door he wondered what the tattoo could mean.

 

_Is it like triple sixes, Satan worshiper stuff? Nah, probably not: even if he was into the music, Sasuke was never into that kind of culture. Maybe it’s a symbol or something, some Japanese family stuff. He’d always thought his heritage was important._

Shrugging, Naruto flipped Sasuke onto his back again, taking off his shoes and socks. Matter-of-factly, Naruto undid his belt and pulled off his trousers in one swift tug. Rousing slightly, Sasuke gazed blearily at Naruto, now only clad in a pair of tight grey briefs.

 

“Buy me dinner first?” He asked, slurring slightly on the s.

 

Naruto threw the pyjamas at him, folding the other trousers and placing them on a chair. Sasuke groped blindly at his face, obscured by soft cotton, before Naruto sighed and grabbed them. Stumbling slightly as he tried to get them over Sasuke’s feet, Naruto righted himself and pushed the thin fabric over the man’s calves, quite impressed by the muscle definition in his legs.

 

Pulling the waistband up to his thighs, Naruto gently slapped Sasuke’s arm. “C’mon, lift your arse.”

 

Sasuke kicked slightly and made an annoyed noise in his throat.

 

“Sasuke, get the fucking pjs on.”

 

He made the same noise again, more loudly, but this time complied enough that Naruto could slip the trousers on properly.

 

“Okay buddy, almost there…” Naruto whispered as he lifted Sasuke up slightly, drew back the covers and tossed him into bed. He rolled him onto his side, just in case he decided to pull a Choji and vomit half a steakhouse everywhere. Drawing the duvet up around his neck, Naruto smiled softly at the sight of Super Serious Sasuke Uchiha, sleeping soundly in a bright green bed spread with cartoon frogs on it. Chuckling to himself, Naruto stood up and went to leave. He paused by the light switch, looking back at the man in his bed. Despite his usual cool demeanour, Sasuke was more vulnerable than he had ever been before. He’d let his guard down for one second, and in that second Naruto had seen it all: the hurt, the loneliness, and just how lost the young man was.

 

But he was here again. For the first time in three years, Naruto knew that his friend was safe under his roof, just for one night. He felt it was the start of what might be a long recovery.

 

Naruto flipped the lights off and wandered through to his living room. Throwing his hoodie and t-shirt in an already-messy corner, he grabbed a spare blanket and flopped down on the couch. The last thought he had before floating into a drunken oblivion was wondering what sober Sasuke would make of this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions rise as old arguments bubble to the surface: has much really changed, or are things different now for Naruto and Sasuke?

Chapter 3:

 

Naruto groaned as he slowly came to consciousness. His head throbbed in time with his pulse, and his neck seemed to be bent at an odd angle. It took him a second to realise he was on his couch, huddled beneath a thin blanket. His brain lethargically started putting the pieces together: he was out drinking last night, first with Sakura, then something happened and-

 

A loud clatter interrupted his recollection, accompanied by a low curse. Someone was in his flat.

 

Ungluing his eyelids, Naruto pushed himself up from the couch to glare at whoever had obviously woken him up a second ago. He was surprised to find himself almost face to face with a very disgruntled Sasuke Uchiha, who was trying to slide by the couch unnoticed; judging by the empty cans of juice he had just knocked over, it evidently wasn’t going well.

 

Suddenly it all came back to him. For a second they both just stared at each other, Sasuke’s face quickly sliding back into the emotionless mask. He was looking no better than the night before: a lump on his jaw was surrounded by dark discolouration, and the cut above his eye had started to scab over. Judging by his encounter with the cans, his legs hadn’t fully recovered either. Or he was still a bit drunk.

 

Sasuke, cool as ever, straightened up and started walking towards the door. “Sorry I woke you. Thanks for letting me stay.”

 

Naruto stared at his back, dumbfounded for a second, before scrambling off the couch. Kicking the blanket off one foot and almost falling over in the process, he reached Sasuke just as he placed his hand on the door handle.

 

“Hey man, why are you leaving so soon? Come on, I’ll make breakfast.” He looked left at the studio kitchen, the messy breakfast bar right beside the door. “At least I think I have enough stuff to cook breakfast.”

 

Sasuke glanced back at him, but his fingers didn’t leave the handle. “I have to go.”

 

“Oh, okay…” Naruto fished his phone out of the pocket of the trousers he’d slept in, offering it to Sasuke. “Here, give me your number. So we can meet up again, you know?”

 

Sasuke still didn’t budge. “That’s not a good idea.”

 

“What? Come on man, don’t be like that…”

 

Sasuke continued ignoring him, just twisting the handle.

 

Naruto sighed; he’d had enough. He reached out to grab Sasuke’s shoulder. “Just wait a minute Sasuke, let’s talk about this…”

 

As soon as his hand made contact, Sasuke moved. Lightning fast, he grabbed Naruto’s hand with his left, ducking under it and twisting round to face him. Naruto’s arm was completely immobilised, flipped the wrong way.

 

“Face it: you’re completely outclassed Naruto.” Sasuke pushed a stray lock of abyss-black hair out of his eyes. “I’m gonna leave, and you’re gonna go on with whatever life you’ve set up here. It’ll be like I never came back. Got it?”

 

“What?” Naruto grunted, doubled over by the extreme bend his arm was in. “If you think I’m gonna just let you leave again you have another thing coming!”

 

This seemed to amuse him. “And you’re gonna stop me?”

 

“Goddamn right! I spent three years hoping you’d come back, only for you to just saunter out again? Fuck that, I’m gonna-”

 

Naruto was interrupted as Sasuke flipped him over the breakfast bar.

 

Clattering across the stramash of plates and glasses, Naruto was rolled over the counter and onto the floor. He landed hard amongst his dinnerware, his hip absorbing most of the blow as crockery fell around him. For a second he just lay there, stunned by the suddenness of Sasuke’s actions. Hearing the door click closed, Naruto’s trance was broken: he slammed his fist into the cupboard beside him.

 

“That little bitch!”

 

Still cursing under his breath, Naruto jumped up, feet slipping on broken plates. He raced over to get his shoes, but only succeeded in getting a shard of broken glass stuck in his bare foot.

 

“Fuck!” He yelped, hopping over to the couch. “I’m gonna kill him!”

 

He knew he didn’t have time to be gentle: Sasuke was getting further and further away as every second passed. Gritting his teeth, Naruto none too delicately yanked the glass out of his foot, eyes watering as the jagged splinter tore him open on the way out. He shoved his bleeding foot into his shoes, not bothering to tie up the laces. Making sure his keys were in his pocket, Naruto dashed out the flat, zipping a hoodie over his bare chest. Racing down the stairs, Naruto burst out into the overcast morning. Frantically searching up and down the street, he spotted Sasuke rounding a corner to his far left. Naruto half sprinted half limped up the road after him, weaving past the other pedestrians. Peeking round the corner, he saw Sasuke, walking leisurely downhill with his hands in his pockets.

 

_It’s like I thought: the smug bastard still doesn’t hurry anywhere. Just got to tail him, then…_

Then what? Naruto wasn’t sure what he’d do when he found out where Sasuke was going. Confront him again?

 

_Yeah, that worked so well the first time…_

Putting it out of his mind for now, Naruto focused on the task at hand. He waited for Sasuke to get far enough away then rounded the corner himself, trying to be discrete. Sasuke seemed to be heading back into the centre of town, unknowingly walking the same path they had the night before.

 

_Considering the state of us, “walking” might not have been entirely accurate…_

At one point he had to stop abruptly and try duck behind a post box as Sasuke suddenly lost his footing and staggered into a wall, one hand over his mouth. He seemed to be coughing, his body convulsing violently. Naruto got a surprise when he pulled a hipflask out of his pocket, drinking deeply from the silver lip. Straightening up again, Sasuke lit a cigarette and continued on his way.

 

Naruto bit his lip as he watched from behind the post box: Sasuke was obviously in worse shape than he thought. He was barely holding himself together. As he emerged from his hiding spot, Naruto thought it might be prudent to disguise himself slightly: he flipped up his hood, trying to keep it low enough that no one could see his face unless they were close.

 

Sasuke strolled further, never changing his pace beyond a slow walk. He walked through the very tunnel Naruto had found him in the other night, pausing only to admire some stray spots of blood that decorated the wall. Continuing on, they passed a few pubs, including last night’s whisky bar, and past where Naruto would have turned off to the town centre. Sasuke turned the opposite way, choosing to turn south up one of the small roads instead. As Naruto waited a second at the corner, he noticed a neon sign on the wall opposite him. The crimson glow, dull in the morning light, read “Not all those who wander are lost” – Naruto snorted, shaking his head. Now wasn’t the time for the universe to be giving him subtle hints.

 

Rounding the corner, Naruto followed Sasuke up the close. He had gained a considerable lead, continuing up to where the street tapered in. Naruto tried to maintain the same pace, as not to catch up with him too soon. He entered the narrow part of the street, cobbled and claustrophobic: the buildings seemed to close in on him, the dirty grey gravel of their exterior towering overhead. They were passing flats now, railings separating the bright red doors and minimal shrubbery from the street.

 

Sasuke suddenly stopped, beginning to turn. Naruto panicked, having nothing to use as cover. He did the only thing he could think of to avoid being seen: he dived over the nearest railing, landing in a tiny patch of grass that barely constituted as a garden. From his new vantage point he could just see Sasuke through the railings, leaning against the wall. It appeared to be under a Chinese restaurant, rich smells and shouting voices floating out the open window in equal measure. Naruto saw him knock on the surface behind him, and a heavily graffitied door opened up into the street. A man emerged, lazily tossing a brown package up and down in one hand.

 

This man was maybe the same height and build as Sasuke, but apart from that they were polar opposites: his straight, stark white hair contrasted harshly with Sasuke’s feathery midnight locks, a sharp snaggle-toothed smirk adorning his thin face. While Sasuke was monochrome black and white, loose shirt rolled up to his elbows, the other man was wearing a fuchsia shirt, buttoned rigidly and tight to his body.

 

Sasuke said something Naruto couldn’t quite make out, but the white haired man’s response was loud and playful, carrying quite clearly.

 

“Sure Sasuke, I’ll stop throwing the package around when you turn up on time. I know those coal pits you call eyes aren’t exactly used to the sun, but 3 hours is ridiculous. I guess that comes from being the boss’s favourite- hey, easy now!”

 

Sasuke had snatched the parcel mid throw, stuffed it in his shirt and turned to walk away.

 

The purple-shirted man shouted after him. “You could at least say thank you, you prick!” He shook his head and retreated back into the graffiti-covered door.

 

Once he was sure the man wouldn’t come back out Naruto jumped up, wiping dirt off his trousers. This time electing to take the gate, Naruto rushed up the lane, eager to keep his prey in sight. He emerged from the narrow street, quite glad to see the world open out around him once more.

 

Sasuke had turned left, his pace none the quicker for the parcel he’d received. He passed a university property, meandering across the road to a stone staircase, leading to the higher ground of the city. Naruto remained on his tail, waiting and then sprinting up the railing-lined stairs as soon as Sasuke had cleared them. A pair of men in hoodies sat drinking on the steps, eying Naruto curiously as he dashed past them. One of them called out something, perhaps in Polish, and his friend laughed.

 

At the top of the stairs, Naruto just caught Sasuke passing a church before turning once more, swigging from the hipflask as he did. He didn’t appear to have any direction in mind for his amblings: Naruto wondered if there was somewhere specific he was supposed to take this package for the white haired man.

 

They walked by a construction site, Naruto glimpsing a gutted building between the shiny silver barriers. They passed through more flats, then a hotel, Naruto trying to keep his distance. Sasuke, however, didn’t look around once. He crossed the road again, keeping to the right. Naruto followed. Sasuke suddenly ducked right into a tunnel, seemingly a vehicle entrance to a set of offices.

Cautiously approaching the tunnel entrance, Naruto took in the wall opposite him: smooth grey stone, a half-hearted graffiti tag decorating its drab surface. The roof was square and, unlike the half-cylinder of brick that they’d been under last night, reinforced metal. Before he could ascertain anything else, a familiar hand snapped around the corner, grabbing his collar with a grip of steel. Before Naruto could even blink, he was whipped off his feet, whirled round and slammed into a discoloured section of wall. Naruto gasped, all the breath knocked out of him by the impact.

 

“So you’re still just as stupid, huh Naruto? What did you think you’d get from following me? What, do you think you’re a fucking ninja now?” He slammed Naruto into the wall again, his face inches from Naruto’s. He could smell the whisky and cigarettes on his breath. “I thought I made it clear: I disappear, you leave me alone.”

 

Naruto gritted his teeth and exploded his hand upwards, breaking Sasuke’s hold on his collar. Taking advantage of the break in his defence, Naruto swiftly brought up his off hand to follow up. Planting his palm solidly on his sternum, Naruto knocked the other man backwards. The two faced each other, their eyes locked.

 

“I want to help you Sasuke.” Naruto growled, his eyes boring into Sasuke’s. “And I’m not afraid of you.”

 

Sasuke just smirked, sizing Naruto up. Naruto shivered as he felt the precision laser that was his gaze scanning his body, analysing. Sasuke’s left hand twitched: there!

 

As quick as he could, Naruto brought his right up to block, but it was a feint: instead of a punch, Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s wrist, pinning it to the brick. The long sleeve of his hoodie rode up, revealing his forearm. Sasuke paused, faltering for a second as his eyes wandered over Naruto’s arm.

 

Sasuke, Naruto knew, was looking at the large scar carved across his right arm. A thick line traced its way from his inner wrist to elbow, culminating in a large, discoloured swathe of skin.

 

“Compound fracture. Soft tissue loss. But I don’t need to tell you that: you were there.” Naruto laughed humourlessly. “So what you gonna do Sasuke? Break my arm again? Look at it; look at what you did the last time I tried to stop you.”

 

Naruto leaned in, his face once more just inches from Sasuke’s. “And know that I’d have you break my arm a thousand times before I let you go again.”

 

As it was the night before, Sasuke’s eyes only showed their vulnerability for half a second. But, once more, it was only a moment before they closed up behind the impenetrable shield.

 

“Don’t follow me again.”

 

And with that, Sasuke let him go and started walking out of the tunnel. Naruto slumped against the wall, preparing to push himself off it once again to follow Sasuke. A low buzzing stopped him. His phone.

 

Sasuke stopped briefly, tilting his head slightly. “You should meet her. Before she’s gone again.”

 

He resumed his slow walk out the tunnel. Naruto grabbed his phone: as Sasuke had deduced, it was Sakura. She was probably calling from the train station, ready to meet Naruto for one last coffee before she shipped off north again. Who knew how long it was going to be before he saw her again? But Sasuke, the man he felt so compelled to take care of was leaving once again, right before his eyes. Naruto smashed his hand off the smooth brick, glaring at the other man. “This isn’t over, Sasuke! I don’t care if you don’t want my help, I never abandon my friends!”

 

“We haven’t been friends for a long time, Naruto.”

 

And then he was gone.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Sakura absent-mindedly stirred sugar into her coffee, bleary eyes staring at the table in front of her, mind lost in the endless echoing of the busy train station. She jumped as Naruto fell into the seat across from her, panting. Evidently he had run here.

 

“Holy crap. And I thought I looked dead this morning.” Sakura said bluntly. She paused, frowning, and leaned forward to pick something out of Naruto’s hair. “Is this glass? What the hell happened to you?”

 

“Erm, maybe, yeah.” Naruto let out a big sigh, his breath coming back to him. “It’s been a fucking weird night. I’m gonna need a coffee.”

 

Managing to give the barista a short, thin lipped smile, Naruto plonked himself down once more in front of Sakura. Taking a big gulp of the steaming drink, he tried to settle the knots in his stomach.

 

“Okay, so just after I dropped you off at the hotel I see some guys beating the shit out of this dude in one of the tunnels on the way home. I rush in to help him out, and… it was Sasuke.”

 

Sakura, her coffee halfway to her lips, almost dropped it all over herself. “Sasuke? Our Sasuke?” She exhaled, one hand rubbing her forehead. “What happened? Who’s even strong enough to pick a fight with him for that matter? I mean you’re plenty strong, and…” Her eyes flickered down to Naruto’s arm, still exposed. He quickly rolled his sleeve back down, not meeting her eye.

“I’m sorry Naruto, I didn’t mean-”

 

“It’s fine.” He cut in, looking at her again. “And you’re right. But Sasuke’s a mess. I convinced him to have a drink with me, but he was all cryptic about what he’s been doing the last three years. Asked plenty of questions though. Weird ones too.”

 

Sakura frowned. “What kind of questions?”

  
“Just not what I’d have expected him to ask. Like he asks about me and Hinata, why we broke up, what people used to say about him school and…” Naruto blushed, remembering the disastrous first question. “Other stuff like that. All I really got out of him was that he still regularly trains in a ton of martial arts. But I asked the bartender about him.” Naruto leant in conspirituality. “Apparently he picks fights with people, then comes back in half dead almost every time. They beat the crap out of him. But Sasuke’s as strong as ever: I got a little taste of that this morning.”

 

At Sakura’s look of confusion, Naruto realised he’d only told half a story. “So Sasuke drinks about half a bottle of whisky and all but passes out. I took him to mine to crash, and the next morning he attempts to sneak out. I try and get his number, something so we can meet up again, but he refuses: he was planning to just walk out of my life again. So I try to stop him… and he flips me over my kitchen counter.”

 

Sakura’s hands went to her mouth as she gasped. “Oh my God! Are you okay?”

 

Naruto waved her concern off. “Yeah yeah, hit my hip, glass in my foot, but I’m good.”

 

“Make sure you get that foot looked at. If I had any of my stuff with me I’d do it myself.” She sighed. “So I guess that was him gone then?”

 

“Well, not quite…”

 

Sakura groaned. “Oh God Naruto, don’t tell me you followed him?”

 

Looking sheepish, Naruto nodded. “I couldn’t just let him go.”

 

She threw her arms up in exasperation, almost upsetting her coffee once again. “Jesus Naruto, what were you thinking? You know better than anyone how dangerous Sasuke is!”

 

“I know, it was stupid. But I had to know where he was going.”

 

Sakura sat there for a second. “…well? What happened?”

 

“So he goes towards the town centre, then turns off south. He picks up a package from some weird white haired guy, heads off again. He realised I’d followed him though. It almost came to blows, then he saw the scar: I think it shocked him. I snapped, said some… choice things. And then you called.” Naruto shrugged. “It was either between keep trying to follow Sasuke or meet you. And I don’t know when I’m gonna next see you. Hell, it could be another three years. So I got here as quick as I could.”

 

Sakura’s expression softened, and she lowered her eyes. “Thank you, Naruto. I appreciate you coming here instead.” She stared into her coffee; it looked like she was working up to saying something. “Naruto, could I… could I see your arm?”

 

Naruto frowned. “Why?”

 

Sakura finally looked at him, a strange expression on her face. “I want to see how it’s healed, and… well I haven’t seen it before. I only ever heard about how bad it was, and you usually keep it covered. Please?”

 

Naruto sighed, rolled up his sleeve and placed his arm on the table. He flinched as Sakura’s gentle fingertips gently brushed the large track that started on his wrist. She worked her way down, slowly, applying slight pressure every so often, until got to the large patch of different skin.

 

Sakura gulped. “And this is where-”

 

“-where my bone broke through my skin, yeah.” Naruto interrupted, staring sullenly at the table, avoiding both Sakura and his arm. “It carved out so much meat they needed to take more out of me just to close it.”

 

She nodded, immersed in her examination. “Free flap coverage surgery using tissue from…?”

 

“My back.”

 

Sakura nodded again, her fingers brushing the edge of the wound. “Well it seems to have healed nicely. How does it feel?”

  
“Sore.”

 

Naruto grimaced and suddenly yanked his arm back. Shaking his sleeve down once again, he picked up the coffee cup, just for something to do with his hands. “I’m sorry Sakura. I don’t like people touching it. I don’t even like looking at it.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just a reminder, you know?”

 

Sakura smiled, but there was a sad edge to it. “Thank you Naruto. I know you’re on the mend, and it’s healing properly. You’ll be back to your old strength in no time!”

 

Naruto forced a smile back, but it felt hollow. The awkward moment was broken when Sakura jumped up, having seen a schedule board over Naruto’s shoulder. “Crap! My train’s in!”

 

Naruto stood as she hurriedly grabbed her coat and bag. They almost ran to the platform, abandoning their half-finished coffee. As they reached it, Sakura turned and gave Naruto a large hug.

 

“Take care of yourself Naruto. You need to talk, you call me. Okay?”

 

Naruto smiled more genuinely as he hugged her back. “Same goes to you. Don’t get buried under all your work, and come back soon!”

 

Sakura pulled away and hopped on the train, calling back over her shoulder. “No promises! See you later!”

 

Naruto watched her train pull away, the knot still tight inside his stomach.

 

_As soon as we were all together again, we’ve been pulled apart…_

Putting his hands in his pockets, Naruto made a start on the long and painful journey home.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

The door of his flat slammed shut with a heavy thud, rattling the green painted frame. Naruto trudged to the fridge, cursing when he trod on broken china once more; luckily he was wearing shoes this time. Gingerly stepping around what used to be his dinnerware, he grabbed a can of coke, wearily kicking a piece of glass against the wall.

 

Sitting on the arm of his couch, Naruto precariously balanced the can on the edge of an already-crowded coffee table. Cautiously peeling the shoe off his injured foot, Naruto grimaced as the coagulated blood cracked, opening the wound again. He glanced briefly into the bloody shoe, making a face as he threw it towards the open washing machine, followed by the other for good measure. The first landed perfectly, spinning the drum on impact; the second bounced off the open door, somehow landing in the sink. Naruto didn’t know whether to laugh or cry: the rest of his kitchen was such a state, what did a shoe in his sink matter?

 

He inspected the bottom of his foot: the cut was bloody, but wasn’t too deep. He hopped to the bathroom, pulling the under-sink cabinet open to grab his first aid kit. Weighing the choice between bandages and plasters, he tried to make a decision quickly before he bled all over the floor.

 

After tying up the bandage, Naruto tested his weight on the foot. It was slightly uncomfortable, but he could tolerate it. Padding back through to the living room, he slipped on another pair of shoes: he wasn’t taking any more chances with his feet.

 

Retrieving the lost shoe from the sink, Naruto got to work cleaning up the mess Sasuke had caused. He saved as many plates, bowls and glasses as he could, but most had to be swept up and binned. As he worked he tried to keep his mind as blank as possible. But, try as he might, Naruto’s thoughts kept turning back to Sasuke. Where was he now? What was in that package? And, most importantly, what sort of demons was he running from to be in such bad shape?

 

Shaking his head, Naruto tried to concentrate solely on the task at hand. Sweep, bin, repeat. Sweep, bin, repeat. But it was no use: questions, doubts and contradictions all paraded through his head on full speed. Growling in frustration, he felt like launching what remained of his crockery into the wall.

 

_Exhale. Breath. Find your centre, the core of your being, and immerse yourself in its calm flow…_

Naruto slowed his breathing, feeling slightly more at peace: the exercises Jiraiya had taught him to control his temper had worked wonders over the last few years. Though he might get worked up every so often, it had been quite a while since the last “incident” had occurred.

 

But with Sasuke in that tunnel, he had come far too close.

 

Putting that ugly thought out of his mind, more successfully than those of Sasuke, he swept up the last of the broken dishes. Checking the counter and cupboards, he did a quick head count: until he bought more to replace what had been smashed, Naruto now had two glasses, one bowl and four plates to work with.

 

Naruto grinned ruefully. “If anything,” he said to no one in particular, “this should teach me to do the dishes more often.”

 

Kicking his shoes off under the coffee table, Naruto returned to the couch and his drink. Although it was nearly lunch, he didn’t feel very hungry. Wondering how he should spend the few free hours of Saturday he had, Naruto contemplated the choices. Nothing seemed very enticing, so he ended up with his go-to time waster: video games. Booting up the console he chose a no-brain shooter, hoping to lose himself in some thoughtless action for a while.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Several hours later, Naruto was jolted from his daze of pixelated violence by an alarm on his phone: it was time to get ready for his training session that night. He considered calling Jiraiya to cancel, having injured his foot and all, but something stopped him. It was the way Sasuke had looked at him as he’d so easily incapacitated him, in his own home no less. In a flash of inspiration, Naruto knew what he had to do.

 

Finishing up his session on the Xbox, he jumped up and headed to the bathroom. He had – he checked his phone – thirty minutes before he had to leave. Stripping off as he went, Naruto leaned into the small cuboid that was his shower and switched it on. Letting it heat up, he finished disrobing, throwing his clothes into the living room. He unwrapped the bandage around his foot, which seemed to be doing its job pretty well. As long as he padded it properly he wouldn’t have a problem at the training hall. He caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror as he disposed of the soiled bandage. Usually he’d pay his reflection no mind, but today it caught his attention.

 

Sakura was right: he looked pretty rough. His shaggy blond hair, usually slightly dishevelled, was a complete mess. His eyes, too, weren’t quite as bright as they usually were. He blamed lack of sleep for that.

 

Still, it wasn’t all bad: the birthmarks on his cheeks had started to become a bit less noticeable recently, the curiously sharp lines fading over the years. Kids he went to school with had always teased him about it, saying they looked like whiskers. The intensive training he’d been doing with Jiraiya had also paid off: as well as his martial arts skills, it had also honed his physique. Where once he had been skinny, he had now developed some muscle. His shoulders had broadened, and he was pretty sure he had the beginnings of abs showing through his stomach… if he breathed in hard enough. It had taken a long time, but after what had happened to his arm he’d worked hard at returning it to its full strength.

 

_But it’s not enough. Maybe if he hadn’t almost killed me I might be even close to where he is…_

He turned his arm so he could see the scar in his naked reflection. It just looked wrong. It felt wrong _._ It was a constant reminder of his biggest failing: the promise he had broken, and the friend he had let down when they needed him the most.

 

As he stared, lost in his own thoughts, the mirror slowly started fogging up from the corners in. It snapped Naruto out of his daze when it started encroaching on his field of vision.

 

He couldn’t let the past stop him from moving forward. And he knew exactly what to do to make that happen.

 

He paused before getting in the shower, drawing a quick smiley face in the condensation. Even that small act of positivity made him feel infinitely more hopefully about the Hell he was about to put himself through.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto attends his regular training sessions, and prepares to ask Jiraiya for a favour; even after all these years, he still has new things to teach Naruto, and haunting stories to tell.

Chapter 4:

 

Twenty five minutes later Naruto, naked, sprinted through his flat spouting a plethora of curse words. As per usual he had taken far too long in the shower, and now had five minutes to leave the flat if he wanted to catch the bus. Throwing on the first set of boxers he could find, he frantically searched for a clean pair of socks. He got one on before realising the wound in his foot had re-opened in the shower. Leaving another half-set of bloody footprints as he ran back to the bathroom, Naruto madly wrapped another bandage around his foot, giving himself extra padding: it was going to be a pretty rough night for the poor thing. Throwing on his other sock, his club’s trousers, a long-sleeved compression shirt and a hoodie, Naruto stopped just short of the door, realising he hadn’t eaten all day. Grabbing an apple and a bag containing the rest of his gear, he barrelled out the door with it in his mouth, jumping down the stairs.

 

Just managing to make his bus, Naruto quickly finished off his meal. A short journey later, he found himself at the gym they used for kickboxing training. Arriving just as the doors for their class opened, he fell into step with the other students, bowing as he entered the room. As everyone got set up, Naruto approached the class instructor, Kakashi, sitting up front on the wooden benches that lined the room’s walls. He smiled over the book he was reading at Naruto as he approached. At least Naruto thought he smiled, his eyes wrinkled slightly at the corners.

 

Kakashi Hatake was a rather peculiar man. People didn’t usually know what to ask about first: his mismatched eyes, one with a large scar running over it, or the face mask he was never seen without. Rumour was that he had been involved in an accident when he was younger, and was badly hurt. They said he had managed to get a corneal transplant, but couldn’t do anything about the horrible scars on his lower face. Apparently they were serious enough that he had to wear a mask to stop people staring. If there was any truth to that, Kakashi wouldn’t say; his silence, combined with his reputation as an extremely skilled martial artist, led to even wilder rumours of course. Naruto’s favourite was that he was ex-special forces.

 

Either way, it amounted to the same thing: Kakashi Hatake always wore a strange vest that extended up his neck and covered his face. But despite his somewhat odd appearance he was a very kind, fair man.

 

He scratched his head through bushy silver hair as he put his book down. “Hello Naruto, what can I do for you?”

 

“Hey, just letting you know I hurt my foot earlier today. I strapped it up pretty good, but I might not be quite as quick on my feet today.”

 

Kakashi’s eyes took on an evil gleam. “Don’t expect me to go easy on you.”

 

“Of course not, Sir,” Naruto laughed as he walked away.

 

Laying his bag out where there was space on the bench, Naruto pulled out his wraps, kicking his shoes off as he twisted the blue fabric around his wrists and hands. Checking they were nice and tight, he managed to grab a quick drink of water before Kakashi called them to the floor.

 

“Okay guys, form up!”

 

“Sir!” Came the unanimous reply.

 

The next thirty minutes would be an unrelenting onslaught of warm up exercises and stretches, designed to make sure their bodies were in top form for the actual training. As they organised themselves into rows, four apiece, Naruto looked around for the familiar faces: a few years ago Naruto had managed to convince most of his friends to at least try kickboxing. Kiba had really enjoyed it, but had only come for a few months before he had to buckle down and improve his grades to get into college. Shikamaru still came every so often, but between his Uni work and that God-awful laziness it was a rare occurrence. He couldn’t see either of them here, but he did spot a few newcomers.

 

Anyone new generally had one of two vibes about them. The first was always nervous or shy, but not too long into the session the overall friendliness of the class would usually make them feel more relaxed. The second, usually in a group, would be oh-so-overconfident; if the extreme warm-up didn’t wipe the grin from their faces, the unrelenting pad work would. Judging from the disproportionate amount of high-fives they kept giving each other, this was the latter. A shame, as it was the former that usually became regular members.

 

Kakashi led the group into an on-the-spot jog, his strong voice carrying across the hall despite the mask. “So I see we have some new people here tonight, always good. The rule here is try and keep up as best you can: if I say twenty press-ups, you do as many as you can in the time it takes me to complete it. I don’t care how many you do, as long as you do your best. Greg knows what I’m talking about.”

 

Everyone laughed as they remembered that: his third session, Greg had thought he could get away with half-arsing his squats. Kakashi had him do fifty laps around the hall singing the national anthem.

 

Greg, jogging beside Naruto, grinned ruefully. “Thank you Sir, it was… enlightening.” He shouted back.

 

“Let’s just say he didn’t make the same mistake twice. Push-ups! Twenty!”

 

Naruto quickly dropped into the push-up position, trying as hard as he could to match Kakashi’s pace. He came just short – eighteen – before springing up again, resuming the jog. Sit-ups were next, then jumping jacks. His bandaged foot was slightly slippery on the wooden floor, but after a few miss-steps he seemed to find his balance.

 

Kakashi kicked it up a notch pretty quickly after that. “Mountain climbers, one minute!”

 

Naruto groaned internally as he got on his hands once more. Both his foot and arm twinged as he brought his legs up to his stomach in a cycling motion, trying to maintain the difficult pace Kakashi was setting. Looking back, he could see some of the newcomers were already exhausted, no longer quite so gung ho. This delicious schadenfreude spurred him on to complete the set, matching Kakashi.

 

This continued in a similar fashion for quite some time before the stretches started. If anything, Naruto found these harder than the warm-ups: yoga was hard enough in the first place, but anything that involved him standing still for more than 3 seconds was even worse for him.

 

By this point everyone’s blood was thoroughly pumping. Even Kakashi had a thin film of sweat covering his brow and arms. Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, he went into the first stretch, gradually making it more difficult. After going through a variety of poses, they were told to stand with their arms out. At first it would seem rather easy… until you realised you would be here for four or five minutes and Kakashi was going past everyone, applying pressure on your arms to see if you’d fold.

 

He started at the back, with the newer students; as expected, most of them succumbed to him. The one that didn’t had to drop his arms half a minute later, wincing. Eventually Kakashi made his way to Naruto, placing a hand on each forearm. The force never came all at once: no, Kakashi slowly increased it, seeing how much punishment you could take. Naruto grinned, determined as always to prove his worth.  As the pressure seemed to reach a peak on his right arm, it continued growing in his left.

 

It took Naruto a second to realise what was happening. “Don’t even think of letting me off easy Kakashi.” He whispered, turning his head so he could see his instructor out the corner of his eye. Kakashi said nothing, but soon both arms were fighting equal force. His right wavered slightly, but he managed to hold out. Naruto winced as Kakashi clapped him on the shoulder before going: he was sure that was deliberate too.

 

Soon after that they stopped for a quick break. Naruto took a few sips of water, mopping his brow with a towel; he’d learned the hard way that you were going to sweat a hell of a lot. He glanced over at the newcomers, greedily gulping down water as they collapsed on the benches. He hadn’t been so different when he’d first started either.

 

After a minute or two, Kakashi strode to the front once more, dragging a large bag behind him. “Grab your pads and gloves: we’re gonna start on technique work for our new friends, then some sparring. Naruto, would you be able to help these guys start out?”

 

Naruto nodded, walking to the front with the others and retrieving a set of pads. Kakashi squatted next to him as he rummaged in the large bag to find a good pair. “These guys might give you a little attitude. Think you can handle it okay?”

 

Naruto grinned, finally fishing a matching pad from the innards of the bag. “Well I managed to get Konohamaru in line, didn’t I?” He glanced back at the boy in question, waiting patiently in line for a set of pads. As one of the regulars, Kakashi often put Naruto in charge of looking after the new students, and Konohamaru was a piece of work. It took a while but eventually he came around, and in a way Naruto thought of him as the little brother he’d never had.

 

Making his way over to the five new students, he introduced himself. “Hey guys, I’m Naruto: split into pairs, one get a pair of gloves and one get pads. Whoever’s left gets gloves, they’ll be with me.” He gestured with his own set over his shoulder. They joined the queue, arguing about ‘who was gonna get to punch first.’

 

When they finally made their way back, Naruto told them how they operated their exercises. “So Kakashi’s gonna demonstrate a combination, then give us time to practice it. I’ll explain all the moves, and how the pad holder should move to block them. Cool?”

 

They all mumbled their assent and watched Kakashi’s demonstration, a simple pattern composed of three punches and a kick. Naruto slowed down each action – right straight, left straight, right hook, roundhouse kick – showing them each precise movement and explaining that accuracy would always be better than strength. He also showed the pad-holders the positions required for blocking, greeted with much less enthusiasm than the previous explanation.

 

Naruto’s partner squared up to him in preparation for their first run-through. His hair was, in a word, lopsided. His bangs seemed to loop round his head in a kind of wave, being longest on his right and shortest on the left. It was rather odd, but seemed too deliberate to be an accident. Naruto wasn’t one to judge, but it just screamed ‘angsty teen.’

 

He seemed rather disdainful that they didn’t have someone older show them the ropes, despite the fact that they appeared to be the same age. It didn’t bother Naruto: proving people wrong was what he lived for.

 

The man’s thin eyebrows furrowed as he moved forward, throwing a hard straight to the pad right of Naruto’s head. The glove slammed into it, knocking Naruto’s hand back despite his tensing. It was a classic rookie mistake: put as much power as possible into the pads, prove how tough you are.

 

Finishing the set, Naruto frowned. “Okay, not bad. Less power next time though, work on your accuracy.”

 

They tried again, the man not even attempting to temper his strength as he worked through the simple routine. Expecting it slightly more, Naruto was able to keep the pads level. On the last kick he missed the pad, his overlong toenails scratching Naruto’s arm slightly.

 

“Watch those feet: accuracy, remember?” Naruto shook his head, trying to be as diplomatic as possible. “Swap over with one of your friends so I can give them pointers too.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Now a few patterns down, Naruto was beginning to feel more confident in his new charges. Most of them were quite level-headed: after a few instructions their form began to improve, the punches and kicks becoming more consistent. There still remained one problem student, however. Naruto spotted him stalking off to the side to get a drink, leaving the pad-holder he was paired with rubbing a sore arm.

 

Naruto took this opportunity to ask his current partner about it. “Your friend,” he said, gesturing with his head. “Is he always like this?”

 

He didn’t seem particularly surprised by the question. “Sora? Yeah, kinda: he’s not a bad guy, just always has something to prove, you know? And he used to do boxing when he was younger, so he’s convinced he knows everything about this already.”

 

Naruto nodded: he knew the type. “Got to make him respect me, yeah? If I had a penny…”

 

Kakashi interrupted his thoughts as he announced the next pattern. This one was more complicated: the pattern was concluded with a spinning heel kick, a move that required accuracy and balance to properly attempt.

 

Much to the relief of Naruto’s group, and some more of the newer members, Kakashi had them in mind too. “Anyone that doesn’t feel confident enough with that last kick can finish with a right side kick.” He showed the pattern again with this alternate ending.

 

As Naruto turned back to his group he caught an earful from the problem student, Sora. “This is bullshit, I shouldn’t have to take myself down a level just cause these guys aren’t as experienced as me.” He flicked a stray lock of sweaty black hair out of his eyes, only to have it fall back in place. “I’m doing the first one.”

 

Naruto, exasperated, tried to remember that he was very similar when he first started. There may be hope for him yet.

 

_Then again I was fifteen, not twenty…_

“Fine,” Naruto said slowly, weighing up the problem: he didn’t look like he was going to relent, and that kick could hurt one of the holders if he wasn’t careful. “I’d recommend you start slow, but I’ll let you have a shot at it.”

 

After showing the rest how to block the side kick, Naruto took Sora to run through the more advanced combination. He broke the kick down into steps: plant your supporting leg across your body, bring the attacking leg up, then wheel around for the kick. Balancing carefully, Naruto brought his right leg up behind him, bent at the knee. Pivoting on the ball of his left foot he swung his right, heel first, his torso bending towards the floor. It was a powerful kick if you could get it right: the spin generated a lot of acceleration, slamming the heel into your target. You could even increase the power by hooking your leg back as it connected, or use it as a follow-up move to a missed roundhouse.

 

As expected, Sora wasn’t ready: on his first attempt he missed completely, and his second barely connected. The other parts of the combination were all sloppy and far too powerful, and he clearly wasn’t happy about his failings: a deep frown was etched on his forehead, something Jiraiya would’ve described as a “face like thunder.”

 

Trying to be fair, Naruto decided to give him another chance. “I’ll give you one more try, then you’ve got to do the first pattern with everyone else.”

 

Sora didn’t answer, but his scowl seemed to thicken slightly. He launched into the combination again, his punches harder if anything. Naruto brought the left pad up for the spinning kick, but Sora was far too low: as he came round, the kick made contact with Naruto’s hip.

 

It was another messy kick, his ankle rather than heel wheeling round and landing straight on the bone. Usually a kick that weak wouldn’t be much of a problem, but it connected with the same side he’d landed on when Sasuke had thrown him across his kitchen.

 

Sucking in air through gritted teeth, Naruto resisted the urge to yell. “Yeah, you’re definitely not ready for that. Master the basics first man, then you can-”

 

Rather than apologising, Sora cut Naruto off, his voice rising. “Fuck that! I’m not gonna let some stupid kid boss me around.”

 

“Is there a problem here?” Kakashi asked, seemingly materialising behind him.

 

“No sir,” Naruto said, eyeing Sora hard. “Just a small misunderstanding.”

 

Sora got the message, keeping quiet. Kakashi wasn’t an idiot: Naruto knew he kept an extremely sharp eye on all new students, and he could see exactly what was going on. His intervention was a chance for Naruto to abdicate the task he’d been given.

 

_Giving up, in other words. Yeah right!_

He swore he saw a hint of a smile behind that mask. “Glad you could work it out.”

 

As he turned to leave, Kakashi gave Sora a sidelong glance. “Just so you’re aware, Naruto is one of my strongest students. You’ll want to pick up any advice he gives you.”

 

His disbelief palpable, Sora nonetheless swapped with another student and started practicing the easier routine. Satisfied that he was pacified, at least for now, Naruto focused on the other students.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“Now you’re just trying to insult me! I mean what the hell is this?”

 

Naruto groaned: Sora had behaved himself so well up until this point. They had finished more combinations without any fuss, his temper seemingly quelled. Of course that was thrown out the window when Kakashi told him that his sparring partner was going to be Konohamaru.

 

“It’s ridiculous!” Sora continued, having finally snapped. “The first kid was bad enough, now this!”

 

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Konohamaru shouted back, just as angry.

 

Kakashi held up a hand; Konohamaru knew well enough to back off. “You’re lucky I’m letting you spar at all. It’s only because you already have a boxing license and gear. And really I’m giving you credit: Konohamaru has been a student here for years. Yes, he’s only sixteen, but he’ll have to fight at a significantly lower level.”

 

“As if! I can’t fight a child, this is stupid.”

 

Konohamaru broke his silence once more. “I’m not a child! Come on, I’ll kick your ass!”

 

“Konohamaru, that’s enough.” Kakashi interjected once more, a dangerous glint in his eye. “You want someone your own size? Fine. Naruto?”

 

“Ohhh!” Konohamaru crowed, face lighting up. “This is gonna be good!”

 

Naruto grinned as more of the class laughed. “Well, if you insist sir…”

 

They walked over to their respective bags, donning their sparring gear. Naruto had to stifle a grin at Sora’s face when he saw Naruto’s kit. Most schools used sparring equipment, but Kakashi’s motif was less is more. The less padding used, the better you could control your power and condition your body to take hits. All Naruto had was a gum-shield and his regular gloves; Sora was decked out in full gear, head protector, special sparring gloves and matching leg protectors that covered his shins and feet.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m wearing a cup under here.” Naruto laughed, tapping the groin guard through the baggy trousers. Sora blushed as the rest of them laughed, Konohamaru particularly loudly.

 

Kakashi threw Naruto a pair of the same leg protectors that Sora was wearing. “I know we don’t usually use these, but it might be a good idea today.”

 

Now fully geared up, Naruto entered what constituted as the ring: a square painted on the floor, one of several in the hall. While Sora had looked slightly intimidated at Naruto’s lack of sparring kit, he had now regained his composure into that familiar frown.

 

Kakashi strolled up to the edge of the ring, hands in his pockets. “Okay, you’ve done this before so you know the rules. Hands and feet only, clean hits. Begin!”

 

Naruto was bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, prepared to match any move Sora made. Sora, however, didn’t seemed to want to wait and size him up: he launched forward, surprisingly fast, and swung a hook at his face. Naruto ducked it easily, circling to the right and landing a light jab at Sora’s exposed ribs, more of a playful tap than anything significant. It served two purposes: the first was to let Sora know he’d left a large area exposed with his over-eager swing.

 

The second was to piss him off.

 

It seemed to work: as Naruto hopped backwards Sora moved with him, surprising him slightly with a straight punch. Naruto blocked, slapping the speeding limb out of the way with his right hand. Sora quickly followed with a left jab to the body, easily side-stepped. When that failed, he tried a strong uppercut. Naruto hopped backwards once more, but felt the hiss of air as it swung past him.

 

He could see Sora getting more and more frustrated, his blows becoming more erratic and sloppy. For the most part Naruto dodged, only throwing in a small punch or a kick to stoke Sora’s exasperation. The goal, Naruto knew, was to show Sora how out of his league he was. When he calmed down, Naruto would either have his respect or be down one pupil.

 

Sora, however, showed no signs of relenting. Missing a right straight, he thrust his elbow down, catching Naruto on the hip once more as he twisted away from the unexpected – and illegal – move. And Sora knew, as well: the self-satisfied grin told Naruto all he needed to know.

 

This was getting out of hand. He had to end it soon.

 

Naruto nipped back a few paces, his side still stinging. He could tell there was going to be a rather large bruise tomorrow. Catching Kakashi’s eye, Naruto subtly shook his head. He knew Kakashi would be thinking about ending the match soon, and he wanted an opportunity to show Sora what he was really made of.

 

Sora came running in again, throwing a feint up with his right before ducking down to make a stab at his hip again. Having worked out it was Naruto’s weak point, he seemed to want to try and exploit it as much as possible.

 

_And it might have worked, too…_

Naruto hopped backwards once more, but as soon as his foot landed he sprang forwards. Taking advantage of Sora’s completely open defence, he launched into a brutal, yet simple combination.

 

His fist moved with blistering speed, smacking dead centre in the middle of Sora’s face. A left hook then caught his jaw, following the straight. Naruto kept the offensive up as Sora stumbled backwards, disorientated: two right roundhouses followed, the first smashing into his ribs, the second getting the side of his head.

 

_And now for the grand finale…_

Naruto slammed his right leg down, placing it across his body. Bringing the left up behind him, he swung it round in one fluid motion, completing the spinning heel kick. The satisfaction when he felt his heel strike Sora’s head was only matched when he completed the spin to see him crash into the ground.

 

A few people cheered as Naruto bowed at Sora. He threw his gloves off and wandered over to the other man, extending a hand to help him up. Sora seemed to debate for a second before giving a grudging smile and accepting it.

 

Getting shakily to his feet, Sora bowed back, spitting his gum-shield out. “I guess I deserved that: you really know your stuff.” He rubbed his jaw, wincing slightly. “I’m glad I had the helmet.”

 

As the students dispersed to start their own matches, Naruto made his way to the benches to grab a drink. As he turned, he heard Kakashi confiding in Sora.

“If you think that’s bad, you should feel his proper hits. Ready to get back to work?”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“And… exhale.”

 

Naruto breathed out, a long stream of air leaving his lungs. He straightened up as Kakashi did, finishing their cool-down routine. The rest of the session passed without further incident: Sora sparred with Konohamaru, seeming to take their pointers to heart, and Naruto worked with some of the more advanced students.

 

Kakashi clapped his hands together, stretching his neck out. “Okay, good session tonight guys. Some important lessons learned today, I think.”

 

Naruto grinned, glancing back at Sora with the rest of his friends. He looked rather sheepish, scratching his jaw as a few people smirked in his direction. For him, and the rest of the class, it was time to head home and relax; for Naruto, his training was only half over.

Wiping sweat from his forehead, Naruto gathered his stuff and prepared to leave. Throwing a quick wave at Kakashi, he bowed and left the hall, preparing to wait at the entrance for Jiraiya to show up. But this time he didn’t have any waiting to do: Jiraiya was already there. And from his stern expression, Naruto deduced he had something important to say.

 

Jiraiya initially cast an imposing stature, his height and broad shoulders making him an intimidating figure. The bushy white hair, tied back but still untameable, made him look like one of the Kung Fu masters you’d see in an old movie. Of course, that impression was usually dispelled as soon as you came to his face: he usually wore a wide smile on his slightly weathered features. Sometimes it was quietly confident, but most of the time it was downright silly. Naruto loved the positivity and patience he seemed to exude, it never failed to be infectious. Today, however, he was uncharacteristically stoic.

 

_This spells trouble…_

“Naruto,” he said with a short nod.

 

Naruto gulped, trying to be nonchalant with his tentative reply. “Hey Jiraiya, how’s it going?”

 

“Walk with me.”

 

_Yep. I’ve fucked up._

He hoisted his bag further up his shoulder and fell into pace with his teacher. As they walked in silence, Naruto tried to figure out what he could possibly have done to evoke Jiraiya’s ire. Could something have happened at work? Jiraiya had been nice enough to secure him a job at his publishing firm, a roof to sleep under, and everything he’d needed to be where he was today. He didn’t want to repay that kindness with screw-ups.

 

“So, eh…” Naruto began awkwardly, not exactly sure how to put his discomfort into words. “Is everything okay?”

 

Jiraiya had a strange look in his eye. He scratched the side of his long, thin nose for a second before replying. “I don’t know, you tell me. Is everything okay?”

 

Naruto racked his brain, but for the life of him couldn’t think of anything. “I’m not sure…” he said slowly. “If I’ve done something wrong, I’m not sure what it is.”

 

“Okay, let me jog your memory: your first little sparring match tonight. Anything?”

 

“Wait, you saw that?” Naruto frowned: one of these days he was going to actually notice Jiraiya observing the class from the balcony. “I just gave that punk a lesson in respect. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”

 

“Have you learned anything in the four years I’ve been training you?” Jiraiya groaned, finally looking at him. “You didn’t just beat that kid, you destroyed him. And you enjoyed it, too.”

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“-no buts. I’ve taught you better than that.” He sighed, pushing one of the thick white bangs out of his face; the wind was getting quite fierce, blowing through the high streets. “Maybe I’m being a bit too harsh. Let me explain when we’re inside.”

 

They reached their destination: Sasuke and Itachi’s old training area.

 

When their parents had died, Itachi had used their money to buy a flat in the city, and a small, disused hall nearby. He’d fixed it up, using it for their training. After Itachi disappeared, and Sasuke followed suit, one of the only things they’d found in the flat was a small envelope with Naruto’s name on it. Inside was a set of keys; the keys to this training hall.

 

It had taken a lot of time and fighting for Naruto to actually get the keys. First they were confiscated pending the investigation into Itachi. Then, when that turned up no leads, they had to call in a specialist to deduce that the writing was Sasuke’s (something, Naruto had grumbled, he could have told them). Then, of course, there was Sasuke’s assault of Naruto: he’d maintained that he was mugged, even though he was pretty sure the police didn’t really care. Finally, after several more months, the keys were released back to Naruto.

 

He pulled open the door, leading Jiraiya inside. The walls and ceiling were simple panelling, making the room feel sparse. The real money was spent on the sparring area’s floor: Itachi had sprung for Japanese Cedar, the traditional wood used for dojo flooring. Whatever it had cost it was worth it, as it wasn’t too hard and had exactly the right level of slide needed.

 

Throwing his bag at the side, Naruto sat and looked expectantly at Jiraiya. He was taking his time, hanging up the red jacket he always seemed to wear and removing his shoes. He sat opposite Naruto, cross-legged, and seemed to relax slightly.

 

“Okay, so I’ve told you multiple times that we don’t wanna use your anger for fighting, right? I mean that’s a general rule, but your anger in particular is something you need to keep in check.”

 

Naruto squirmed in place, looking away for a second: he didn’t like to be reminded of that. “But I wasn’t angry. Maybe slightly ticked off, yeah, but-”

 

“-let me finish.” Jiraiya interrupted, but not unkindly. “You weren’t angry, no. But you were vindictive. That sort of spitefulness is also something you want to avoid: it can make you do horrible things to people. Admit it, you could have achieved exactly the same thing without almost knocking him out.”

 

Jiraiya’s eyes softened slightly. “Have I told you why I don’t interact with the rest of the martial arts community, Naruto?”

 

Naruto shook his head, not wanting to interrupt his teacher a second time.

 

“I didn’t think so. Well, how to put this… not everyone uses the skills we learn for good purposes. The fighters – the proper fighters – are few and far between. Among them are Kakashi, myself, and you.” Jiraiya laughed at the dumbfounded expression on Naruto’s face. “You shouldn’t be surprised: you’re one of Kakashi’s best, and of course you’re training with me, the Gallant Jiraiya.”

 

Jiraiya’s smile faded, and he turned more serious once again. “But there are some very strong people out there, people that can match Kakashi and I. And they aren’t training to better themselves. They train to better others, and extend their influence. I grew up here, and I trained with Hiruzen Sarotobi, one of the last old-school trainers here. You’ll know his grandson, Konohamaru.” He gave a brief grin at Naruto’s astonished look once again. “See, everything’s connected.”

 

“I wasn’t Hiruzen’s only student: groups of three used to be the standard amongst the traditionalists. I grew very close to both of them, but one of them had… problems. He’d lost his parents at a young age, and wanted nothing but power. Starting to sound familiar?

 

Jiraiya’s mouth was set in a grim, hard line. “It wasn’t long before this kid, someone I had grown up with, someone I loved, began to walk on the darker side of life. I made excuses, I turned a blind eye, but it was plain as day. It… it didn’t end well.”

 

Naruto lowered his head. “I’m sorry Jiraiya, I know how hard that is.”

 

Jiraiya waved his hand, dismissing Naruto’s platitudes. “Don’t be, it was a long time ago. So, as you know, one of my first students was your father. He was a prodigy, a once-in-a-generation talent, and a damn fine man. Losing him at such a young age, it had a deep impact on us all. That is something I’m truly sorry for.”

 

They sat in silence for a second, in respect of the father Naruto had never known. Of course it still hurt, but hearing Jiraiya praise him like that never failed to lift Naruto’s heart slightly.

 

“But this isn’t about Minato,” Jiraiya continued, standing up. He began their starting stretches, motioning for Naruto to join him.

 

He told Naruto about his next students, three orphans from a war-torn village he had met during his time in the army. He had stayed for a year – earning him a discharge from the service when he went AWOL – training them and helping to rebuild their village before leaving. But one of the three was particularly determined, vowing that one day he’d make his way to the city that Jiraiya had talked so fondly about.

 

Naruto was listening raptly as he stretched, the blood pumping thick and fast through his aching limbs once more. He wasn’t quite sure where this was going, but he knew there had to be a point.

 

“A few years ago I start catching rumours of some new player in town, a real strong guy. And they don’t play for a good team. I eventually got a name.”

Naruto raised his eyebrows in surprise as he arrived at the conclusion Jiraiya had led him to.

 

Jiraiya gave a grim nod. “Yeah, him too. For so many, the desire for power burns out all the good that used to be in them. I was crushed: I vowed never to take on any more students. As far as I was concerned, I’d failed as a teacher.”

 

Naruto straightened up, frowning. “So why did you take me on? This has to be before you’d met me, right?”

 

Jiraiya paused a moment before answering. “Well I never thought I would, if I’m honest. When Kakashi found out you were Minato’s kid he got in touch with me immediately. I’d been away for quite some time: I still love this place, but it’s changed over the years. But I got the call, figured it was time to come back. Just to see Minato’s son. Then I would be off on my merry way once more.” He dropped into the push-up position, Naruto following suit. He continued effortlessly, the exercise making no difference to him. “But what I saw changed that. You stayed behind after hours to nail that move Kakashi knew would stump you. Took you a while too. It reminded me a bit of your father, but the stubbornness? You got that from your mother.”

 

Naruto blushed, a warm glow seeming to settle in his stomach. He’d heard it before, but the comparison never failed to make him happy. They moved onto their backs for sit-ups.

 

“So,” Jiraiya went on, as if they were taking a gentle stroll. “I got to thinking. When I was younger, someone once told me that I’d teach people that would change the world. I don’t know what it is, but that always stuck with me.” He flashed one of his goofy smiles at Naruto. “What can I say, I’ve always been a sucker for destiny. It makes great books. Of course, with my track record for students and comrades I had all but given up on that idea. You made me want to believe in it again.”

 

“Which is why,” Jiraiya paused as he unexpectedly sprang to his feet. “I was so angry at you today.”

 

The smile dropped from Naruto’s face; with all the praise that had been coming his way he’d completely forgotten about his teacher’s anger.

 

“Both my old friend and my student took what they’d learned and used it to gain power for themselves at the expense of others. It’s a slippery slope: I know for a fact that both of them started it with the best intentions. But the path to Hell…”

 

“…is paved with good intentions. Yeah, I know.”

 

Jiraiya crossed his arms. “I said before, you’re one of the proper fighters: you don’t give up easily, and you only expect the best from yourself. Which means when you fight I expect you to keep a level head at all times, and not get carried away. With someone as driven as you are, it can have some nasty consequences. And that’s not even considering your anger problem.”

 

“But I’m stronger when I’m angry. It’s what got me so far in the first place!”

 

Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose, his exasperation clear. “No Naruto, it isn’t. Anger might make you hit harder, but it doesn’t make you stronger. Your determination’s what got you here, your ability to take every hit and keep on coming.” He looked Naruto in the eye, his gaze intense. “That’s what makes you strong.”

 

For a second Naruto was speechless. He almost believed it. But then it returned: the smugness written all over Sasuke’s face, the shame rising once more. But with it came the reason he had endured and attended training tonight. He took a deep breath.

 

“Jiraiya, thanks, but...” He hesitated, wanting to look away from Jiraiya’s piercing eyes. “But I’m not strong enough. I need to become more powerful, and I can’t make excuses any more.” The longer Naruto talked the more confident he got, determination smothering the trepidation. “I had to wait till they fixed me, and I had to rebuild all the strength I’d lost. Well I’ve done that now: I want to take the next step. I want you to properly train me, the most intense I can handle. I’m ready for it.”

 

Jiraiya looked taken aback for a second, but quickly regained his composure. “Something happened didn’t it?”

 

It was Naruto’s turn to look surprised: was it that obvious?

 

“And,” he continued, certainty etched in his face. “Since you don’t want to tell me, I’m going to take a leap and assume it was Sasuke. Am I wrong?”

 

Naruto thought about lying to him, considering Jiraiya’s feelings on the matter. _Although now I guess I know why he told me to give up on him: he’s gone through exactly the same thing,_ he thought.

 

But there wasn’t any point: Jiraiya knew him better than anyone. Besides, he had a terrible poker face, as Shikamaru was always so keen on pointing out. “Yeah, I ran into him. And he’s a wreck.”

 

“So you want to save him from himself? I guess he’s the reason you’re limping then? Yeah, I noticed. You still aren’t as subtle as you think you are.”

 

“He’s hurt, he’s alone and he’s not thinking straight.” Naruto could hear how weak the argument sounded, but he didn’t care.

 

“Right. And you were so successful in that endeavour last time.”

 

Naruto felt his face burning red. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve got to take him home, and I can’t do that if he’s still years ahead of me. Jiraiya, I started this so that people would respect me the way they respected Sasuke. But it’s different now.” Naruto put all the ferocity he could into the glare he aimed at his mentor. “I’ve got to be stronger so I can protect the people I care about.”

 

Jiraiya sighed and sat down once more, his legs crossed on the light wooden floor. “I’m not going to be able to convince you otherwise, am I?”

 

“I haven’t changed my mind: if abandoning a friend is what it means to be wise, I’d rather be a fool my whole life.”

 

Jiraiya smiled ruefully, shaking his head. “You really are an absolute knucklehead, aren’t you? Fine. Sit.”

 

Jiraiya pressed his fingertips together as Naruto cautiously sat opposite him. “Before we start, I need to be absolutely sure you know what you’re getting into. Instead of twice a week we’re going to alternate days. In addition to the mixture of arts I’m teaching you, I’m going to include things like balance, meditation and yoga. Yes yoga, don’t give me that look. At least half of it will be outdoors, no matter the weather: I’ve always preached the power of nature and living energy, and you’re going to have to appreciate that too. Think you can handle all of that?”

 

It sounded intimidating: Naruto was always wiped out after these double sessions of Kickboxing and Jiraiya’s lesson, much less hard training every other day.

 

Despite it all, Naruto’s face lit up in an enthusiastic smile. “Of course, I’m always up for a challenge!”

 

Jiraiya tried to supress a grudging smile: he was the same as ever. “Okay, we start next week: I want that foot to heal a bit before we commit to killing you. Now come on, we’ve slacked off long enough. Time to see if your throws have got any better.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

The green door of Naruto’s flat rattled the wall once again as he arrived home. Dropping his bag where he stood he staggered to bathroom, grunting as his muscles started to stiffen up. Now the adrenaline was gone he could feel every single bump, scrape and tear. His foot in particular was throbbing, but when he’d put his shoes on before leaving Sasuke’s training hall the bandage seemed to have held up.

 

He paused for a second, realising that he still referred to the hall as his friend’s. He shrugged: after all, he was only holding onto the keys until Sasuke got back. Shaking his head, Naruto continued his laboured trudge to the bathroom. Shower first, then he could philosophise.

 

The warm water soothed his aching muscles, slightly relaxing the tense knots in his shoulders. He rolled his head around, feeling the tight cords pull at his neck; he really ought to get a massage sometime.

 

Leaning a forearm on the cold wall, Naruto exhaled, enjoying the heat and vacant state of mind it brought. He couldn’t have said how long had passed before he decided he’d better leave. Towelling off his hair, he padded through the messy living room, almost slipping on a rouge t-shirt that had somehow escaped the laundry pile.

 

“‘Death by t-shirt,’” he mumbled to himself as he threw it back in its rightful corner. “That’d make a fine grave.”

 

He surveyed the room with tired eyes: the mound of unsorted washing blocking a closet in the corner, the vast collection of empty cans and rubbish on the coffee table, the dust building up in the carpet, complete with bloody footprints… it was a complete tip. He’d always been a bit of a slob, but this was getting ridiculous. If he was kicking his training into overdrive, Naruto decided he should start living a bit more cleanly. First he’d start with the mess, then maybe go onto his diet, and… Naruto jolted, blinking hard as his eyelids started to droop.

 

_Tomorrow. If I don’t head to bed now I might just collapse._

Hanging up his towel to dry, Naruto navigated over all the junk on his floor to reach his bedroom. He hadn’t been in since he’d put Sasuke to bed the night before: he was surprised to see his bed was perfectly made, the bright covers pulled taut across the mattress.

 

_Well that was polite of him. Up until he tried to throw me through a wall._

Naruto was tired enough that he considered sleeping in it as it was, but he supposed he had better change the sheets. As he stripped the cover off the duvet, he was very aware that they still smelled like Sasuke. It wasn’t very strong, but it was there: a little hint of something familiar underneath the smell of his own clothes. It didn’t seem to have changed much in the past three years, if a bit more smoky. It shouldn’t have, but it made the idea of leaving the bedding on more appealing.

 

Finally ready to sleep, Naruto crawled weakly into a freshly made bed. It didn’t take him long to drift off, wondering just where life was taking him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An surprise visit interrupts the quiet evening Naruto planned and as the night wears on, more and more is revealed about his friend's new life.

Chapter 5:

 

Naruto groaned as he reached for the television remote, just an inch or two out of reach; he hurt all over.

 

He was two weeks into Jiraiya’s extreme training, and it was safe to say he’d never done anything nearly as intense. In addition to his kickboxing with Kakashi and his regular mixed training with Jiraiya, he was outside doing yoga and balancing exercises. It was the latter that required the most work: he could see why a lot of top athletes swore by yoga.

 

The worst of it was probably the stiffness in his abs: they were drawn tight, feeling like they’d tear at the slightest provocation. He sighed, sinking back into the cushions of his couch, content to try again in maybe another minute. After another go he succeeded, finally managing to change the channel. Plugging a cable into his laptop, he brought it up on the TV to play some music. He was in the mood to relax.

 

Standing was an effort, but Naruto persevered. There was a greater goal in mind: alcohol. Hobbling through to the kitchen, he pulled open the fridge to check the stocks. He had a few cans of beer, vodka (but no mixer), some rum left over from a party… but nothing seemed particularly appealing. He frowned, trying to decide, until a bottle on the counter caught his eye: Bruichladdich, the whisky Sasuke had introduced him to. He had bought it on a whim after his latest paycheck, passing one of his city’s numerous whisky shops.

 

Cracking open the seal, Naruto tipped the bright blue bottle into one of the two wide tumblers he had bought while replacing his broken kitchen-wear. As he was placing the bottle down a loud knocking startled him, causing him to almost drop it. Naruto checked his phone: it was nearly ten at night. Who could possibly be wanting him at this time?

 

As he pulled open the door, he was greeted by a familiar figure leaning against his doorframe: Sasuke.

“Yo,” Sasuke said, a lazy, lopsided grin spread across his face. Without waiting to be invited, he walked past Naruto’s frozen form and into his home.

 

It took a second, but Naruto’s brain eventually kicked back into gear. “Um… hi?”

 

“You don’t sound very sure of that.” Sasuke teased, not looking at Naruto as he ambled around the lounge. He picked up a framed picture from the housewarming party Naruto had thrown, looking over it for a second before resuming his self-guided tour. He wasn’t stumbling or slurring, but it was obvious he’d had quite a few drinks.

 

He was dressed much the same as the last time they had met, but this time the outfit was slightly more complete: a dark purple tie stood out against the white of his baggy shirt, the only concession of colour in his otherwise monochrome attire. It had been loosened, hanging half unknotted, and several of the shirt’s buttons were undone. A plain black suit jacket was draped over his slender form, perfectly fitting his shoulders. Even Naruto could see it was obviously tailored, and probably much more expensive than it looked.

 

He was looking a bit better as well, most of his injuries having healed in the two weeks since they’d last met. But Naruto could see heavy bags under his eyes, standing smudged against his porcelain skin. There were still the shadows of the worst bruising up his neck too, and a thin, pale line above his eyebrow where he was cut.

 

“Well yeah, last time you were here I had to replace half my dishes and get stitches in my foot.” Naruto replied after a second, his brain seeming to be slightly jammed.

 

Sasuke winced, the expression unfamiliar on his normally stoic face. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m rather… irritable when I’m hungover.”

 

Naruto folded his arms. “Irritable?”

 

“Mm.” He paused for a second to glance at the TV, playing music from his laptop. “You’re still listening to Avicii? I thought you’d grow out of that.”

 

 “Avicii’s alright. At least he can sing, unlike half the crap you used to listen to.”

 

Sasuke shrugged, and for a second they stood in awkward silence. Naruto leaned back on his kitchen counter, arms still crossed. “Well I’m guessing you aren’t here to critique my taste in music. What do you want, Sasuke?”

 

Sasuke perched himself on the arm of a chair, looking down at his hands. “The last time we met… you offered to help me, despite everything.” He met Naruto’s eyes, an anxiety present in them that he’d never seen before. “Did you mean it?”

 

It took Naruto a second to formulate a response: Sasuke was actually asking for help. “Yeah, yeah of course. Anything you need.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes shifted the bottle of Bruichladdich on the kitchen counter, still open. “Well I might need a drink first. It’s… not been an easy day.”

 

“Another drink’s probably not what you need right now, I-” Naruto cut off, suddenly realising the date. How could he have forgotten? “Fine. Hang on.”

 

His mouth set in a hard line, Naruto grabbed another glass. Sasuke definitely needed that drink: today was the anniversary of his parents’ death.

 

Sasuke quietly thanked him as he accepted the offered drink. Naruto placed his own on the dinner table, pulling up a chair. “How many years is that now? Ten?”

 

“Eleven.”

 

Naruto nodded, not quite sure what to say. He raised his glass in a toast. “To the ones we’ve lost.”

 

Sasuke met his glass, a sad smile flickering on his face for a second. They both drank deeply, the smoky whisky burning a trail down their throats.

 

They lapsed into silence again, Naruto realising he was going to have to do most of the talking. “You never really told me much about your parents.”

 

Sasuke shrugged. “I didn’t particularly feel like talking about them. I mean… Itachi always had me focused on other things.” He spoke his brother’s name with such venom, his hand gripped tight around his drink; Naruto feared he’d have to buy yet another set of glasses.

 

He seemed to relax after taking another drink. “Besides, there’s not much to talk about. They’re dead. I miss them. And talking won’t bring them back.”

 

Naruto was slightly taken aback by such a blunt response but he reasoned that was Sasuke all over, straightforward and to the point. Regardless, it was still a hard statement to follow up; the silence fell on them once more, heavy and thick, punctuated only by Sasuke lifting the glass to his lips. There was nothing he could think to say after that kind of reaction.

 

After a few more moments of this, Naruto slammed his drink down, jumping up off his chair. “Okay, this is ridiculous.”

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he stalked over to the fridge, yanking it open. Pulling out the vodka he’d spied earlier and two shot glasses from the cupboard, Naruto filled them with the strong, clear liquid.

 

“I appreciate the gesture, but I really shouldn’t drink vodka these days…” Sasuke began, trailing off.

 

“Who said any was for you?” Naruto asked rather brusquely, before downing them one after another.

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

 

“You,” he paused, making a face as the alcohol hit him. “Are quite far ahead of me. I mean, we’re gonna make a night of this, right? Besides,” Naruto added, a mischievous smile on his lips. “You’re far too difficult to deal with sober.”

 

“I…” Sasuke began, but stopped, shaking his head with a rueful smile. “Thank you, Naruto. What are we to do then?”

 

Naruto knew Sasuke didn’t need a therapy session: he needed a distraction. They could talk about this on a more suitable day. Now wasn’t the time.

 

Naruto grabbed his whisky and fell back into the couch. “Well since you hate Avicii so much, why don’t we start with you picking some music? Anything you want.”

 

“I don’t _hate_ Avicii.” He carefully perched next to Naruto, setting his drink down on the now-clear coffee table; Naruto had got that far before becoming bored by the idea of cleaning his flat. “I just think his songs are vacuous and boring.”

 

“And stupidly catchy?”

  
“And stupidly catchy.” Sasuke replied without missing a beat. He paused for a moment, then typed into the search box.

 

“Opeth?” Naruto asked, unfamiliar with the band. “Am I gonna regret giving you control of the soundtrack for tonight?”

 

Sasuke gave a small, crooked smile. “Maybe. Just give it a chance.”

 

Naruto smiled back, the broad grin coming easily: seeing Sasuke smile, as rare as it was, always made him happy.

 

Sasuke relaxed back into the couch as the album, Still Life, started. It faded in slowly, a few chords with a somewhat unsettling lead part that pitched and rolled; it reminded Naruto of being on a ship. It moved onto a nice acoustic section, the melody pleasant yet still slightly sinister.

 

“Well this isn’t too bad-” Naruto started, before being interrupted by the sudden intrusion of distorted guitars and a thundering drumkit. “I spoke too soon, didn’t I?”

 

“As I said, give it a chance: it’s a concept album. Everything’s deliberate, the music telling a story.”

 

Naruto raised his eyebrows. “That may be the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

“…okay, I’ll give you that.”

 

The vocalist had starting singing, a harsh deep growl. “How do you understand anything he says?” Naruto asked, genuinely confused. “It’s like listening to a bear singing in the shower.”

 

Sasuke shrugged. “You get used to it after a while. Here.” He grabbed the laptop again, putting the lyrics onscreen.

 

“’I was foul and tainted, devoid of faith,’” Naruto read aloud as the singer screamed. “’Wearing my death-mask at birth?’ Well that’s fucking grim. What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It’s the story, see?” Sasuke pointed to the earlier lyrics. “’Sigh of summer upon my return, fifteen alike since I was here.’ He’s returning to his home after fifteen years. The lyrics you read talk about why he was banished in the first place: he didn’t believe in the things they did, so they kicked him out to live in a swamp.”

 

Naruto frowned, eying the lyrics again. Like Sasuke had said, they told a story, but only if you looked hard enough. “Man, this is like Shakespeare in school all over again. What’s the point in writing a massive work of art is you have to translate it on the opposite page?”

 

“It’s just fancy wordplay, makes it elegant. The song would hardly last eleven minutes if he just said ‘I got kicked out of my home town and now I’m going back for the woman I love.’”

 

“Eleven minutes?” Naruto exclaimed incredulously. “Why would you even make a song that long?” He paused, listening as it moved onto a new section, with clean singing over sweeping chords and melodies. “Holy crap, this guy can actually sing. What’s the point of all the shouting then?”

 

Sasuke looked slightly exasperated, but explained. “It’s about power and expression. The guitars, drums, everything is about that section sounding powerful, and harsh vocals just add to that. It’s not necessarily about anger.”

 

“Huh.” Naruto took a drink of the whisky he’d just remembered he was holding. “I’d never thought about it like that. I guess it makes sense, but it doesn’t exactly sound good to me.”

 

“Different strokes.” Sasuke shrugged, picking up his own glass. “You’ll like the acoustic bit coming up though.”

 

As if on command, the music slowed down. Soft, gliding acoustic guitar replaced the discordance, the rise and fall of the gentle but passionate vocals creating a very different atmosphere.

 

“Yeah, I can get behind this.” Naruto nodded. “It’s really pretty, but kinda sad. Like…”

 

“Wistful?” Sasuke supplied.

 

Naruto nodded once more, focusing on the music. “It’s a bit of a change.”

 

“Well he’s talking about his lost love, Melinda. She’s the only reason he’s going back, after all. Everyone gave up on him, everyone except her.” There was something different in the way Sasuke talked about music, a kind of sadness. In fact, the last time Naruto had heard Sasuke sound like that was just before he’d passed out at the bar. As Naruto turned to face him, his eyes slid quickly to the empty drink in his lap, an odd expression on his face.

 

Sasuke raised his glass. “Any chance of a refill?”

 

Naruto nodded, deciding not to pursue it any further: evidently alcohol disarmed him quite a bit, and perhaps it wasn’t the right time for conversations that were too deep. He was seeing a whole spectrum of Sasuke that he imagined seldom others had experienced. As Naruto got up to retrieve the bottle, trying not to wince as his abused body complained, he tried to work out what could possibly have got under Sasuke’s skin.

 

Naruto elected to bring the bottle back to the coffee table. Uncorking the vibrant blue container, he asked “So what happens next?”

 

Sasuke accepted the top up, leaning backing into the couch. “We’ll have to listen to the whole thing then, won’t we?”

 

“Who says I’m that interested?”

 

“Naruto, I’ve always been able to read you like a book.” He smirked, throwing one arm over the back of the couch. “I know you’re interested.”

 

Refilling his own glass, Naruto shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, shut up. I think I’m starting to warm to this. It’s certainly… different. Not sure about the screaming yet though.”

 

“Give it time.” Sasuke replied confidently, the smug smile still lingering. That was a smile Naruto recognised, but at least it was more playful than some of the other times he had seen it.

 

Placing the bottle on the coffee table, Naruto’s brain was still in overdrive: did Sasuke feel he had something in common with the protagonist of Still Life? Naruto had always assumed Sasuke had left voluntarily, but could something have forced his hand? He added it to growing list of questions he had about his friend, but tried to put it out of his mind for now.

 

Shaking his head, he fetched a few ice cubes from his freezer. Sasuke’s disgust as they plopped into his drink was palpable. “Ice? Really?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“You’re ruining a perfectly nice drink.”

 

“Then why does a whisky tasting set come with a water jug?” Naruto asked slyly, holding the glass by the rim as he swirled the offending ice around the amber liquid.

 

He had done a bit of research after Sasuke had introduced him to whisky. As good a source of information as Sasuke was, he was just the slightest bit biased; his truth was the universal truth. If he was honest, Naruto had never met anyone so sure of themselves. In a lot of ways it was something to be admired.

 

“In fact,” Naruto continued, now his turn to own the smug grin stretched across his features. “Some schools of thought say you can only release the full potential of a good whisky with some water. Ice changes it over time, letting you enjoy all the different tastes in one glass.”

 

The argument didn’t do much to sway Sasuke. “Some ‘schools of thought’” – the quotation marks were evident in his voice –“are wrong.”

 

Naruto grinned, not in the least bit phased. He planted his socked feet on the table, leaning back into the couch as he took a sip. “Sorry Sasuke, can’t hear you over the taste of this delicious, cold whisky.” He punched Sasuke lightly on the shoulder. It was like punching a boulder, immovable and uncaring. “Cheer up: at least I’m not drinking it with coke.”

 

Sasuke hummed in agreement, his face neutral once more. “Small mercies.”

 

The album had moved into a nice acoustic number, the gentle wash of strings and the mournful tone of the singer creating an eerie, haunting atmosphere. Naruto squinted at the lyrics, trying to make out more of the story.

 

“What’s happening now?” He asked, giving up on the twisting metaphors and vague wording.

 

Sasuke sat forward, scanning the screen for a second. “The Outcast is meeting Melinda for the first time in 15 years. But she’s become a nun, married to God and everything he hates. He tells her she’s been brainwashed: “What came and distorted your sight,” see? He wants her to run away with him, give it all up.”

 

“Damn, shit’s going down.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch.

 

“So you worked all that out yourself?” Naruto asked, curious as to how he could untangle such flowery language. “I mean, ‘carry your weight, you are flawed as all of us?’ How do you make sense of that?”

 

“It’s not that hard really. ‘Carry your weight’ means take responsibility for your life and happiness, and ‘you are flawed as all of us’ is just a statement: nobody’s perfect, we all make mistakes. He feels not going with him would be one of them.” He closed his eyes, his tilting his head back ever so slightly. “But no, I didn’t work them out myself. Some of the fans pieced bits together, and an artist did a set of paintings about them.”

 

Naruto blinked, surprised. “Wow. That’s some dedication.”

 

Sasuke grinned a teasing smile, his mouth pulling up at one corner. “See? You don’t get that sort of passion out of Avicii fans.”

 

“Well actually-”

 

“-I don’t wanna hear it.” Sasuke cut over him, waving his hand dismissively.

 

“You’re a massive tool, you know that?” But despite his friend’s stubbornness, Naruto still couldn’t stop smiling. Sitting here with Sasuke, just enjoying one another’s company, it felt right. It was a kind of comfort Naruto hadn’t felt in a long time.

 

They sat in silence for a while, just letting the music wash over them. It had picked up once more, morphing into another dark, dramatic song. Sasuke explained more as the story unfolded: The Outcast was hiding in a cathedral, waiting for Melinda to make her decision. If the people in charge caught him there, they’d kill him, and the lyrics describe him growing more and more paranoid.

 

Naruto was beginning to understand more of the way the words fitted together with the story, deciphering more and more on his own. “…dammit,” he sighed, running a hand through his thick hair. “I think I’m getting hooked on this.”

 

“Even the screaming?”

 

Naruto made a face. “I can tolerate it. Especially now I know it’s not just cause he stubbed his toe or something.”

 

Sasuke exhaled through his nose in what Naruto had come to recognise as a laugh of sorts. He was getting used to reading his friend’s body language again, the small, subtle cues slowly coming back to him. It was all about the subtext with Sasuke: even though he’d had a few drinks, he could still be an inscrutable bastard.

 

“Still,” Naruto continued, pleased he’d amused Sasuke at least a little bit. “The Outcast’s a bit creepy, isn’t he? Melinda doesn’t see him for fifteen years and he just shows up out the blue and says ‘I love you, run away with me.’ He’s asking her to abandon her faith for him.”

 

That strange look crossed Sasuke’s face once more. “What if she doesn’t know what she wants? He hopes she remembers the person he used to be… and can forgive the person he’s become. And he’s scared he’ll put her in danger. It’s why he stayed away so long.”

 

“Hmm…” Naruto took a drink, pondering the presented dilemma.

 

“There’s no easy answer, is there?” Sasuke asked, helping himself to another glass of whisky, topping Naruto up as he did so. “Maybe if he truly loves her he’ll leave her be to protect her.”

 

“No.” Naruto put his glass down, reaching a decision. “If he really respects her, he’ll give her the chance to make a decision.” He got up to get another shot, almost tripping over the Xbox controller lying by his couch. Finding his (slightly askew) balance again, Naruto scooped it up, placing it gently on top of the kitchen counter. As he went to pour the shot, he caught Sasuke staring at the Xbox as if seeing it for the first time.

 

“When I was younger…” he paused, as if deciding whether to continue. “When I was younger, I always wanted one of those. My father would never let me though.”

 

“Seriously?” Naruto asked, looking over his shoulder as he fished around in the fridge for the vodka. “Why?”

 

Sasuke smiled slightly. “He insisted it was a waste of time: the only things I should have had time for were my studies and my training.”

 

Naruto frowned, downing yet another shot. He could feel the alcohol taking effect, his fingertips numbing as he reached the pleasant buzz of tipsiness. “There had to be a reason though, right? I mean I’m sure he wasn’t just a hard-ass for the sake of it.” He snapped his fingers, suddenly remembering one of the rare insights Sasuke had previously given him about his parents. “Your dad was a policeman, right? Maybe that’s why he was so protective of you.”

 

Sasuke gave a dry chuckle. “That’s what my mother always insisted. She could put a positive spin on anything, told us that Dad just wanted us to be able to look after ourselves after all the things he’d seen… and he was a good cop too. Even when they promoted him, he always focused on ‘putting the bad guys away.’” A short snort of humourless laughter escaped him. “Too bad it got him killed.”

 

Naruto winced: from what he’d heard, Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha had been the victims of a brutal gang retaliation. Sasuke’s father had managed to cripple a large portion of their operation. In return they’d taken his life, and that of Sasuke’s mother too.

 

“I guess that explains where you get your iron-clad sense of justice then.” Naruto said diplomatically, trying to ignore Sasuke’s last comment. “They gave you your strength, Sasuke. Sounds like a lot more than some parents gave their kids.”

 

“But at what cost?” Sasuke asked, scowling into his drink. “I was raised like a soldier. I didn’t have a father, I had a drill sergeant.”

 

Naruto put down the shot glass he’d been rolling around his hand. “It’s more than some people had, Sasuke.” He said flatly.

 

He looked up at Naruto guiltily, regret written over his face. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

 

Naruto held his hand up calmly, looking Sasuke hard in the eye. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I mean you’re right: I’ve been alone from the start. I’ve no idea how it feels to have those bonds and lose them.”

 

Sasuke looked away, the familiar words burning. “I wish I hadn’t said that. It was cruel, and-”

 

Naruto cut him off. “Considering what else you did to me that night, I think that’s the least of your concern. But you were right: I was naïve to compare my situation to yours. I can’t begin to understand how it must have been for you, just like you have no idea how I feel.” Naruto paused, unsure how to phrase his next thought. “But I think I’m starting to understand what it’s like to have a proper family.”

 

Sasuke smiled gently. “Jiraiya, right? You always speak so highly of him. It’s nice to hear.”

 

“Not just him.” Naruto clarified. “Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, all of you. The way everyone’s described family to me… it’s how I feel about you guys.”

 

Sasuke stared off into the television, the blood-red album cover of Still Life filling the screen. “Even me?”

 

“Especially you.” Naruto shrugged. “I might be new to this family thing, but I know you’re supposed to forgive them when they fuck up.”

 

Sasuke’s grip on his glass tightened, his expression darkening. “No, Naruto. Some things are unforgivable.”

 

There was a terse silence, the dark, heavy music appropriate with the sudden shift in tone. Panicking, Naruto did the first thing that came into his head; it just so happened to be grabbing the Xbox controller and lobbing it at Sasuke.

 

“Catch!” he blurted a second too late, as the black remote flew directly at Sasuke’s head.

 

Sasuke snatched the controller out of the air without trying, seeming only mildly surprised at the sudden turn of events “An interesting murder weapon, to be sure.” He commented dryly.

 

Naruto bit his lip. “Yeah, sorry. That wasn’t supposed to be as…”

 

“Borderline homicidal?” Sasuke cut in with a sly smile.

 

“I was thinking dangerous, you drama queen.” Naruto smiled, glad to have distracted his friend once more.

 

“I think that’s the most innocuously anyone’s ever called me a queen…”

 

“Well I’m not sure what ‘innocuously’ means, but I’ll assume you aren’t too offended.” Naruto laughed, pulling open one of the drawers of his TV cabinet and tossing games on the coffee table. “Here, let’s start with this one, see how you handle a shooter.”

 

Powering up the console, he slid the disk in and crashed back on the couch with a controller of his own. “Okay, video games 101: Left stick to move, right stick to look…”

 

As Naruto rattled off the different buttons and their respective functions, Sasuke listened raptly. He occasionally nodded, looking at the controller and turning it over in his thin, dextrous fingers.

 

“Think you’ve got it all?” Naruto asked as the title screen loaded up.

 

“I’m a fast learner,” he replied, eyes fixed on the screen, the cocky half-smile once again adorning his pale features. “Bring it on.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“How the fuck are you this good already?” Naruto asked, slamming his controller down a bit too heartily on the coffee table and rolling up his sleeves. “Best nine out of, emm… twelve?”

 

Sasuke could barely contain his grin. “I don’t mind beating your ass all night. You’re too predictable.”

  
“Sorry I didn’t read your book Sun Tzu, war’s just a past-time for me.”

 

Sasuke’s smile dimmed, an annoyed look flitting across his face. “It’s basic tactics, Naruto. If you weren’t such an idiot you might think to use them too.”

 

 _Great, what now?_ Naruto thought, exasperated. Certain things, innocent enough to Naruto, seemed to set him off.

 

Sasuke shook his head as he leaned forward. He pinched the bridge of his nose, running the hand down his face until it came to rest at his chin. “Sorry, that was rude. I’ll… I’ll try and work on that. I’ve been around the wrong people for too long.”

 

“Maybe you need to rethink who you let into your life.” Naruto said, trying to be delicate. That his new friends were a bad influence was apparent, but the fact that Sasuke could see it spoke volumes of the position he was in: he was deliberately putting himself in this situation.

 

_He must feel like he has no choice…_

“Can’t. It’s a work thing.” He answered in clipped tones. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, but Naruto was more than a few whiskies deep and relentless.

 

“Then quit. You don’t have to be miserable just to earn a paycheck.”

 

“It’s not about the money, my parents left me plenty. It’s…” Sasuke seemed unsure how to phrase his sentiment, another rare sight for Naruto. “It’s like a stepping stone. I need this job to get my next one.”

 

Naruto wouldn’t give up that easily. “Is it really worth it though? If these people are changing who you are for the worse, what’s the next job going to do to you?”

 

Sasuke’s eyes flashed dangerously, a hard edge to them. “No one changes me.”

 

“You were always a bit of an asshole Sasuke, but that shit you pulled the last time I saw you? I hate to break it to you, but you’re different.”

 

Sasuke went quiet for a second, his eyes slowly sliding to the floor in front of him. “Look at your arm, Naruto.” He whispered. “I haven’t changed a goddamn bit.”

 

Before he could think, Naruto’s eyes darted down to his arms. The sleeve, so casually rolled up earlier, put the ugly scar on display.

 

And Naruto was suddenly a million miles away. He could see it as clearly as the day it had happened: he had missed the punch, Sasuke grabbing his knuckles as they sailed past him; the snarl, almost bestial, twisting Sasuke’s face as he smashed his palm into Naruto’s forearm; the horrible snap that reverberated through his entire being as the bone snapped; the red mist that exploded from his arm, with pain enough to send a man mad.

 

Naruto blinked. He was clenching his left fist completely involuntarily, so hard that the knuckles had turned white. He stared at it for a second, confused, before releasing it. The pink was restored to his hand in patches, his fingers numb as the blood returned to them.

 

“So why did you do it?”

 

Sasuke avoided his eye, still staring at the floor. “You really want to know?” He took a deep breath. “I knew you wouldn’t let me go unless I hurt you. A lot.”

 

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Naruto could hear the agitation in his voice: reliving the event again had really shaken him up.

 

“No, I suppose not.” Sasuke sat in silence for a few seconds before moving to get up.

 

Without thinking, Naruto’s hand shot out, grabbing him by his loose shirt and wrenching him back onto the couch. His arm locked in place, shaking with the intensity of his grip, rigid lines of muscle drawing his skin tight.

 

“Oh no you don’t. You owe me some fucking answers.” The words were out of Naruto’s mouth before he even had a chance to think, like someone else was speaking them.

 

Sasuke seemed surprised, but his hands rose slightly, immediately forming a defensive posture. “I don’t owe you shit, Naruto.”

 

“Eighteen months of hospital visits says otherwise.”

 

Sasuke seemed to waver for a second before his expression hardened. “You want it this way? Fine.” He leaned forward, looking Naruto straight in the eye. “I did it because you were slowing me down. You, Sakura, everyone. I needed a clean start and I got it.”

 

He tried to slap Naruto’s hand away, hooking his left arm under Naruto’s, but only succeeded in bringing the two closer together: Naruto had a grip of steel. They stared each other down, faces barely six inches apart. “And you wouldn’t believe how strong it’s made me, Naruto.”

 

The anger began to bubble over in Naruto. He wanted to hit Sasuke so badly, to make him suffer twice what he’d been through…

 

 _And why shouldn’t you?_ A voice seemed to whisper in his ear. _That bastard has put you through more pain than anyone. Doesn’t he deserve it?_

Just in time, Naruto managed to reel himself back. He released Sasuke, getting up and striding to the opposite side of the room. Shutting his eyes, he tried to calm his mind. That anger, that malicious hatred, it wasn’t him.

 

_Exhale. Breath. Find your centre, the core of your being, and immerse yourself in its calm flow…_

As they had many times before, Jiraiya’s words managed to temper Naruto’s anger, soothing his racing mind. Sasuke’s words still pissed him off, but he decided to try give him the benefit of the doubt: today must be unimaginably hard for him. He turned round to find the aforementioned man quietly drinking on the couch, eyes straight ahead.

 

“It’s really fucked you up, hasn’t it?” He asked, knocking back a fair measure of the amber whisky.

 

Naruto closed his eyes again, suddenly exhausted. He leaned against the kitchen counter with both hands. “I’m sorry Sasuke, that was uncalled for.”

 

“Don’t be. If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t be this way.”

 

Naruto sighed, opening his eyes. “That’s not strictly true. Remember Neji?”

 

Sasuke laughed slightly. “Yeah. You fucked that kid up.”

 

Naruto nodded, before realising that Sasuke couldn’t see him. “Same thing.”

 

“And it’s just as well you did.” Sasuke got up, following Naruto around the couch with his drink and sitting opposite him. “He was never an ass to Hinata again after that. Haven’t since seen someone literally have sense knocked into them before.”

 

Naruto didn’t laugh. “It isn’t funny. You know why I never got fostered for more than a month? Apparently no one wants to take care of a kid with ‘explosive anger issues.’”

 

Sasuke raised his glass. “To us – irredeemably fucked up.”

 

Naruto stared at him for a few seconds, both eyebrows and drink elevated, before grinning ruefully.

 

Sasuke smiled, this one seeming more genuine. “That’s more like it. Come on dickhead, get a drink. Don’t leave me hanging.”

 

Naruto laughed, running to the table to top himself up. He figured he probably shouldn’t drink too much more, but it looked like Sasuke wanted to bury the hatchet as much as he did.

 

Taking his glass, once more full, back to the kitchen, Naruto tapped it against Sasuke’s.

 

“So,” Sasuke started as he put down his empty drink. “When did you start seriously training?”

 

“You really have to stop with that clairvoyant shit Sasuke.” Naruto laughed. “A few weeks ago. How could you tell?”

 

“You were struggling to get off the couch earlier.” The amusement in his voice was palpable.

 

Naruto awkwardly scratched the back of his head, just needing something to do with his hands so he didn’t sink into the ground from embarrassment. “Fuck, you saw that?”

 

Sasuke just raised his eyebrows. “The abs are always worst, aren’t they?”

 

“That and the yoga,” Naruto grumbled.

 

“I won’t lie, the idea of you sitting still for more than five minutes is quite laughable.”

 

Naruto tried to sneer at him, but was unable to keep a straight face.

 

“So what made you start?” Sasuke continued, seemingly interested in the conversation. “Training seriously, I mean.”

 

“Honestly?” Naruto asked, still a bit embarrassed. “How easily you kicked my ass.”

 

Now it was Sasuke’s turn to look uncomfortable – he was definitely easier to read with a few drinks in him. “Well you had to recover after… you know.”

 

There was an awkward pause, Sasuke opting to take a drink. Naruto followed suit.

 

“Was it… was it difficult?”

 

Naruto looked down at his drink. “The hardest thing I’ve had to do.”

 

When he looked up again, Sasuke seemed torn. A finger tapped against his drink rapidly, and he seemed to be chewing the inside of his lip.

 

“Naruto…” he began slowly, even for Sasuke. “There’s something I need to-”

 

But he was cut off: a sharp buzz cut through the air, Sasuke’s head jerking up like a dog hearing a whistle. He all but leapt off his chair, slightly unsteady on his feet, rummaging through the pockets of the jacket strewn lazily over the couch. He pulled out an ancient flip phone, missing his first attempt to flick it open. He finally succeeded, jamming it to his ear and saying nothing, only listening. For just a second Naruto saw something alien to him in those eyes, something he’d only seen once before.

 

Fear.

 

Naruto’s stomach dropped: what in the Hell could scare Sasuke Uchiha? He didn’t know, but whatever it was must have been terrifying. Sasuke seemed to sober up pretty quickly, his face resolving into the neutral mask that Naruto had come to know so well.

 

 _He’s hiding something_.

 

Sasuke snapped the phone closed and stalked up to Naruto, shoving his arms quickly through the sleeves of his jacket. He took the drink from him and placing it down on the counter.

 

“Sasuke, what-”

 

“Naruto, listen closely,” he spoke quickly, putting a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. Both the pace and contact were unusual for Sasuke. “I’m really sorry, but I’ve fucked up. There are people on their way here. They’re gonna say they’re cops. They aren’t.”

 

Naruto pushed Sasuke’s hand off him. “What? Who the fuck are they?”

  
“I owe them money. They must have people out looking for me…” He trailed off, seeming to have an epiphany. “Of course, the guy who let me in. And-”

 

“-I thought you said you had plenty of money?” Naruto cut in again, confused: his story wasn’t making much sense

 

“I do, but I’m not paying them on principal.” He grabbed Naruto’s arm. “Look, it doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that under no circumstances you let them in.”

 

“What the fuck have you gotten yourself into Sasuke?”

 

 “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. But I’m gonna need to ask you a favour: you need to punch me in the face.” He checked his watch, swearing under his breath. “Look, I know you don’t want to, but-”

 

Naruto cut him off once again by punching him square in the nose. He put a bit more power into it than he probably should have; he guessed he was still holding onto a bit of anger from earlier.

 

Sasuke’s head whipped back and he stumbled, quickly regaining his footing. “Fuck,” he cursed, drawing out the word, hands clutching his nose. He looked up at Naruto, blood running down his chin, and grinned. “Perfect. Okay, gonna have to…”

 

Sasuke trailed off, knocking a standing lamp over, the bulb shattering. “What the fuck dude?” Naruto exclaimed, “Are you gonna destroy my flat every time you’re here?”

 

“Sorry, I need to make it look authentic: you’re going to say I tried to rob you. You must have left the door open. You punched me in the face, then I jumped out the window.”

 

“You jumped out the…?”

 

Sasuke continued as if he hadn’t heard him, tipping over a chair. “You’ve never seen me before, you don’t want to press charges, and remember: don’t let them in. Ask to see badges. They won’t have them.”

 

Naruto was struggling to keep up. “Wait, slow down. Sasuke!”

 

There was a hammering knock on the door, a young man’s voice calling out. “Excuse me, sir! This is the police. Do you require any assistance?”

 

“Too late.” Sasuke said, running to the window, wrenching back the curtain and throwing it open. He turned back for a second with a brief half-smile. “See you around Naruto.”

 

And then he jumped.

 

Naruto ran to the window after him, just in time to see Sasuke land. He hit the ground hard, feet first, dropping down into a roll. Springing up again he stumbled, smashing shoulder-first into a parked car. The alarm triggered as he bounced off it, staggered once more, then turned to run off into the night. The pounding on his door increased in intensity, the young man’s shouting more insistent. Naruto stepped away from the window, almost tripping over his armchair. The alarm’s wail following him into the flat as he made it to the door, yanking it open.

 

Standing before him were two men, both rather short. They wore matching coats of black, punctuated with red clouds; that was where the similarities ended. On the right, arm extended from slamming his fist against the door, was a young blond man, his long hair pulled up into a high ponytail, a large fringe covering half of his face. As he uncurled his fist, Naruto thought he could make out a mouth tattooed into the palm.

 

The man on the left had a thin, boyish face, but something in the way he carried himself told Naruto he was older than he looked. While his partner wore a smirk, this man was much more composed, his movements stiff and robotic. It gave Naruto the creeps: it was like the second man was a puppet.

 

“Excuse me sir,” The blond man began, pulling out a photograph from inside his coat. “We received reports of a dangerous criminal in this area. Have you seen this man?”

 

Of course it was a picture of Sasuke. It was obviously taken at a distance as he was in a large crowd, all other faces blurred for clarity.

 

“Y-yeah,” Naruto stuttered, not entirely acting his nervousness. “This asshole just broke into my flat!”

 

“Are you okay sir? Is he inside now?” The blond man asked excitedly trying to see past Naruto into the flat. He ended most of his sentences with a small ‘hmm,’ like he was trying to clear his throat.

 

“No, I punched him in the face and the crazy bastard jumped out the window.”

 

The man on the left spoke up, his soft voice almost child-like. “May we come into your flat? He may have left evidence behind.”

 

Naruto pretended to consider it, then quickly added. “Do you guys have badges or something? You could be anyone for all I know.”

 

The men looked at each other for a second, but were interrupted by a phone ringing. The red-haired man answered it, spoke barely two words and hung up again.

 

He turned to his partner. “The boy’s right, Sasuke’s on the move. Jumped out the window. Let’s go.”

 

The blond man threw a quick and insincere thanks at Naruto before turning to hurry back down the stairs. Naruto slammed his door shut, double locking it before he felt safe. He practically ran to the window, shutting it and drawing the curtains tight. Only then did he feel a bit better.

 

What the fuck had Sasuke dragged him into? Were they loan sharks, the kind you heard about in old gangster movies that broke kneecaps? Naruto didn’t care to find out, but the thought of people watching his flat left him feeling rather violated.

 

He’d had quite enough excitement for one night: it was time for bed. As he stumbled through to the bathroom to brush his teeth, something Sasuke said kept running through his head

 

_“I did it because you were slowing me down. You, Sakura, everyone. I needed a clean start and I got it.”_

There was still something bugging him about their little exchange. It seemed too cruel, too deliberate, even for Sasuke. He wasn’t angry or upset, like any other time he’d been spiteful. It was too… clinical.

 

And then it hit him. He didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it before: Sasuke was lying.

 

Naruto didn’t get much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so that was a massive chapter dump to bring this site up to date with my other accounts on Y-Gal and FF. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and positive comments so far, I really appreciate it: I'm working on my writing skills with this project, trying to work on my world-building, pace, structure, etc. A lot gets revealed in this chapter, but there's a lot more twists and turns to come, don't worry :P
> 
> Recommended listening for this chapter - Opeth's Still Life, the album Sasuke so identifies with.   
> !LINK AHOY - (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0azsKCi3DmM) - LINK AHOY!  
> One of my faves, I realised while building this narrative that there's more than a few parallels between the stories. With music being so important to my version Sasuke, it only felt right to include this.
> 
> Feel free to ask questions and leave comments, the more of you lovely people I get to talk to the better ^_^


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto tries to continue life as normal, but can't help continue his search for Sasuke.

Naruto frowned as he absent-mindedly flicked a spec of white fabric off the collar of his shirt. It was only when he looked at the mirror that he realised a tissue must have stowed away the last time he washed it, the fluff covering his whole shirt like an interesting mould. Groaning, he hastily unbuttoned it and threw it onto his table, searching his cupboards for the lint roller he’d bought; this had happened far too many times before.

 

 _I don’t even know why I care so much,_ he thought as he tried to clear as much of the white fluff as quickly as possible. _It’s only the old gang going for a few drinks, nothing major._

But it was a big deal: sure, he’d seen each of them every so often since they’d all left school, but it was very rare that they all got together like this.

 

So he slaved over the black shirt until it was presentable. Throwing it on, he paused by the door, debating whether to grab a jacket or not. In the end he decided against it: it was a warm Summer night, and once he had a few beers in him he’d be even warmer.

 

Stepping out onto the street, he waited a second to be sure the door slammed shut and the magnetic bolt clicked. He didn’t usually bother, but since the incident with Sasuke he’d been extra careful to make sure everything was locked down: he’d been growing more and more paranoid, sure that people were watching his flat, following him…

 

Naruto shook his head, the physical movement clearing his head slightly. Even if people were keeping tabs on Sasuke, they wouldn’t be doing the same to him. He was just a kid, barely an adult. What could anyone want with him?

 

Sasuke… it was hard to believe it had been three weeks since he’d jumped in and out of his life again. Literally jumped: Mr Dog-Always-Barks-At-6am on the third floor’s car window was still smashed, a flimsy cover flapping lazily in the breeze. Naruto was worried about his friend. He seemed to be in a pretty bad place, surrounded by people that were no good for him. It must have been wearing him thin.

 

He was still lost in thought when he saw his bus sail past him.

 

Leaping off the top step he tried to catch it, but to no avail. It picked up one or two people from the stop just down the street and continued on its merry way. Slowing down to a gradual stop as he reached the bus stand, Naruto noticed that his unplanned cardio session had barely affected him: his heart wasn’t beating much faster than usual, and he wasn’t even slightly out of breath. Evidently Jiraiya’s training was paying off.

 

He pulled out his phone as he waited on the next bus to pass, texting Ino and Kiba to inform them of his slight delay. Out of everyone there, they were the most likely to check their phones. That was, if things hadn’t changed much.

 

Apparently they hadn’t: he got instant near-simultaneous messages back from both of them. Ino’s was a simple acknowledgement, whereas Kiba’s was much more… Kiba.

 

‘Haha, fuckin called it! Hinata owes us a round :P’

 

Naruto smiled as he tucked his phone in his pocket and hopped on the next bus.

 

_Maybe some things never change._

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

25 minutes later Naruto, upon producing his ID for the bored-looking bouncer, was granted access to the pub. It was one of the many themed pubs around the city, this particular gimmick being Frankenstein. Passing a large statue of the monster, Naruto squeezed through a group of people leaving to get to the main bar. He spotted them instantly as he entered. They were a hard group to miss, especially as Ino excitedly waved him over.

 

They were all crammed into a booth at the back, an impressive feat considering there were seven of them. On the left, squeezed onto the dark couch were the first three: Hinata, sitting quietly at the back, gave a shy smile as Naruto walked over; Shino next to her, silent as usual, brooding over his drink; and Kiba, the antithesis of the others, loud and boisterous, grinning over his pint. Opposite them were Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, and a boy Naruto didn’t recognise. He figured it must be Ino’s new boyfriend, given that Ino had hopped into his lap in order to get the four of them on one couch. He looked rather uncomfortable with this arrangement, but nevertheless a small smile strained his face. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about this boy made Naruto feel uneasy. He tried, however, to reserve any judgements for now. Next to him was Shikamaru, leaning back against the booth, arms folded. He was shoulder to shoulder with Chouji, who was busy distributing shots to everyone.

 

“Naruto!” Kiba cried, leaping up to give him a hi-five and almost spilling his drink all over Shino. “Grab a shot, courtesy of Hinata.”

 

“Damn it Hinata, you know better than to bet on my time keeping,” Naruto said, accepting the dark liquid from Chouji.

 

Hinata hummed non-committedly, her soft voice hard to hear over the music. “One of these days you’ll surprise us, I think.”

 

“What, Naruto? He’s gonna be late for his own funeral.” Ino asked, laughing. She gestured behind herself, seeming to remember that she was sitting on someone. “Oh by the way, this is my boyfriend, Sai. Sai, this is Naruto.”

 

“Oh yes,” Sai started, his pleasant voice very cordial, if somewhat stiff. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 

“Ino…” Naruto started.

 

“What? It was good things. Mostly.” Ino added, stirring her drink.

 

Naruto downed his shot, instantly recognising the spicy burn of Jägermeister. The rest of them followed suit save for Sai, who didn’t seem to drink.

 

“God,” Naruto said, screwing up his face. “Haven’t had this in a while. It was mostly at your college parties, Kiba.”

 

Kiba laughed again, putting his shot glass back on the table upside down. “Those were some good parties.”

 

“Because of the low standards of drunk girls?” Shikamaru asked, running a hand over his bushy ponytail.

 

“Hey, I’m a catch.”

 

Ino grinned. “Which is why you’re still single?”

 

“I’m a free spirit.”

 

“Whatever you say Kiba,” Naruto chimed in. “I’ll leave you to debate that, I’m gonna grab a drink. Anyone want anything?”

 

Chouji held up a finger as he downed the rest of his pint and burped. “I’ll go with.”

 

“You might wanna take it easy Chouji,” Naruto warned as they made their way to the bar. “We don’t need a repeat of graduation.”

 

Chouji grunted as they patiently tried to squeeze near the bar; given his friend’s… ‘generous’ figure, he didn’t think they’d be easily able to. Sure enough, with the Saturday crowds out they had to join a pseudo line, edging closer to the overworked bar staff with each customer served.

 

“So how’s it going Chouji? Everything still good at the restaurant?” Naruto asked, glad for the opportunity to catch up with him one-on-one.

“Yeah, it’s a decent job: dad’s just a hardass, you know?” He laughed, pushing a lock of frizzy brown hair out of his face. “Still, he’s said I’m getting good enough that I’ll be able to run the place soon enough. It’s kinda scary to be honest. What about you?”

 

“Just work and training, nothing exciting.” _Apart from Sasuke making a surprise appearance, trashing my kitchen, causing two “police officers” to turn up at my door, jumping out my window…_ “Same old, same old.” Naruto confirmed as they edged ever closer to the bar. Not particularly wanting to talk about himself, he tried directing the conversation another way. “So what does this Sai dude seem like? I can’t seem to get a read on him.”

 

Chouji thought on the question for a second before replying, scratching the little goatee he’d grown since leaving school. “He’s… odd. I mean, not that we aren’t. But I never know when he’s joking or being serious. And if he is being serious, he’s one mean bastard.” Chouji shrugged. “I dunno man, I’ve been with him for less than twenty minutes. I’d keep an eye on him though.”

 

Naruto nodded, his gut feelings somewhat confirmed.

 

Walking back with his hands full, Naruto noticed Kiba grinning as a girl walked away from their table. Ino cautiously waited until she was out of range before not-so-subtly slamming her fist down on the table.

 

“Kiba you manslut!” She yelled, laughing as she almost knocked a glass over.

 

Shikamaru grinned, raising an eyebrow. “Does… does that even need to be gendered?”

 

“Exactly,” Kiba replied, leaning back into the booth, “I reserve my right to be a regular slut, thank you very much.”

 

“Did we miss something?” Chouji asked as he squeezed in next to Shikamaru. Naruto elected to stand at the edge on the table, placing his drink down after taking a small sip: he didn’t want to go overboard tonight.

 

“Did you see the girl at our table?” Kiba asked as he took a napkin out of his pocket, pretending to fan his face with it. “Got her number.”

 

Naruto laughed as Chouji leaned over the table and slapped Kiba on the shoulder, nearly spilling Kiba’s pint on Shino again. He grinned and obliviously tucked the napkin safely back into his pocket as, much to everyone’s amusement, Shino shot him dirty looks.

 

Naruto surveyed the scene and, for a second, his fears were abated: it looked like the years had done nothing to change his favourite group of people. But the feeling didn’t last very long.

 

“She gave you a fake number. It was quite obvious.” An overly polite voice piped up from behind Ino. “She just isn’t interested in a loser like you.”

 

The laughter stopped as suddenly as it had started, the atmosphere suddenly shifting. Kiba glared at Sai, seeming rather disgruntled, as an uncomfortable silence fell over the group. Naruto didn’t blame him: while they exchanged little jabs and insults, it was all in good faith. Despite his polite tone, it was like Chouji said: Sai seemed quite serious.

 

The rest of them seemed to agree with him: Hinata didn’t seem to know where to look, her eyes glued to the table; Chouji and Shikamaru looked just as annoyed as Kiba; Ino seemed absolutely mortified, her jaw slack in surprise. Only Sai was unaffected, that strange smile not shifting an inch. The more Naruto looked at it, the less genuine it seemed.

 

As much as he didn’t like it, it looked like it was down to Naruto to be the peace-keeper. Sighing, he kicked Kiba under the table, shooting him a discrete ‘play nice’ look.

 

Kiba took a long drink and broke the silence. “It’s just as well: I think my phone contacts are full anyway.” He shot a look at Naruto. “Hey Naruto, are you sure you’re okay standing?”

 

“Well unless you want me sitting on your lap like Ino, I think we’re good.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“So what do you think?” Naruto asked as they breathed in the city’s cool air. Their next stop, a vodka bar, was only a short walk.

 

“What do I think?” Kiba asked, knowing what he meant. He glared at Sai, walking ahead of them with Ino and Hinata. “I think he’s a total ass-clown. And I’ve no idea what Ino sees in him. But… I guess I’d be a shitty friend if I didn’t trust her to make her own mistakes.”

 

“Yeah,” Shikamaru interrupted from behind them. “And besides, doesn’t he remind you of Sasuke?”

 

“What?” Naruto yelled as Kiba and Chouji laughed. “He’s nothing like Sasuke!”

 

“Nah, I can see the resemblance.” Kiba said, still laughing.

 

“They even _look_ similar.” Chouji chimed in.

 

“Sasuke’s not an asshole.” Naruto replied flatly, eyes straight ahead.

 

“Sasuke _was_ an asshole,” Kiba corrected, eyes narrowing at Naruto’s tone. “And you’re too forgiving for your own good. Even after everything-”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it Kiba.”

 

“You never wanna talk about it.” Kiba’s expression softened, his hand reaching out to grab Naruto’s shoulder. “Maybe it’s time to let go.”

 

“Come on, if he doesn’t wanna talk about it, he doesn’t wanna talk about it.” Shikamaru interrupted as they reached the girls and Sai outside the next bar. He pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket. “You guys go ahead, I need to take care of something.”

 

Naruto went to head in with the others, but Shikamaru gestured at him with the box. “How about you hang around, Naruto?” He asked, flicking the box open and pulling out a cigarette as the rest of them filed in.

 

Naruto almost did a double take as Shikamaru took a lighter to his mouth. “Since when did you smoke?”

 

He gave a small smile as he drew on the thin, hand-rolled tube. “Things change, Naruto.” He took another drag, his face becoming more serious. “Look, I’ve been meaning to have a talk with you for a while. It just never seemed like the right time.”

 

Naruto leaned against the wall with his arms folded. “What’s this about, Shikamaru?”

 

“I think you know.”

 

Naruto hummed an acknowledgement, looking up at the dim sunset between the buildings. “Sasuke.”

 

Shikamaru nodded, briefly following Naruto’s gaze. “Sasuke.”

 

For a moment neither of them said anything. “I’m not gonna tell you that you shouldn’t forgive him, or that you shouldn’t miss him, but… I’ve had some experience with loss, Naruto. With grief. It makes you do some pretty stupid things.” He flicked ash off the end of the cigarette, staring as it floated off on the wind.

 

Finally he looked at Naruto, his dark eyes steely and grim. “It doesn’t make you do what he did. There’s no excuse for that, and you can’t think that it’s okay.”

 

Naruto didn’t respond for a second, his eyes sliding off Shikamaru’s to the pavement. “When he left, I… I blamed myself. For not understanding him better, for not trying hard enough. Everyone told me there was nothing I could have done.” His voice got louder, taking on a bitter quality. “But it’s bullshit. I could have understood him better, but I was too much of an idiot. I could have tried harder, but I was too weak. How do you think he felt, getting betrayed like that? By someone he loved?”

 

Shikamaru dropped the cigarette, grinding it into the pavement with his heel. “In this case, everyone’s right: you couldn’t have done any more than you did. You don’t think we feel guilty Naruto? You don’t think we looked at you and wondered what it might have been if everyone made the effort you made? If everyone went as far as you did? I thought about it long and hard, and it comes down to this: Sasuke Uchiha would do exactly the same goddamn thing regardless.”

 

He straightened up, placing his arm on Naruto’s. “Kiba’s right: you need to let it go.”

 

Naruto sighed, running a hand though his hair. “I don’t know if I can.”

 

“At least think about it?”                                                                          

 

Naruto nodded slowly, but wasn’t particularly sold on the idea. He jolted up, only now really processing his friend’s earlier words. “Wait, are you okay Shikamaru?”

 

He gave a sharp smile. “My problems are exactly that: my problems. Don’t worry Naruto, I’m okay.”

 

They entered the bar, almost bumping into the rest of the group coming out. “Don’t bother – there aren’t any tables and the line’s ridiculous.” Ino pouted, arms crossed. “Don’t suppose you guys know a spot that’ll be quieter on a Saturday night?”

 

With Sasuke still at the back of his mind, Naruto had a flash of inspiration. “I know a place that might be good. It’s only a five minute walk. You guys keen to try something, eh… new?”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“Well it’s certainly different.” Chouji remarked fairly, being the first to break the awkward silence.

 

The whisky bar was exactly as Naruto remembered it from his previous visit with Sasuke: warm, homely, and full of all kinds of people. As a door opened at the back, heavy, violent-sounding music assaulted them before the doorman closed them again.

 

“I don’t know Naruto…” Ino began, looking uncomfortable.

 

Sai was more straight to the point. “This place is a dump.”

 

“Come on guys, give it a chance,” Naruto pleaded, trying to ignore Sai’s bluntness. “The drinks are cheap, and I really like this place.”

 

It was a half-truth: while the bar had grown on him, he was really here to find Sasuke. He’d considered coming back a few times, but his nervousness had always got the best of him. Now, however, with some liquid courage, Naruto felt it was worth a shot.

 

They were in luck, managing to quickly snag a table vacated by a large group of punks. Naruto noticed one of them, a short man with a dirty blond Mohawk, made sure to take all their empty glasses up to the bar. He gave the staff a cheerful wave as he squeezed past Shino, throwing on a shabby leather battle vest.

 

Shikamaru deftly threw his jacket over the back of a chair to claim the table, pulling out his wallet. “I’m game for a few drinks if everyone else is.”

 

Chouji shrugged. “Why not? Expand your horizons, all that shit.”

 

Shino, Hinata and Kiba all agreed, making their way to the bar; Ino and Sai declined. Naruto told them he’d catch up, pretending to look for the toilet. Heading left through a stone arch, he passed the door to the stage Sasuke had talked about. Close up you could hear the screams of the singer, the rest of the band fuzzy through the thick walls. He paused for a second, how much he liked it surprising him.

 

_I guess he’s rubbing off on me…_

He continued through to the other end of the building: it was set up so the back of the main bar functioned as a divider between two rooms, becoming a sort of island the staff were constantly circling. He checked every table, but he couldn’t see Sasuke anywhere. He’d half expected it: what were the odds he’d run into him a second time in a city this big? He noticed the bartender pouring a line of shots was the same one that had served them last time: in a last ditch effort, he decided to go over and ask.

 

It took a few minutes to get served, but when Naruto ordered the barman seemed to recognise him. Placing the whisky down on the counter he leaned forward and frowned, asking “Haven’t seen you or your friend here for a while, is he okay? It’s not like him to be out of here for more than a few days.”

 

Naruto shook his head. “I was hoping you’d be able to tell me. Last time I saw him was about three weeks ago.”

 

The man nodded grimly as he gathered empties from the cluttered bar. He held up a finger and left, returning a second later with a list of bars scrawled on a receipt. He handed it to Naruto, ignoring a drunk girl trying to get his attention by waving her empty glass at him. “Here’s a few bars I think he frequents, try those. Just describe him: even in this city, he kinda sticks out.”

 

Fervently thanking him, Naruto took a quick glance at the list as he stuffed it into his wallet. He recognised very few of the names, and the ones he did he’d only ever walked past. Disappointed, but glad he had somewhere to go next, he made his way back to his friends.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

A few drinks later, and everyone seemed slightly more at home: they’d fallen into easy conversation, and even Ino and Sai seemed to be warming to the place.

 

Naruto sat back down with his most recent order, handing a glass to Shikamaru. “Here, you like whisky, right? Try this.”

 

He nodded his thanks, listening intently to the end of Chouji’s anecdote.

 

“…so there’s the junior chef, arms full of our finest steak, halfway out the door! Apparently there’s a big market for it, so he’d been selling it on the side for weeks.”

 

Shikamaru took a sip of the offered glass, frowning as he handed it back. “Damn, that’s good.” He turned back to Chouji. “So what did you do?”

 

“Yeah, some douchebag’s eating into your dad’s profits? I wouldn’t let him get off easy.” Kiba said with a wolfish grin.

 

“I didn’t. In fact I, ehh, may have gone overboard. I mean I was doing the dishes at the time, and-” He gave an embarrassed laugh. “I threw a frying pan at him.”

 

The entire table erupted in laughter, save for Sai, who still smiled despite himself. Kiba was just about ending himself, tears forming at the sides of his eyes. “Oh my God dude, did you hit him?”

 

“Yeah, actually. Headshot.” He grimaced.

 

Hinata giggled. “Oh wow. Did you get into trouble?”

 

“He got arrested, and the officer gave me a telling off for being ‘slightly too enthusiastic.’”

 

Kiba started laughing even harder, bringing his pint up to toast Chouji. He grinned ruefully, his glass meeting Kiba’s. “Anyway, that’s how I got the nickname ‘Steak Guardian: Guardian of the Steak.’ And a promotion to Junior Chef.”

 

Shikamaru leaned forward as the laughter died down, his elbows on the table. “Say you guys… anyone feeling adventurous?”

 

Kiba cocked his head, a quizzical look in his eye. Naruto recognised that look: Kiba was always feeling adventurous. He groaned inwardly, knowing that if he decided he was interested there’d be no stopping him.

 

Naruto had to admit, his curiosity was piqued. “What do you have in mind?”

 

“Just up the road there’s this place, Banshee’s. It’s really popular with some of my Uni friends, big with the goth and rock scene. It’s got its own movie theatre, and a ton of different bars. Apparently the cocktails are good. And-” he looked pointedly at Kiba “-they have legendary absinthe and tequila shooters.”

 

“Oh God, absinthe.” Chouji went visibly pale. “I’m never touching that shit again after graduation.”

 

_Banshee’s… where have I heard that name before?_

 

“Ah yes,” Kiba sighed, putting a hand over his heart. “I shall never forget the day we witnessed Chouji: The Magical Chunder Dragon.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Yeah guys, it isn’t funny.” Naruto interjected. “My couch was the real victim here. I don’t think it’ll ever be the same.”

 

“You guys can eat a bag of dicks.” Chouji scowled over his pint, a small smile nonetheless pulling at his lips. “Seriously though, there’s something inherently wrong with that drink.”

 

“It wasn’t the absinthe itself.” Shino piped up. “It’s because you drank half the bottle.”

 

“No, that doesn’t sound like something I’d do…” Chouji shrugged. “Fuck it, why don’t we give this a shot. Sounds like a laugh.”

 

Kiba agreed. “Fuck yeah, I’m getting us some of those shooters.”

 

Ino elbowed Sai playfully in the ribs. “Come on grumpy, looks like we’re heading off again. Banshee’s it is!”

 

It had taken Naruto a second, but he realised where he’d seen the name before: on the list of bars Sasuke might be at. As soon as it clicked he was quick to throw his vote in too.

 

_Maybe I can still do some digging tonight…_

It didn’t take them long at all to reach the new bar: it was literally just up the street, on the same road at the whisky bar. As they presented their IDs and trooped into Banshee’s, Naruto realised he’d been wrong about the patrons of the whisky bar: compared to some of the people here, they were tame.

 

A dark corridor ran up from the entrance, creepy portraits lining the walls. Rather incongruously, they passed a row of sweet machines on their left. A girl with bright green spiky hair was perusing the brightly coloured containers, a skull tattooed on the side of her thin neck. She was just one of many alternative styles, and that was just in the first corridor: there were several more branching off from the entrance, one leading downstairs, others deeper into the labyrinth.

 

Their group, Shikamaru in the lead, milled around the first bar they found, waiting to be served. Naruto made another weak excuse and split off from them to once more look for Sasuke.

 

The bar was aptly named; it was truly a labyrinth one could lose themselves in, not half aided by the drinks Naruto had downed. After several minutes of searching the cramped bars and twisting corridors, he finally saw someone he recognised: the purple-shirted man, the one who’d handed the parcel off to Sasuke after Naruto had followed him. He was wearing a tight vest in the same fuchsia colour as the shirt, one that clung to his lithe body. A drink was in one hand, his other arm around a woman’s shoulders, his strong voice carrying over to Naruto from the other side of the room. It had an arrogant, boyish quality; after just a second or two, Naruto began to despise it.

 

After staring dumbstruck for a moment, Naruto tried kicking his brain into gear. He needed information, first about this man and second, most importantly, about Sasuke. After loitering intently for a minute or two of eavesdropping, the girl at his side smirked, and a name floated over the aggressive music: Suigetsu.

 

Well, the description Sasuke gave certainly fit; so this was the partner, the lover that he had talked about. Despite his effort to control it, a hard, boiling feeling rose in his stomach. He tried his best to recall what Sasuke had about the man.

 

_Suigetsu sees no gender, only prey._

Naruto gulped: it seemed like the only feasible way he could approach this was to flirt with Suigetsu. He leaned against the wall, trying to analyse using the techniques Jiraiya had taught him.

 

_This is a bit different from reading an opponent’s moves…_

He was a confident man, that much was obvious. From the way he dressed to his posture, he oozed power and sex. If Naruto had to pick one word to describe him, it would be _sharp_ : his face was thin and pointed, his lazy smirk matching it. Harsh, almost white blond hair flowed smoothly down his face, just reaching his shoulders. Naruto figured he must work hard on his image.

 

_That’s not the only thing he’s worked hard on._

Suigetsu had cultivated his body, belonging to the league of people like Sasuke; maybe even beyond that. The tight vest left nothing to the imagination, the muscles very defined. In particular his obliques were blown out and toned, giving his hips that perfect “V” shape that so many sought after. It was a particularly hard area to train. His arms were rigid and veined, but fairly thin: Naruto reasoned he must be a swimmer or gymnast, someone that used their core in regular training. As he raised the glass – a long, dark drink – to his mouth, Naruto spied a tattoo of a sword on his inner forearm.

 

_That could be a good conversation piece._

Naruto sighed, gathering up his courage. For a second he paused, thinking about just how ridiculous the situation was: he was about to try seducing a man for information. He shook his head.

 

_Sasuke better appreciate this…_

He squeezed past several people and in next to Suigetsu. He caught Naruto’s eye, making Naruto quickly look down at his hands, resting on the bar.

 

_Christ. Come on, Naruto._

Trying to look as confident as possible, he spun round, making as if to leave the bar. He timed it just right: his elbow caught Suigetsu’s drink hand, sending the long glass crashing down on the floor.

 

“Oh shit, sorry man!” Naruto apologised, grabbing some tissues from the bar and dabbing at Suigetsu’s top, trying to linger ever so slightly. As disgusted as he felt with himself, he couldn’t deny that those abs were impressive. “Here, let me get you another.” He turned, trying to get the bartender’s attention. “What you having?”

 

For a second Naruto thought his gambit had failed: Suigetsu’s face changed from angry to incredulous, before finally settling on a cocky smirk.

 

“I think I’ll have to take you up on that. Vodka coke, double.” He leaned over and whispered something in the girl’s ear. She laughed, winking at Naruto as she walked off.

 

“So,” Naruto started off awkwardly as their drinks were fixed by a larger gentleman with dreadlocks. “What brings you out tonight?”

 

He seemed to find that funny. “What I was doing before you so rudely interrupted me. Drinking, socialising…” He sidled up to Naruto’s ear, a teasing grin on his thin face. “Looking for someone to fuck.”

 

Naruto went bright red, electing to drink as he tried to form a reply. It wasn’t that he was a prude, but the way Suigetsu emphasised the word, the unexpected candidness, it was all deliberate.

 

_He’s trying to throw me off, putting himself in control of the conversation._

Sasuke was right: Suigetsu was a predator.

 

“Seems like you’re doing well then.” Naruto eventually replied. “Your… friend seemed rather into you.”

 

“Apparently she’s not the only one.” Suigetsu said with a sly grin.

 

Now that he was closer, Naruto could see Suigetsu’s tattoo better: if the proportions of the handle to the blade was to be believed, this thing was supposed to be massive. It had a thick edge, and a hole near the end. All in all, it was a rather strange sword, but it was very well done.

 

Naruto decided to try change the subject. “I like your tattoo.”

 

“Thanks. I plan on getting a lot more.”

 

“Got a thing for swords then?”

 

Suigetsu leaned back and flashed his pointed teeth. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

 

Naruto nodded, trying not to be put off by that grin. “I’ve always thought about getting one myself. Wouldn’t know what to get though.” It wasn’t a lie: the thought had always been there, as it was something that fascinated him.

An idea suddenly struck Naruto, one that could maybe shift the conversation where he wanted it.

 

“A guy I know has this cool design on his neck. It’s like these 3 commas in a spiral, I think it’s some sort of Japanese thing, but the vague bastard never told me what it meant.”

 

“Huh, that sounds like someone I know. Black hair, Asian, fuck-your-shit attitude?”

 

Naruto grinned. “Yeah, that’s him. To be honest though, I haven’t seen him about recently. Any idea where he is?”

 

Suigetsu burst out laughing, slapping his hand down on the bar. “Aw man, I knew you wanted something, but that… holy shit dude, that was _weak_!”

 

Naruto could feel himself blushing, the heat rising in his cheeks. “No, I-”

 

“-Save it.” Suigetsu cut in. “Knocking over my drink and buying me another? That’s a classic. You’re cute though, so I thought I might let you get away with it. Imagine my surprise when it turns out you’re after Sasuke.” He arched his eyebrows and put a hand over his chest in mock offence. “I’m insulted.”

 

He grabbed his drink, stirring it with a finger before sucking it dry. “So what are you, one of his old squeezes? He’s not the type to call back.”

 

“No, it’s not like that.” Naruto argued. “He’s an old friend, and I’m worried about him.”

 

He could see that Suigetsu didn’t believe him. “Yeah, I’m sure you miss his sunny fucking disposition. Tell you what though,” he leaned in again uncomfortably close, his voice dropping to a lower register. “You’re adorably awkward. And you obviously… take care of yourself.”

 

Naruto could feel Suigetsu’s eyes raking across his body, appraising him like a slab of meat. He shakily took a drink and tried not to look at the man next to him, acutely unnerved.

 

“How about we work out a little deal?” Suigetsu asked, still too close. “I tell you where you can find Sasuke, on the condition that you be my… plaything.”

 

That was the last straw: Naruto grabbed Suigetsu by the collar and finally looked him in the eyes. “Listen here: that creepy shit might work on drunk kids with daddy issues, but not me. Where the fuck is Sasuke?”

 

“Well it worked on your Prince Charming, didn’t it? Hey, hey! Easy dude.” Suigetsu bit his lip as he looked at the hand on his chest, still smirking. “Damn man. Watching you get all alpha with me… that’s hot.”

 

“Stop fucking with me.” Naruto growled, staring the man down.

 

“Up yours, I can admire the merchandise. Now let go so we can talk. Unlike our mutual friend, I’m not always up for a fight.” He straightened up as Naruto let him go, casting a quick eye around the bar and throwing a nod at the concerned barman. “Follow me: I don’t feel like airing Sasuke’s dirty laundry in front of everyone.”

 

Suigetsu led him to a stone stairwell near the entrance, just behind one of the band rooms. Apparently no one would bother them there.

 

Suigetsu leant against the walls, arms folded but still grinning: the whole thing seemed to amuse him greatly. “Here’s the truth, kid: I have no Goddamn clue where Sasuke is. He comes and goes as he pleases, changes his phone every other week, and only answers to Orochimaru. He’s the most annoying shit to work with, but…” He shrugged. “He’s good at what he does.”

 

It took Naruto several seconds to realise why the name sounded so familiar.

 

Orochimaru.

For a second it was like he was back in Sasuke’s training room. The long, dark hair hung lank in front of a pallid, dead face. But the eyes were very much alive.

 

_‘Sasuke Uchiha…I have an offer for you.’_

Suigetsu snapped his fingers in front of Naruto’s eyes, snapping him out of his daze with a jolt. “Yo. Dude. Still with me?”

 

“Sasuke works for Orochimaru?” Naruto asked, trying to concentrate.

 

“What? Yeah, of course. He always has, as long as I’ve known him.”         

 

Naruto swore under his breath, the reality of the situation slowly dawning on him. Orochimaru was into some bad shit; specifically what, Naruto wasn’t sure, but he knew enough to be scared for his friend.

 

_What does he have on Sasuke? He can’t be doing this out of choice… but it’d explain why he was such a state the last time I saw him._

“If Orochimaru knows where Sasuke is then I need to speak to him. How do I arrange a meeting?” The words were out of his mouth before he could think it through.

 

Suigetsu shook his head condescendingly. “Not gonna happen. I don’t think you fully realise how in over your head you are.”

 

“Tell me.” Naruto growled. His patience with Suigetsu was wearing thin.

 

“Well, if you’re determined to get your shit wrecked…” He shrugged again. “Who am I to stop you? Orochimaru’s rather old fashioned: to secure a meeting with him you have to fight one of his men. One of his captains, to be precise, like me or Sasuke. Bare knuckle, no weapons. Think you can handle that?”

 

Naruto paused for a second. _A fight for a meeting? What the fuck is this guy about?_

He looked at Suigetsu, still wearing a smirk wider than his face. He felt very compelled to throw a punch that very second, but managed to contain himself.

 

“Deal. I think I have a perfect location too.”

 

Suigetsu laughed, shaking his head. “I was right. You are cute.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's getting pulled deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of Sasuke's world; will he be able to surface before he makes even more mistakes?

The setting sun cast dancing shadows through the rustling leaves, bathing the tree-lined park in an ever-shifting golden glow. Despite the late hour there were plenty of people savouring the last drops of sunlight: from their secluded corner, Naruto could see several students lying on blankets, not-so-surreptitiously enjoying a few beers, a few people walking dogs and even a late-night jogger or two.

 

“Naruto. Focus.”

 

Naruto guiltily broke away from his daze, apologising. “Sorry Jiraiya. Guess I’m just not all here tonight.”

 

His teacher, sat cross-legged in front of him in his usual half-lotus, sighed and nodded. “You can say that again. Come on, we’re supposed to be meditating. It’s an important part of your training, even if you’re not entirely convinced yet.”

 

“No, it’s not that,” Naruto replied quickly, feeling even worse. He laughed awkwardly, “I mean, I wasn’t sure at the beginning, but I trusted you. And I think I’m getting a bit better.”

 

Jiraiya nodded again, this time relenting slightly. “I must admit, despite your… wobbly start, you’re doing really well. You always have been a fast learner.”

 

“I think ‘wobbly’ is putting it mildly.”

 

“But the important thing is you persevered. Let’s call it quits for today.” He straightened up and yawned, the easy, good-natured smile returning to his face. “Anything on your mind today? You’ve been very distracted.”

 

Naruto hesitated midway through stretching, unsure as how to phrase the several hundred questions he had. Jiraiya was always able to notice; in truth he’d been worrying for the entire week about this fight with Suigetsu. It was happening in a few hours and he had no idea if he was going to be able to pull it off. It had been a drunk, spur-of-the-moment decision, but if he was honest with himself he would make the same decision again, a thousand times if need be.

 

He must have zoned out again for a second, because he jumped when Jiraiya gently waved in front of his face. “Earth to Naruto? Seriously, I’m worried about you. Haven’t seen you this spaced in a while.”

 

“No, I’m okay. It’s just…” Naruto scratched his jaw, trying to figure out exactly how to phrase the question. “I need advice. So say you knew you needed to fight someone. And there was no negotiating, no running… how do you gain the edge in a fight like that?”

 

Jiraiya frowned. “I’m sure I’ve told you this before. You fight dirty. Anything you can use to stop yourself getting hurt.”

 

“What if I… didn’t want to? I mean, what if-”

 

“-they were your friend?” Jiraiya cut in, his brow furrowed in concern. “You want to know what to do if you run into Sasuke again, don’t you?”

 

Naruto blinked in surprise; it was an unexpected answer, but it worked in context. “Eh… yeah. Yeah.”

 

Jiraiya hesitated for a second, seeming to weigh his words. “The only advice I can give you is this: the first time you properly fight someone, no advice can really suffice.”

 

“And what he did to me doesn’t count?” Naruto asked, rather insulted.

 

There was another pause, punctuated briefly by a dog’s playful bark in the dying light. Jiraiya stood, gazing through the trees at the setting sun, his eyes far off. “You know, they say that real fighters, true fighters, can read each other’s mind with nothing but an exchange of fists. Do you believe that Naruto?”

 

He shrugged, taking a second to realise that Jiraiya couldn’t see him. “I dunno. Can you really know what anyone’s thinking?”

 

“I’ve been in a lot of fights, Naruto, through a lot of years. My first two… they always stand out. As you know, I signed up for military service as soon as I was able: I had this grand notion that it would be some sort of adventure. But I didn’t sign up alone.”

 

Naruto almost did a double take. Jiraiya had vaguely alluded to some of his service before – Naruto had always got the distinct impression that he didn’t like talking about it – but this was the first time he’d mentioned another person.

 

“I grew up with this guy. I might have once described him as a brother, before… before everything happened. Halfway through our first tour – my only tour – he was caught selling secrets. He tried to run, I tried to stop him… without guns.” Jiraiya shook his head, smiling slightly. “It was stupid, but that was me all over: young and stupid. Some would tell you that hasn’t changed.”

The smile quickly faded. “The only reason I didn’t end up in a bodybag was because he felt he had something to prove.”

 

Naruto put the dots together: the boy Jiraiya had trained with, they must have enlisted together. “Your friend, right?” He asked, needing confirmation. “The one you grew up with.”

 

Jiraiya nodded grimly. “Yeah. I told you it hadn’t ended well. After that, I thought I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of someone’s hatred. I thought I knew what it was to properly fight someone. It wasn’t until a few months later that I realised how wrong I was.

 

“Remember I told you that I met my first students during my time in the army? There’s a little more to it than that. My unit blazed through their village in a firefight. We had to move through the houses, making sure they didn’t take hostages. I got charged, and had to take one down hand-to-hand. It didn’t last long, but the hatred, the fear in that man’s eyes… it haunted me for a long, long time.”

 

He sighed, running a hand over his face. “I met my friend a few times after that. And every time, his eyes looked more and more like that soldier’s. Eventually there wasn’t anything left of the person I knew.”

 

Naruto was dumbstruck: sometimes he forgot just how intense a life Jiraiya had led.

 

“Now, Naruto, the point of all this: when Sasuke fought you, what did you feel from him?”

 

Naruto closed his eyes, trying to remember. “He was angry, but I don’t think it was really at me: it was like I was just in the way. And upset too. Something had shaken him.”

 

Jiraiya nodded. “That’s what I thought: Sasuke wasn’t after you. He hurt you to stop you. Now, going up against someone that wants solely to hurt you, maybe even kill you… I hope you never have to do that Naruto. The only advice I could ever give was to keep a level head, and keep analysing them the way I taught you.”

 

Jiraiya suddenly grinned, the large smile incongruous with the preceding grim conversation. “But remember, you always have me on your side, and I’m not about to let my Godson be beaten to a pulp: if you think someone’s after you, no matter how much you may or may not have fucked up, I’ll always be here for you. Okay?”

 

The thought infinitely reassured Naruto: no matter the result of this stupid machismo battle, Jiraiya could help if he really got in over his head. “Thanks Jiraiya.”

 

“Okay, now let’s get some food. I’m starving…”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto was running late.

 

It was his own fault: Jiraiya wanted to get a proper meal and, even though he knew he didn’t have time for it, he’d agreed. He always found it hard to say no to his teacher. As he waited anxiously for a set of traffic lights to change, he tried to think on what Jiraiya had said.

 

_Analyse the enemy. Suigetsu._

He was arrogant, that much was plain to see. It could give Naruto the edge if Suigetsu underestimated him... but not if he was taking it seriously. And despite his playful nature, Naruto was sure he was being serious. His fighting style would probably involve a lot of dodges, more flexibility and fluidity than he was used to. A sadist? Quite possibly.

 

As he approached Sasuke’s training hall, he didn’t see Suigetsu waiting for him. Or anyone else for that matter: would others be there? Having Suigetsu there would be bad enough, but the idea of criminals arriving unannounced at the training hall seemed… wrong. He swore under his breath. That was a massive oversight on his part: drunk Naruto did not make good decisions.

 

He swung the bag over his shoulder as he inserted his key into the lock, the few others he had on the chain jangling against the door, but found he wasn’t able to fully turn it. It took him a beat to realise what was wrong.

 

The door was already open.

 

Naruto went cold: could he simply have forgotten to lock it, or… or was Suigetsu already inside? He stepped back, checking the door for any signs of forced entry. Nothing was amiss, except for a few cigarette butts in the doorway. One was fresh, the end still a dull, ashy glow.

 

Naruto suddenly got the strangest mental image of Suigetsu conducting a fight club in his training hall, à la Brad Pitt. He was covered in sweat and a smattering of blood, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, those stupidly good obliques visible above low-riding jeans – the only thing he happened to be wearing.

 

Naruto paused for a second, deciding it was probably a good idea to ignore the things his brain was supplying him with. He had noticed he’d been having some rather peculiar thoughts recently; the best thing to do was ignore them. He sighed, trying to shake the image from his mind and prepare himself for what he might find inside.

 

It certainly wasn’t what he expected.

 

In the middle of the wooden floor sat a solitary man, cross-legged, facing the far wall. A thin line of smoke rose from in front of him, the familiar smell of incense flooding his sinuses. Naruto instantly recognised that feathery black hair; if that wasn’t enough, the baggy white shirt had rode down his neck as he leaned forward, revealing a very distinctive tattoo.

 

Sasuke straightened up, taking a deep breath. “Good of you to show up, Naruto.”

 

“W-what are you doing here?” Naruto eventually choked out, letting his bag fall to the floor.

 

“Did you know Samurai used to light incense to purify their minds before battle?” He asked, ignoring the question. He stretched his neck from one side to the other, drawing the motion out. “You’ve really fucked up this time, haven’t you?”

 

It was very subtle, but even without seeing his face Naruto knew something was off about Sasuke: his shoulders were set, his whole frame tight, contrasting with his usual relaxed posture.

 

_Sasuke’s angry. Or is it something else?_

 

“But wasn’t Suigetsu-”

 

Sasuke stood up, a single fluid motion so sudden it cut Naruto off. “I don’t think you quite understand the gravity of the situation.”

 

Naruto seemed to get over his shock as quickly as it had come over him. “You jumped out of the goddamn window you psychopath!” He shouted, taking a few steps closer.

 

“Don’t get hung up on the details. What did you agree to, Naruto?”

 

Once more, it seemed the only way to move forward was to play Sasuke’s game. He felt like a scolded child. “I fight Suigetsu for a meeting with Orochimaru.”

 

“Well I guess we can rule out you being oblivious… to be honest, I wouldn’t have been half surprised.”

 

Naruto’s patience was wearing thin, Sasuke’s spiteful tone getting to him. “What do you want Sasuke? I didn’t come here to be insulted; I came here to get the full story from your boss, since you’re being a little bitch.”

 

Sasuke whirled round, finally facing Naruto, eyes razor sharp. Naruto had been wrong before: he wasn’t angry, he was furious. “And why the fuck would you want to do that? You were here the first time he came for me, or did you forget?” He spat the words, the first time in quite a while Naruto had heard him get this angry.

 

Naruto gritted his teeth. “I didn’t.

 

“Then you’ll remember just how dangerous he is.”

 

“Well colour me concerned, but if he’s so dangerous why the fuck are you working for him?” Naruto yelled, losing his cool again.

 

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “What I do is my business Naruto, not yours.”

 

“So what, I’m just supposed to let-”

 

“-You don’t ‘let’ me do anything. If you respected me at all you’d leave me alone. I’ll say it one more time: it’s none of your goddamn business.”

 

Naruto gritted his teeth, frustrated: nothing he said seemed to get through to him. Part of him was worried he was right, too.

_Is it wrong to keep pursuing him like this? Is it as patronising as it feels to him?_

“I just…” Naruto sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just want to help you, Sasuke.”

 

Sasuke seemed to relent slightly, his shoulders dipping and losing some of their stiffness. “I know you’re trying to help me, but you’re in over your head. If we’re lucky I’ve stopped this in its tracks. It never reaches Orochimaru. Suigetsu owes me a few favours, I can trust him.”

 

“But Sasuke, I-”

 

“Drop it, Naruto.” Sasuke paused, turning away from him. He crouched down, snuffing the incense with his fingers. “You know what happens if you keep pushing this, and... I don’t enjoy it.”

 

Naruto didn’t know what to say. Sasuke picked up the small black burner, carrying it over to the small kitchen area next to the door. It was only as he hopped smoothly off the platform Naruto noticed that he was barefoot, his black boots left untied by the small step. He made virtually no noise as he padded past, his movement more relaxed and collected than before.

 

_Even after all this time, he still cares about this place and its rules…_

“Well,” Naruto began awkwardly, still not sure how to respond to the sudden change in tone. “It wouldn’t be quite as easy for you this time around. To kick my ass.”

 

Sasuke nodded, setting the wirework burner gently in a cupboard. “So I see. Jiraiya has you working hard.” He walked slowly over to his boots, looking back over his shoulder at Naruto. He seemed to hesitate, a second of indecision flitting across his face before settling on that rare, genuine half-smile. “How about you show me?”

 

Naruto was sure he’d misheard. “Pardon?”

 

Sasuke continued past his boots, back up onto the platform. “You say you’ve got better. Show me.” He turned around, spreading his arms slightly before letting them fall back at his sides. “I mean… when was the last time we sparred?”

 

“I… I guess it feels like it’s been years.” He quipped, trying not to appear over-excited.

 

He slipped his shoes and socks off, thinking for a second before he shrugged off his hoodie as well. He shook his arms out as he joined his friend, the long sleeved compression shirt clinging to his sore limbs; even after getting used to Jiraiya’s tough regime, he still couldn’t get rid of the dull ache that pulsed through his tired body.

 

As he watched Sasuke stretch his neck from side to side once again, he realised he was more nervous than the last few times they’d actually fought. He jumped up and down a few times, trying to rid himself of that anxiety and just focus on the task at hand.

 

_I’m not going to lose to Sasuke: not when he doesn’t have the element of surprise._

 

Sasuke adopted a casual fighting stance: Naruto found it funny that his posture was more relaxed now, at the beginning of a fight, than when they were arguing.

 

_Fighting always did come naturally to Sasuke…_

Naruto raised his own fists, half open, his left extended and right up by his head. He pushed up onto the balls of his feet, bouncing lightly, moving slightly on the spot. Kakashi had taught his students to always be ready to move (a habit enforced with push-ups if they weren’t), and it had served him well; Sasuke, on the other hand, favoured the stillness that Naruto had always found slightly disquieting. Despite appearances, Naruto knew that he’d be faster than most would believe.

 

Sasuke waited for Naruto to make the first move. It was just like the old days: when sparring Sasuke was calm and patient, all his problems seeming to melt away. He had always been miles ahead of Naruto of course, a true prodigy, but on the rare occasions he had agreed to fight he had always been encouraging.

 

Naruto led with a right hook, a nice simple start. Sasuke dodged effortlessly, leaning backwards, making Naruto grin despite himself. It was exactly the familiar move he’d been expecting. Quickly sliding his left foot in, he snapped his right up in an explosive head-height side kick: he wasn’t going easy on Sasuke.

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened slightly, unable to back up any further. Instead he dropped, Naruto’s foot sailing over his head. Naruto brought the foot down, hoping to still catch him with an axe kick, but felt a sharp slap against his leg, sending him spinning away to the side.

 

Naruto regained his footing, turning sharply to face Sasuke. Still squatting, he rested his hands on his thighs, evidently amused. “Well, you aren’t holding back, are you?”

 

Naruto smiled despite his slightly stinging thigh. “Did you just palm strike me? That’s some Shaolin Monk shit right there.”

 

Sasuke exhaled through his nose, closing his eyes but still smiling. “The palm strike is used in-”

 

“-in a variety of martial arts dating back thousands of years.” Naruto finished, grinning smugly. “You told me that the first time you used them on me, remember?”

 

Sasuke pushed himself up, shaking his head. “That look doesn’t suit you.”

 

“What, remind you too much of yourself?”

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “As a matter of fact, yes. Only I get to be that cocky.” He stepped forward, raising his arms once more.

 

“En garde!” Naruto shouted, with a goofy grin, before launching himself towards his friend again.

 

Sasuke mostly blocked or dodged the attacks, only occasionally delivering a hit of his own. Naruto managed to catch him in the ribs, taking a shin to the stomach not a second later. Grabbing the offending limb before Sasuke could retract it, he gave it a good tug to bring Sasuke off his feet. But he once again managed to use it to his advantage, pulling off a backwards handspring that almost left Naruto with a foot to the face.

 

“Holy shit,” Naruto laughed, trying to press the assault while Sasuke was recovering his balance. “I could make a joke about the Chinese gymnastics team.”

 

“I’m Japanese, you fuck.” Sasuke growled, swatting aside Naruto’s hand.

 

“I know,” he replied, in between punches. “But- it’s funnier- to wind you up.”

 

Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand as it missed his head once again, pulling him close and sweeping his legs away from under him. Naruto fell like a ton of bricks, landing hard on his back.

 

“Gymnastics team that.” Sasuke laughed, a playfulness in his voice that Naruto hadn’t heard for years. Naruto grinned, despite being slightly winded.

 

He scrambled up again, eager for more. Sasuke engaged him once again, the intensity ramping up: it seemed like Sasuke’s competitive nature was taking over his earlier restraint. Blows were struck thick and fast, Naruto managing to keep pace with most of them. They broke apart several times, only to come back together almost immediately. The gentle ribbing was gone; Naruto could feel his smile fade as concentration took over, and soon it became all he could do to keep up.

 

Several minutes passed, the two men exchanging a multitude of blows in silence. For a while it seemed like no one had the upper hand, but slowly Sasuke gained the edge. He ducked a sloppy hook from Naruto, popping up behind the fist to grab his collar. Sasuke pushed, once again using his feet to topple Naruto. Out of desperation, Naruto grabbed the baggy shirt in front of him, using his momentum to bring the other man down on top of him. As quickly as possible, he planted a foot in Sasuke’s stomach, only kicking off when his back slammed into the floor. Sasuke went flying over him, landing with a dull thud on the wood.

 

Naruto drew in breath, the wind knocked out of him. “So… was that as good for you as it was for me?”

 

Sasuke did the funny little laugh-exhale that Naruto had come to associate so strongly with him. “Oh yeah baby.” He replied, totally deadpan. “You really rocked my world.”

 

“They all say that.” Naruto continued in an over-the-top ‘tough guy’ accent. He hadn’t meant it to, but it sounded very similar to Patrick Warburton. “Now all I need is a cigarette to light and I’ll be the epitome of cool.”

 

“You know the rules, you only burn incense in here. If you wanna smoke go outside.”

 

“I-I was joking. I don’t smoke.” Naruto stopped awkwardly, again unsure what he could say to follow that. He was grateful when Sasuke filled the void.

 

“You never know. A lot can change in 3 years.”

 

“Yeah… some things don’t though.” Naruto tilted his head so he could see Sasuke, still lying on the floor like he was. “You still really respect this place, for one.”

 

He made a non-committal grunt. “Old habits. Besides, this is your training space now.”

 

“And… well, fighting you still feels great.”

 

Sasuke, hands behind his head, looked up at Naruto. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. It just feels… good. Different from sparring with other people.” Naruto quickly looked away, blushing slightly. “I dunno, it’s probably just nostalgia or something, I-”

 

“No, I know what you mean.” Sasuke interrupted quietly.

 

Naruto looked up again: this time it was Sasuke staring very resolutely at the ceiling, but instead of his usual stone-face apathy or rare bouts of emotion, he looked… calm. His face had relaxed, his thin lips parted very slightly and the creases gone from his forehead.

 

“It’s like when…” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. “Actually, never mind.”

 

“Come on, you can tell me.”

 

“It’s just… it’s like when we were kids. Before any of this… bullshit. It’s nice.”

 

It was nice to hear that from Sasuke: Naruto closed his eyes, just enjoying the moment. “I’m glad you feel like that. Maybe we can make it a habit?” When he didn’t get a response, Naruto tried to deviate from that particular sentiment. “But hey, it’s not all the same: you can’t kick my ass nearly as easily now.”

 

Naruto opened his eyes a second later to Sasuke’s knee pressed gently to his throat, a strong hand grasping his hair.

 

“Don’t flatter yourself, Naruto.” Sasuke said, though not cruelly: a gentle smile was on his face, his eyes amused once again.

 

Naruto’s mouth flopped open like a landed fish: he hadn’t even heard Sasuke get up, never mind close enough to completely pin him. “H-how…”

 

Sasuke winked – Naruto didn’t think he’d ever seen his friend do _that_ before – and released him, standing up. “Trade secret.”

 

Sasuke sat at the edge of the platform, lacing up his Doc Martins. Naruto rubbed his neck, glad that he hadn’t decided to apply his full weight: a move like that could kill a man if done right. All of his frustrations came back in droves. What good was all this extra training if Sasuke could still beat him that easily?

 

“You’ve got a lot better, Naruto.” Sasuke said as he finished up his boots, standing once more. He grabbed his jacket off the hook at the door, rummaging in the pockets and pulling out a box of cigarettes. “Really, I’m impressed. I was struggling for a second there. But…”

 

Naruto was beginning to get agitated again, the arrogance creeping back into Sasuke’s voice. “But what?” He asked through gritted teeth,

 

“But it’s best I stay out your life. For your own good.”

 

“Don’t fucking tell me what’s good for me!” Naruto yelled, slamming his fist into the floor. “I’m not giving up on you Sasuke, you hear me?”

 

Sasuke nodded, a strange smile playing about his face.

 

“I know.”

 

Then he was gone again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto can't get Sasuke, or his friend's troubling circumstances, out of his head. Despite deciding not to interfere in Sasuke's business, an uninvited guest may well undo that decision.

 

Naruto sighed as he flicked the corner of an open book, looking around the small reception area. It wasn’t that there was nothing to do, exactly. His job at Jiraiya’s publishing offices wasn’t exactly the most intense work ever, so he had recently taken to reading in his spare time; a computer sat in front of him, off-white and outdated, but it still ran Facebook and other sites just fine; if he was really bored he could reorder the folders on said computer, since Jiraiya’s archaic filing system was apparently stuck with the PC in the nineties.

 

But despite the abundance of activities, Naruto didn’t particularly feel like doing anything. Except maybe sleep. After everything that had happened in the last few days, he had found it hard to get any rest. He caught himself looking at the clock and, almost as a reflex, counting the hours since he’d last seen Sasuke.

 

_11:36. Fourteen hours since I saw him._

Naruto frowned, trying not to think about it, but so much had happened in such a short period of time. He was still trying to process it, trying to get it straight in his head.

 

_Poor Sasuke… Imagine working for that creep. I just wish there was something I could do._

He had decided that, for now anyway, he would honour Sasuke’s request: charging into the situation blind appeared to have dire consequences for his friend. The last thing he wanted to do was make it worse.

 

He frustratedly closed the book in front of him; it was a good read, but he couldn’t concentrate on it today. He placed it to the side of the desk, the cover catching his eye for a second. A behemoth of a spaceship dominated the front, aglow with red and green lights. Naruto was still sometimes surprised by Sakura’s choice in fiction: just over a year ago, when Naruto started reading at the behest of Jiraiya (strong mind, strong body was his ethos), Sakura had decided they should start sending each other their favourites. The act of posting one of their belongings, especially something as intimate as a book, really helped Naruto feel connected to her while she was away.

 

_Speaking of Sakura…_

He still hadn’t told her that Sasuke had even visited him on the anniversary of his parents’ death, let alone the events of last night. As silly as it was, he felt like trying to look after Sasuke was best kept to himself. He knew how it would look to others: stupid Naruto, still just running after Sasuke, even after he hurt him…

 

_But it’s different now. Isn’t it?_

He grabbed a stack of papers from the other side of his desk, supposing he better actually do some work if he wasn’t going to be doing anything else. He separated out the important documents, absent-mindedly making aeroplanes out of waste paper. He launched them lazily to the other side of the room, aiming for the bin next to the faded sofa in the corner; he had a perfectly good bin next to him, but this made things more interesting.

 

The open window next to the sofa kept blowing the paper off-course, the late July wind carrying a little bite. So Naruto kept trying, the room slowly being littered with crashed planes. It was just starting to cheer him up a little when he accidentally drew the edge of the paper across the tip of his finger, resulting in a deep papercut.

 

“Fuck!” He yelped, mostly out of reflex; it stung more than anything.

 

“Dangerous job, isn’t it?” A low, smooth voice interrupted his thoughts. Naruto jumped, not aware the door had opened. He swung around to apologise for not seeing them, and stopped dead in his tracks.

 

Standing in the doorway was a pale, well-dressed man. His long, black hair hung lank to midriff, framing a gaunt face. He wore a pale beige shirt and a horrible coy smile, somehow still managing to exude power despite looking like a walking corpse.

 

Although he’d only seen it once, that face had been burned into his mind. His heart seemed to stop for a second before kicking into overdrive, adrenaline flooding his body. For the first time in a long time, Naruto felt like a scared kid again.

 

_Orochimaru_

He looked exactly the same as he had four years ago, almost inhumanly pale, the smile tugging at his thin lips. And there was something profoundly wrong with his eyes, something predatory. Not the playful pursuit that Suigetsu possessed – and not the fact that he seemed to be wearing purple eyeshadow - but something cold. Like a snake.

 

As suddenly as he was struck dumb, Naruto seemed to find his voice. “What are you doing here?” He asked, feeling like it wasn’t him saying the words. It sounded strong and defiant; the complete opposite of how he felt.

 

Orochimaru straightened out the collar of the shirt with a skeletal hand, apparently nonplussed. “So you know who I am?” He asked, voice just dripping with condescension. It made Naruto feel about three feet tall. “Most impressive.”

 

He pushed off the doorframe, stepping casually around the paper planes strewn across the floor. Naruto found his movement to be strangely disconcerting, taking a second to realise why: despite his step being light, it was perfectly deliberate. He not so much walked around them as through them, seemingly by chance that he hit none, perfectly balanced.

 

It confirmed Naruto’s fears – it was the same way Jiraiya moved. The way a fighter moved.

 

He strolled over to Naruto’s left, to the framed photo of Jiraiya next to the window. It was the one he’d used in all his books, starting shortly after leaving the army. Apparently the publicist had begged him to use any other picture, and it was clear why: head thrown back mid-laugh, that signature wide, goofy grin… all in all it wasn’t a very professional photo. But it was so unabashedly Jiraiya, the perfect representation of his mentor and friend. It’s what made it Naruto’s favourite photo of him; to have Orochimaru standing in front of it, a slight frown on his face, made Naruto feel… wrong.

 

He steeled his resolve, trying to keep his voice level. “I’m not gonna ask you again: why are you here?”

 

Orochimaru made a small noise of amusement in his throat. “Can’t a man just drop by on an old friend?”

 

“We’re not friends.”

 

Orochimaru looked over his shoulder at Naruto, disdain written across his face. “What makes you think I was talking about you?” He turned back to the frame, cocking his head slightly as he examined it. “He can’t have been much older than you when this was taken. Come to think of it, you two even look alike.”

 

It took several seconds for his words to sink in, and for Naruto to make the connection.

 

_How does this creep know Jiraiya?_

“That was a compliment, by the way,” Orochimaru responded to Naruto’s stunned silence. He turned to look back at him again, his thin eyebrows raised. “Are you usually-”

 

“-Why the Hell would Jiraiya have anything to do with someone like you?” Naruto yelled, snapping again.

 

_He’s just trying to get in my head, there’s no way that’s true._

There was a few seconds pause, Naruto’s heavy breathing the only sound in the still room. “…This dense?” Orochimaru finished slowly, amused. “You know you make an awful first impression.”

 

 _First_ _impression?_

Evidently Orochimaru didn’t recognise him from their first meeting in Sasuke’s training room. _Considering the things I said, that’s probably a good thing…_ Naruto thought, wincing.

 

“But yes,” Orochimaru continued, pushing a lock of lank hair behind his ear. “I doubt Jiraiya mentioned little old me. After all, we only grew up together, enlisted together, fought half a war together… and then against one another.”

 

He grinned as the realisation dawned on Naruto’s face. “There it is…” he continued mockingly. “I guess Jiraiya didn’t forget my story after all. A cautionary after-school special, I’m sure.”

 

_Orochimaru was… Jiraiya’s Sasuke?_

“If you’re here for Jiraiya-” Naruto started, fists clenched, before being cut off.

 

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, I’m not here for the old man. I’ve had my fun with him.”

 

Still trying to process this bombshell, Naruto’s mouth was on autopilot. “I’m sure it was just peachy, up until you almost killed him.”

 

“Would you believe me if I said it was?” Orochimaru laughed, an unpleasant oily sound. “The few times we met afterwards made that seem positively cordial. So where is he?”

 

“Since your ass isn’t getting thrown out the door in two pieces, I think you can tell he’s not here.” Naruto sounded braver than he felt: like last time, he was perfectly aware of how powerful the man in front of him was.

 

_If he scares even Sasuke… I’ve no chance._

 

Orochimaru suddenly swooped over to Naruto, planting his hands on the cluttered desk. “Oh good, I was worried the old man would interrupt us. I’m done with him. He bores me. There are much more interesting people in this fair city of ours… people like you, Naruto.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Hmm,” Orochimaru nodded, leaning further across the desk. “Now tell me: what are you to Sasuke Uchiha?”

 

The world seemed to stop dead as Sasuke’s words echoed in Naruto’s head: _“If we’re lucky I’ve stopped this in its tracks. Orochimaru doesn’t need to know.”_

Evidently, Orochimaru knew.

 

“He’s…” Naruto paused for a second, his fear betraying him. “He’s my friend.”

 

Orochimaru’s mocking grin grew wider. “Oh, he’s your _friend_ , is he? Very interesting.”

 

Naruto didn’t like that smile one bit. “I thought I had to earn a meeting with you.”

 

“Oh, and normally you would. But when our mutual friend intervened, I just had to see what all the fuss was about. I’m nothing if not curious.” He backed up slightly, head bowed. “A friend, hmm? I thought maybe…” He trailed off, hands like pale spiders slowly dragging back across the table.

 

Naruto had no idea what to say as Orochimaru straightened up, a finger smoothing over his collar again. “I’m sure Sasuke’s very lucky to have you fighting his corner.” His eyes snapped up again, fixing on Naruto’s. They looked utterly mad. “I’d be careful if I were you: accidents tend to happen to the overly curious.”

 

He turned, leaving Naruto frozen in his chair. Absent-mindedly pulling a phone out of his pocket, Orochimaru dialled a single button and held it to his ear. “…Yes, get ready to leave. I’ve wasted enough time here.”

 

With Orochimaru walking away, every fibre of Naruto’s being screamed to let him go and be thankful he hadn’t been left with a broken neck. But he kept thinking of Sasuke, and the pain this man had put him through.

 

_I can’t let it happen like this!_

Naruto leapt up, the chair crashing to the ground behind him. Promises be damned, he was going to give this creep a piece of his mind. “Hey!” He yelled, pointing a finger at the departing figure. “Your freaky make-up wearing ass can make threats all you want, but I’m only gonna tell you this once: whatever you have on Sasuke, let him go!”

 

The only sound in the small room was once again Naruto’s heavy breathing as Orochimaru stopped deathly still, his hand still on the doorknob. He let it go, hand falling to his side.

 

And he laughed.

 

Orochimaru turned slowly, clapping his hands. “Bravo! I have to say, I was convinced this trip wasn’t worth my time.” His expression changed as he dropped his hands, grinning at Naruto from under his brow. “Oh how wrong I was. You know, I think that little outburst jogged my memory. It must have been… three, four years? You haven’t changed much: still just a scared child running his mouth.”

 

Naruto tried to hold onto his anger, despite the chill creeping up his neck. “Listen pal, I don’t give a shit about you or whatever you get up to in your spare time. Just let Sasuke go!”

 

“You seem to be labouring under the delusion that I’ve, what, blackmailed your friend into working for me? Let me tell you a little something about Sasuke Uchiha.” Orochimaru took a slow step closer, voice dropping low and menacing, clearly relishing the words. “Sasuke does what he does because he _loves_ it. He follows my every command, my every whim, because that’s who he really is. Sasuke Uchiha came to me, just like I told you he would.”

 

“Get fucked, Sasuke wouldn’t work for you unless he was being forced to.” Naruto snarled.

 

“Ask him yourself, the next time he decides to drop by.” Orochimaru laughed, his voice full of a disturbing child-like glee. “Ask him about the people he’s hurt. Ask him about the lives he’s destroyed. Ask him why he gets off on being beaten within an inch of his life every other weekend.”

 

He finished his slow walk to Naruto’s desk, reaching out and patting him on the cheek. “It’s because he’s sick like me.” He finished, that disturbing smile plastered across his face.

 

The door burst open, slamming against the wall with a tremendous bang. Suddenly Jiraiya was standing behind Orochimaru.

 

“Get your goddamn hand off my student before I rip it off.” He growled.

 

“I was wondering when you’d show up, Jiraiya.” Orochimaru said pleasantly, not appearing to be intimidated in the slightest. Nevertheless, his hand dropped to his side. “I was having a lovely conversation with young Naruto here, and-”

 

“Do I have to throw you out?” Jiraiya interrupted, eyes not leaving Orochimaru.

 

Orochimaru turned to fully face Jiraiya, hands in his pockets but chin tilted up to look the taller man in the eye. “I’d like to see you try, old man.”

 

The moment seemed to stretch out into eternity: Orochimaru’s twisted smile, Jiraiya’s gritty stare, and Naruto wondering whether he’d have to leap over the desk and separate the two. Eventually, after what seemed to be an age, the moment was broken; Orochimaru looked down, the smile fading slightly.

 

“As much as I’d love to wander down memory lane with you Jiraiya, I do have things to do today…” He trailed off, still looking rather smug. “Maybe some other time.”

 

“Maybe go fuck yourself.” It was the first time Naruto had ever heard his teacher swear. “If you come anywhere near here again, you leave in a bodybag.”

 

Orochimaru’s eyes lit up. “Is that a promise? My, my, Jiraiya. You might still have some surprises in you yet. I’ll be sure to mark my calendar.” He stepped lithely around Jiraiya’s unmoving form. “Look after the kid, will you? I’d hate for anything to happen to him. Until next time, Naruto.”

 

The door clicked gently shut, and he was gone.

 

As soon as the wood hit the frame, Jiraiya was leaning over the desk, grabbing Naruto’s shoulder. “Naruto, are you okay? He didn’t hurt you or anything, did he?”

 

Naruto was still slightly in shock, feeling like everything was going in slow motion. “Yeah, no, I’m okay. Vague threats, but I’m okay.”

 

“Good, good,” Jiraiya nodded, releasing Naruto’s shoulder. “Well, not good, but… shit, I need to make some calls.”

 

Naruto had never seen his teacher look so flustered; he didn’t particularly like it. “So… Orochimaru used to be your friend.”

 

Jiraiya nodded grimly. “A long time ago, yeah. I wish you didn’t have the displeasure of meeting him.”

 

“Jiraiya, I’ve… well, this isn’t the first time. He came to the training room, before Sasuke left. He offered Sasuke a job.”

 

 _A job he took,_ Naruto wanted to add. But he found he couldn’t quite form the words.

 

Jiraiya swore under his breath. “So that’s both of you on his radar. Fuck.” He seemed to remember something, snapping his fingers. “Those calls. Sit tight Naruto, I won’t be long.”

 

He disappeared into his office for a good 15 minutes. Through the slightly ajar door Naruto could hear terse, muttered conversation.

 

_If Orochimaru scares Jiraiya this much… I don’t even want to think about what this means for Sasuke._

Jiraiya re-emerged, looking a good deal calmer. “Okay, I’ve set up a few meetings. I’m sorry Naruto but I’ll have to explain everything once I’ve got a better grasp of the situation. It’s been a while since I’ve needed to do this.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “In the meantime, I’m closing the office up; don’t come in tomorrow. Get your stuff together, I’ll walk you home.”

 

Naruto tried to wave it off. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

 

Jiraiya turned sharply on him. “You’ve just had a personal visit from one of the most powerful criminals in the whole country: get your stuff together, I’m walking you home.”

 

“One of the most- How the fuck did I get into this?” Naruto said, mostly to himself as he shoved things into his bag.

 

Jiraiya paused, midway through throwing his coat over his shoulders. He sighed, shoving the other arm through the sleeve. “I should apologise for that, Naruto. I don’t doubt that he wouldn’t be nearly as interested in you if you weren’t my pupil. I… haven’t been entirely honest about what I used to do after the army. But now isn’t the time: we get you home safe, then I can get you caught up.”

 

Naruto was torn: he didn’t want Jiraiya to blame himself for the mess he’d got himself into, but he didn’t want to tell him about Sasuke. It seemed childish, considering his safety was in question, but he didn’t feel like he had much choice.

 

_Until Sasuke explains himself I’ll have to keep Jiraiya in the dark. Just for a bit._

As the key turned, Jiraiya double checked the handle to make sure it was locked. Naruto wondered when he’d next see the office.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry I haven't been posting as frequently, there's been lots to do this past few months. I've actually been sitting on this chapter for a while now, but there were a few things bugging me about it - I wasn't sure the dialogue was up to scratch, but Naruto's never really been known for his eloquence. Orochimaru was also a hard character to write, getting the crazy/creepy ratio right was a challenge, but I like to think I've done my best!
> 
> Chapter 9 is actually in pre-beta, so hopefully you shouldn't have to wait too long for it
> 
> As per usual, please leave comments, critique the writing, story, anything that could be improved or done better: my main goal out of this is to become a better writer, so fire away! Thanks again!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's in over his head once again, but will Orochimaru's vague threats come to pass?

Naruto exhaled slowly, straining his arms to complete the push up. His hands in a diamond shape, lined up with the centre of his chest, made the basic exercise hard enough that he was having problems finishing this rep. Lowering himself down one final time, he shakily locked his elbows, completing the set, panting. He collapsed to one knee almost immediately, head bowed to the floor. It must have looked like he was praying.

 

Grabbing his t-shirt, discarded halfway through his routine, he wiped the sweat from his face, slinging it around his neck as he got up to stretch. This was the most productive thing he’d done since Jiraiya had told him not to leave the flat: after two days, in which he’d only received a brief text telling him to stay put, Naruto had been pretty bored. He wandered to the bathroom, absent-mindedly picking bits of fluff and debris from the carpet off his sticky skin.

 

As he stripped off and fired up the shower, he lamented the state of his flat. Compared to the rest of it, the floor was practically spotless. Although having Sasuke as an unexpected guest a few months ago had spurred him to increase both his fitness and standard of living, it had ground to a halt rather fast; the pure physicality of Jiraiya’s new training meant he was too tired to do anything after a session, much less clean. For now, the fitness alone would have to do.

 

Naruto hummed contentedly as the hot water washed over his tired body. He stretched out his neck once again, his shoulders knotted and tense. Gradually the heat soothed them, uncoiling the tightly wound muscles, his deep breaths becoming more shallow and relaxed. He decided he’d take his time today, really try to enjoy his shower. But it wasn’t to be: the exercise high was a brief spike before the reality of the situation brought his mood crashing down again.

 

He was under house arrest because a maniac may or may not have threatened his life.

 

Towelling himself off, Naruto frowned as he wandered through the bomb-site that was his flat: dirty clothes and dishes everywhere, a cupboard he couldn’t even open due to clutter, and a dining table covered in absolute crap. It took until the end of the first day before he’d realised it, but being forced to stay here had really shown Naruto how little he actually enjoyed being in his flat alone. At first he chalked it up to the simple removal of his freedom; it had been a while since Naruto had last followed any rules but his own. But as the day wore on, the discontent only grew. He figured he’d play some Xbox, maybe watch a movie, try to distract himself a little.

 

_After all, it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do._

 

Naruto paused for a moment, then looked around the messy flat again. He almost laughed at his own idiocy.

 

“Nothing to do, huh?” He said to no one in particular. “Time to get to work.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto sighed as he straightened up again and leaned the mop against the bathroom sink, stretching his lower back out. A good three hours of tidying and chores had stiffened him up somewhat, but it was totally worth it: there’d been a lot to do, and he’d made a great start.

 

First was the pile of dirty clothes in the corner, overflowing the plastic basket, spilling over the floor and blocking entrance to the small cupboard in the corner. It wasn’t that he’d never washed those clothes, just that he’d never quite got to the bottom; a load of washing would go on, but more would accumulate before the last load air dried. It was all he could do to get it down to the top of the basket before it started overflowing again.

 

The easiest solution he could think of was taking it all down to the big industrial machines in the laundry down the road, getting it washed and dried before hauling it back up to his flat. It went against Jiraiya’s instructions, but he was going crazy cooped up in the flat. Besides, he needed some food too: having not planned for anything remotely like this, his stocks were running low. So, his washing basket piled precariously high, he had decided to risk life and limb by stepping outside.

 

After the initial feeling of paranoia wore off, Naruto had been very happy to be outside again. Suddenly Jiraiya’s worries seemed irrational, and his encounter with Orochimaru played out like something from a dream. These sorts of things didn’t happen to him: he was just a normal guy. They only happened in films and books, to fictional characters.

 

And to people like Sasuke.

 

He put the thought out of his mind as he approached the laundry. He liked this particular place: after Kiba had tripped with a pasta bake and completely ruined one of Naruto’s pillows, the lovely Southern Asian couple that owned it had stayed in late attempting to save it. And when it had turned out that it was well and truly fucked, they hadn’t charged him for it. While they were being spun, Naruto did a quick food shop and started collecting all the rubbish, emptying bins, clearing under his bed, and wiping down the kitchen. Hoovering and mopping was next, the tiny bathroom in particular needing it.

 

Naruto smiled at his handiwork after his back gave a satisfying crack, picking up the dirty mop water and throwing it down the sink. A bit haphazardly, however, as some almost splashed on his newly cleaned floor.

 

 _This place will never stay clean for long,_ Naruto thought as he wandered back through to sort out the living room cupboard.

 

In truth, he’d been putting off the closet: when he’d first moved in, he’d shoved some boxes in there to sort out later and promptly forgotten about them. Now, finally ‘later,’ it felt like a mammoth task. He changed his music to something that would get him more pumped – an electronic artist Shino had introduced him to called Savant – and opened the cupboard for the first time in years.

 

The first thing he noticed was the shit-ton of cobwebs: a few spiders scuttled off to corners trying to escape the unusual intrusion of light on their homes. After disposing of them (caught in a glass and thrown outside, he found killing them distasteful), Naruto pulled out the boxes and got to work. It was a strange snapshot of his life three years ago: he found clothes he thought long since lost, knick-knacks he hadn’t the heart to throw out, and-

 

Naruto wasn’t sure how he’d forgotten about the box labelled ‘Sasuke.’

 

He carefully put down the snow globe Hinata had got him from the Christmas market and sat in front of the box. After Sasuke had left, it had fallen to Naruto to gather what little he’d left behind. Not that there had been many personal items in the sparsely-decorated flat to begin with: whenever Naruto was invited over it always felt so cold, the minimalist furnishings stylish but always the bare essentials.

 

He needn’t have even opened the box; he could recite from memory what was in it. There were a few older items of clothing, including a blue t-shirt Sasuke always used to wear. On top of the clothes, neatly folded at the bottom of the box, would be his schoolwork. He highly doubted Sasuke would need it again, but Naruto had decided better safe than sorry. Picture frames were stacked next, the empty ones particularly telling of the mind-set Sasuke had been in that day; photos of his mother and father were gone, but no others were deemed important enough. And Itachi’s… Naruto had found it face down, the glass broken.

 

Naruto had thought about putting the one of Sasuke, Sakura and himself up in the flat, a little something Sakura had thought to buy him one birthday. He ultimately decided against it. It’d probably just make him miss his friend more.

 

The last few things had always confused him slightly. There was a white linen parcel, carefully wrapped with kanji neatly written across its length. Naruto had never opened it out of respect for his friend, but had always been curious: the delicate, slender words seemed slightly familiar, but he’d forgotten almost everything Sasuke had ever taught him about the language.

 

The other was an old necklace Sasuke had always worn. It was a delicate stylised leaf, intricately wrought with silver. Too delicate, perhaps: a large crack ran through it, not quite breaking the slender swirls. Naruto hadn’t ever seen him without it before the day he’d left, so the fact that he’d leave it, broken, was always puzzling.

 

Naruto didn’t quite know what compelled him to do so, but he carefully unpacked the contents of the “Sasuke” box and placed them on the dining room table. There it was: for the longest time, these five neat piles were all he had to remember his friend. And he’d buried it in a cupboard.

 

Looking at it all made Naruto feel guilty. It wasn’t just literally this stuff had been in the cupboard, so to speak; he’d been putting the thought out of Sasuke out his mind for years. It had become a taboo subject amongst his friends, divisive as it was painful. But none of them wanted to talk about it, at least not with Naruto.

 

Realistically, of course, he knew there wasn’t much he could do. He was just a kid when it had happened, and even now he still felt like the same obnoxious teenager. And it wasn’t like he’d been idle: he kept checking missing person’s reports and, in his darker moments, obituaries. Short of scouring every square inch in a city of half a million, there wasn’t much he could do that the police hadn’t already.

 

The cold reality of the situation didn’t help, however. No matter how much he told himself differently, he always arrived at the same conclusion: _you didn’t do enough._

 

Naruto ran a hand through his hair. The vicious cycle of guilt and rationality was exhausting as it was painful. He decided a drink wouldn’t be out of the question: he’d earned one.

 

Pushing himself wearily up from the chair, Naruto padded towards the kitchen. He tried to focus on the positives – his flat was clean for once, after all – but it all kept coming back to that same thought.

 

_You didn’t do enough for him_

Dropping into a squat, he popped open the cupboard next to his oven. It was too small to be of much use, but was just tall enough for most bottles of whisky. Reaching past the miniatures he’d acquired to broaden his tastes, his hand dithered between two bottles. Auchentoshan or Glenmorangie?

 

Deciding he was in the mood for the sweet, moreish flavour of the Auchentoshan’s American oak, he rinsed out a whisky tumbler. His thoughts always seemed to wander towards whisky whenever Sasuke was on his mind: the two were inexorably linked now. And it had quickly become his drink of choice for a quiet night. The amber liquid always relaxed him. He uncorked it, breathing deep as the fumes escaped. He loved that smell.

 

He almost dropped the bottle as three loud knocks rang against his door.

 

His immediate thought was that Jiraiya had finally got back to him. But as he started to cross the room doubt filled his mind. Didn’t Jiraiya say he’d call ahead? And the heavy hammering was a far cry from Jiraiya’s usual knock, more delicate and… even, he guessed. Naruto paused, unsure what to do. He’d never been in this type of situation before, his heart pounding a mile a minute. Fortunately, the decision was made easy for him.

 

“Naruto? Come on… I know you’re home.” A familiar voice slurred, accompanied by another, more half-hearted knock.

 

Naruto sighed, relieved that he wasn’t about to be murdered. It was half a second before that was replaced with further worry.

 

Sasuke was _very_ drunk. Again.

 

Wrenching open the door, Naruto saw his friend slumped against the doorframe, face pressing into the green-painted wood, eyes closed. As the door’s vibrations jarred him, he cracked one eye open and slowly smiled a lopsided grin.

 

“Heeeeey…”

 

He was a complete mess: his hair was dishevelled, and barely-scabbed cuts adorned his pale face and neck. He wasn’t wearing a shirt for once, just a plain white t-shirt and faded black jeans, small holes peppering the tatty material. On his forearm, a thick bandage was strapped securely, tight against his alabaster skin and raised veins. Several plasters were dotted about his arms and hands, one particularly noticeable on his pinky finger as his hand gripped the doorframe tightly.

 

_He looks hurt… mind you, the amount he’s drank, I don’t know if he can even feel pain._

He rolled his eyes and hauled Sasuke upright, dragging him into the flat.

 

“You,” Naruto grunted as he threw Sasuke into an armchair. “Are going to be the death of me. Do you just get summoned every time I open a bottle of whisky?”

 

“You know there’s a type of Japanese alcohol ghost? It’s called a shōjō, and-”

 

“Yeah, sounds like you.” Naruto said curtly, cutting over the end of Sasuke’s sentence.

 

Sasuke leaned back, two fingers to his temple. “You’re upset.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“Maybe because you only ever show up rat-arsed and end up trashing my flat. I don’t even know if you’re gonna leave through the door this time!” Naruto felt guilty almost immediately, but he was too highly-strung to deal with a drunk, belligerent Sasuke. Not tonight.

 

“To be fair, that almost never happens.”

 

He seemed to have the good sense to shut up as Naruto threw him a withering look. “Seriously though, Sasuke,” He sighed, finally pouring from the open bottle in front of him. “Is seeing me so bad that you have to be smashed every time?”

 

“No,” Sasuke replied quickly, before pausing. “I… don’t like putting you in danger, Naruto. But when I’ve had a few drinks… it seems like a better idea.”

 

Naruto snorted as he ran a tall glass under the kitchen tap. “Well newsflash, you’re not doing a very good job – Jiraiya’s put me on house arrest cause your boss threatened me at work.” He thrust the glass of water at Sasuke, almost spilling it over them both. “Drink this. I’m not enabling you tonight.”

 

Sasuke took the glass without complaint, avoiding Naruto’s gaze. “Naruto, I… I’m sorry. I should never have involved you in any of this. I shouldn’t have had that drink with you; I shouldn’t have come here, tonight or the last time; I shouldn’t have let Orochimaru find out about you. It was selfish. But all I came here to say was that you don’t need to worry. I fixed it.” He smiled, but it seemed strained. “He won’t bother you anymore.”

 

That threw Naruto, his anger slowly ebbing away. “But… how? Orochimaru doesn’t strike me as the type to just give up.”

 

Sasuke finally took a sip of water. “Just trust me. He won’t be bothering you anymore.”

 

“But-”

 

“I said drop it!” The outburst was as loud as it was sudden; Sasuke’s jaw was set, his dark eyes inscrutable before they quickly left Naruto’s, sliding into his lap before closing them.

 

An uncomfortable pause extended between them. After the initial shock, Naruto coolly sipped his whisky, patience tested as he tried to wait for Sasuke to make the first move.

 

_For once._

It worked: Sasuke slowly opened his eyes, the hard edge seeming to leave them. “I’m sorry Naruto.” He sighed, putting his glass down. “Please, can we just not talk about this tonight?”

 

Naruto was going to argue the point, but as he looked at his friend again it struck him just how defeated Sasuke looked. Shoulders slumped, elbows leaning on his knees. He looked like a man broken.

 

Suddenly, Naruto felt extremely guilty: Sasuke hadn’t asked him to jump headfirst back into his life. He’d done that himself. Not that he regretted it for an instant, but the blame lay squarely on his shoulders.

 

_This life’s breaking him. And it’s up to me to pick up the pieces._

Naruto sat down opposite Sasuke, placing his drink on the table next to the water. “It’s like this for you all the time, isn’t it?” He asked quietly.

 

Sasuke didn’t look up, but gave a small nod.

 

“Well I guess I can understand why you’re so high maintenance,” Naruto laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit. He reached his hand out and put it on Sasuke’s bicep; it was tensed hard, the muscles like steel under the soft fabric. “Look, if you say I’m gonna be okay, I believe you. But don’t give me this ‘I shouldn’t have dragged you into this’ shit. I might not sound it sometimes, but I’m really grateful you’re back in my life.”

 

Naruto thought he could see a small smile on Sasuke’s face, the skin under his hand softening slightly. Encouraged, he continued. “And whatever you’ve done, we can make it right, okay? Even if it takes time.”

 

Sasuke sighed, gently removing Naruto’s hand. “I’ve told you before, Naruto. Some things can’t be forgiven. After today, I know what I really am. I’m making my peace with that. But I…” He trailed off, noticing something next to Naruto. “Wait, what’s that?”

 

Naruto’s eyes snapped to his left, to the table. As soon as he saw what Sasuke had, he felt himself blush. He’d left all of Sasuke’s things neatly laid out.

 

He couldn’t think of anything to say. “Oh. That.”

 

“Is that my stuff?” Sasuke asked incredulously, looking genuinely surprised.

 

“Yeah, I mean, I was tidying, and it… it was in the cupboard.” He finished weakly, pointing at the still-open door. As embarrassed as he was, Naruto was grateful that Sasuke seemed to have derailed that last train of thought: it didn’t seem to be going anywhere nice, but a nagging question kept prickling at his mind.

 

_What the fuck happened to Sasuke today?_

Sasuke, meanwhile, looked utterly confused. “Why did you have my stuff in your cupboard?”

 

“Well someone had to take it.” Naruto provided unhelpfully. He tried to explain himself better. “The stuff you left. You know, at your old place.”

 

This seemed to amuse him. “The only reason I didn’t throw all this out with the rest of it was that you arrived before I could.” Sasuke stood up, his balance questionable for a second until he caught himself and meandered over to the table. “The fuck’s this… my old schoolwork? Why would I possibly need this, Naruto?”

 

As humiliated as he was, Naruto could only shrug. Sasuke flipped through some of the old clothes, nodding. “I was gonna dump these at a charity before I left…” He trailed off as he picked up the white linen package. “Naruto…?”

 

“Hmm?” He responded absent-mindedly, still dying slightly from embarrassment.

 

“Why didn’t you open this?”

 

Naruto was a bit taken aback. “What? Cause it’d be wrong, opening your stuff without permission. Besides,” he added, scratching his jaw. “It looked like a present.”

 

Sasuke stared for a second, eyes slightly unfocused, before he burst out laughing. “Naruto, you idiot,” he grinned, the wide smile a rarity on his usually solemn face. “How many times did I teach you how to write your own damn name in Japanese?”

 

Naruto, for a moment or two, was distracted by the smile: it completely changed his friend’s face, all the sadness, the hurt melting away. It wasn’t often Naruto would see that smile, back in the day. Even more rarely now, it seemed. Then Sasuke’s words sunk in.

 

“Wait, that’s for me?” He spluttered, causing Sasuke to laugh even harder. Looking at the letters again, he supposed it did look familiar.

 

“Yeah, this was your eighteenth birthday present. I even left it next to the keys so you’d find it. I suppose it’ll count as your 21st now.” He tossed it over to Naruto. “Here, dickhead. Open it.”

 

He caught the package, staring at the neatly inked kanji for a second. It did seem familiar, but all the letters reminded Naruto of was the late nights he’d spent at Sasuke’s, demanding to learn how to at least write the basics. When he’d finally relented, Sasuke had been a patient teacher, somewhat surprisingly. But evidently none of it had stuck.

 

Naruto carefully unwrapped the soft linen, trying not to tear the delicate fabric. Inside was a plain white wooden box. Popping open the lid, he was rather surprised at what was inside.

 

Resting in the burgundy velvet was a short, dagger-like knife. It was cast entirely in silver, black leather tightly gripping the handle. Naruto gingerly picked it up; it was heavier than he’d expected, but not sharp. The blade itself was very thick in the middle, coming down to a point at the edges in a straight, angular fashion. Kanji were inscribed down its length in a sharp, stylised hand, the same word but a totally different application from the one on the package. Naruto now recognised it enough to say it was his name.

 

“It’s called a kunai,” Sasuke helpfully supplied. “It’s a ninja tool.”

 

“Wow.” Naruto was almost lost for words. “Thank you, this is amazing. Yeah, I recognise it now: one of the dudes from Mortal Kombat has one of these on a rope.”

 

Sasuke seemed to be trying his best to repress a sigh. “That isn’t entirely… accurate. These were mostly used for knocking holes in walls. Although in times of war, a farmer could fashion one out of a masonry trowel to protect themselves. Kind of like a makeshift weapon.”

 

Naruto’s face fell a bit. “So… you got me a trowel?”

 

Sasuke didn’t appear phased. “First off, I got you a hand-crafted, solid silver, custom-commissioned kunai. You’re welcome. And second – bear with me.” He smiled that sly half-smile Naruto had become so accustomed to, but soon became quite serious. “I had every advantage you didn’t. For the longest time, I didn’t see that. I didn’t just grow up with training; I grew up loved, with a family. You didn’t have any of that. But goddamn, you gave it your all.”

 

Sasuke walked over to Naruto, his long, pale fingers lightly brushing Naruto’s as he took the gift out of his hands. “If I’m a katana, made for combat, designed for fighting and nothing else… you’re a kunai; you’re made to help people, not hurt them. But, if you need to defend something you love…” Sasuke suddenly flicked the glinting tool, his finger slipping into the open ring pommel and spinning into an underhand grip, the dull edge at Naruto’s throat. That cocky smile returned. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

 

Naruto was amazed: the sheer amount of thought Sasuke had put into this gift was incredible, his description so heartfelt and flattering. He felt a wide, stupid grin spread across his face as Sasuke lowered the weapon, carefully handing it back to him.

 

 _This is how Sasuke sees me_ , Naruto realised. Through all the pain of the last few years, the uncertainty of the last few months, this was one of the only things he could be sure of. It was a rush of emotions: happiness, pride, relief… but at the same time, the way he spoke about himself said much more about Sasuke’s state of mind than any direct questions Naruto had ever asked.

 

_He sees himself as a weapon, nothing more…_

 

Naruto didn’t have the ability to put his gratitude into words; instead, he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Sasuke in a silent embrace. Sasuke stopped dead, his whole body stiffening initially. Then, with a sigh, he relaxed, his arms fitting around Naruto’s back.

 

The moment lasted for a few seconds before they broke apart. This close, Naruto couldn’t help but notice Sasuke’s eyes. They seemed… different: maybe there was a warmth to those coal depths that hadn’t been there before; maybe the hard edge had slipped slightly, his cold façade finally wearing thin.

 

_Or maybe you’re projecting._

 

Either way, Naruto reasoned, he felt he ought to say something. “You know you’re more than just a weapon, right?”

 

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek, avoiding Naruto’s eye. “If you say so.”

 

Naruto was determined not to let this one rest. “Hey, I mean it: katanas are badass and all, but they can’t save idiots from getting run over. You remember that?”

 

“I think I’d find it hard to forget breaking my leg pushing you out the way.” He replied, his tone sullen.

 

“Exactly. And that was after a week of me being a little shit.” Naruto smiled, clapping his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder.

 

“Anyone would have done the same. My body just… moved on its own.” Sasuke shrugged Naruto’s hand off. “I’m not some bloody hero.”

 

“Well you were to me.” The words were out of Naruto’s mouth before he could stop them. He instantly turned beetroot, his ears red-hot. It wasn’t untrue, but Naruto found himself loath to admit just how much he had looked up to Sasuke.

 

Sasuke seemed surprised too. “Oh.” He said, not quite managing to keep the corner of his lip from twitching into a smile. “Thanks, Naruto.”

 

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Naruto tried to laugh it off.

 

There was a slight pause, until a loud growling broke it. Sasuke raised his eyebrows, one slender hand at his abdomen. “Evidently,” he said, giving an embarrassed smile. “My stomach is displeased.”

 

“Jesus, that was loud.” Naruto laughed, glad something had broken the moment. “Do you want something to eat?”

 

“No, I-” Sasuke started, before being cut off once again by another rumbling. He sighed, but good-naturedly. “You know, I might have to take you up on that. It might just start digesting itself.”

 

Naruto padded through to the kitchen, shaking his head. “It’s no wonder you’re completely trashed, dude. Did you not eat before you started? Rookie mistake.”

 

“Trust me,” Sasuke said, following him and leaning on the breakfast bar. “When you develop a tolerance like mine you need every advantage you can get.”

 

Naruto cracked open the fridge, scanning the shelves. “Right, let’s see… Oh! The perfect thing!” Naruto pulled out two steaks, holding them up to his friend. “How does a steak sandwich sound? Perfect food for metabolising all that shite you’ve got sloshing around in there.”

 

“You don’t have to cook, I can have something small.”

 

Naruto waved him off. “Nah, you need a proper meal. Besides, according to Chouji these are the best thing when you’re smashed.”

 

The corner of Sasuke’s lip curled. “Doesn’t Chouji suggest steak for everything?”

 

“Well yeah, but this time he’s right.” Naruto laughed. He felt a little guilty as he grabbed a knife and chopping board: he’d got the steak to make for Jiraiya when the all-clear was sounded, but he reasoned that Sasuke needed it more.

 

Sasuke wandered away from the breakfast bar, picking up his water and leaning his hip against the back of the couch. Naruto started cutting the meat into long strips after setting a pan to heat.

 

“How do like yours done?” He asked. Not getting an answer, he looked up mid-slice.

 

Sasuke was frozen, glass halfway up to his mouth, eyes wide and fixed on the chopping board. He was shaking, the glass vibrating ever so slightly in his thin hands. The other was gripping the edge of the sofa so hard that it looked like he might leave permanent dents.

 

“Hey, Sasuke! You okay?”

 

Sasuke blinked hard a few times and swallowed but his eyes didn’t move from the steak. “Yeah… yeah. Yeah I’m good. A-all the alcohol just… hit me at once. I’ll be fine.”

 

Naruto frowned: usually Sasuke wasn’t that shaky. He’d seen him slurring, but he was always so sure of his words. Naruto didn’t think he’d ever heard his friend stutter before. But, he reasoned, the man had drank a lot. “Okay dude,” he replied, going back to cutting the meat. “So, how do you want it done?”

 

“Rare.” Sasuke replied quickly, but seemed to change his mind. “Actually… medium. Medium-well. No blood.”

 

Naruto nodded to himself, taking quick glances at his friend every so often. He was breathing heavily, jaw set, biting the inside of his lip again. His explanation was plausible, Naruto thought: he remembered one particular night when he’d drank far too much and suddenly had to sit in the corner and concentrate on not dying. This seemed, different somehow.

 

“Don’t let Chouji hear you say that. He’s always going on about how the pink of a rare steak is perfect with just that little trickle of blood.” Naruto remarked, gesturing with the knife without looking at him. “In fact, he’d probably throw you out of the-”

 

Naruto was cut off by a startling crash, jumping and accidently cutting himself. “Fuck,” he yelled, looking up to see just what had happened.

 

Sasuke had dropped the nearly-full pint glass and evidently it had bounced off the couch, depositing its contents all over the upholstery before smashing into a thousand glinting fragments on the floor. The man himself was leaning heavily on the couch, as if his legs couldn’t support him anymore. Naruto rushed over, grabbing some paper towels and trying to mop up as much water as possible.

 

“Jesus, Sasuke, at least get to a chair if you think your arse is gonna collapse.” He looked back, frowning. “You okay?”

 

Sasuke, eyes closed, nodded, one hand inside his shirt, patting his right side. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m…” He trailed off as he checked his fingers, frowning.

 

Naruto was worried: this didn’t seem like normal behaviour, even if the man had drank half the city dry. Abandoning the couch – it was looking like it’d take some time to dry out – he walked over to Sasuke, still staring at his fingers. And then Naruto saw the blood.

 

Sasuke, still leaning against the couch for support, muttered a wobbly curse as he lowered his hand, thin trails of blood running down his fingers. That wasn’t the source, however; that was readily apparent as a crimson stain spotted his white shirt, slowly spreading and soaking through at his side.

 

“Fuck!” Naruto yelped again, his voice cracking. For a second he stood frozen, no worldly idea of what he should do.

 

Sasuke waved it off unconvincingly, but it was obvious he was quite distressed. “It’s just a graze… Big, but skin-shallow. Honest. I’m okay.”

 

“Shit, okay,” Naruto tried to breath, grabbing Sasuke and guiding him over to the same chair he’d last been deposited in. He tried to channel some of Sakura’s medical expertise. “Right, I need to have a look at it. Get that shirt off.”

 

“Naruto I’m okay, I-”

 

“Shirt. Off.”

 

_That’ll be the Sakura influence…_

As Sasuke pulled the t-shirt over his head, Naruto grabbed his first aid kit, slamming it onto the table in his haste to see just what was wrong with his friend. A white bandage extended around his chest, holding a large dressing in place. At least it had held it until a minute previously, when it had evidently slipped and exposed a part of whatever lay beneath. Preparing himself for what might be underneath, Naruto knelt on one knee, cut the bandage off and gently removed the sodden dressing.

 

He breathed a sigh of relief: for once, Sasuke didn’t seem to be understating his injuries. It was just as he said, a large area of skin had been scraped off his ribs but nothing too serious. It was quite deep for a graze, a bit gruesome as several layers of skin showed through, but nothing Naruto hadn’t seen before. Blood ran freely, uninterrupted by the gauze, painting solid red tracks down Sasuke’s ashen skin.

 

“I told you it wasn’t bad,” Sasuke remarked flippantly, but his voice was still a bit shaky.

 

Naruto ignored him, grabbing an antiseptic wipe from the kit. “Did you clean it properly?”

 

“I had a shower.”

 

“Jesus dude,” Naruto shook his head. “Do you want it get infected? That shit can be really nasty.”

 

Although not looking at the other man, Naruto could tell he’d rolled his eyes. “Don’t lecture me, Naruto.”

 

Naruto shuddered. “You haven’t had to listen to Sakura tell her war stories. Fucking gruesome.”

 

Sasuke sighed, seeming to relent. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Here, I’ll do it myself.”

 

“After the shit-show you made of it last time? And you’re gonna need one of my shirts if you’re staying over, and you’re not getting blood on my stuff.” Naruto shook his head again as he got to work, dabbing gently at the graze.

 

Naruto knew just how bad the antiseptic was on open wounds, but to Sasuke’s credit he didn’t show any signs of pain. “Staying over?” He asked, seeming confused.

 

Naruto paused for a second, speaking slowly as he concentrated on the task at hand. “Yeah, I’m not letting you go home like this. First off you’re a fucking wreck, don’t try to pretend otherwise; second, I wanna make sure you’re okay in the morning.” He glanced quickly up at Sasuke. “No arguing.”

 

He smirked. “Yes nurse.”

 

Naruto ignored that comment as he finished cleaning the abrasion itself. As gently as possible, he traced over the hard muscle of Sasuke’s abdomen, wiping all the blood away. The other man sat still as any stone as the cloth was delicately traced over his ribs and side, Naruto trying to be as thorough as possible. Getting a new dressing, he pressed the gauze against the wound, spots of blood quickly soaking into it as the raw new skin stuck to the dressing.

 

A new bandage and some medical tape were next, Sasuke lifting his arm as it went around his back. “Hey… thanks Naruto.” He said quietly as Naruto slowly wrapped the bandage. “Thanks for caring. I’m not worth all this.”

 

Securing the dressing in place, Naruto didn’t answer for a second as he knelt back down next to his friend, leaning his forearm on Sasuke’s thigh as he appraised his handiwork. Looking up, he smiled slightly. “Sasuke Uchiha, you are the single worthiest person I’ve met. Or at the very least, the most worthy in this apartment.”

 

Sasuke did his little laugh-exhale, smiling despite himself. “But come on dude, seriously,” Naruto continued. “Don’t ever tell yourself you aren’t worth it. This… this whole thing has fucked you over in the worst possible way. But you’re still the same person. A good person. Nothing can change that. Not in my eyes anyway.”

 

Something intense passed between them. Naruto found it hard to make sense of, a whole rush of feelings, a confusing whirlwind. Sasuke could feel it as well, Naruto could tell: he hadn’t imagined it earlier, there was something different in Sasuke’s eyes, the same vulnerability that he’d first seen the fateful day they’d reunited. This close, Naruto found himself inhaling the other man’s distinct smell. Whisky and smoke mixed with a more familiar smell, one that brought Naruto back to a time when they were younger; throughout everything, the distance, the years, that scent hadn’t changed. It brought Naruto incredible comfort.

 

For a long time they stared at one another, unmoving, this wordless exchange seeming to touch both of them on some profound level. Naruto thought about all the things the man in front of him must have seen, all the hurt, the secrets, the very nature of his life tearing him to pieces every day. And despite all that, despite all he did to shut himself away, to protect himself, to shield himself from more hurt… he was still the same person that had left. And it made Naruto feel fifteen again.

 

_After all this… he’s still my Sasuke._

 

Sasuke then very suddenly leant forward and kissed him.

 

Naruto, completely stunned, froze. It was only the most brief of kisses before Sasuke pulled away, knocking over the chair as he stood up shakily and backed away, hand to his forehead. Naruto, who had been leaning on his leg, lost his balance and fell onto his ass, almost hitting his head on the table.

 

“I-I’m so sorry Naruto.” Sasuke stuttered, blushing, his eyes wide. “That was a mistake, and, and- God, I’m so sorry.”

 

Naruto was still struggling to process this sudden turn of events, sitting on the floor with a distant expression on his face. “Right…”

 

Sasuke’s face was flushed, colour being brought to his normally cool complexion. “I’ve had too much to drink, and…” He trailed off and walked to the other side of the room, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “I get like that when I’m drunk. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

Naruto, still not having moved, furrowed his brow. “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

 

In truth, he absolutely didn’t. He found the words coming out his mouth like some sort of reflex; his conscious mind seemed to have jammed, like a broken computer spitting out the same error message again and again.

 

_Sasuke kissed me._

He blushed as it properly sunk in. His friend had kissed him! Sasuke was still stammering, but Naruto wasn’t listening, the red creeping up his neck.

 

_Sasuke KISSED me._

 

Naruto was snapped from his thoughts by a loud popping sound, making him jump. As disoriented as he was, it took him several seconds to realise what it was: he’d set a pan to heat for the steak, the oil reaching boiling point as it spat and bubbled.

 

He scrambled up from his spot on the floor, almost hitting his head on the table for a second time, running to the kitchen and practically throwing the steak into the pan before he accidentally started an oil fire. He busied himself with the cooking, throwing two baguettes into the oven to heat, tossing the steak so it cooked evenly, trying to get his thoughts in some sort of sensible order. Sasuke, meanwhile, had gone quiet, leaning against the far wall while resolutely looking out the window.

 

“Sasuke?” Naruto called, wincing as his voice cracked again.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can you bring my drink over?”

 

He obliged wordlessly, not only bringing him the whisky but topping it up a bit from the bottle, adding a single ice cube from Naruto’s freezer. Naruto appreciated the gesture, flattered that he’d both made the effort and remembered his whisky preference – no matter how distasteful he found the addition of ice to a single malt.

 

_And that’s not the only flattering thing, right?_

 

“Huh, nice.” Naruto commented as Sasuke placed the squat glass by the hob, trying to dispel some of the tension, as well as his own strange thoughts. “I could get used to having a butler.”

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything, hopping up on one of the breakfast bar’s seats in silence. Naruto didn’t know what to say as he plated everything up, gingerly cutting open the now-warm baguettes.

 

_What the fuck do you say when your friend randomly kisses you?!_

Naruto awkwardly handed Sasuke his sandwich, receiving a quiet thanks in return, before he realised that his friend was still shirtless.

 

“Oh shit, you need a shirt.” Naruto exclaimed, still rather flustered. “Hang on.”

 

He grabbed the first clean thing he could find and brought it back through to the kitchen. In the half minute he’d been gone, Sasuke had demolished most of the sandwich, slowly nodding as he chewed.

 

“Hungry much?” Naruto laughed as he picked up his own and tucked in.

 

Sasuke nodded more vigorously, taking quite a few seconds to swallow the large mouthful he had. “This is amazing.”

 

“Damn right.”

 

They finished in silence, Naruto grabbing his whisky and taking a deep drink. He’d had some time to think over “the event” in the past few minutes, and seemed to have got over the shock. He looked at his friend, the worried frown on his brow, and decided to pour him a small dram.

 

_Right, let’s sort this out here and now._

 

He slid the glass across the counter, Sasuke deftly catching it and swallowing at least half in one go. “Okay,” Naruto started, looking his friend in the eye. “I will acknowledge that was… unexpected.”

 

“Look, Naruto, I-”

 

Naruto interrupted, holding up one finger. “Let me finish. It’s a bit weird, not only my friend kissing me, but another dude. I mean, I’m not into guys, I’m not gay. But we all do stupid things when we drink, and I’d be flattered if any girl did that; it’d be hypocritical not to feel the same just cause you’re a guy.”

 

Sasuke took a deep breath. “So… we’re good? You’re not freaked out?”

 

“We’re good.” Naruto smiled. “Come on, you know I don’t care about who you prefer to stick your dick in.”

 

“I know, but…” Sasuke scratched his head through messy hair, his expression downcast. “Lots of people say that. In practice… some folk care a lot more than they profess. Especially when you kiss them.”

 

“Can’t say I wasn’t a wee bit taken aback ,” Naruto laughed, trying to put his friend at ease. “But it’s okay. I certainly don’t think this changes anything between us.”

 

Sasuke gave a strained smile. “No, I’m sure it doesn’t.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto woke to a piercing beeping noise. He groaned, slowly coming to, sighing as it abruptly shut off. He was still half-asleep, his body curled up against something extremely comfy. He could feel a dopey smile stretch across his face, until the events of the last night began replaying themselves in his head and he realised what position he was in.

 

He was spooning Sasuke.

 

Naruto jumped, scooting back to his side of the bed. He must have got into that position in the night; back when he and Hinata were dating he’d often find himself waking up tangled in her arms. It was one of the more awkward sleeping habits of his.

 

Sasuke groaned, one hand rubbing his eyes, the other holding his phone. He squinted, bleary-eyed at the phone, before swearing softly. Staggering out of the bed, he almost fell over immediately. Putting one hand out to steady himself, he regained his balance, slowly walking over to his trousers. Casually, he stripped the borrowed t-shirt and pyjamas off and dressed, yawning.

 

After their food, they hadn’t stayed up long; Sasuke had started to crash, and after all the stress Naruto wasn’t far behind him. His couch waterlogged after Sasuke had spilled almost a full pint of water over it, they’d been forced to share a bed. As soon as Sasuke’s head hit the pillow he was out, snoring quietly on his front. Naruto had found himself awake for much longer. He hadn’t wanted to upset his friend, but since they’d kissed Naruto was feeling profoundly odd. Looking at him sleeping, Sasuke had seemed smaller, more innocent.

 

Shirtless, Sasuke turned to face Naruto. “Sorry, I didn’t wanna wake you. I’ve got a meeting, and… I hate to ask, but could I borrow a shirt?”

 

Naruto ran a hand down the side of his face, sitting up and yawning. “Ye… yeah. Wardrobe, far right. It’s black, will that do?”

 

Sasuke nodded, taking it from the hanger and starting to button it up. “Wait!” Naruto yelled groggily. “I gotta check the bandage.”

 

He was, of course, waved off. “It’s fine, no bleeding. You did a better job than I had, that’s for sure. Thanks”

 

Following him to the living room, Naruto filled the kettle, intending to make himself some coffee. “What time is it?”

 

Sasuke checked his watch as he laced up his boots. “7.10.”

 

“What? In the morning?”

 

Sasuke just raised an eyebrow by ways of an answer.

 

Naruto grumbled as he grabbed the instant coffee from a cupboard. “Making me get up early… you want some coffee?”

 

Sasuke shook his head. “I never quite got the taste.”

 

“You learn to love it. Here’s to our legal narcotic!” He said dryly, raising his empty coffee mug.

 

The corner of Sasuke’s mouth twitched as he smiled for half a second, looking through his phone. “Okay… if I leave now I’ll make it in time. Here, do you have a pen and paper?”

 

“I have a pencil from Ikea and what appears to be part of my electric bill, is that good enough?”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes but took them anyway. “You’re quite the comedian this morning.”

 

“And the rest of the time, obviously. Nah, I dunno. I’m in a good mood.” Sasuke looked at him quizzically. Naruto shrugged. “I had a good time last night. It’s good seeing you Sasuke.”

 

Sasuke’s face lit up, one of those genuine full smiles that always amazed Naruto. “And you, Naruto. Here.” He handed Naruto a number scribbled onto the torn-off corner of the bill. “That’s my permanent number. I don’t always have the phone on me, but drop me a line. I… I was wrong to try and protect you. You can make your own decisions, and if you want me in your life… well, who am I to argue?”

 

Naruto grinned. “Good to finally hear you talking sense, idiot. I’ll text you, yeah?”

 

Opening the door, Naruto watched Sasuke depart down the stairs, lingering for a second. He heard the street door slam, then silence. He almost felt like he was waiting for another twist, for something akin to the “detectives” he’d had to deal with last time Sasuke was round. But there was nothing to hear but the harsh cry of seagulls in the early morning, and the busy sounds of the street outside, the city gearing up for another day.

 

Shutting the door he grinned. This was the best he’d felt in a long, long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally leave subtext to find the fully fledged homo-eroticism! This is one of my favourite chapters so far, where I was really able to get in deep with the characters and explore their relationship further. As I am free from the clutches of exams, it should be much easier to get all my writing done now, and I can't wait to share all my ideas with you guys!
> 
> As per usual, please leave comments and critiques, yaddi yadda :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally safe to go outside again, Naruto learns some hard truths from Jiraiya - and he isn't the only one dropping truth bombs.

Jiraiya thanked the waitress as she carefully arranged the dishes on the small table. Naruto too nodded his appreciation in a quiet acknowledgement as a large, steaming bowl was placed in front of him. While Jiraiya preferred to have a tapas of sorts, a small selection of everything, Naruto’s true love would always be ramen. And this place did the best ramen in the whole city.

 

It had become a fast favourite of both Naruto and Jiraiya with their mutual love of Japanese cuisine. It was quiet, which seemed unusual for this time of year, the dark restaurant seating only a few. Part of the kitchen extended onto the bar, and Naruto always enjoyed watching them work: the chefs were not quite as frantic in their movements as usual today.

 

Jiraiya, after an additional day of isolation, had finally turned up at Naruto’s flat. Another apology had been first: it had taken him longer than he’d thought to get any information. Secondly, he insisted on treating Naruto to a full meal. Having lived on nothing but ready meals - broken up by a rather good steak sandwich – Naruto had been more than happy to head out once more.

 

As they walked the short trail from Naruto’s flat to the restaurant, Jiraiya explained that they didn’t seem to be in any direct danger, and that they could relax a bit. The rest, he said, he’d explain once they were inside.

 

“The long and short of it,” Jiraiya started, pausing as he broke the chopsticks apart and picked at his first dish. “Is that Orochimaru’s gone to ground. He’s done a disappearing act.”

 

Naruto was surprised, but perhaps not as much as Jiraiya had expected. He picked up his own chopsticks before answering. “And that’s it?”

 

Jiraiya shrugged. “And that’s it. As of yesterday, he’s completely disappeared. And he isn’t just gone: all his operations have been dismantled, totally ground to a halt. Of course, it won’t last long. The power gap is being filled, different people fighting for a piece of the pie.” He paused, popping a gyoza in his mouth before adding. “So to speak.”

 

_Jesus, it’s like something out of a gangster film. I never imagined Orochimaru would back down, much less vanish…_

And, once again, he wondered just how it had happened. He voiced his concerns aloud. “He doesn’t seem like the type to give up. Could it be that you got involved? Started asking questions and stuff?”

 

Jiraiya smiled slightly, looking less grim for a second or two. “As flattered as I am, I very much doubt it: he’s never been scared of me before. And mark my words, something’s spooked him.”

 

Naruto had entertained the thought that Sasuke hadn’t been the sole reason behind Orochimaru’s disappearance. That maybe, unbeknownst to him, Jiraiya had been pulling strings in the background. It had made Naruto feel better, somehow. Like Sasuke was more… human. That he hadn’t managed to successfully intimidate one of the most hardened criminals in the city.

 

But no. It was all Sasuke.

 

_Christ, what did he have to do?_

“So,” Naruto said carefully. “Any theories?” It had occurred to him that with his apparently extensive network of information, Jiraiya may have already heard about Sasuke’s involvement. And Sasuke’s line of work was one thing he absolutely didn’t want Jiraiya knowing.

 

 _Sasuke’s old line of work,_ he corrected himself.

 

The concern must have shown on his face. “Nothing concrete,” Jiraiya started, stalling a second. “There’s your usual host of rumours: he’s dead, he’s fled to Mexico, the police got him… none of which I actually believe. He’s lying low, gathering his strength.”

 

“So he’ll be back?”

 

Jiraiya chewed silently, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so. But when that happens we won’t be his top priority, that’s for sure. Whoever made him run? They better watch their backs.”

 

Naruto bit the inside of his lip, trying not to frown; he knew Jiraiya’s words were supposed to be reassuring, but they had the opposite effect. He tried to put it out of his mind. Dwelling on Sasuke’s safety wouldn’t do either of them any good. Besides – Jiraiya had questions to answer.

 

“Okay, so if you say we’re safe, I believe you.” Naruto said, trying to find the right words. “But… it’s starting to look like I’m involved in this too. And I’d appreciate it if you filled me in with exactly what ‘this’ is.”

 

Jiraiya nodded, apologising for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. “You’re absolutely right Naruto. I’m sorry I kept you in the dark for so long, I just thought… well, if you didn’t know then you’d be safer.”

 

“Yeah, I’m fucking used to that.” Naruto snapped, looking up from his ramen. “Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me. It’s not like anyone ever asks my goddamn opinion.”

 

As soon as the words had left his mouth, he regretted them. Closing his eyes, he placed the chopsticks down and took several deep breaths.

 

_Find your centre…_

When he finally opened his eyes again, he saw that Jiraiya had been waiting patiently for him. Embarrassed, he dropped his gaze to the bowl immediately.

 

“Are you okay, Naruto?” Jiraiya asked quietly.

 

He nodded silently, still not looking at his teacher. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s fine,” Jiraiya replied quickly. “You have every right to be angry. Were you close to… you know?”

 

“No, I’m just… I’m not a kid any more. I’ve had people try to tell me what’s best for me my whole life. When you’re in care it’s like your feelings don’t matter, they just make all these decisions for you. And it’s the same now, it seems like everyone but me knows what’s going on.”

 

He finally looked up at Jiraiya, surprised to find his teacher smiling gently. “You’re right: I owe you that much. So…” He spread his broad hands invitingly. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Well…” Naruto started, unsure where to start. However he quickly gathered speed. “How do you have ‘contacts?’ Is it cause you’re ex-military? How did you find out all you need about a highly wanted criminal so quickly? And what did you mean when you said you hadn’t been ‘entirely honest’ with me the other day?”

 

Jiraiya laughed, that signature goofy grin the last thing Naruto expected to see. “So nothing short of everything, right? Okay, eat up and shut up: this might take a while.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“So let’s recap: I’d just left the army, done my bit of humanitarian work training my students, and I decided it was time to come back home. I’d had my grand adventure, I just wanted to sit back, write and enjoy myself. I figured I’d earned it. What I’d earned was a rather hefty slap to the face.

 

“It was a nagging feeling at first: I got settled in, happy to be back, but it wasn’t what I’d remembered. The longer I was there, the more it felt like the city I’d grown up in had changed. People used to speak to each other, the streets were safe… I know, sounds like your standard old-people talk, but I was in my early twenties. Something just wasn’t right.”

 

“To be fair,” Naruto interjected with a raised finger. “You know what they say about us East-coasters.”

 

“Yeah, and you know who says that? Those pricks on the West Coast!” Jiraiya almost shouted, much to Naruto’s amusement. Grinning ruefully as he attracted a few questioning stares, Jiraiya added. “What can I say? Old loyalties. And didn’t I tell you to shut up? Eat your goddamn food!”

 

Naruto held his hands up in mock apology as his mentor continued. “So I moved home, and things seemed different. It doesn’t take me long to find out: guess who’d also moved back?”

 

“Orochimaru?” Naruto asked excitedly, through a mouthful of ramen. His earlier mood had lifted as quickly as it had arrived, Jiraiya’s storytelling always drawing him in.

 

“The one and only. He’d beaten me back home by a few years, and had evidently been busy. The police were desperate enough to put a sketch out, asking anyone for information. Of course, the city was lousy with goths at the time – still is to be honest – so they could have been describing anyone. But the way they talked about his methods… it was brutal, Naruto. And you don’t forget about that kind of thing in a hurry.

 

“So I go to the police, and they direct me towards a newly-promoted Detective Inspector Uchiha. That’s right,” he said in response to Naruto’s jaw hitting the floor. “Sasuke’s father. He looked over my service record, and he offered me an unofficial job: information gathering for his investigation. I took it.”

 

Naruto was gobsmacked. “I didn’t think this would get weirder, but… damn. You worked for Sasuke’s dad?”

 

Jiraiya nodded. “It was an ugly job, and it didn’t earn much, but I felt like I was making a difference. So I gathered a tight web of contacts, and went to work.” He hesitated, his normally jovial face turning serious. “I’d seen a lot of things in my tour, things I buried deep down. But nothing could have prepared me for this. It was a slow, political war, punctuated with the type of violence I’d never imagined in my most twisted nightmares. Just when we thought we had something, it slipped away. Nothing stuck to the gangs. Took us far too long to realise that they had men inside the force. That drove Fugaku harder: he was determined to root out all the corruption, dig out the cancer. But he played the long game, earned their trust, and had me feed him a steady stream of intel. But it couldn’t last.

 

“One of the bigger gangs, The Salamanders, went down. No one expected it, least of all me: years prior, they’d figured out I was an informant, beat me half to death. Their leader, Hanzo, thought it was funnier to leave me alive, like it was beneath him to kill me. The prick.”

 

“What, would you rather he killed you?” Naruto asked incredulously.

 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he didn’t. Doesn’t stop him being a prick though. So, this gang goes down, and Fugaku asks me if I can look into it. By this point, I was doing less work for him: by some miracle my company had taken off, and I was happier for it. I should have listened to my gut, but I still cared about this place. And anyone with enough firepower to take down Hanzo was bad news, bad news which Fugaku needed info on.”

 

He looked at Naruto from under his brow, head bowed, an unfamiliar bite to his voice. “Trust me on two things, Naruto: first, ignorance is bliss; the second is that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Took me a while to find out, but the guy responsible set up shop right in Hanzo’s place. Started his own organisation: Akatsuki. My old student Nagato’s personal gang. He calls himself Pain now.”

 

Jiraiya shook his head solemnly, closing his eyes for a second. “It killed me to hear that. I’d always thought I’d done more good than bad in my life. But here he was, using the things I’d taught him to ruin more lives.”

 

Naruto wasn’t sure what to say. “But… it’s not your fault. You thought you were helping him.”

 

“No. I gave him the tools. The way I see it, I’m responsible.” He paused for a second, composing himself slightly. “It was hard, living with that knowledge. I gave my report to Fugaku, left my company and left the city. I cut all ties, and I travelled. I did a lot of soul-searching, and I decided to dedicate the rest of my life to restoring the balance, so to speak. I wanted to help people. Sometimes I felt like I was running, but I thought it was worth it. At the time, anyway. I read about Sasuke’s parents in a newspaper while I was in Rio. It was exactly the sort of thing I’d feared. I admit, I stopped paying attention after that. I travelled some more.”

 

Jiraiya, sighed, sounded quite choked. “And then, years later, I got a message from Kakashi. I may have made it sound like he made a phone call and found me, but by his estimation it took a good few months of tracking me down. I hadn’t left any way to contact me. I… I didn’t even know about Minato and Kushina. You’d only just been born when I left, and I never imagined anything like that would happen. Once again, my best intentions had been the worst possible decision: if I’d been back, I could have taken care of you. I could have helped you, Naruto. Honestly… not being there for you has been one of my biggest regrets.”

 

Naruto felt himself tear up, Jiraiya’s raw emotion touching him. “Hey, come on… you couldn’t have known. Just being there for me would have been enough, but you’ve done so much for me Jiraiya. You shouldn’t feel guilty.” He laughed shakily. “Come on man, you’re gonna make me cry.”

 

Jiraiya smiled gently. “Thank you, Naruto. It means a lot.”

 

A happy, emotionally-charged moment passed between the two, the silence comfortable. The two of them didn’t often talk feelings, Jiraiya preferring to let his actions speak for the most part. And Naruto respected that, suspecting that Jiraiya’s unspoken guilt had been bubbling under the surface for a while. Naruto understood guilt all too well.

 

“So…” Naruto started, slightly awkwardly. “What happened after that?”

 

“There’s not very much to tell: I came back, had the pleasure of meeting you, and we started training. I haven’t done any police work since then, but I’ve managed to keep my ear to the ground and follow all the news. Kept my finger on the pulse. And here we are.”

 

Naruto sat silently for a second, trying to process all the information. He had a thousand questions about the gangs, the power structures, who controlled what… but he felt it would be inappropriate to ask. Jiraiya obviously didn’t like talking about some of the things he had seen, and with good reason: it sounded horrible. And it made him worried for Sasuke.

 

“You should write a book.” Naruto said eventually.

 

“I’ve written several.”

 

“No, I mean about all this!” Naruto waved his arm at the window, almost knocking out a waiter as she passed. After stuttering out an apology, he turned back to a laughing Jiraiya. “I mean the city, about all the gangs and stuff.”

 

“I know Naruto, I know.” Jiraiya chortled, taking a sip of beer. “But there’s a reason I don’t talk about it much: that kind of knowledge can get you unwanted attention. And it always ends up hurting the ones close to you more than it hurts you. I ended up driving away the only woman I ever loved. We still talk, and sometimes I wonder, but…” He shook his head, but was still smiling. “What was the quote? ‘Our ships passed too late in the night to change course?’ Something like that anyway.”

 

He pointed at Naruto suddenly, his expression suddenly serious. “That’s another thing: if you have a chance to be happy with someone else, you seize it. Don’t overthink it, you do it. We get little enough happiness in this world, and it’s hard not having anyone to share it with. Don’t be like me.”

 

“I’ll do my best, Jiraiya.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto checked his phone anxiously as he waited on Sasuke’s arrival. Crowds of people passed, the Mile even busier than usual. Every year his city hosted one of the world’s most renowned festivals, a month long celebration of music, comedy, every possible kind of performance under the sun. And Naruto loved seeing people from all different cultures come to his little corner of the globe and enjoy themselves.

 

Or at least he loved the idea of it. The truth was it completely ground everything to a halt. Queues were longer, drinks more expensive, and it took so long to get anywhere. Naruto had overestimated his journey, leaving him stupidly early, and was now trying to find somewhere to stand and wait for his friend.

 

_Better too early than late…_

 

The sun blazed overhead, the last dregs of summer filtering through in golden light and good weather. The tourists seemed to be lucky this year, getting the best of the usually dismal weather. Naruto, of course, had forgotten sunglasses and held his hand up to his brow, squinting. He searched the crowds to try find his friend, looking for that distinctive onyx-dark hair.

 

He had held off on texting Sasuke for a while, unsure of what to say. Once he’d got the all-clear from Jiraiya, Naruto had sent a message letting him know, and suggested they meet up. Neither of them wanted to go out drinking during the festival: it was fun to meet new people, but they agreed the night-time crowds weren’t worth it. And Naruto wanted to actually see Sasuke sober for a change. Not that he said as much, of course: he didn’t want to offend him, not so soon after they’d finally reunited.

 

Luckily, Sasuke seemed to have a somewhat unconventional solution: they visit one of the city’s many cathedrals, guaranteed to be quiet despite the festival. Naruto was more than happy to go along with this, as he felt like he hadn’t done nearly enough sight-seeing in his 20-odd years here. Still, he was both nervous and excited about meeting Sasuke once more.

 

He eventually spotted his friend in the crowd and waved him down. Sasuke seemed surprised. “I thought I was gonna have to do some waiting,” he admitted, pushing a pair of dark glasses up his nose. “Dare I say it, your timekeeping has improved?”

 

“It may have…” Naruto said haughtily before giggling. “Nah, I’m just early cause of the festival. Buses are a nightmare about this time.”

 

Sasuke smiled slightly, beginning to walk up the Mile. He was dressed more casually today, the fitted black t-shirt a stark contrast to his usual baggy clothes. Despite the weather he was wearing grey jeans and the Doc Martins he seemed to never be without. The only indication he seemed aware of the weather was a pair of sunglasses, thin metal frames and dark, oval lenses.

 

“Not having to work today?” Naruto asked, pointing at the t-shirt as they fell in step, walking slowly with the crowd.

 

He hummed a yes. “I’m taking a small break. Orochimaru may be gone, but his empire is still here: there’s a big portion to be legitimised. But I’m leaving that to my people for now.”

 

“Good,” Naruto smiled. “I’m glad you’re getting out of it. And you’re taking a break. Although I’m sweating just looking at you.”

 

Sasuke shrugged non-committedly. “I don’t like shorts.”

 

“Or any shoes that aren’t boots, apparently.”

 

“What can I say? I’m a creature of habit.”

 

But despite his insistence he was taking a break, Sasuke looked worse than ever. At a cursory glance he seemed his usual self: well groomed, impeccably dressed, not a strand of hair out of place… but after a second look, Naruto thought he seemed ill. He looked thinner than usual, his cheeks gaunt. He even looked paler than normal, practically translucent in the bright afternoon glow. Naruto could swear that he clenched his jaw tight every so often too. It made him feel uneasy.

 

The two passed unending waves of performers as they climbed the Mile; comedians, magicians, any and every type of musician you could think of, all competing in close quarters for the crowd’s attention. Living statues, a dance troupe, they even saw a man dressed as a wizard balancing on the end of a long staff.

 

“Goddamn,” Naruto muttered, more to himself than anyone, looking up at the bearded wizard. “How does he do that?”

 

Sasuke briefly glanced at the man, frowning slightly. “You see where the staff touches the cloak there?” He leaned past Naruto, pointing, the two close in the crowd. “It’s attached. There’s a platform for him to stand on, or a harness up his back. Sleight of hand.”

 

“Oh. Well that ruins the mystery.”

 

“Somewhat,” Sasuke agreed. “But it’s still impressive.”

 

Naruto nodded silently, pausing to drop a few coins in his collection.

 

Squeezing through a small gap in the dense crowd surrounding a tiny girl with a ukulele, they approached the stone steps of the church. It rose tall against the buildings on either side of it, sharp spires contrasting with sloped tile. It was made of sandstone, the same as most buildings in the city. The rare sunlight made the golden stone light up, like it was being illuminated from within. Naruto had always liked that.

 

As he made his way up the shallow steps, Naruto realised that he hadn’t been inside a church since his last set of foster parents. Unwanted memories pushed their way to the front of his mind, and he hesitated slightly at the entrance. He caught sight of himself in the glass security doors beyond the heavy wooden ones, and was reminded of Orochimaru’s earlier words.

 

_Still just a scared child._

He put it out of his head, trying to forget. He wasn’t going to let the past ruin his day. Naruto crossed the threshold as Sasuke looked back for a second, holding the glass door open. Muttering a quick thanks, Naruto joined him inside the cathedral.

 

For a moment he was awestruck: the massive ceiling, gilded statues, the impressive carvings and artwork, it all created a wonderful, majestic image. To the right, a giant pipe organ rose from the pews, all burgundy wood and shiny chrome.

 

“Wow,” he quietly breathed, struck dumb.

 

“It’s quite something, isn’t it?” Sasuke agreed in the same hushed tones.

 

“Yeah, the last church I was in wasn’t nearly as… fancy.”

 

Sasuke chuckled slightly. “I think ‘fancy’ is an understatement.”

 

“What do you want from me, a sonnet?”

 

Slowly, they progressed into the cathedral, passing rows of simple wooden pews. Naruto pointed up at the ornamental candelabras lining the centre of the enormous arched ceiling. “Those are pretty cool. Makes it feel authentic, you know? Those big fuckers going all the way up the aisle. The place I used to go to didn’t have any of that.”

 

Sasuke’s hooded eyes followed his finger. “Technically, that’s not the aisle. Aisle’s off at the side.”

 

“Wait, what? That doesn’t sound right.”

 

As if he’d planned it, Sasuke dryly pointed at a sign to their left. It led off into a secluded seating area, the placard reading ‘Albany Aisle.’

 

Naruto narrowed his eyes in mock contention. “You win this round, Sasuke.”

 

The man in question just shook his head as Naruto went in to get a closer look. There was a mural of fighting soldiers carved out of dark red stone, accompanied by a list of names.

 

“Damn, look at all of them… really give you a sense of-” He was cut off suddenly as Sasuke swatted him in the arm. Naruto rounded on him, about to ask what the deal was, but found Sasuke jabbing his finger at an elegantly carved sign below the first one.

 

‘A place for silent prayer and contemplation’

 

Sasuke raised the finger to his lips.

 

_Well great, now I feel like an asshole…_

He silently inspected the rest of aisle, which didn’t take long; compared to the size of the cathedral, it wasn’t too big.

 

“Why make a sign like that so small?” Naruto grumbled as they descended the slight step between the aisle and the atrium. “Rules should be written large so idiots like me don’t miss them.”

 

Sasuke shrugged, his eyes skywards. “I don’t think it’s so much a rule, more of a respect thing.”

 

They had moved on, coming to a small alcove to the left. It contained a tomb, white marble carved in the likeness of a man lying in death, holding a sword.

 

“I didn’t peg you as the type to respect Christianity so much. Especially with your…” Naruto trailed off, blushing as he realised what he almost said.

 

“With my…?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

 

Naruto leaned over and tried to busy himself with the intricate tomb of Saint something-or-other. “Well, you know… because of your-”

 

“-Oh, because I fuck other guys?” He asked casually.

 

Naruto almost hit his head on the edge of the tomb’s alcove. “Jesus, Sasuke, not so loud.”

 

“Hey, don’t blaspheme. We’re in a church.”

 

Naruto looked around quickly, but it seemed that the nearby tour group had passed. “You’re the one talking about-” he lowered his voice to a terse whisper “-fucking other guys.”

 

“But I didn’t take their saviour’s name in vain. I still have the moral high ground.” Sasuke smirked, his voice unusually playful. He leaned across the entrance, forearm on the doorway, effectively blocking Naruto in. “So what’s got your panties in a twist, hmm? The fact that I’m so blunt, or that the bible bashers might hear?”

 

Sasuke paused a second, seeming like he’d had a realisation. The teasing half-smile slid from his face, replaced quickly by his usual stoicism. “Sorry, I’m being a dick.” He lowered his arm and leaned his back against the opposite wall, looking away from Naruto into the church. “I’m not being one of those guys who uses their sexuality for shock value. Promised myself I wouldn’t. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Naruto insisted. After the initial surprise had worn off, Naruto felt guilty for reacting the way he had. He thought he was more tolerant than that. “It was just… unexpected, is all. It just takes some getting used to, you know? But I don’t want you censoring yourself on my account.  It’s very… you.”

 

Sasuke smiled a little. “Thanks, Naruto. It means a lot that you try.” The slight smile became a teasing grin once more. “So when are you gonna stop blushing when I talk about fucking dudes?”

 

Sure enough, he felt the colour rise in his cheeks. “I was trying to be… delicate. I didn’t want to offend you.”

 

“Ah Naruto, you’re too pure for this world.”

 

That just made Naruto blush even more. “Fuck off.”

 

Sasuke chuckled under his breath, low and deep. “You don’t need to be ‘delicate’ on my account. Anything you could say, I’ve heard before. And from people that actually meant it, too. I know you’re not a bigot.” He glanced quickly at Naruto. “I am sorry, you know.”

 

“Well you don’t sound it.” Naruto grumbled, but once he’d gotten over the irrational embarrassment he also found it funny. “Let’s get out of here, even the dead guy’s getting uncomfortable at this point.”

 

“Nah, check out that moustache – I think he might be into it.”

 

“Holy shit,” Naruto burst out laughing. Teasing, he added, “Now I thought we weren’t supposed to judge people on stereotypes anymore, Sasuke.”

 

“Yeah. But when I do it, it’s okay.” Sasuke smirked as the wandered out of the alcove.

 

“Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t be an asshole.” Naruto replied, grinning.

 

“True. But when you’re rocking the Freddie Mercury Special…”

 

That just about killed Naruto. Trying to supress his laughter as a stern-looking tour guide furrowed his brow at them, they continued their wanderings. They admired the beautiful stained glass windows; a small side chapel with traditional family crests, shields, and delicately-carved animals on each armrest; and finally the giant pipe organ, the steps allowing access to the console. Any residual awkwardness between the two had faded, Naruto’s warmth drawing Sasuke out of his shell.

 

Sasuke gently stroked his finger over one of the immaculate white keys, not hard enough to activate the behemoth of an instrument. “You know, I always wanted to learn something like this.”

 

Naruto scoffed slightly. “The organ?”

 

“No, just an instrument. Like piano, or guitar. Never had the time though…” His voice changed from wistful for teasing again. “Although I’ll play your organ any day.”

 

“Sasuke!”

 

“Sorry, not sorry. This is too much fun.” He laughed as Naruto, his face deep red, punched him in the arm. “You said you didn’t want me, what was it, ‘censoring myself?’ I’ve got to get some jokes in before you acclimatise to all this gay.”

 

In truth, Naruto wasn’t sure how he felt about the comment. He thought back to the kiss the other night: could Sasuke be attracted to him?

 

_Now just cause a man’s gay doesn’t mean he wants you. Come on, don’t be that guy._

As they climbed the step down the organ, Naruto looked around at the cathedral. “Well I think we’ve seen everything: what now?”

 

Sasuke was silent for a second, scanning the back of the church. “There’s a nice spot up the back there: want to just sit for a while? I find it relaxing being here.”

 

As they sat down, Naruto finally had a second to really look at Sasuke. Getting a full view of his face, Naruto’s earlier suspicions were confirmed: his friend looked ill. There were dark bags under his eyes, his gaze slightly unfocused. Given their usual intensity, Naruto was rather worried.

 

“Look, Sasuke, you okay? You don’t look well.” Naruto asked slowly.

 

He gave a humourless laugh. “Thanks.”

 

“I mean it, Sasuke: in the nicest possible way, you look like crap. What’s up?”

 

Sasuke was silent for a beat, looking like he was deciding whether or not to answer. The once-sharp eyes stared straight ahead, avoiding Naruto’s gaze. “I haven’t slept in a while.”

 

Naruto frowned. “How long?”

 

“Since I was at yours.”

 

“But that was days ago!” Naruto almost shouted, checking himself at the last minute. He lowered the volume. “Has this happened before?”

 

Sasuke seemed amused. “More times than I can count, Naruto.” He leaned back in the pew, throwing one leg over the other and his elbows behind the back rest. “Perks of being me.”

 

Naruto wasn’t sure what to say. “I mean, you could always try pills, or-”

 

“-No.” Sasuke interrupted sharply, followed by a pause. “I don’t wanna get hooked on anything like that. I don’t wanna feel like I need drugs to function. Can we just drop it Naruto? I’ve had enough people offer me advice. I know it comes from a good place, but…” He sighed, shaking his head. “I’ll be frank Naruto, I don’t need that bullshit.”

 

Naruto felt offended for a second, but the statement sounded familiar. “You don’t need people telling you what’s best for you, right?”

 

Sasuke smiled a little, glancing at Naruto. “Something like that.”

 

“Then I’ll drop it.” They sat in silence for a second or two, Naruto desperately trying to come up with another topic. “So I never got an answer to my question earlier: how come you respect all this so much?”

 

Sasuke laughed, shooting a small, wolfish smile at Naruto. “We did get rather distracted, didn’t we?”

 

“I mean it! We’re talking about a religion that’s oppressed just about everyone you can think of.” He countered, trying not to blush again.

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything for a second, just stared up at one of the windows. His eyes seemed more focused. “I must admit, I saw it the same way you did for a long time. But… I dunno. People will use anything to justify bigotry. I’ve met assholes from all walks of life.”

 

“Most of the religious people I’ve met have been total pricks.”

 

“They probably thought the same about you.” Sasuke teased. He pulled a wallet out of the tight jeans, flipping it open and handing Naruto a card. “It might surprise you just how religious some people are.”

 

Naruto, eyebrows raised, took the proffered card. It was simple, black, with a thin, white kanji emblazoned on the front, a slight red glow surrounding the writing. Slightly bemused, he turned it around in his hands. “What’s this supposed to be?”

 

Sasuke smiled patiently, still looking at the beautiful windows. “Ever heard of an omamori before? I doubt it, unless you’re really into anime or something. It’s Shinto.”

 

“Wait, wait, you’re religious?” Naruto asked incredulously. “Since when? And what’s Shinto?”

 

“I know, I don’t seem the type, do I?” Sasuke shrugged light-heartedly. “It’s kinda the prominent religion in Japan. That and Buddhism. My parents were into it, Dad mostly. It was only recently I started looking into it again. It’s pretty laid back to be honest: the only real rule is ‘don’t be a fuckhead.’”

 

“So what’s the oma… card thingy for?”

 

“Omamori.” Sasuke sighed, but explained. “It’s like… spiritual protection. You can get tons for different kinds of wishes, almost.”

 

Naruto nodded – as Sasuke had predicted, he was surprised. “So what does yours do? What’s your wish?”

 

The corner of Sasuke’s lip curled slightly, but it seemed hollow. “Mine’s not the normal deal of good luck, or love. It’s quite a bit older than that.”

 

“That doesn’t tell me anything!” Naruto replied, frustrated as usual with his friend’s evasiveness.

 

“That was the point.” Sasuke took it back with his thin fingers, inserting it into the wallet with care. “If you can read the kanji I’ll tell you. But, if memory serves, you can’t even remember your own name…”

 

“You know you’re not exactly proving the virtues of faith, you mysterious prick.” Naruto grumbled, but in good spirit; he figured it must be quite personal, and Sasuke’s deflection was to protect his privacy.

 

_No matter what, he just doesn’t open up…_

As his friend shrugged again, Naruto continued. “So how much of it do you actually believe? Like, do you really think that carrying round a card is gonna ward off evil?”

 

Sasuke laughed slightly, exhaling through his nose. “No, not really. It’s more a respect thing, you know? And… I like its optimism.” He gestured around at the church. “One thing I don’t like about all this is that it tries to convince you that you’re a bad person. You’re born with sin. In Shinto, everyone is good, more or less. The evil, all that negativity, it’s caused by spirits, or demons. Do I believe in Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, or any of the other countless Gods? No. But I like the idea of it.”

 

Naruto was silent for a second, nodding. “That’s… actually quite nice.”

 

Sasuke hummed in agreement. “The thing is, if you take the bible – and many other holy books too – and you look at the stories as metaphors, it’s quite similar. The message is ‘don’t be a tool,’ and some people need that in their lives.”

 

Naruto frowned. “I hadn’t thought about it like that. I just…” He thought about the last time he was in a church. “I guess I’ve had bad experiences.”

 

Sasuke glanced over at him, a strange expression on his face. “Yeah?”

 

Naruto bit the inside of his cheek. He opened his mouth, about to say the same thing Sasuke had said earlier: drop it.

 

_How can I expect Sasuke to share with me if I don’t do the same with him?_

Naruto thought for a second before he started to speak. “So you remember I had a few shots with foster families?”

 

Sasuke nodded. “None of them ever stuck, right?”

 

“Yeah, and there was a reason for that. I wasn’t just an awkward child. Have you ever heard of IED? Stands for Intermittent Explosive Disorder.” Naruto sighed. “Makes me sound like a bomb, doesn’t it?”

 

Sasuke winced. “Just a little.”

 

“The long and short of it is I have problems controlling anger. If something upsets me enough, I fly off the handle. It didn’t happen often, but when it did… well, just ask Neji.”

 

“That’s what that was?”

 

Naruto nodded, slowly getting more comfortable. “Yeah. He kept calling Hinata worthless, pathetic, and… well you remember. I just can’t believe it led to me becoming friends with him.”

 

Sasuke chuckled slightly. “That could only happen to you, Naruto. I’ve never made any friends with my fists.”

 

Naruto grinned, but it quickly slid from his face. “It didn’t always work out so well. That’s how I always ended up back in care. But it was the last set of foster parents that really stuck out. They were very religious, Church-every-Sunday type Catholics, really hardcore about it. They took me in because apparently God had told them to help the ‘less fortunate.’” He snorted. “Bullshit. They just wanted to feel good about themselves. I overheard the mother talk about ‘increasing their standing in the community.’ But I was fourteen, I didn’t really understand.

 

“They treated me like shit.” Naruto continued. “Not quite the whole Harry Potter cupboard-under-the-stairs deal, but close. They told their own kids not to talk to me, because they might be ‘corrupted.’ Most of my time was spent doing chores, and I wouldn’t get fed if they weren’t done well. But I really tried my best, cause even that was better than feeling unwanted. Negative attention’s better than no attention, right?”

 

The realisation dawned on Sasuke’s face. “So that’s why you always played the clown.”

 

Naruto nodded. “It was only recently I really got to grips with this. Got a proper diagnosis, analysed the way I’d acted… took a while. But Jiraiya helped so much.”

 

“It would… explain a lot.”

 

“Yeah, I know I was a little shit. Who’s being delicate now?” Naruto laughed, but quickly turned serious again. “Anyway, I didn’t finish my story: so I was living with this family for a while, and they took me to meet their priest. Asked me a bunch of questions, pretty standard stuff. And then he asked if I had any confessions.”

 

Naruto was finding it hard to keep going. “I told him about how angry I got. And that I worried it made me a bad person. That fucker told me it did. He looked me straight in the eye, and told me that I was being punished. It was all part of God’s plan, unless of course I started devoting my life to Him. And it made me so angry. The fact that a God could want to do this to me, to fix it so I never knew my parents. To make my life miserable. To make me so goddamn lonely. And it all just built up, and built up, and I-” He cut off as the raw emotion got to him. It wasn’t often he felt the same as he had when he was fourteen. “I head-butted him.”

 

There were several seconds of silence. Naruto glanced at his friend, who looked deep in thought, and went on. “I ran. I didn’t even know where I went, everything just seemed… blurry. The police picked me up, of course. I earned myself a beating with the foster parents, accused of being some sort of demon, then they packed me back into care as soon as they were able. So yeah. I don’t really have a lot of respect for this place, or the people that follow it.”

 

Sasuke exhaled, nodding slightly. “Fuck. I can see why. That’s a fucking horrible thing to say to a child. He deserved that.”

 

Naruto shook his head stubbornly. “But it wasn’t me in control. Sometimes… I mean sometimes the IED feels like a voice whispering in my ear. Telling me to do stuff I know I shouldn’t. Not that I hear voices,” he quickly corrected. He didn’t want Sasuke to think he was nuts. “More like intrusive thoughts.”

 

“I understand what that feels like.” Sasuke said quietly. “Believe me, Naruto, you’re not as crazy as you think.”

 

“So I’m a little crazy then?”

 

“Undoubtedly. Just a bit. But all my favourite people are.” Sasuke smiled, full and genuine. It instantly lifted Naruto’s spirits.

 

 They sat in comfortable silence for a moment or two. Naruto felt a lot better: he hadn’t told anyone that, except Jiraiya. Sasuke’s easy acceptance, his reassurances… it wasn’t exactly what he’d expected. But Sasuke didn’t seem the least bit phased.

 

“Wanna get out of here?” Sasuke ask, slipping the sunglasses off his collar.

 

“Sure,” Naruto smiled, standing up and stretching. He pointed to the sunglasses. “Need to protect your image?”

 

“Yeah, I can’t be seen outside with the likes of you.” Sasuke laughed, carefully putting them on. “They’re for the sun, dumbass.”

 

Naruto placed a hand on his chest with a flourish as they turned to leave, trying to look as outraged as possible. “Seen with me? How dare you! It is I who should be worried about being seen with such a ruffian!”

 

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head but still smiling.

 

They emerged into the soft sunset, Naruto squinting as the last rays of the day peeked over the rooftops.

 

“Wow,” Naruto muttered as he checked his phone: he hadn’t checked it since they’d entered, a rarity for him these days. The downside was he hadn’t realised they’d been inside that long. “We were in there a while: I need to get the next bus or I’m gonna miss my training.”

 

Sasuke glanced at his wrist, humming in agreement as he looked at his watch.

 

_A watch, of course he has a watch! Bastard probably has a mortgage and all…_

In truth, Naruto did feel slightly intimidated by just how adult Sasuke seemed. They were both twenty one, but Naruto still felt like a kid most of the time; Sasuke, in comparison, had spent however-many years working for a criminal, done all sorts of things that Naruto couldn’t even begin to guess. Hell, the only job Naruto ever had was at the publishing firm, and he’d only got that because his Godfather owned the damn company.  Half of his friends were at college or university, or in a job with actual career prospects. They were working towards something, and he was just kinda… stuck.

 

It must have shown on his face. “You alright?” Sasuke asked quietly as they moved through the dwindling crowds. Naruto nodded silently, not wanting to unload any more on his friend today.

 

As if he’d read his mind, Sasuke paused for a second before continuing. “You know, I appreciate what you told me. That sort of thing isn’t easy to share. I’m not good at advice, but if you ever need someone to listen… well, you have my number. I know I’ve brushed you off before, but that’s gonna change. I promise. I’ll always have time for you, Naruto.”

 

Naruto smiled as his friend looked away awkwardly. Feelings definitely weren’t Sasuke’s strong suit. “Thanks man. Same to you, okay? If today’s taught me anything, it’s that we aren’t nearly as fucked up as we think.”

 

Sasuke said nothing, scratching his jaw, eyes dead ahead. “Thanks,” he eventually muttered through his teeth.

 

_Poor guy. Even his issues have issues._

Naruto couldn’t help but wonder for the umpteenth time what had happened that night three years ago. If even a fraction of what the news had said about Itachi was true, then…

 

_A weaker man might not be here at all._

The thought set his teeth on edge.

 

There was a comfortable silence between the two as they walked down the Mile, but Naruto couldn’t take it anymore: he had to know what had happened.

 

“Hey, Sasuke, I-”

 

But he was cut off as they passed a boisterous man handing out leaflets for a show. Throwing his hand into the air, shouting, he wasn’t much different from the dozens of others that descended on the city this time of year. But it was the content that threw Naruto slightly.

 

“Gayest Thing You’ll Ever See! The show that’s rocking the country, Gayest Thing You’ll Ever See!”

 

Naruto was stunned for a second. “That’s certainly… different.”

 

Sasuke, who until this point had stubbornly ignored any fliers thrust at him, leaned past Naruto. “Attention grabbing,” he agreed as he took one, looking up at the man from under his brow. “I take that as a personal challenge.”

 

“You won’t be disappointed,” the man grinned, wide and toothy. “You look like the kinda guy that’d enjoy it.”

 

“Well, if the shoe fits…” Sasuke called over his shoulder as they continued.

 

Naruto burst out laughing after he got over the initial shock. “Oh God, that was brilliant! Gayest thing you’ll ever see!”

 

He was laughing so hard he snorted, which tipped Sasuke over the edge.

 

“Shut it!” Naruto yelled, still laughing, slapping the giggling Sasuke on the arm.

 

Sasuke grinned as he scratched the corner of his eye, that smug smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Nah, it’s adorable.”

 

Naruto tried not to blush again. He failed.

 

They approached Naruto’s bus stop, quickly checking the timetable. His one was in three minutes.

 

_If I’m gonna ask him, it needs to be now._

“I had a good time tonight, Naruto. It’s been a while since I properly enjoyed myself.” Sasuke paused for a second, thinking. “Without booze, anyway.”

 

“Same,” Naruto grinned, but it soon faded. “Look, Sasuke, I hate bringing this up. But I have to know.”

 

The gentle smile disappeared from Sasuke’s face in an instant, shutting down and reverting to inscrutable stoicism.

 

“Did…” Naruto started, trailing off as he saw his bus round the corner, the only one that would get him to training on time; he had to hurry. “Is- is it true? What they said about Itachi?”

 

Sasuke said nothing for a second, staring off the bridge into the distant hills outside the city.

 

“I’m sorry Sasuke, but I need to-”

 

“It’s true. Every word.” Sasuke’s face was calm but his eyes, still out to the green, burned. “He told me himself.”

 

And without another word, he turned heel and walked away.

 

“Sasuke, wait!” Naruto yelled as the bus pulled up to the curb. He had to make a split second decision: go to the training session, or go after Sasuke.

 

All things considered, it was an easy choice.

 

“Ah, fuck.” He spat as he high-tailed it in Sasuke’s direction.

 

Getting to the end of the bridge, he looked down both ends of the Mile, but had no clue which direction Sasuke had gone.

 

_Come on, he can’t have gone that far…_

But Sasuke was nowhere to be seen, blended into crowds entering and leaving pubs, and the more persistent performers.

 

“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered, pulling out his phone. He dismissed the ‘Battery Critically Low’ warning, finding Sasuke’s number and hitting dial.

 

_I shouldn’t have pushed him. What the fuck was I thinking? ‘I need to know’ – what bullshit!_

All these thoughts ran through his head at a thousand miles per hour as the phone rang out: Sasuke wasn’t picking up. He cursed again, hit redial, but his phone gave a pathetic buzz as the screen went black.

 

“Son of a-” Naruto managed to contain himself as a family with young kids passed him.

 

_I’ve totally fucked things up. One day with him and I’ve already fucked up._

He stood still for a second, slowed his breathing, and tried to think logically.

 

_It’s okay, the bus goes up this way, I can still make training and call Sasuke later…_

He turned to run to the next stop when the bus passed.

 

Groaning in exasperation, he set off at top speed, narrowly avoiding a taxi as he bolted across the road. But he was just too late: the bus crawled to a start as he reached the stop, hand raised.

 

_Damn it, now I’m gonna have to call Jiraiya. On my dead phone…_

_Fuck-nuggets._

As he sat the prerequisite twenty minutes until the next bus, he tried not to worry about keeping Jiraiya waiting. He’d probably just laugh and say that old Russian proverb he was fond of: “chase two rabbits and you’ll catch neither.”

 

But Sasuke weighed heavily on his mind. Just imagine having that hanging over your head. Naruto couldn’t believe it then, and even all these years later he was finding it hard. But here it was, straight from Sasuke’s own mouth.

 

Itachi Uchiha had murdered his own parents.

 

(╯’;□’;)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

**Three years ago**

 

Naruto had been in class when it happened. It hadn’t seemed like anything was amiss at first. But then again, these things never do.

 

The rain had been hammering hard all day. Sheets and sheets of dense droplets pounded the streets, the trees swaying hard with the wind. That had always stuck out in his mind: first it was slamming the classroom windows; then it soaked him to the bone; it ended with the gutters running red.

 

The Headmaster needed to speak to Sasuke. He left the class… and didn’t come back. It didn’t seem unusual though; they had only been a few minutes from lunch. Naruto had gathered his friend’s jacket and bag and waited in their usual lunchtime spot. Then he saw it.

 

The cafeteria had a big television on one wall, usually tuned to the news in a failing effort to get students engaging with the world. It was mostly ignored, but not today. There was a familiar face on display in the corner of the screen, the anchor’s words drowned out by the noise of hungry students. The scrolling banner at the bottom was clear enough though.

 

**Breaking: Itachi Uchiha, prime suspect in Uchiha Massacre.**

Itachi Uchiha.

 

It took Naruto a second to process this, Sakura similarly stunned next to him. He took a few steps forward, shoving people out of the way so he could hear.

 

“…and once again, police urge citizens not to approach Uchiha: as well as being the prime suspect in the Uchiha Massacre, Itachi Uchiha is believed to have connections to organised crime, and possible contacts within the police force. We are trying to reach-” She cut off, her eyes drifting from the camera, one finger up to her ear. “Some new information coming through now, it appears that-”

 

And the picture cut off, replaced by the channel’s globe logo, spinning silently on a red and white background. Naruto couldn’t move. He couldn’t think.

 

_This can’t be true. Not his brother._

A sudden hand on his shoulder made Naruto jump, breaking out of his shock: Iruka stood behind him, face flushed, looking out of breath. “Naruto! Have you seen Sasuke? He ran out of the headmaster’s office, and…” He paused, glancing up at the TV.

 

“Sasuke’s gone?” Naruto asked sharply, mind slamming into overdrive: if Sasuke wasn’t here, then… “I haven’t seen him.” Naruto said quickly, eyes flickering to the silent screen and back.

 

Iruka cursed under his breath, spinning away to confer with another teacher.

 

_If Sasuke’s not here, he’ll have gone to confront Itachi himself._

Sakura stood next to him, wide eyes glued to the screen. Naruto hesitated, but bit the bullet. He couldn’t afford to be scared now. “I’m going to find him, Sakura. If what they’re saying is true… he needs help.”

 

He turned to leave but Sakura grabbed his arm, a surprisingly strong death grip. “Bring him back safe, Naruto.” Where her eyes had showed fear was now determination. “Promise me.”

 

Naruto paused, thrown for a second. Then he smiled as confidently and assuredly as possible. “Don’t worry Sakura, I’m not gonna let him get hurt.”

 

The smile faded as soon as he left the building.

 

_I wish I could believe that._

He ran out into the heavy sheets of rain, the cold hitting him hard. He hadn’t taken his jacket, but there was no time to go back: flipping the orange hoodie over his head, he sprinted hard into the howling wind. He’d never before run as hard or fast. The streets flew by, people and cars ignored, the world narrowed to one objective.

 

Find Sasuke.

 

He eventually reached Sasuke’s flat, almost barrelling past as he attempted to slow down. Out of breath, his hood blown down so many times he’d stopped bothering with it, the wind and rain lashing hard at his back, he’d finally got there.

 

_It’s gonna be okay. We’ve had some close calls before, but it’s always been okay. He’s gonna be fine._

Naruto frantically slammed all of the buzzers, hoping someone would let him in. No questions asked, a kind or indifferent soul opened the door for him. Taking the stairs three at a time, he got closer and closer.

 

_He’ll be okay. He’s gonna be okay._

The plain white door suddenly loomed in front of him. A simple silver nameplate read ‘Uchiha’ in a neat script. It was ajar, soft light spilling from within. Panting, he slowly pushed it open. And…

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto jolted up from the stop’s bench, hailing the incoming bus just in time. He didn’t care to relive the rest of that memory.

 

As he sat down and the bus slowly gained speed, he went over exactly what had happened for the thousandth time. The more he’d thought about it, the stranger it seemed. If Itachi was a wanted criminal, how did Sasuke manage to get to him before the police did? Surely the flat was the first place they’d look? But they hadn’t arrived until after both Sasuke and Itachi had left…

 

And then there was the news broadcast: why would the police let a supposed criminal like Itachi know they were coming for him? It had obviously been pulled at the last second as well, cutting the anchor off mid-sentence. He wasn’t sure what it all meant, and thinking about it all made his head hurt.

 

Naruto had always thought there was more to the story than he knew. But now there was one question answered. Did Itachi really kill his parents and torch their childhood home?

 

Apparently he had.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Naruto pushed Sasuke away once more, or will he get the chance to mend their already-fragile relationship? And will some of Sasuke's old colleagues make that harder?

“Double kill, bitches!” Kiba whooped, throwing one arm in the air before quickly latching it back onto the controller in his hand.

 

“That was a lucky grenade.” Shikamaru grumbled, staring at the television as he waited for his character to respawn.

 

Shino’s eyes didn’t leave the screen either as he navigated the tight corridors of the level. “No, it’s because you were too close together.”

 

“Yeah, I taught you a lesson about spacing. No need to thank me.” Kiba crowed, his face falling a second later as he ate a bullet to the face. “The fucking sniper again Shikamaru? Get close and kill me like a man!”

 

“Since you had the shotgun AND the hammer, I’m glad I passed.” Shikamaru replied coolly, smiling slightly. “Naruto, get your head in the game: I’m not usually the competitive type, but I’ll be damned if we’re losing to Team Edgelord.”

 

“That’s Sir Edgelord and The Edgelet to you,” Kiba replied. Shino just grunted.

 

Naruto looked up from his phone, shoving it back in the pocket of his hoodie. “Sorry,” he muttered, rubbing his right arm for a second: the injury was acting up again today, as it did every so often. The most he could hope was that it didn’t prove too disruptive, and the pain wasn’t too distracting. That wasn’t the issue today, however.

 

It had been several days since Naruto had seen Sasuke at the Cathedral, and in that time he hadn’t heard anything back. He was worried sick; although Jiraiya hadn’t seemed bothered by his tardiness, he did seem to know something was wrong. He hadn’t pushed though, for which Naruto was grateful. As soon as he’d got home he’d plugged his phone in and called, but it had gone to voicemail. Same as the next hundred times he’d called, and no reply to several lengthy apology texts.

 

He’d spent the next few days moping about his flat until Shikamaru had asked him over: they were having one of Kiba’s famous Xbox parties, just like when they were kids. Naruto couldn’t refuse. And here he was, bottom of the scoreboard in Halo, mind a million miles away.

 

He sat forward, trying to focus on the game. Shikamaru lounged back in the sofa beside him, completely ignoring Kiba’s glares from above their television screen; he and Shino sat opposite them with a screen of their own. When they were younger, Shino used to haul a tiny CRT screen to Kiba’s. Now two flatscreens sat back to back, their Student Loans well spent.

 

Killed again (another well-placed grenade by Kiba), Naruto checked his phone once more. It had become a sort of compulsion for him, just in case he missed a text from Sasuke, not mattering that it had only been a few minutes since he last pulled it out.

 

“You expecting a call Naruto?” Shikamaru asked, glancing sideways at him.

 

“Hmm?” Naruto asked, half paying attention.

 

“You’ve been glued to your phone the last few hours: that’s usually Sakura’s thing, not yours. It’s like when Kiba sent his Uni application, he was running to the computer every two seconds to check his emails.” Shikamaru grinned, craning his neck around the screens to finally look at Kiba. “Despite the fact that he’d only sent it in half an hour beforehand.”

 

“Hey, shut it! I don’t expect you to understand since you’re a lazy bastard, but it’s nerve-wracking!”

 

“Maybe if you’re an idiot.” Shino scoffed. “They give you an estimate of when you’ll hear back. I applied for the same places as you. Did you see me leaning on the refresh key?”

 

“Alright Shikamaru, cool it with that Sherlock shit,” Naruto laughed, flinching out of reflex as Kiba lobbed an empty coke can at Shino. “Yeah, I’m waiting to hear from someone.”

 

Kiba grinned, all teeth. “Is it your boyfrien- oh shit!” He cut off abruptly as Naruto peppered him with bullets, catching against a wall with nowhere to run.

 

“You sure you want to go with the boyfriend jokes?” Shikamaru asked as he finished off Shino. “Cause from here it looks like the only one sucking dick is you.”

 

Kiba said nothing as they all laughed, just mashing the respawn button. As he got back in the game, however, the noise soon died down: the game would end in a few points, and the boys’ competitive nature wouldn’t let them lose easily. But Naruto was distracted again.

 

He’d laughed at Kiba and Shikamaru’s jokes, the sort of things they’d said hundreds of times. ’You’re gay; is that your boyfriend; you suck dick…’ it had all been a vague concept before. But now there was a face attached to that concept, an entire life. It made him feel uneasy. What was it Sasuke had said?

 

_‘Anything you could say, I’ve heard before. And from people that actually meant it, too. I know you’re not a bigot.’_

But how do you tell a bigot from a comedian?

 

Dodging a rocket fired by Kiba, he quickly decided to ponder that particular philosophical question another time.

 

Shikamaru was caught in the explosion, his health drained instantly. Catching motion on his radar, Naruto spun round to see Shino sprinting at him, glowing sword raised, before he too exploded in a searing blue light; Shikamaru must have got one good grenade off before he died.

 

“Next point wins: kick his ass, Naruto!” Shikamaru yelled as Shino dropped his controller on the sofa.

 

“No chance,” Kiba laughed on the gantry above as he reloaded. “I’ve got the rockets, motherfucker!”

 

In a split second Naruto realised he’d been in exactly this scenario before, the positions reversed: when Sasuke had been over, the first time he’d ever picked up a controller. It was quite a common play, the rocket launcher able to devastate teams on the ground from that height. What wasn’t so common was Sasuke’s response.

 

And Naruto was going to try recreate it.

 

He fired off a few shots, goading Kiba into shooting before he had a clear angle. It wasn’t difficult: Kiba, like Naruto, was still very easy to bait. The instant the rocket fired, Naruto sprinted towards the gravity lift to his left. Kiba cursed and tried again, but Naruto was already flying up towards him, propelled by the gravity-altering pad; the second rocket sailed harmlessly under him.

 

Naruto reached the gantry, his finger squeezing the trigger before his boots even touched the ground. Kiba absorbed a full clip of assault rifle rounds, trying desperately to reload. But it was too late. His armour crackled yellow as the shields failed, and the last thing his character saw was the butt of Naruto’s gun straight to his face.

 

“Game over!” The announcer said calmly as Naruto cheered and Kiba nearly threw his controller out the window. The commotion brought Akamaru in from his spot next to the radiator in the kitchen, barking and wagging his tail boisterously. He bounded over, licking Kiba’s face and putting all of his considerable weight into it; Kiba couldn’t be mad for long under the assault of sloppy kisses, laughing with the rest of them and scratching the big dog behind the ear.

 

Kiba smiled grudgingly, looking up from Akamaru. “I hate to admit it, but that was a good play.” He jumped up and ran through to the kitchen, Akamaru at his heels. After a second he came back with two cans of beer, tossing one over the televisions at Naruto. “To the victor go the spoils.”

 

“To the victor!” Naruto proclaimed in the most pompous voice he could muster, holding the can up for a second before ripping off the tab. He hadn’t planned on drinking, and it was only three in the afternoon…

 

_Fuck it. I’m allowed to relax._

“Where’s mine?” Shikamaru asked, sitting up and placing his controller gently on the coffee table.

 

“You haven’t earned one, you camping son of a bitch.”

 

Shikamaru grumbled slightly under his breath, but got up to grab some for himself and Shino.

 

“Good job” Shino raised his beer over the back-to-back screens, tapping it gently against the rim of Naruto’s.

 

Naruto beamed, bringing the can to his lips. “Thanks, but I can’t take credit: it was Sa-” he caught himself quickly, stuttering. “S-some guy on YouTube. Like a tactics video, you know?”

 

Shikamaru hummed an acknowledgement, but had a strange look on his face. “Is that right? Not like you at all, Naruto.”

 

“Just fed up of losing to people like you that can think a hundred steps ahead is all.” Naruto tried not to let his nerves show: although lazy, Shikamaru was just as sharp as Sasuke. He’d pick up on something like that.

 

“Not going to happen,” Shikamaru grinned, taking a deep sip.

 

_Think I got away with it… damn it Naruto, what’s wrong with you?_

“Right, so we could play…” Kiba huffed, jumping forward in his seat, holding up the boxes as he rattled off the list of games. “Call of Duty, Gears of War, Battlefield, Minecraft if you all fancy being total faggots, or…or we could stay on Halo, do online matches. We used to kick so much ass back in the day, haven’t done that in ages!”

 

The others agreed instantly, the nostalgia winning over all options. But it felt like Naruto’s guts had dropped into his shoes when he heard Kiba say that word. Faggot. Like before, it wasn’t the first time he’d heard it, but it seemed so much more offensive now. And to be coming out of his friend’s mouth…

 

_It just doesn’t feel right._

Still, he didn’t want to say anything: he felt like a hypocrite for just noticing now.

 

“This is gonna get intense fast,” Shikamaru sighed, pushing himself up by the legs. “I’m going out for a smoke first.”

 

“I’ll come with, get some air.” Naruto said quickly, jumping up after him. Shikamaru was usually his first port of call when it came to moral dilemmas, not that they came up much. He would understand Naruto’s concerns.

 

“So,” Shikamaru trailed off as he closed the door and sat down on the front step. “What’s eating you, Naruto?”

 

“What?” Naruto asked, surprised, looking up from his phone: still nothing.

 

“You seem pretty out of it today.” Shikamaru shrugged, gesturing with his lighter at Naruto’s phone. “And you can’t stop looking at your phone. If you were just waiting for a call surely you wouldn’t have to keep checking it?”

 

“Yeah, I guess. Something’s been bothering me.” Naruto paused for a second, still deciding how to start. “So I made a new friend recently, and… well, he’s gay.”

 

“Right,” nodded Shikamaru. “Does that bother you?”

 

“No-no-no, not at all!” Naruto said quickly. “Like, just that he’s my first gay friend, and… now some of the stuff that Kiba says seems…”

 

“Rather off-colour, huh?” Shikamaru finished, nodding some more.

 

“Yeah.” Naruto replied weakly. “I mean, am I a hypocrite for not noticing it before? Does it make Kiba a bad person? Does it make me a bad person?”

 

Shikamaru was silent for several seconds, staring at the burning end of the hand-rolled cigarette he held between his index and middle finger. “You’ve met Kiba’s sister, right?”

 

Naruto frowned at the seemingly off-topic question, but answered nonetheless: Shikamaru would surely have some point to make. “Hana? Yeah, she was always there whenever I was at Kiba’s. His mum was always busy working, so she half raised him.”

 

“Exactly.” Shikamaru took a long draw, turning to look at Naruto leaning on the fence. “Hana’s gay, Naruto.”

 

“Hana’s…”

 

“Gay. She likes girls.”

 

“Huh.” That wasn’t what Naruto had expected at all.

 

“Yeah. And remember when Kiba got suspended?”

 

Naruto was now more confused than ever. “Because he kept smuggling Akamaru into class in his jacket?”

 

“No you idiot, the other time. When he tried to punch out that senior that called Hana a slut.”

 

“Oh yeah, that time. That does make more sense. “Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his neck. “He got his ass beat a bit, didn’t he?”

 

Shikamaru chuckled, the cigarette bouncing dangerously in his mouth. “Not badly enough that it wasn’t funny. But do you really think he’d say something that would offend someone he loved?”

 

“Well, no, but just cause she isn’t hurt by it doesn’t mean that other people aren’t.”

 

“Very true,” Shikamaru conceded, shifting his weight to point the cigarette at Naruto. “But have you ever heard him say that to a gay person? Or even in front of one?”

 

“Of course not. I would have said something.”

 

Shikamaru nodded. “Any of us would have, that wouldn’t have been cool. But I can guarantee that Kiba hasn’t made jokes like that to anyone but us. That’s the thing though: he trusts that we know he isn’t serious. He likes edgy, ironic humour, remember? He went to Pride March last year for God’s sake.”

 

Naruto felt conflicted now. Shikamaru made sense, but it still felt wrong. “Don’t you think there are some words you shouldn’t ever say?”

 

“I think…” Shikamaru began slowly as he ground his cigarette butt into an ashtray next to the door and stood up. “That it’s the intent, not words, that matter. But if you asked Kiba to stop using any word you felt uncomfortable with I have every confidence he would take it to heart.”

 

He opened the door again, kicking off his shoes as they entered the hallway. “Think on it, Naruto. And if you still don’t like it, just talk to him. But it doesn’t make him a bad person. And you cared enough to talk about it in the first place: I don’t reckon you’re a bad person either.”

 

Naruto followed him through the doorway, leaving his own shoes on. “You’ve given me a shit-ton to think about, Shikamaru.”

 

He smiled over his shoulder as he smoothed over his bushy ponytail. “Any time, dude.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“Grenade, watch it!”

 

“Ah, fuck.” Kiba muttered, draining the last of his can as his character flew into the air like a ragdoll.

 

Several hours, many matches and even more beers later, and everyone was a little tipsy. Kiba, however, was a bit further on than the rest of them. He threw his can at the bin, only to have it bounce off the rim to join the pile of other off-target launches.

 

Shino sighed. “You remember when this place used to be clean?”

 

“I know right?” Kiba laughed, dying again rather quickly. “It was right about the time Shikamaru took Hinata’s room, wasn’t it?”

 

“Only cause she tidied up after you for a good year before she got fed up and bought a place of her own.” Shikamaru sighed, trying to concentrate on both the conversation and the game. “Why she even slummed it here for that long is beyond me. She has plenty of money.”

 

“It’s because she wanted that authentic student experience. You know, living away from home, with your friends.” Naruto butted in. “She didn’t want to miss out on anything just cause she’s rich.”

 

“That’s fair I suppose,” Kiba muttered, reaching down to crack open another beer. “I mean we weren’t horrible to live with, were we?”

 

“No, of course not.” Naruto replied, casting a quick glance over at his friend. “I was here half the time, remember? You guys are fine.”

 

Kiba grinned, looking slightly embarrassed. “That was strange, wasn’t it? When you were dating Hinata.”

 

“I’d be going in to get some lunch and Naruto would be there in her dressing gown, making himself a sandwich, quite the thing.” Shino smiled slightly, just at the corner of his mouth.

 

“If that bothered you, you should have seen how we made sandwiches at mine.”

 

They all laughed, Kiba almost knocking over his can. Shikamaru finished his too, leaning forward to grab another; like Kiba, he was now onto the unrefrigerated beer. “Someone really should have put this in the fridge,” he complained as he sipped the tepid drink.

 

“If you want to run your ass up every two minutes and lose us matches, be my guest.” Kiba leaned forward as said match ended, the boys losing by quite a margin. “Here, Naruto, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you.”

 

“Oh god, here we go.” Shino groaned. Shikamaru similarly sighed.

 

Naruto laughed, setting the controller down as he picked up his own beer. “Okay, I’ve gotta hear this.”

 

“Trust me, you don’t.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “It’s creepy.”

 

“It’s not creepy, I’m just curious!” Kiba snapped, turning on Naruto again. “So when you were staying over we never usually heard anything from Hinata’s room. And I was wondering if… how...”

 

“For Christ’s sake,” Shikamaru grumbled, cutting off his friend. He folded his arms, going slightly red. “He wants to know what the sex was like.”

 

Naruto just about spat his beer all over the floor. The way Kiba was going had worried him, but he wasn’t expecting _that_.

 

“Well when you say it like that it sounds like I’m some sort of pervert!” Kiba pointed a finger to his right. “I’m just trying to settle a bet with Shino.”

 

Shino raised his hands in innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Kiba. I want nothing to do with this.”

 

“No-no-no, you don’t get out of this one that easy. Remember when Chouji brought round that bottle of absinthe and you got blackout drunk? And when Naruto and Hinata went to bed we were talking about personality types and what they were like in bed. You,” he continued pointing his finger at Shino, “didn’t believe shy girls could be crazy in bed. So we decided we’d ask Naruto about Hinata. Just to settle the bet.”

 

“I don’t remember that.” Shino frowned.

 

“Unfortunately I do.” Shikamaru said, shaking his head. “I was in the kitchen getting water for Chouji since he’d curled up next to Akamaru in the dog bed. Heard the whole thing.”

 

Naruto was amazed, trying to think back to that night himself: he’d had about as much as Shino. “That was like a year ago guys. Have you been holding onto this that whole time?”

 

“Honestly,” Kiba started, grinning, raising his hands and spilling beer on his t-shirt. “I forgot until very recently. But you guys split a bit after that. Wasn’t really the right time to ask.”

 

“Wow Kiba, you have so much tact.” Naruto laughed, amused by the whole situation.

 

“Thank you. Now how was she in the sack?”

 

Naruto grinned slyly: he knew Kiba fancied himself a player, but in terms of experience... “Well, I don’t kiss and tell, but… Kiba’s right, Shino. Gotta look out for the quiet ones.”

 

In truth, for the longest time Naruto hadn’t known that his and Hinata’s sex life was atypical. That was one of their strongest connections together: their sexual compatibility. It had only been when he’d overheard Ino talking to Sakura about one of her boyfriends that it really clicked. Not that he was eavesdropping: Ino was quite candid about her more intimate moments, as they appeared in a lot of her drunken anecdotes. It was only then that he realised how wild he and Hinata had been.

 

Shino grunted his acceptance. “At least you had the good grace to be quiet about it.”

 

“That’s true,” Shikamaru said, raising his eyebrows. “Last party I was at was for someone’s birthday. He got dragged away halfway through by his partner for his ‘present’ – an extremely awkward ten minutes for everyone else, the loud bastards.”

 

“See this is why I can’t wait for Uni,” Kiba crowed, leaning back and resting his feet on the coffee table. “Drunk chicks with little to no standards.”

 

“I mean, the guy got his birthday present from his boyfriend Scott, so you might actually have a chance.”

 

Naruto snorted with the others, taking another drink. He felt much better laughing at that kind of humour again after his talk with Shikamaru, but he still had a lot to think about. He would ask Sasuke about it soon.

 

_If you haven’t completely burnt that particular bridge._

He felt something buzz against his leg, taking a second to figure out what it was: his phone. He jumped up, apologising quickly as he left the room, Kiba making rather suggestive choking noises to put him off. Excited, he checked the caller ID, heart leaping when he saw the name he’d been waiting for.

 

“Hey,” he answered, trying not to sound too nervous.

 

“Hello Naruto,” came the soft reply.

 

There was a small pause, a second or two where Naruto was unsure if he would accidentally interrupt. “Hey, it’s… it’s good to hear from you Sasuke. Listen, I’m so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

 

“No Naruto, I’m the one that should be apologising.” Sasuke sighed. He sounded tired. “I should have told you much sooner. It wasn’t fair keeping it from you, no matter how much I don’t like to talk about it. Walking away was… immature. And not getting in touch was worse. So… I’m sorry.”

 

Naruto had expected to have to do some grovelling, not even considering that he’d get an apology. “Hey, thanks man. I appreciate that. I shouldn’t have pushed you though. That wasn’t fair. It could have waited.”

 

“I suppose you’re right.” Naruto thought he could hear a hint of a smile in Sasuke’s voice. “So I guess we’re both terrible people.”

 

“I guess,” Naruto laughed, pacing the corridor. “I just… I just wanna know if you’re okay. I was worried, you know?”

 

“I’m fine. Just had a lot to do the last few days.”

 

“That break didn’t last long, huh?” Naruto tried to keep his tone light-hearted, but Sasuke still sounded ill: if he didn’t ease up he’d make himself worse for sure.

 

“Never does,” Sasuke chuckled slightly. “You get complacent, and someone attacks you… your work, I mean.”

 

“Just remember to take a break every so often, okay? I know it’s hard legitimising half a crime empire but don’t kill yourself.”

 

Sasuke seemed to think that was funny. “No danger of that, don’t worry. And on that subject: are you free tonight?”

 

“Emm,” Naruto paused, looking back towards the door to the living room. “Nothing major. Why?”

 

“There’s a gig tonight at the Whisky Bar. I’ve wanted to see these guys for a while. Want to come with? We can further your education of decent music.” Sasuke teased.

 

It didn’t take long for him to make up his mind. “Yeah, sounds fun. I’m actually with Shino, Kiba and Shikamaru right now: do you want me to invite them too?”

 

Sasuke sounded slightly awkward as he answered. “I don’t think that’s a good idea Naruto.”

 

It was the same words he’d used before. Naruto was about to accept it without further pressure, but he was surprised when Sasuke elaborated. “I know you’ve accepted me back but… I’m not sure the others would. I don’t want to cause a rift between you.”

 

Naruto had no idea Sasuke was worried about that: it made him sad, but he was flattered that his friend was trying to look out for him. After what had happened the other day, he decided not to push it. “If you’re sure, Sasuke. When do you want me?”

 

“Whisky bar, seven?”

 

Naruto quickly lifted the phone from his ear to check the time. “I’ll be cutting it a bit fine, but I think I can make it: I’m at Shikamaru’s flat right now, we’re out in the sticks.”

 

“See you there.” And without any further ado, he hung up.

 

Slightly surprised at suddenly being cut off, Naruto headed back through to break the news that he was leaving. Within minutes he was out the door and on a bus back into town, still slightly buzzed. The excitement soon outweighed the nerves: it looked like the evening was on the up.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Sasuke was leaning against the hard brick wall outside the bar, a cigarette to his lips. Naruto, slightly late at quarter past the hour, waved as he joined his friend.

 

He was looking worse than ever, several new cuts and bruises added to his collection. Particularly nasty was a black eye, complete with a scabbed cut through his eyebrow, as well as some of his half-healed injuries from the last time he was at Naruto’s; the dressing was finally off his arm, a deep cut running from the crook of his elbow down. He still looked pale and drawn, deep bags under his eyes. The only good news was that his eyes looked sharper than last time. He tucked the lighter into the pocket of his black shirt, tighter than the ones he usually wore, but open a fair way down the chest.

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Naruto apologised. “I got the last of the festival traffic.”

 

Sasuke nodded, taking a deep draw. “Thank Christ it’s over in a few days. Just hope the bar isn’t too crowded.”

 

Their hopes were dashed as they entered, it being the busiest Naruto had ever seen it. “I’ll buy first,” Sasuke grunted as they made their way to the bar. “What do you want?”

 

Naruto had sobered up slightly on the bus, but thought he better not chance mixing his drinks. “Budweiser, cheers.”

 

As they waited they could hear the music starting through the back. “Don’t worry,” Sasuke reassured him as they slowly gained ground on the bar. “It’ll only be the support band. There’s usually two for smaller gigs. Hope they’re better than the last guys I saw here.”

 

As they got their drinks and paid the necessary £5 for entry, Naruto was blasted by a wall of noise. He wandered up to the middle of the room, Sasuke behind him, examining the band.

 

Five members had taken the stage: a large, burly man with a ginger Mohawk sat behind the drums, absolutely battering the poor kit; there was a tan bassist with long, shaggy hair, his hands moving so fast it looked like he had more than just the two; the guitarists were next, looking nigh identical, one hanging back by the amps and the other with a foot on the monitor, showing off; finally was the only girl in the band, wearing a beanie over her long red hair.

 

The girl was screaming into the microphone like a woman possessed, the bassist and showboating guitarist occasionally adding backup. When she wasn’t singing the woman brought a flute up to the microphone, mixing with the heavy guitars in a very pleasant way. It was a good first impression: Naruto immediately liked the music.

 

He turned round to say as much to Sasuke, but found him standing in the doorway, frozen. Someone crashed into the back of him, sending Sasuke flying forward a few feet. He managed to regain his footing, saving his drink and waving an apology at the man behind him. Sasuke stalked up to Naruto, his eyes not leaving the stage.

 

“We have to go!” He shouted in Naruto’s ear above the music.

 

“What?” Naruto asked, confused: they’d only just got there. “Why? I like these guys!”

 

Without another word, Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s wrist and dragged him out of the venue, up through the bar, slamming his full glass on the counter as he passed. Naruto resisted for the first few seconds, but figured there wasn’t much point: he would have followed Sasuke anyway.

 

“What the Hell?” Naruto yelled as they barrelled out the doors, still holding his bottle. “Sasuke, what’s wrong?”

 

Sasuke said nothing for a second, running a hand through his hair: Naruto had rarely seen him this agitated, talking faster than normal. “I should have checked who was on support. It’s the guys in that band, Sound Four. Trust me, they’re bad news.”

 

Naruto was confused. “Sound Four? Isn’t there five of them?”

 

“That really isn’t important now, Naruto.” Sasuke snapped, almost growling.

 

“Jesus, alright. So we’re just leaving?”

 

“They aren’t gonna be too happy to see me here. I usually wouldn’t care, but I don’t want them seeing you, Naruto.” He slowed down slightly, calming himself quickly. “We need to go somewhere else tonight. I’m sorry.”

 

Naruto took a moment to process it all. “You know what? Fuck that, Sasuke. We came out to see a band, and we’re gonna see a goddamn band. What’re they gonna do, start a bar fight?”

 

Sasuke gritted his teeth, seeming like he was trying not to lose his patience. “Naruto, you don’t understand-”

 

“No, you promised, remember?” Naruto was having none of it. “No more lying for my own good, no more thinking you know what’s best for me. We’re staying.”

 

Sasuke sighed, passing a hand up his forehead, his thumb resting heavily on his temple. “You’re determined, aren’t you?”

 

Naruto set his jaw stubbornly. “Yeah. I’m not afraid of those pricks and you shouldn’t be either.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes flicked to Naruto’s from under his brow, dark and dangerous. “I’m not afraid of them, Naruto.”

 

“Then let’s go.”

 

Sasuke stood still for a second on the pavement, mouth set in a hard line. Wordlessly, he passed Naruto, heading back into the bar. He picked up his drink and examined it, taking a sip once he was sure no one had tampered with it. “We stay in the bar until they’re finished, okay? Don’t draw attention to ourselves. But if they do see us, let me do the talking.”

 

They had a few more drinks, Naruto resisting the temptation to switch to whisky like his friend. He wanted to ask what the deal was with the band, but Sasuke was on edge enough as it was. As soon as one became available he pounced on a corner seat, his back to a wall and Naruto’s to the room. His face had shut down into his standard stoicism again, but he was watching the room like a hawk.

 

A tense half hour passed, with not much conversation between the two. Naruto didn’t blame Sasuke for that: he was obviously really stressed about these Sound Four guys. He took to people watching instead, slowly sipping his drink. Sasuke, on the other hand, sped through whiskies with seemingly no effect. Eventually, the music stopped.

 

A few minutes later, five sweaty musicians made their way from the band room to the bar. Naruto saw the bassist tie his hair up into a short, high ponytail, whilst ordering for them; he looked a lot darker without the stage lights.

 

“Don’t look over, Naruto,” Sasuke all but whispered. “We might get lucky here.”

 

Naruto turned round to concentrate on his beer, trying to monitor Sasuke’s face. His eyes twitched quickly from the bar to Naruto and back, a quick curse escaping his lips.

 

_Guess I’m gonna find out what sucks so much about these guys…_

“Sasuke, it _is_ you!” A rich, smooth voice called out over the bar’s clamour. “Jirōbō, you owe me a drink!”

 

Naruto turned to see the five of them crowding around their table, essentially blocking them in. To their far left was the one that had spoken, the guitarist, his light grey-blue hair covering one eye. Next to him was an identical man, but his demeanour was again different: he hung back slightly, watching. The bassist stood in the middle, followed by the girl and the mountain of a drummer nearest Naruto. His mind automatically forming exit strategies, Naruto tried to calm down. He didn’t want this ending in a fight.

 

“Hello Sakon,” Sasuke replied, his face inscrutable once more, his tone bored. “Ukon, Kidōmaru, Tayuya. And of course, Jirōbō. Fancy meeting you here.”

 

“Yeah, fancy that.” The bassist, Kidōmaru, laughed. It set Naruto’s teeth on edge. “You celebrating, hmm? Living up that victory of yours?”

 

“Ooh, whisky!” The flautist Tayuya sneered, her face screwed up. “Enjoying the nice fuckin’ drinks, huh? Only the finest top-shelf for you, right?”

 

Jirōbō sighed, his tone surprisingly soft compared to the others. “Language, Tayuya.”

 

“Bite me, fatass.”

 

“Are you done?” Sasuke asked, leaning back in his seat with one foot over his knee, looking for all the world like he was just relaxing. “I’m trying to enjoy my ‘nice fuckin’ drinks’ in peace.”

 

“You see, I wish we were.” Sakon continued, sitting on the edge of the table. “But you’ve made that rather difficult for us. We’re not very happy, Sasuke.”

 

“And what would be the source of your displeasure?” Sasuke interjected, raising an eyebrow. “Other than you having to drag your retarded brother around, I mean.”

 

Naruto jumped as the other brother, Ukon, snapped his head up, pushing past Sakon and slamming a hand on the table, getting right in Sasuke’s face. “Wanna say that again, cunt?”

 

Sasuke didn’t flinch, didn’t even acknowledge him. He looked past Naruto, towards the bar, subtly shaking his head. Glancing back, Naruto saw one of the barmen looking on, concerned, as some asshole snapped their fingers in front of his face to get another drink.

 

Sasuke just continued looking Sakon dead in the eye, slowly bringing the whisky to his lips. “Sorry, that wasn’t very correct of me. Not trying to disparage him, of course. Does he prefer ‘differently abled’?”

 

Sakon, however, just smiled. “No need to get upset, Ukon.” His eyes flickered to Naruto, who for once was taking Sasuke’s advice and not saying a word. “Who’s the twink, Sasuke? Picking up some fresh meat?”

 

“None of your business.”

 

“But he’s pretty, isn’t he?” Tayuya spat, anger emanating from her very core. “Far too pretty to meet with an unfortunate accident, hmm?”

 

Sasuke laughed coldly, a humourless smirk playing about his lips. “You wouldn’t get that far. Trust me.”

 

“Aww, looking out for your little whore?” Tayuya mocked, flipping one of her bangs out her face.

 

“I wouldn’t need to.” Sasuke’s eyes finally broke from Sakon’s to stare unwaveringly at Tayuya. “You wouldn’t lay a finger on Naruto unless he let you. But unlike you, he actually has some standards.”

 

The reaction was instant, Tayuya jumping on the provocation “Like you can talk, fuckstick-”

 

“Enough.” Sakon interrupted. He wasn’t especially loud but Tayuya instantly stopped, still glowering at Sasuke.

 

There was a brief silence, the tension thick and cloying, before Sakon burst out laughing. Ukon took his hand slowly off the table, dragging his nails along the wood, backing up once more.

 

“That’s priceless, Sasuke. Really.” Sakon smiled sardonically, flicking an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye. “Now we’ve got all that comedy gold out of the way, let’s get down to business: we currently find ourselves rather unemployed. If the talk of the town is true, you’re to blame Sasuke Uchiha.”

 

“He was posing a problem. I took care of it.”

 

“Oh, you took care of it!” Kidōmaru laughed, snapping his long, dextrous fingers. “You took care of it a little too well, we think. I mean, personally I was hoping for a severance package, maybe get my p45 in the mail…”

 

Sakon leaned in, smirking. “How about it, Sasuke? Can you write us a character reference? After all, we did help you… acclimatise to the role. Even provided some encouragement to sign up. And now baby’s all grown up!”

 

He reached in to pinch Sasuke’s cheek, but in the blink of an eye his hand was slapped away. “Let me make this clear,” Sasuke started slowly, his voice low and measured. “You fuck with me, my associates, my business again… I will not rest until you’ve experienced more pain than you have ever imagined in your life.”

 

Sasuke stood up, Sakon following suit, the two face to face as he continued. “This time there’s no running to Daddy for help. The rumours are true. He’s not coming back.”

 

“Kimimaro wouldn’t have liked that.” Sakon breathed, his tongue briefly flicking at his lips. “If he was still around, it would have been your head.”

 

“I don’t give a fuck about Kimimaro.” Sasuke spat, his dark eyes pure, unblinking ferocity. Kidōmaru had to put one arm in front of Ukon to stop him jumping at Sasuke again.

 

Tayuya gritted her teeth and actually snarled. “How dare you-”

 

“It’s no wonder you were all benched. You’re pathetic.” Sasuke continued, cutting her off with the sheer edge to his voice. “Get the fuck out of here before I do something we all regret.”

 

The moment seemed to drag into eternity, Sasuke staring down Sakon, the rest watching nervously. Eventually, Sakon took a step back. “Now, now, Sasuke. No need to throw your toys out the pram.” He looked down at Naruto, tensed and ready to leap up if Sasuke did indeed follow through on his threat. “Naruto, was it? Now that name seems _very_ familiar…”

 

Jirōbō, who had been mostly silent until this point, spoke up. “Ah, yes. Naruto. Your name and Sasuke’s have become rather… intertwined. See that you remedy that. We wouldn’t want you getting hurt, would we?”

 

“Yeah, people close to Sasuke have a tendency to kick the bucket.” Tayuya sneered, grinning maliciously. “Just ask his mentor. Or maybe Mummy and Daddy.”

 

Naruto was sure that would push Sasuke over the edge. But he remained there, still and silent, not saying anything. He reached down for his drink, finishing the dregs and placing it down neatly on a coaster, staring at the table.

 

Sasuke’s voice was barely above a whisper, calm and low. “You have ten seconds. Ten seconds, or I show you why I was his favourite. I don’t care about collateral. And what I did to Orochimaru will seem trivial in comparison.” He finally looked up. Naruto had only once seen his eyes look this sharp. “Five. Four…”

 

“Woah there, tiger.” Sakon grinned, but he looked worried. “We’re leaving. I don’t know about you, but I’m not about getting barred from another venue. Come on guys, let’s go.”

 

Slowly, the band filed out, Tayuya hesitating for a second. Sasuke turned his gaze on her, eyes piercing.

 

“Sakon made the right call,” Sasuke smiled, unblinking. “You would have begged me to kill you.”

 

Tayuya visibly flinched, shuddering as she turned to follow the others.

 

Naruto understood how she felt: moments prior, he had been ready to all but leap out of his seat to defend his friend. Now he was just… frozen. He could feel his mouth slightly agape, but didn’t seem to be able to close it. Sasuke was still standing there, face deceptively calm, but eyes able to cut glass. It was terrifying.

 

_This is him. This is the man that frightens criminals. The man that topples kingpins._

_The one that put me in hospital._

He didn’t want to, but all he could think of was the instant it had happened. He could see the moment vividly, sharp needles coursing up his right arm: Sasuke, hair matted and slick from the rain, arm striking Naruto’s own; the second between the crunch, the blood, and the pain; but most importantly, his eyes.

 

They looked exactly the same as he stared after the Sound Four. His face was neutral, a far cry from that night, when his anger bled through to the surface. But he couldn’t yet control his eyes.

 

_This is a different person. This can’t be my Sasuke._

But try to deny it all he wanted, the truth echoed throughout his mind. This was Sasuke. This was the person he’d become.

 

He slowly sat down, eyes flickering from the stone arch. He exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, Sasuke’s eyes were back to normal.

 

“I’m sorry about that, Naruto. That’s exactly what I was trying to avoid.” He frowned at his empty drink for a second before continuing. “Your name’s becoming all too familiar in their mouths. We need to be careful. You don’t want to become any more famous.”

 

Naruto wanted to say something, but couldn’t. He could feel his heart rate rising, his breathing shallow and rapid. All of a sudden the bar felt too loud, too crowded, too unsafe. He tried to take a drink, steady himself, but when he reached out with his right hand he couldn’t unclench his fist. It shook slightly, the pain reaching deep into his muscles as they cramped.

 

_Not now, not now!_

He quickly moved his arm under the table, trying to slow his breathing, hoping that Sasuke hadn’t seen. He looked on in concern, seeming like he was going to say something.

 

Suddenly Sasuke jumped out his seat, mouth set in grim determination. “Outside. Now.”

 

Naruto felt overwhelmed as he was dragged up and out of the bar. A few people gave him questioning looks, Sasuke grabbing his hand firmly and leading him out the door. There, he leaned Naruto against the wall, his deep voice slow and surprisingly soothing.

 

“Close your eyes.” He started softly, still holding his hand tight. “Yes, that’s good. Lean against the wall, concentrate on my voice. You’re okay. Breath. You’re gonna be just fine, okay?”

 

Naruto complied, swallowing hard and saying nothing. He leaned his head against the cool brick, the muted sounds of the city centre on a week night floating in the background. Only Sasuke’s voice mattered.

 

“Breath with me. In… and out. In… and out.” Sasuke took several slow, deep breaths, Naruto matching his pace.

 

He continued in this fashion for at least a minute until Naruto felt he was able to open his eyes again. Sasuke’s worried face was the first thing he saw, close but not invading his personal space. Slowly, he began to feel more like himself, the tension in his scar unknotting, his hand slowly uncurling.

 

“I’m sorry, I… what was that?” Naruto asked, disoriented. The hand spasms he’d dealt with before several times, but never the blind panic.

 

Sasuke frowned. “That’s never happened before?”

 

“No, I… I’ve never had that happen.”

 

“Naruto…” Sasuke started slowly, looking as confused as Naruto felt. “You just had a panic attack.”

 

Naruto, still breathing heavily, processed this for several seconds. A panic attack. He just had a panic attack. The confusion was soon replaced by shame. “God, that’s… that’s pathetic. I’m sorry, Sasuke.”

 

“What the fuck are you apologising for?” Sasuke demanded, his frown deepening.

 

“I knew the injury had fucked me up, but…” He took a deep breath, looking down. “Uh, Sasuke? Can I have my hand back?”

 

Sasuke’s head snapped downwards, to where his hand clasped Naruto’s. Quickly he let go as if shocked by electricity, his eyes avoiding Naruto’s. “Sorry. I forgot about that.”

 

_Is he blushing? Holy shit, he’s blushing._

Suddenly that was all Naruto could think about. He had to restrain himself not to burst out laughing: the red was so unfamiliar on Sasuke’s face.

 

_This is more emotion than he showed inside, threatening those assholes._

The thought cheered Naruto instantly, but he wasn’t sure why. “Thanks for the help, by the way. I don’t know how well I’d have done on my own.”

 

Sasuke hummed non-committedly, and was quiet for a while. “It’s not pathetic.” he said suddenly, with surprising intensity. The remnant of the blush still coloured his face slightly, and his expression seemed more soft than usual. “I work… worked with this guy. You could even call him a friend. He seemed to have his shit together, until suddenly he didn’t. The first time this happened to him, I had no idea what to do. I read up about it. It got easier the next time. And the time after that. He’s one of the strongest people I know. And if you call yourself pathetic, you call him pathetic too.”

 

“No, that’s not what I-”

 

“It doesn’t matter what you mean.” Sasuke cut him off, but not unkindly. “These things are sometimes unavoidable. But this one’s my fault.”

 

Naruto was unsure what to say to that. How had Sasuke known what had caused him to freak out?

 

“You wouldn’t have run into those dickheads if it wasn’t for me.” Sasuke continued. “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure they don’t bother you again. Trust me.”

 

Naruto paused, nodding silently after a second. He didn’t have the heart to tell Sasuke what had really caused him to panic. He rubbed his forearm, holding it tightly through his hoodie.

 

“Come on, let’s go back inside.” Naruto said, pushing off the wall.

 

Sasuke caught his shoulder. “Are you sure? We can call it a night if you want. Don’t have to go back.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll… I’ll be okay. We’re seeing a gig, aren’t we?”

 

“Don’t push yourself on my account Naruto. Seriously.” He let his hand fall, seeming unsure what to do with it. “It’s just a band.”

 

“I’m sure.” Naruto confirmed, tilting his chin up and setting his jaw. “I’m not letting… whatever this was ruin the night.”

 

“I think between us we’ve made a pretty good go of ruining it. If this doesn’t stop us, I don’t know what will.” Sasuke smiled slightly.

 

After Sasuke had got drinks – and insisted on paying for both, a double Bruichladdich, ice for Naruto – they sat back down at the surprisingly unoccupied table. The music had started again, but it was only the second support act. They had time, Sasuke said.

 

“So,” Sasuke started, pausing to take a long drink. “You said you didn’t want me to keep stuff anymore. Do… do you want to know more about those guys? The Sound Four?”

 

“Yeah,” Naruto answered immediately. He wanted to know everything he could, some things having been gleaned already. “Who are they? They worked for Orochimaru, right?”

 

 Sasuke nodded. “Unfortunately.”

 

“But Orochimaru’s gone. Right?”

 

“Yeah, but they weren’t just on a payroll: for whatever fucked up reason they were always loyal.” Sasuke’s eyes were far off. “I was coming home from a club, maybe half a year after I left. Out of nowhere, these five psychopaths beat the absolute shit out of me. I was drunk and… honestly, I didn’t want to fight back. Part of me hoped they’d kill me.”

 

Naruto didn’t know what to say. “Jesus, I… that’s heavy shit, Sasuke.”

 

He snorted, taking a drink and shaking his head. “If you think I’m fucked now, you should have seen me during those six months. Compared to that, I’m a model for good mental health. They tell me my new boss is waiting. And that with his help, I’d… I’d be unstoppable. I healed. I mulled it over. And I decided that I didn’t want to be powerless, to anyone.”

 

He continued, not waiting to hear Naruto’s reaction. “I accepted. I started training under… _him_... and soon, I was the favourite. After that, the Sound Four was just so much shit on my shoe.”

 

“And they’ve got beef with you cause you got rid of their boss?” Naruto asked hesitantly.

 

“More than that. I replaced them, made them obsolete. It’s an old grudge, just worse now.”

 

“Damn,” Naruto muttered. There really wasn’t much else he could say.

 

“Yeah. Damn” Sasuke agreed. “Don’t worry though, I meant what I said: I’ll deal with them.”

 

“What exactly do you mean, ‘deal with them’?” Naruto asked cautiously. He wanted to ask the same of Orochimaru, just so he knew. But Sasuke didn’t even want to say his name, let alone talk about him. He didn’t want a repeat of the cathedral.

 

“Check the news in the next few days,” Sasuke smirked, suddenly confident. “If I play my cards right, it’s two birds with one stone.”

 

_Cryptic as always. At least I’ll eventually get an answer to this one._

“So who was that Kimimaro guy?” Naruto asked, suddenly remembering the intense reaction his name got.

 

Sasuke seemed surprised. “Kimimaro? He held my position before I joined. He was in charge of those assholes for a while. Another one of the favourites.”

 

“What happened to him? They seemed really pissed off when you told them you, what was it?” Naruto grinned. “‘Didn’t give a fuck’ about him?”

 

Sasuke didn’t return the smile. “He died, Naruto. Bone cancer.”

 

The grin was quickly wiped from Naruto’s face. “Oh.”

 

“It’s no big loss: one less criminal to darken our doorsteps. But he was the reason I was even recruited in the first place.” Sasuke sounded bitter. “If Kimimaro hadn’t fallen ill, _he_ wouldn’t have needed a replacement. Someone young. Malleable. And if Itachi hadn’t told him about me…”

 

Naruto was silent once more, just letting him get it out: Sasuke clearly hadn’t had someone to vent to in a while.

 

_Fucking hell. Selling out your kid brother to that goddamn snake… just when you think Itachi can’t get any worse._

Sasuke appeared to have run out of steam, staring down into his drink. Naruto gave it a second or two before he piped up. “Do you wanna go catch the end of the second act? These guys sound pretty good. As long as, you know, they don’t also try to bar-fight you.”

 

Sasuke smiled a little, looking up. “I’d like that.” The fire in his eyes was extinguished once more.

 

But for how long?

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto stumbled out the bar onto the pavement, grinning ear to ear. Speaking of his ears, they were absolutely ringing: Sasuke wanted to get to the front to ‘properly enjoy it’ or something, and they were pretty drunk by the time the main act came on. They were a strange blend of punk and metal that somehow worked: Naruto had liked it so much he’d bought a CD from the merch table afterwards, chatting up a storm with the band.

 

After waiting a second for Sasuke, he poked his head back inside to see what was taking him. Holding one finger up at the impatient barman, Sasuke, the only person left in the bar, downed his final double of whisky.

 

“Last call was fifteen minutes ago Sasuke.” He growled, grudging taking the glass Sasuke offered him. “I wanna go home, you prick.”

 

“Sorry,” Sasuke grinned drunkenly, pointing a finger at him. “But you’re a good dude. Thanks, and… and stuff.” He popped a crinkled fiver in the empty glass, winking. “Buy yourself something- something nice.”

 

“Fuck off,” the barman sighed, smiling nonetheless. “And remind me not to book those Sound cunts again: one of those creepy twins tried to stage-dive and fucked up a mic stand and two cables. Didn’t even stay to the end.”

 

Naruto laughed as Sasuke wandered leisurely over to join him. “That one might be on us.”

 

He followed them over to the doors, getting out a big old-fashioned key. “Seriously though, even one fight inside and the owner’s gonna bar you. I mean it.”

 

Sasuke didn’t turn around, just put two fingers to his temple and away in a kind of informal salute as he joined Naruto in the street.

 

“Oh yeah, I meant to say earlier,” the barman said, holding the door open after them. “You guys are a cute couple.”

 

“Oh, we’re not a-” But Naruto was cut off as the door was slammed in their face. “…couple.”

 

Sasuke smirked for a couple of seconds, all one side of his mouth, before laughing when Naruto turned to face him. “Aww, we’re a cute couple Naruto!”

 

“Fuck off Sasuke.”

 

“Come Naruto, serenade me up the street!” Sasuke laughed, grabbing Naruto very suddenly by the hip and twirling him onto the quiet road. Naruto tried to be annoyed, but couldn’t help but laugh seeing Sasuke be this silly. They passed up through the tunnel where the two were reunited, having to quickly jump onto the pavement as a taxi swung round the corner.

 

“Indicate, asshole!” Naruto shouted after it, trying to regain his balance.

 

“I think he did indicate,” Sasuke frowning after the departing break lights for a second.

 

“I’m sorry, I was too busy being pirouetted up the goddamn road, you fucking weapon.”

 

Sasuke snorted as he pulled a cigarette out his shirt pocket, popping it in his mouth and going to light it. It was only after a second that both he and Naruto realised it was the wrong way round. They both just about collapsed with laughter, Naruto leaning against the tunnel wall while Sasuke squatted down, head in his hands, giggling. They’d gotten to the stage of drunk where everything was funny.

 

“Oh my God, dude,” Sasuke sighed, still squatting. “I’m fucking wrecked.” He was having a hard time not relapsing back into laughter as he tried to hold it straight in his mouth. Eventually he got it lit, inhaling deeply.

 

They were both silent for a while, Sasuke just enjoying his cigarette. Naruto slid down the wall to join him, watching the comings and goings of a drunken Tuesday night. The city was buzzing, as always, plenty happening even now.

 

Naruto thought back to the night they met once more, right at this spot. He still didn’t know why Sasuke was letting those guys lay into him. He didn’t know if he wanted to any more: Sasuke had clearly had some dark thoughts in his past.

 

_…honestly, I didn’t want to fight back. Part of me hoped they’d kill me._

 

It was more candid than Sasuke usually was. Was it the booze again? He’d been knocking them back pretty hard even at that point, and Sasuke was good at hiding how drunk he was.

 

He looked to his right to see Sasuke still smiling at nothing.

 

_Well, usually good at hiding how drunk he is._

Naruto reached his arm over Sasuke’s shoulders, pulling him close. It just felt… right. Sasuke leaned his head against it, eyes closed, occasionally taking a draw, but mostly enjoying the moment.

 

“You know…” Naruto started. “If you ever need to talk about any of this crazy shit, I’m here.”

 

“Yeah, I know. Same to you.” Sasuke mumbled. He brushed Naruto’s arm off gently and stood up again, stretching. “Right, I’d better head off. Gonna take me a while to get home.”

 

“A while?” Naruto asked, convincing his legs to push him up.

 

“Yeah, about an hour.” He replied casually, stomping the cigarette out.

 

“An hour?” Naruto snorted. “Fuck that noise, just stay at mine again.”

“It’s fine, honestly. It’s not too long.”

 

“Shut your fuck.” Naruto insisted, trying not to stagger. “We’ll be there in five minutes. Come on.”

 

Sasuke followed without complaint as Naruto turned to totter off. Within no time they arrived at Naruto’s flat once more, Naruto throwing the keys on the kitchen counter. “Make yourself at home. Oh! Don’t sit on the couch.”

 

“The couch?” Sasuke asked, navigating to the armchair.

 

“Yeah, it isn’t quite dry. It’s been a while, and it smells, and…” Naruto shrugged. “Probably gonna have to get rid of it.”

 

“Oh man,” Sasuke scratched his jaw. “Sorry about that.”

 

“Is fine, acci- accidents happen,” Naruto waved it off, stumbling slightly over the word as he fished around in his booze cupboard. “Besides, that one came with the flat: I get to choose my own sofa now.”

 

Sasuke awkwardly sniffed the couch, making a face. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucked.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Naruto grimaced, handing Sasuke a whisky. “Wee nightcap?”

 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Sasuke grinned. “I have sobered up an unacceptable amount on the walk over.”

 

“It was five minutes!” Naruto exclaimed, laughing. “And you’re still very much drunk.”

 

“Not drunk enough,” Sasuke chortled, taking a gulp. “Mmm, this is good.”

 

“Yeah, it’s-”

 

“No, no, don’t tell me.” Sasuke frowned, sipping it delicately, running it around his mouth. “Bourbon cask, definitely. Makes it sweeter. Mellow too. Notes of… vanilla, maybe honey? Is this Auchentoshan?”

 

“Holy shit dude,” Naruto laughed, jumping up to grab the bottle and check the tasting notes. “You fucking nailed it.”

 

“Not really, you had this the last time I was round,” he smirked, throwing his arm up in a toast.

 

Naruto shook his head as he tapped his glass against his friends. “Shikamaru’s into whisky too: his dad taught him all about it, takes him to distilleries and stuff. They both do all that tasting nonsense. He said next time they go they’ll take me along.” He paused for a second. “Is there a reason you didn’t want them here tonight?”

 

Sasuke sighed. “Look Naruto, you accepted me back with open arms. And I really appreciate that. But not everyone’s like you. The others, they… I don’t think they’d forgive me like you do. And they’d be right not to. I don’t deserve it, not after what happened.”

 

Naruto placed his glass on the table. “They miss you. You know that right?”

 

“Do they miss me or the idea of me?”

 

Naruto was stunned for a second. “That’s ridiculous, of course they miss you.”

 

“You don’t get it,” Sasuke knocked back another mouthful, frustrated. “I’m an asshole. I’m worse now than I was then. And… and I hurt you. And because you’re you, I’m forgiven. But imagine I’d hurt Sakura. How would you feel then?”

 

Naruto tried to imagine Sakura, her smooth skin marred by the same scar. He imagined her coping with the rehabilitation, the pain…

 

It must have showed on his face. “Yeah,” Sasuke said coolly, not looking at Naruto. “That’s what I thought.”

 

It was silent for a second before Naruto spoke. “I don’t think you’re an asshole.”

 

Sasuke chuckled slightly. “Thanks, Naruto. But I’ve made my peace with it.”

 

“An asshole wouldn’t have calmed me down when… when I had a panic attack.”

 

“It isn’t difficult when you know how,” Sasuke scoffed. “Step one, remove all stimulus. Step two, control breathing. Done.”

 

“An asshole wouldn’t have looked up how to do it in the first place.” Naruto insisted.

 

“Well fuck, it’s a Christmas miracle! Guess I’m Jesus reincarnated after all.”

 

They both laughed, Naruto picking up his whisky again and taking a healthy sip. “That’s what I thought. Come on, we should probably get some sleep.”

 

“Sure,” Sasuke sighed, getting up from the armchair and finishing his own drink. “Although I’m not looking forward to sleeping on that couch.”

 

“Don’t be a twat Sasuke,” Naruto groaned, rolling his eyes again. “We can share my bed again. I don’t mind, honestly.”

 

Sasuke made some ineffectual grumbling as he followed Naruto through to the bedroom. “Do you have any spare pyjamas?”

 

Naruto threw him a pair as hard as he could, grinning. Sasuke, of course, caught them fine, despite how drunk he was. Naruto was going to suggest leaving the room while he changed, but Sasuke didn’t wait for that: he started unbuttoning his shirt, peeling it off and throwing it over the back of a chair.

 

Sasuke looked back over his shoulder as he unbuttoned his jeans. “Sorry, this doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable, does it?”

 

After pausing for a second to consider whether it did, Naruto decided it was fine. “Nah, you’re good. I had to undress you when you passed out that first time, remember?”

 

“True,” Sasuke repied, throwing his trousers over the same chair. He definitely seemed thinner than the last time Naruto had seen him in his underwear. The graze on his side appeared to have mostly healed too, but he still had a lot of bruises. As always, the tattoo stood out on his pale skin, but even more so now he was so ashen.

 

“Hey Sasuke, I meant to ask: what’s with the tattoo?”

 

“Oh, yeah. It’s more Shinto,” Sasuke said, struggling into his pyjama bottoms. “It’s called ‘The Cursed Seal of Heaven.’ Basically means to achieve my… goals, I guess, I’ll sacrifice anything.”

 

“Your goals?” Naruto asked hopefully.

 

“I don’t kiss and tell,” Sasuke winked as he turned around, still shirtless. “Do you mind? I don’t usually wear a shirt.”

 

“Go nuts.”

 

Sasuke collapsed onto the bed, grinning like an idiot as he buried his face in the pillow. “This is a comfy fucking bed.” He sighed, his voice muffled by the fabric.

 

By the time Naruto turned out the light and changed into his own PJs, Sasuke was quietly snoring into the pillow. Naruto chuckled as he tucked the covers over his friend, and whispered, “Good night, idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I got this chapter finished super quick! (For me, that is :P). I found it really fun writing the Sound Four, and the "fun drunk" version of Sasuke is always good too.
> 
> Regarding Naruto having a panic attack: I was riffing a little after the Sound Four left, just writing what I thought Naruto would be feeling, and the idea for him having a panic attack came out of nowhere. I really liked it, cause Naruto doesn't seem the sort to have that kind of thing. But that's the whole point - these things can affect anyone.
> 
> PSA: If you ever see someone having a panic attack, the first thing to do is remain calm. Secondly, like Sasuke did, remove all stimulus you can: if you can get them sat down, or lying down somewhere quiet, do it. Turn off music, videos, etc. Then try to get them to follow your breathing, nice and slow. It might take a second or two for them to listen to you, and they may have trouble communicating. Try not to get frustrated, cause it isn't their fault. And lastly, the most important: everyone is different. Some people find touch overwhelming during an attack, some just want a cuddle. It can vary from person to person, so if you know someone who suffers from frequent attacks, please ask them what they prefer. Thanks!
> 
> And as per usual, please please please write reviews, comments, notes for me - I love interacting with you guys, and I want my writing to get better :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after their big night together, can Naruto convince Sasuke to stick around? And what new surprises does Sasuke have up his sleeve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, slight warning here - TINY amount of hetro erotica in here. I know this isn't what you came for, and might seem slightly out of place, but it seemed important I throw you guys a bone here. I mean, 11 chapters and no real erotica? What kinda Yaoi is this?

The low, piercing buzz drilled its way into Naruto’s brain, slowly getting louder and louder. At first there was only darkness and a throbbing pain. The world gradually became more clear, senses returning as his brain tried to figure out which way was up: the dryness in his throat, tongue glued to the roof of his mouth; the pain centring at a fine dot in the middle of his forehead, throbbing in time with his pulse; a warmth under his right leg, about the only comforting thing he felt; that droning buzz, filling his ears, making his head ache further.

 

Naruto took a deep breath and screwed his face up, moaning the one word he felt capable of articulating.

 

“Fuuuuuuck.”

 

He opened his eyes blearily, early-morning light filtering through the half-open curtains. He groggily retrieved his phone from under his pillow, automatically pawing at the screen to dismiss the alarm. He tried this several more times before realising his phone was off. Confused, he looked around the room.

 

For a second he’d forgotten he wasn’t alone, and was somewhat startled to hear soft breathing to his right; slowly, the events of last night caught up with him. Naruto grinned, having thoroughly enjoyed himself despite the rocky start. Sasuke, lying next to him, was completely out of it. On his side, facing away from Naruto, his back rose and fell in deep, relaxed breaths. Naruto, in contrast, was sprawled out, right leg over Sasuke’s knees.

 

He jolted as he suddenly became acutely aware of this fact, the warmth of Sasuke’s clothed leg touching his bare one. Trying to remove his leg as surreptitiously as possible to find the source of the noise, now getting painfully loud, he leaned up on one elbow and surveyed the room, one eye half-closed. The disturbance wasn’t readily apparent on his cluttered bedside table, or the desk. It took him several moments to realise what it was: Sasuke’s phone.

 

Naruto rolled out of bed and yelped as he stumbled, his legs giving out from under him as he slammed into the wardrobe beside his bed. He groaned again, shakily making his way upright before tottering around the bed. Reaching the desk at the other end of the room, Naruto pulled Sasuke’s trousers off the tatty office chair and tried to find the pockets in his semi-conscious state. He succeeded rather quickly, but chose the wrong side: the phone slipped out of the opposite pocket, falling straight on his toe.

 

Supressing a curse, Naruto knelt down to silence it, flipping up the old-fashioned model’s lid. Some mashing of buttons later and it finally stopped, Naruto flopping forward and letting his throbbing head hit the floor in relief. It didn’t last long: with the absence of noise, he felt a high-pitched ringing in his ears, damage done from the night before.

 

_If I keep going to these I’m gonna end up deaf._

Sitting up quickly after a couple of seconds in case he passed out on the floor, Naruto looked up at his friend on the bed. The perpetual half-frown he always seemed to wear had faded completely, his face calm. Naruto smiled broadly: it made him so glad to see Sasuke look at peace. He glanced down at the phone on the floor, tempted for a second to let Sasuke sleep. He might even say he didn’t hear the alarm at all.

 

But he couldn’t: it would be a betrayal of Sasuke’s trust, no matter how good Naruto’s intentions were. “Hey dude,” he started quietly, squatting down unsteadily and shaking Sasuke’s bare shoulder slightly. “Your alarm’s going off.”

 

Sasuke frowned and stirred slightly, his lips parting in a sigh, but he didn’t wake. His dark hair spread about the pillow, one hand up by his cheek, it was the most restful Naruto had seen his friend in a while. He shook more vigorously, still feeling bad for interrupting the precious few hours of sleep he’d got.

 

“Come on dude, time to get up. Sasuke…”

 

Without warning Sasuke jumped as thought electrocuted, pushing himself up onto one elbow. Naruto, already balanced precariously, fell backwards with a yell, knocking the chair over and cracking the back of his head on the lip of the desk. Sasuke, gasping for breath, looked around wildly like he’d forgotten where he was. In short order he pulled himself together, his face shutting down once more.

 

He looked down at Naruto on the floor, rubbing his head, and appeared concerned. “You okay?” His voice was raspy and dry, his throat in a similar condition to Naruto’s.

 

Naruto winced, checking his fingers for blood; his scalp was tender, but there didn’t seem to be any lasting damage. “Yeah, I think so. Probably got a little stupider. If I didn’t have a headache before…” He trailed off weakly, holding up the flip phone. “Your alarm went off.”

 

Sasuke grunted, fully sitting up. The covers slid off him and bunched up around his waist as he ran a thin hand over his face. “I’ve gotta go.”

 

He tried pushing himself off the bed, but his legs gave way as Naruto’s had earlier. Sasuke, however, wasn’t lucky enough to have a wardrobe at his side of the room. He shot past Naruto, crashing to the floor, head disappearing as he narrowly missed the edge of the desk. He ended up underneath it, sprawled out on his back. All Naruto could see were legs jutting out from under his desk, a silence falling over the room. He thought Sasuke had hurt himself, maybe even knocked himself unconscious, but needn’t have worried: he heard a deep sigh, followed by Sasuke’s left leg rising into the air, his toes en pointe like a ballet dancer’s.

 

“Bravo,” Naruto laughed, applauding with his best posh accent. “Such grace, ten out of ten!”

 

“It’s dusty as fuck under here,” came the muffled reply. But as Sasuke sat up, brushing dust out his hair he was chuckling slightly under his breath. The two of them sat there on the floor for a while until the laughter died down.

 

Naruto passed the phone over to Sasuke, noticing the time. “Half seven? Christ dude, no wonder you’re always tired.”

 

Sasuke hummed in agreement, taking the phone. For a moment he just played with it, pressing it against his raised knee and sliding his dextrous fingers down it until he reached the base. Then he’d flip the phone over in one agile motion and start again. His eyes far away, he repeated this uninterrupted for maybe half a minute before Naruto decided to say something.

 

“You don’t have to go, you know.”

 

Sasuke said nothing, staring straight ahead, his eyes unfocused, still playing with the phone.

 

Naruto, not to be deterred, continued. “I mean, when’s the last time you got some actual sleep? You can’t function like this man, you’re gonna burn yourself out.” He sighed, resting his tender head against the desk. “You’re allowed to have a sick day. They can cope without you for a bit.”

 

Sasuke’s phone completed a few more revolutions before he stopped abruptly, chewing the inside of his cheek. Naruto struggled to hold his tongue: Sasuke was thinking.

 

Eventually he flipped the phone open, dialling a single digit before holding it up to his ear. “Jūgo? Yeah, I’m not gonna be in today. No, I’m fine... I’m fine, okay? I’m just taking a sick day. Catch up on my sleep, like you told me to. Uh huh.”

 

Naruto couldn’t hear the voice on the other end, but he was listening intently: it sounded like this guy, Jūgo, had similar concerns to Naruto.

 

“Just run business as usual today. One thing though.” Sasuke continued, his eyes seeming to focus. “You still have the contingency packets I gave you? Good. We need one. Sound Four. The instructions are all inside the file. Take Karin.” He paused, tilting his head slightly as he listened. “No, just Karin. You know this isn’t his strong suit.”

 

Naruto scratched his jaw and tried to commit those names to memory: he wanted as much information as possible.

 

“I’m fine, honestly: we had a run in with them last night. A friend and I.” Sasuke sighed, his voice frustrated. “Yes, Jūgo, _a_ _friend_. Focus. I think they’re gonna make a move. They have to go”

 

_‘Have to go?’ What the hell does that mean?_

 

Naruto was worried again. What was a contingency packet? What did Sasuke plan on doing with it?

 

“I don’t like it either Jūgo, but it’s not up for debate. Take care of it.” Without waiting for a response he hung up, dropping the phone.

 

Naruto fidgeted awkwardly for a second, rubbing the back of his head absent-mindedly. “…are you okay?”

 

Sasuke’s head drooped slightly, his eyes fluttering before snapping back open. They seemed dull once more. “I’m okay. Just…”

 

“Tired?” Naruto completed, jumping up, only staggering slightly. “Me too. Come on, let’s sleep this off. You want a drink?”

 

Sasuke nodded silently, letting Naruto pull him up. Yawning, Naruto padded through to the kitchen and filled up two pint glasses with water. By the time he got back, Sasuke was already asleep, breathing deeply once more. Naruto smiled, resting the glass gently within arm’s reach and carefully got into bed again. Within seconds he, too, was comfortably snoring.

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto smiled as he stretched, slowly coming back to consciousness. It was much nicer than last time, no piercing alarm but the gentle sounds of the city through the window. Opening his eyes, it took a second for the world to come into focus; once it had, he found himself feeling much better. The headache was still there, a dull throb, but he didn’t feel as ill. The water must have done its job.

 

Retrieving his phone from under his pillow once again, he checked the time: one in the afternoon. They’d been under for quite a while. Sasuke was still completely out of it, on his side once more. This time he was facing towards Naruto, his pale face seeming peaceful once more. Despite the black eye and cuts, he looked slightly better.

 

_Maybe that’s just wishful thinking._

Deciding not to wake him, Naruto sat up and planted his feet on the ground. He raised himself slowly off the bed, but needn’t have bothered: he’d sobered up and found his sea legs. Rubbing the back of his head, Naruto grabbed a towel and a change of clothes, heading to the bathroom. He always liked a good, long shower after a hard night’s drinking.

 

The hot water felt amazing on his skin, the steam swirling around him. As he shampooed his hair, he thought about how well-rested he was. It wasn’t just sleeping in after a long night: he hadn’t felt this refreshed since he had shared a bed with Hinata.

 

When Hinata started staying the night, Naruto realised how much he enjoyed sleeping next to someone. He found it difficult to sleep alone after that; if Hinata wasn’t at his, he was over at hers. They’d spent many late nights watching movies and playing video games – Hinata being just as competitive as him after a few drinks – and lazy mornings doing nothing much in particular. First it made Naruto wistful, feeling lonely despite all the people around him.

 

But soon Naruto’s mind turned to his and Hinata’s… activities. She’d started off so shy, but once they got comfortable with each other she was insatiable. After a while, the image of her and sex were intertwined: her supple skin, smooth and yielding to the touch; her lips, always warm and inviting; that hourglass figure, trim waist and full, round hips, rival to none; and her large, plump breasts that had always driven Naruto absolutely crazy…

 

Naruto felt himself stir, and before he knew it he was rock hard. He couldn’t get the thought of her out of his head, the things they’d explored, perusing desires that many people wouldn’t even speak aloud. It was like he’d said to Kiba: it was the quiet ones you had to watch out for.

 

_Why don’t you just take care of it yourself? Sasuke’s sleeping, and it won’t take long…_

 

Naruto bit his lip, the throbbing emanating from his very core. He wanted release, and he wanted it now. He leaned one arm against the shower wall, squeezing his eyes shut as he made the decision: no. Even though the door was locked, even though there was no way he would be walked in on, it would still feel wrong. He pushed off from the shower wall and ran his hands through his hair, water droplets spraying the wall.

 

_I can’t believe I was about to jerk off with Sasuke in the next room… what the fuck is wrong with me?_

He sighed, grabbing his shower gel and trying to focus on washing himself. But the thoughts of Hinata wouldn’t leave his mind, every position he’d had her in rushing through his brain, the face she made when she came, everything…

 

“’Naruto Uzumaki and the Case of the Persistent Boner…’” Naruto muttered as he scrubbed his chest and stomach.

 

He was still quite sore from Jiraiya’s intense training, but he could see it paying off: he was thinner in the waist, but building up his upper body and arms. Going over his stomach again he could definitely feel his abdominals under the surface, not quite showing. Jiraiya said the only way he’d shed the last thin layer of fat was if he also started dieting, a suggestion Naruto was very quick to dismiss. The difference was really noticeable in his legs, however, his thighs and calves bulking up in size quite quickly: he would have to get new jeans if this continued.

 

By the time he’d rinsed all the soap off his body, he’d become distracted enough that he’d softened slightly. Taking a deep breath, Naruto quickly turned the shower to cold, stifling a scream as the freezing water blasted him at high pressure. He stood under it for a second or two before he couldn’t take it any more, slamming the heat on again. Sure enough, that above all else had worked: he wouldn’t be walking back through with a very suspicious bulge.

 

Drying himself off, he walked through the living room in just a pair of trousers, vigorously drying his hair. He figured he shouldn’t let Sasuke sleep too long, or else he wouldn’t be able to sleep again that night.

 

_That’s if he sleeps at all tonight._

He was worried the lack of rest was getting to Sasuke, and it made him wonder if his friend was taking care of himself. Was he eating properly? His diet seemed to be mainly liquid these days, as far as Naruto had seen. And he was thin as a rake too, not that it was unusual for him.

 

That decided it: Sasuke was getting a proper cooked breakfast, the works. Grinning, Naruto pulled some pans out of the cupboard and got to work.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto edged through the door, two fully laden plates on his right arm, trying carefully not to drop anything. Jiraiya’s training had paid off: the contents of the crockery had refrained from spilling to the floor.

 

“Breakfast time!” He yelled cheerfully, a wide smile plastered across his face.

 

Sasuke heard him this time, groaning and stretching like a cat. Cracking an eye open, he yawned and sat up. “Breakfast…?” Seeing the plate, almost overflowing with bacon, eggs, sausage, toast and, of course, black pudding, he raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been busy.”

 

Naruto carefully handed him the meal and sat down on his side of the bed, picking up his knife and fork. “Without beans, too: I remember your preferences. ‘Not real tomatoes’ my ass.”

 

Sasuke gave a small smile and nodded, eyes fixed to the plate. “Thank you, Naruto.”

 

They ate in near silence, Naruto digging in with reckless abandon, Sasuke very carefully incising all his food like a surgeon. Eventually, Naruto leaned backwards and patted his stomach, half a sausage and some black pudding still left on the plate. “That’s it, I’m defeated. Needed that though.”

 

Sasuke nodded and hummed in agreement, still halfway through his. “This is the good shit.”

 

Though it took him longer, Sasuke finished every last bite of his meal. He pointed a knife at Naruto’s plate. “You gonna…?”

 

Naruto looked up from his phone and chuckled, passing the plate across. “Go ahead dude.”

 

Sasuke nodded and polished that off too. He sighed, closing his eyes and smiling as he had the last bite of black pudding. “Chouji was definitely right: the last bite is sacred.”

 

“Oh God, don’t get me started,” Naruto laughed. “Remember when he used to fight everyone for the last piece of meat at the steakhouse?”

 

“Most people let it go. If I remember correctly, the only person that didn’t was…”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Naruto grinned as Sasuke looked pointedly over at him. “It pissed me off is all. I wanted that meat.”

 

His friend just rolled his eyes as he got out of bed, grabbing the plates. He, too, seemed steadier on his feet as he took them into the kitchen. When he didn’t come back after a minute, Naruto set his phone down and followed him through: he was at the sink, dutifully washing the dishes Naruto had used, scrubbing the grease off a particularly large frying pan.

 

“Aw dude, there’s no need for that,” Naruto started after a second of being unsure what to say. “I’ll get them later, yeah?”

 

“You were kind enough to make me breakfast, so I’m doing the washing up.” He glanced over his shoulder at Naruto, flashing him a small smile. “Seems fair to me, no?”

 

“I guess, yeah,” Naruto smiled, taken aback by Sasuke’s gratitude. “Thanks man. Here, I’ll dry.”

 

Grabbing a tea towel, Naruto went over to help his friend. Together they were finished in no time, a feat which Naruto would have procrastinated over for days: he never liked washing the oily pans, always insisting they needed to soak for a few days.

 

“That takes care of that,” Sasuke said, rinsing out the sink. “What do you wanna do now?”

 

Naruto thought for a second, drawing a blank. “I dunno really, I haven’t anything planned except my training at eight. We could just chill out, watch something?”

 

Sasuke looked over at the TV for a second, nodding. “Here, I have a better idea. Would you mind if I showered first?”

 

Intrigued, Naruto nodded and went to find a spare towel: luckily everything was still relatively clean from the laundry load he’d done. “Do I get to find out what we’re doing?”

 

“All in good time, Naruto.” Sasuke winked as he strolled to the bathroom, towel over his shoulder.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“So,” Naruto started as they turned another corner, in a part of the city he wasn’t too familiar with. “When am I finding out where the magical mystery tour ends up?”

 

“We’re almost there,” Sasuke said, half turning so Naruto could see his face. He had led the way for almost ten minutes, on top of a further twenty minutes on a bus taken from Naruto’s flat. The only thing he knew was that there was a big retail park nearby, and from the looks of it they were heading there.

 

Sure enough, Sasuke’s slow pace led down the stairs from the street and into the mammoth car park. Naruto grumbled a bit, but knew he wouldn’t get an answer until Sasuke deemed fit to reveal it.

 

“Okay,” Sasuke smiled, swivelling on his heel and stopping abruptly. “Here we are.”

 

Naruto looked up in confusion at the giant letters on top of the store. “DFS? Why did we trek all the way to a sofa shop?”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, seeming impatient. “Because your sofa’s all manky, remember? I thought we could pick out a new one.”

 

“A new one?” Naruto asked, hurriedly following Sasuke as he strolled in, hands in his pockets. “I was just gonna look around the charity shops, I can’t afford a new couch.”

 

“Well yeah, but you can look at all the types here, figure out exactly what you want. Don’t want to settle on just anything for your first proper couch, do you?”

 

He supposed that made sense. As they walked through the automatic doors, Naruto noticed a strange bulge in Sasuke’s back pocket, a rectangle straining awkwardly at the tight jeans. He’d seen him put his wallet in his hip pocket and his phone in the opposite one, and couldn’t quite work out what was in it.

 

He blushed and looked away quickly as he realised he was staring at Sasuke’s ass.

 

“So, what do you reckon?” Sasuke stopped, staring over the rows and displays. “What kind of thing are you after?”

 

“Well…” Naruto started, getting into the idea now that he was here. “It can’t be any bigger than a three-seater, I don’t have the room for that. Right now it’s just a two, but if I could get a bigger one for a good price it wouldn’t hurt.”

 

“Two- or three-seater, got it.” Sasuke nodded. “What else? Material, colour?”

 

“Black would be good: it goes with anything. And I’d probably take it with me if I move flat, so it would make sense to get something that’s gonna fit in. It can be made of whatever the fuck it likes, as long as it’s comfy.”

 

“Yeah, only thing is you have to watch out for leather on bare skin: very uncomfortable.” Sasuke paused, like he was thinking, then added. “Shall we take a gander?”

 

They began strolling along the aisles, Naruto keeping an eye out for anything he liked the look of. “Good to know, the perils of leather. Take it that’s an experience of yours, nudity and leather?”

 

Sasuke smiled slyly, looking around. “I never said nudity… although, honestly, you’re right.”

 

Naruto laughed, trying to keep quiet and failing. “I was trying to wind you up, but…”

 

“But,” Sasuke picked up, a wicked grin on his face, “You should know by now that shit doesn’t faze me.”

 

“Do I wanna know?”

 

“I’m not sure, do you?” Sasuke chuckled, continuing anyway, his voice low. “Would you want to know that it was a quick shag on a sofa? That it worse for him, being the bottom?”

 

“Christ Sasuke, too much information!” Naruto almost yelled, but the effect was lost in his laughter: he pleased to find himself no longer uncomfortable with that kind of humour.

 

“I had to peel him off the couch afterwards.” Sasuke continued, raising his eyebrows. “He wasn’t stuck or anything, I’m just that good.”

 

Naruto was giggling so hard he was almost doubled over. “I can’t breathe,” he wheezed, collapsing into a nearby couch. Sasuke sat beside him, a satisfied smile on his face.

 

“Okay, okay, I’m good,” Naruto sat up, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye and looking around. “What the fuck are we sitting on?”

 

“Emm…” Sasuke looked down a second, his face deadpan. “Leather.”

 

Naruto was gone once more.

 

After eventually calming down, they got up and tried to find the section Naruto wanted. A staff member smiled at them as they passed, arranging cushions on a sofa. “Hey guys, need a hand with anything today?” She asked chirpily, a genuine smile on her round face.

 

“We’re just browsing today, thanks,” Naruto said, not wanting to waste the girl’s time.

 

“Actually,” Sasuke started, surprising his friend. “We’re looking for the three-seater sofas. We’re thinking black, preferably not” – he gave a sideways glance to Naruto – “leather.”

 

“Ah yes, that’s a classic look,” the blonde grinned, bouncing slightly as she straightened up from the couch and pointed. “There should be some over at that end of the store. We’ve got some good deals on right now, would you like me to come give you a hand?”

 

“No thanks,” Sasuke replied, his charming, smooth smile coming into play. “We probably won’t buy anything today, but thank you very much.”

 

“Yeah, thank you,” Naruto beamed too, the girl’s energy infectious. “Don’t work too hard.”

 

“I doubt it,” she scoffed light-heartedly, getting back to her cushions. “Happy travels guys!”

 

Naruto still found a smile on his face as they headed to the aforementioned section. “Wasn’t she nice?”

 

Sasuke hummed quietly. “Yes, she was. Bubbly, and not pushing the sales. Hard to do when you earn a commission.”

 

“Maybe she was just hoping for a ride on the Sasuke Stick?” Naruto joked crudely, faux-winking at his friend.

 

“She would be sorely disappointed.”

 

“I bet.” Naruto laughed. “Leave some for the ones that actually swing that way, huh?”

 

They reached the area they wanted, getting on with the business of testing couches. While examining one (not soft enough, according to Naruto) they noticed the big ‘sale’ sign hanging from the roof.

 

“Is there ever not a sale here?” Naruto asked as he pointed at the sign, gently swinging as some unseen breeze pushed it. “The only adverts they ever had were ‘The DFS sale is now on!’ and they ran year round. Seriously, a summer one, a winter one, they probably had spring and autumn covered too.”

 

“Yeah, I remember.” Sasuke nodded sagely as they inspected another. “When we eventually nuke each other to fuck, the only thing that’ll survive are cockroaches and the DFS sale. ‘DFS Nuclear Winter Sale, now on!’”

 

Naruto snorted as he sank into the deep material of the next couch. “Ooh, I like this one. Check it, it even has those recliner things!” He reached down and pulled out the handle, his feet swinging up and almost clipping Sasuke’s shins.

 

He hopped neatly aside, raising his eyebrows. “These assassination attempts are getting quite creative, Naruto. Maybe you’ll succeed one of these days.”

 

Naruto blushed, but tried to play along. “Darn it, and I was so close!” He chuckled awkwardly, scratching his cheek. “Sorry.”

 

“S’all good,” Sasuke grunted as he, too sat down and propped up his legs. “This is pretty nice. You like the leg-rests?”

 

“Yeah man, but look at the price.” He gestured to a small table next to them, set up to look like it was in someone’s living room. It was a convincing effect, save for the big ‘£400!’ sign on it. “I’m spending like a hundred, max.”

 

Sasuke frowned. “You’re gonna get a plank of wood and two fucking cinder blocks for that price.”

 

“You’d be surprised what you can pick up in a charity shop, dude.” Naruto replied, reluctantly getting up.

 

Sasuke followed, looking back at the sofa as they wandered on. “Isn’t it a bit weird, having something that someone else has used?”

 

“I never thought so,” Naruto replied as he looked through the cheaper models. He pinched the collar of his light army jacket, perfect for this time of year. “I got this from a shop that does vintage and ex-military stuff, Ino showed me it. But in this case, I don’t really have a choice.”

 

They were silent for a minute or two, Naruto checking the averages on the lower end of the price spectrum, before Sasuke piped up again. “Let’s go look at the expensive ones.”

 

“You know I can’t afford it, Sasuke,” Naruto sighed, frustrated that he didn’t seem to understand the concept of being poor.

 

Sasuke was slightly affronted. “I know, I know: just for fun though. Come on, it’ll be a laugh.”

 

Naruto grudgingly followed as his friend continued. “I did this the last time I needed to do up my flat: you wouldn’t believe how stupid some of the fancy ones look.”

 

And it was true: the higher the price, rising significantly into the thousands, the more bizarre shapes they saw. “How can that even be comfy?” Naruto asked, nodding to one that seemed to be made up of several ovals.

 

“It’s not supposed to be,” Sasuke whispered, before chuckling slightly. “It’s avant-garde. Pretentiousness for the sake of pretentiousness.”

 

“Do people really buy into that?” Naruto asked incredulously.

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Some of them. The ones that want to appear smarter than they are.”

 

“It’s fucking weird.”

 

The next ten minutes they spent sinking into large, comfy chairs and elegant sofas. Naruto started giving reviews in an overly posh voice, especially for the stranger designs. Sasuke joined in after a while, and soon the two of them were trading jabs and jokes.

 

They’d just settled into an especially good one, black with white trim along the edges. The fabric was very soft, the seats just the right level of firm. As Naruto lay back into the cushy fabric, he threw his arm over the side and felt a small set of switches. Curious, he pressed one to find himself smoothly sliding backwards accompanied by a mechanical buzzing. In a second he was comfortably reclined, legs in the air, head lying back.

 

Sasuke soon joined him, his smirking face coming into view. “Didn’t I tell you this would be fun?”

 

“Okay, okay, you were right.” Naruto grinned, throwing his hands behind his head. “This is the life, huh? I think this one’s my favourite.”

 

“Holy shit,” Sasuke exclaimed softly, head whipping up suddenly.

 

Naruto’s stomach felt like it had dropped out of him, his heart pounding. What had happened this time?

 

_Who are we gonna see that royally screws our day over? Are we gonna have a confrontation in the middle of fucking DFS?!_

Naruto craned his neck, moving to lean one elbow up on the backrest and almost slipping. Frantically he scanned the room, trying to see if anything was amiss. But everything seemed normal, just regular people sampling sofas.

 

“Someone’s actually looking at that fucking sofa! The oval one. Look, look,” Sasuke breathed, trying not to be too obvious that he was gossiping. “I can’t believe it!”

 

Naruto sighed, breathing deeply. Sure enough, a man with a tiny ponytail and oversized scarf was holding his chin and nodding as the sales rep talked him through the features. Slowly Naruto saw the funny side, closing his eyes and shaking his head, a grudging smile growing.

 

_This boy is gonna give me a goddamn heart attack._

 

“Hey, is something wrong?” Sasuke asked, the smile sliding from his face.

 

Naruto was about to reply when they were interrupted by a short cough. He twisted his neck round to see a thin, middle-aged staff member standing over them, a strained smile on his face.

 

“Hello boys, are you interested in this model?” He asked, his voice saccharine-sweet; it was obvious he thought they were just playing about. Naruto was just about to mutter an apology and leave, but Sasuke spoke before he could.

 

“Yes, actually,” He replied confidently, putting the recliner back in the normal position and standing up. “Let’s hear some of the features.”

 

Naruto scrambled off his seat as fast as the electronic motors could get him back upright. He had no idea what Sasuke was trying to do, but he figured he’d best play along.

 

“This is currently valued at one and a half thousand pounds.” The sales rep replied snootily, pushing a pair of glasses up his nose in the most obnoxious manner possible. “I highly doubt the two of you will be purchasing it.”

 

Naruto was stunned by the man’s rudeness, but could see why: between him in a scruffy army jacket and Sasuke wearing a shirt so deeply unbuttoned his nipples were at risk of falling out, they didn’t exactly seem like high rollers.

 

“Well I happen to have made myself a good deal of money moving large quantities of heroin around the city.” Sasuke said quite calmly, much to the shock of the man. “Come on” – Sasuke paused as he checked the man’s name badge – “Steve. Sell me this couch. That is your job, hmm?”

 

“Oh. Right, yeah.” The thin man paused for a second, looking around nervously. He seemed to decide it was a joke, but obediently checked the information on the sign. “So this is the… Sanzio, the three-seater model. It has electric reclining features, and faux-leather piping.” He pointed at the white edging along the armrest, slowly gaining assurance.

 

“I could read all that off the information sheet the same as you did.” Sasuke coolly stated, looking impatiently from under his brow. “What are the dimensions? We have limited space to work with.”

 

Naruto was amazed: in seconds Sasuke’s manner had completely changed from friendly and relaxed to cold-blooded, with a razor-sharp edge.

 

The man ran a skeletal hand along the card, muttering to himself, before reading it out. “Eighty inches wide, by forty-”

 

“-In centimetres, we’re not savages.”

 

“Uh…” Steve looked up, counting something on his fingers before Sasuke sighed and cut him off again.

 

“About two hundred by one hundred, right? Come on Steve, that’s a simple conversion.” Sasuke managed to sound both bored and intimidating as he looked at his watch for a second. “That’d just about work for us. Be a bit of a squeeze though. Does it have a warranty?”

 

Steve was starting to look nervous, Sasuke really hammering him hard. “I-it comes with three years standard, six if you pay extra.”

 

“Finally, something I didn’t know.” Sasuke sighed, putting his thumbs through his belt loops. “Tell me more. C’mon.”

 

He was scanning the information frantically, trying to find something he hadn’t already said. “Well… It’s comprised of tiana fabric and comes in a variety of colours. We have red, grey, blue and-”

 

 “What’s tiana fabric, Steve?”

 

“It’s, uhh…” Steve paused, checking the sheet once more but coming up empty. “I’m, ehh… I’m not sure.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue harshly. “It’s Italian, you idiot. You’ve done a piss-poor job on this one, Steve.” He noticed something else on the man’s badge, brow furrowing in a frown. “Wait, you’re assistant manager? How the fuck did that happen? You may as well turn your title over to your colleague over there and put us all out of our misery: she’d do a better job than you with only her goddamn cushions instead of the sheet you’re hiding behind.”

 

Sasuke took a step forward until they were eye-to-eye, voice brutally cutting. “Even if I wanted this couch, I’d import it from a fucking Taiwanese sweatshop before I wasted the commission on you. Come on Naruto, let’s go.”

 

Sasuke began his slow amble out of the store, leaving Steve with an expression similar to that of a landed fish. Naruto awkwardly turned to follow him, slightly embarrassed but extremely vindicated in the way Sasuke had completely deflated the man.

 

“Dude,” Naruto started, laughing as he fell into step with Sasuke. “I think I just witnessed a murder. You destroyed him!”

 

“He was a bellend,” Sasuke grunted, fishing about in the tight pockets. “I need a goddamn smoke after that.”

 

As they passed near the exit, they heard shouting from behind them: Steve was shouting at the girl who’d greeted them earlier, grabbing a cushion from her display and throwing it across the showroom. Naruto turned to confront him, blood boiling, but Sasuke grabbed his arm.

 

“Don’t, Naruto. That’s not our fight.” Sasuke said quietly, but he seemed sad.

 

He looked over to see the girl tearing up, just standing there and taking the abuse. “It’s not right though! We pissed him off this much, we should help her.”

 

Sasuke wheeled Naruto round, locking eyes with him. “And what do you suggest? We yell at him some more? And what happens when we leave? She gets it worse the next day. And the day after. You’re not always gonna be there to protect people, Naruto. Sometimes they need to fight for themselves.”

 

Naruto knew he was right, but it angered him to no end. He looked round once more, the whole shop looking on as the girl walked dejectedly to the cash register, Steve redoing the whole display. Reluctantly, he turned and walked away.

 

Outside, Sasuke brought a cigarette to his lips, about to light it before he stopped abruptly and patted his pockets. “Fuck,” he cursed around the cigarette. “I’ve lost my wallet. Must’ve been in there. Wait out here, I’ll be two seconds.”

 

Naruto was going to protest, but the cigarette and lighter were thrust into his hands as Sasuke stalked back into the shop at high speed. He made straight for the register, speaking to the recently scolded girl. Sasuke’s back was to him, so Naruto struggled to see what was going on, but her face lit up and she started chatting animatedly.

 

_He’s all suave and charm I’m sure. Why can’t I be like that with women?_

But he knew that it was more that he hadn’t found anyone he connected with enough. In fact, recently, the person he seemed most in tune with was Sasuke.

 

He seemed to be in there for a while considering he was just retrieving a wallet, turning back at one point to give Naruto the thumbs up. Then he seemed to be signing something; finally, he held up his wallet and pulled out a few notes, giving them to the cashier. She teared up again, leaning over the counter to hug Sasuke. He grudgingly returned it with a pat on the shoulder, and turned to leave.

 

“What was that all about?” Naruto asked as Sasuke took his cigarette back and lit up.

 

“Someone handed in my wallet,” Sasuke replied, tilting his chin up and blowing smoke above his head. “I got chatting to her after that. Cheered her up.”

 

Naruto thought that explained most of it. “What was with the money?”

 

“I gave her a small tip, just something for making us smile.”

 

“Aww,” Naruto smiled, touched by his friend’s generosity. “That was good of you.”

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Not really: I’ve got plenty to spare.”

 

“Speaking of which…” Naruto started, trailing off awkwardly. “That thing with the heroin: was that true or were you just trying to fuck with him?”

 

Sasuke looked off into the distance for a second, taking another draw. He seemed to decide something. “A little bit of both.” He chuckled slightly. “It’s amazing how many people just ignore a confession like that, isn’t it? I wasn’t really involved in most of the drugs, wasn’t my thing. I was mostly protection work, some B and E, occasionally intimidation or muscle. But every so often I moved high-priority packages, stuff that needed to get somewhere without interference. But by my reckoning I’m just as responsible as the guys that sell it: it’s how we made money, at the end of the day.”

 

Naruto tried taking that in, needing a few seconds to wrap his head around it. Intimidation and hired muscle? After the display in the shop, it didn’t surprise him. “B and E?” He asked eventually, not familiar with the term.

 

“Sorry, breaking and entering.” Sasuke clarified. “I’d steal shit most of the time, plant stuff on occasion. It was fun.”

 

“I’m sure it was,” Naruto muttered. This was the most about his old job that Sasuke had said at once. He’d eked some of it out, assumed the rest, but hearing it in all so candidly was somehow more disturbing.

 

Sasuke was still avoiding his eye. “Does that freak you out?”

 

Naruto tried to be honest. “A little. I know it already, really, but hearing the specifics… it’s weird.”

 

“Remind me not to tell you stories.” Sasuke’s face had reverted to stoicism again, shutting down. “There’s a reason I drink too much.”

 

There was an awkward silence, Sasuke just inhaling deeply from his cigarette. He eventually sighed, grinding it out on a nearby bin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Naruto replied quickly, feeling like it was his fault: he shouldn’t be discouraging Sasuke. “It’s a bit frightening, but… that’s all behind you now. I wanna hear it. And I think speaking about it helps.”

 

Sasuke still wouldn’t meet his eye. “Thanks.”

 

There was a further silence, punctuated only by the cars rolling slowly past. “So now what?” Naruto asked.

 

Sasuke finally looked at him, a bit of gleam back in his eyes. “Now I’m gonna make you dinner. Let’s hit the shops.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“You really don’t have to do this you know.” Naruto said for the thousandth time, standing around awkwardly as Sasuke arranged the food and pans on his counter.

 

“I know I don’t have to,” Sasuke replied patiently, as he had an equal number of times. “I want to.”

 

Since Naruto had kickboxing later on, Sasuke had insisted on something light: they’d left the shop with fresh salmon, a variety of cheeses, and a mishmash of small ingredients. Naruto had assured him he had enough pasta – he stockpiled it in 3kg bags just in case – so here Sasuke was, boiling the water and throwing in measured handfuls of penne. He threw some butter in a pot, letting it melt as he carefully cut the salmon fillet in half.

 

Naruto almost had a heart-attack as he casually twirled the blade between his fingers several times when he was done, ending up with the blade pointed down. “This isn’t actually a half bad knife.”

 

“Yeah…” Naruto started, flinching. “But can you not… you know?”

 

“Oh, right,” Sasuke looked up, grinning, putting the knife down. “Force of habit.”

 

“Force of- you’re a fucking lunatic, Sasuke!”

 

Sasuke shrugged as he delicately poured flour into the pot straight from the bag, measuring by eye.

 

“So what am I getting then?” Naruto asked, impatient to find out: Sasuke still hadn’t told him, despite having all the ingredients.

 

“We are having…” Sasuke paused as he stirred together the flour and butter. “Pan-fried salmon with pasta in a béchamel sauce.”

 

“The fuck’s a béchamel?”

 

Even with his back facing him, Naruto could tell Sasuke had rolled his eyes. “White sauce you plebe.”

 

“Ohh yeah, I’ve had that before.” Naruto nodded.

 

“Not like this you haven’t.”

 

“You realise you’re being such a stereotype right now?” Naruto teased, leaning against the counter. “You’re gay, a snappy dresser, sassy and proud as fuck, and now you can cook? I’m just a feminine disposition away from Gay Bingo.”

 

Sasuke laughed, deep and full, using his wooden spoon to gesture in the air. “Hey man, if you’re a stereotype you gotta own it. Here, be a good little sous chef and grate some of that cheese, will you?”

 

“Yes Head Chef,” Naruto grinned, picking up the packets and cheese grater. “This is fancy fucking cheese: what the hell is pecorino?”

 

“It’ll change your life.” Sasuke stirred some milk into the pot and left it for a second, grabbing a small knife and cutting the packet open. He cut the tip off the sharp-smelling triangle, spearing it on the end of the knife and offering it to Naruto. He smiled, biting it off carefully. It was as it smelled, sharp and salty, but very full. He closed his eyes for a second, savouring the taste.

 

“That’s some nice fucking cheese dude.”

 

Sasuke smirked, cutting off a bit for himself and gesturing at Naruto with the knife. “You have a lot to learn it seems.”

 

It took a further ten minutes for Sasuke to fry the salmon and complete the sauce, multitasking well on the crowded hob. All he asked Naruto to do was drain the pasta and set up the dining table. He shooed Naruto to his seat as he plated up, arranging the salmon fillet over the pasta, drizzling the thin sauce over it and sprinkling the different cheeses on top.

 

“Bon appetite, motherfucker.” Sasuke grinned as he put Naruto’s plate in front of him. It smelled amazing, and when he took a big mouthful it tasted just as good.

 

“Good?” Sasuke asked smugly, knowing the answer from Naruto’s face.

 

“Shut your whore mouth and let me eat.”

 

Sasuke laughed and dug in himself, eating as he had in the morning, slow and neatly; Naruto couldn’t get it in his mouth fast enough.

 

“So I take it you didn’t enjoy that?” Sasuke dryly responded to Naruto’s finished plate.

 

“I’m not worthy,” Naruto groaned, bowing. “Teach me, master.”

 

“I’ll consider it,” Sasuke said haughtily, nibbling exaggeratedly on a piece of pasta. He kept it up for only a second or two before he couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks man, it means a lot. You just have to look online. Lots of good videos. Kinda had to cook for myself, you know?”

 

“So did I, but it was mostly instant ramen.”

 

Sasuke finished his food, Naruto this time dumping it all in the sink. “Has to soak.” He said, deadpan.

 

“But you could-”

 

“Has. To. Soak.” Naruto interrupted, deadpan, looking at Sasuke pointedly.

 

Sasuke waved him off, but smiled. Naruto looked at his phone, checking the time: he needed to get ready for training. He suddenly had an idea.

 

“Hey Sasuke, how about you come to kickboxing with me?” Naruto asked, trying to gauge his friend’s reaction.

 

It wasn’t very encouraging. “I… probably shouldn’t.”

 

“Come on, I know you still enjoy training.”

 

“I do,” Sasuke sighed, scratching his jaw. “But… it’s like with our friends, Naruto. I’m not sure Kakashi would want me back.”

 

Naruto took a second to realise what was wrong with that sentence. “Wait, what? You trained with Kakashi? When?”

 

“A bit before I left.” Sasuke said casually, like he’d forgotten to mention it. “You were getting a lot stronger, progressing faster than me. I wanted to see what the deal was, so I hired him for private lessons. He… wasn’t what I expected. But he gave me some good advice. About martial arts and… other stuff.”

 

Naruto frowned, but didn’t want to push: it seemed a sensitive subject. Still he was surprised: Sasuke had always trashed kickboxing as lacking discipline. But he went to Kakashi because of Naruto’s growth as a fighter.

 

_He went to Kakashi because of me. He considered me strong. He respected me._

A rush of pride went through Naruto, and he wished he could go back and tell his younger self, the one that struggled so much to earn Sasuke’s approval. Hell, he still felt like he needed to. He understood why Sasuke hadn’t told him at the time: it would be like admitting defeat, that he would have to publicly recognise Naruto’s strength.

 

There was very little conversation after that, Naruto getting his stuff together, Sasuke milling about. As he got his bag zipped up, having changed, he turned to his friend. “This was really good Sasuke. You’re welcome over any time. You know that, right?”

 

Sasuke nodded. “Thank you: that was the first good night’s sleep I’ve had in a while, and it was in no small part down to you. I feel… safe here, I guess.”

 

Naruto was floored by that statement for a second. “Oh, wow. T-thanks Sasuke.” He decided to broach something he’d been sitting on for the day, feeling shy and vulnerable. “Hey, if you like… you can stay here every so often. We can share a bed, if it helps you sleep. I kinda like it too.”

 

Sasuke looked conflicted. “I… I’ll think about it. Enjoy your training, Naruto.”

 

Naruto was a bit disappointed, but understood: it was a very strange proposal. He immediately felt embarrassed as they left the flat. “Eh, yeah, yeah. Don’t work too hard.”

 

Sasuke seemed to find that funny. “I’ll give it a try, but I think it’ll be the death of me one of these days.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto was woken by his doorbell going off, accompanied by someone loudly rapping their knuckles off it. He rolled out of bed, absentmindedly thinking that the postie wasn’t usually this aggressive.

 

He winced as he walked across the living room, his right hamstring twinging slightly. He thought he’d pulled it at Kakashi’s session, but insisted on going to Jiraiya’s too. It had probably done more harm than good, but Naruto had been proud of himself.

 

He opened the door, eyes bleary, expecting to collect a parcel and go back to sleep. Instead he was confronted with a large bald man, his beer gut hanging above an overtight belt.

 

“Got a couch to deliver, one to remove, for a Naruto Uza… Uzeemaki? Am I saying that right?”

 

“Close enough,” Naruto yawned, then the actual words hit him. “Wait, a couch?”

 

“Yeah, a couch. A sofa.” The man had a gruff sort of voice, thick with the local accent. “You ordered one, right?”

 

“Not that I can remember,” Naruto frowned, scratching his head. “But that’s me. The name, I mean.”

 

“Look, you wanna see the paperwork?” He asked impatiently, holding up a clipboard. “I’m three deliveries behind, and they gave me the thickest bastard to train up. He’s waiting in the van, and I’m just waiting for the daft motherfucker to try eat the fucking gearshift.”

 

Naruto squinted at the papers: it was his name and address alright. But the billing information was different, one A. Materasu. No address, paid with cash… it felt suspicious as hell.

 

But slowly his sleep-deprived brain kicked into gear, and a likely culprit came to mind.

 

Naruto sighed. “Yeah, I’ll take it. Sorry man, I got a bit mixed up.”

 

The man said nothing, but radioed his partner to come up. First they levered the old sofa out the door and down the stairs, no mean feat. Naruto offered to help, but the first man waved it off. Secondly, the new couch was brought up. Naruto’s jaw dropped as it was deposited in his lounge: it was the one Sasuke had argued with the salesman over, the Sanzio. It was beautiful standing there in his flat. But as the shock wore off he was more angry than anything: that was a big decision taken without his knowledge.

 

“Okay,” the first man said, handing over the clipboard. “Paperwork time. Sign here, here, and here. Date there. Perfect. Keep this. I don’t know what the fuck you did to your old sofa, but this one’s got a six year warranty. Enjoy.”

 

Naruto was still disoriented as he saw them out, grabbing his phone and sitting on his new sofa. It felt amazing. It just made him angrier. He selected a number from his phone book and tapped dial.

 

They picked up very quickly, Naruto hearing some rustling on the other end, followed by a muffled ‘I have to take this.’ Soon he heard them properly. “Hey Naruto.”

 

“Sasuke.” Naruto spat through clenched teeth. “Would you happen to know anything about the new sofa I’m currently sat on?”

 

“You’re out shopping early. Must be really keen”

 

“I’m in my flat you spanner. And don’t try play dumb, Mr A. Materasu.” Naruto sighed. “Sasuke, why the fuck did you buy me a sofa?”

 

“Uh-oh,” he replied sarcastically. “Busted.”

 

“This isn’t funny, dude!” Naruto yelled, finally losing his cool. “Why drop one and a half grand on this thing for me? How long were you planning on doing this?”

 

“Well I owed you a couch, since I fucked up your last one.” Sasuke said as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world. “You said you liked that one.”

 

“How long?” Naruto almost growled.

 

“Pretty much as soon as you told me it was knackered.” He said nonchalantly. “The words you’re looking for are ‘thank’ and ‘you’.”

 

“Sasuke, why don’t you get this?” Naruto groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You can’t just spend this much on me.”

 

“Why not?” He sounded sincere. “You’ve no idea how much money I’ve made in the last few years, do you?”

 

“That doesn’t matter!” Naruto was finding fewer and fewer solid reasons why, but wasn’t happy with Sasuke’s decision. “It’s the principal of the thing. I don’t take handouts. And imagine how much good that money could have done for a charity.”

 

He sounded offended. “I donate money to charity thank you very much. And you’re missing the point: it’s my money, I spend it how I like. It’s a gift.”

 

“Do you think you can just buy me shit and it’ll make up for everything you did?” As soon as it was out of his mouth, Naruto regretted it.

 

Sasuke was silent for the longest time, but when he spoke again he didn’t sound angry. “Do I feel guilty? Fuck yeah. But I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness, Naruto. I know what I did to you, taking off, hurting you… that’s not something I can buy forgiveness for. Now quit being a cunt and take the goddamn present.”

 

He hung up, leaving Naruto speechless at the other end. He threw his phone down on the sofa and rested his head back. On the comfy, comfy sofa. He realised, too, that the nice girl that had served Sasuke would get commission from such a massive sale. No wonder she’d looked so happy. Naruto sighed, picking up the phone again and sending a quick text.

 

‘I’m sorry. Thank you.’

 

 ‘You’re welcome, you knob. See you soon’ Came the reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as per usual guys! I'm getting a bit better with the pacing, but I have had some comments saying they almost gave up on the story: I worked it out, and since starting I've averaged about 6k words per month. Now considering I have a lot on in my life, I feel that's not too bad. I am hoping to post once a month at the least, but I take quite a while to get a chapter through - slow writer problems :P
> 
> Please comment with criticism, thoughts, points about my writing, etc - I want to get better at writing through this, so I would love feedback from you magnificent people :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto feels like he needs to let off a bit of steam: fortunately, Kiba and Shino have assembled the gang for some stress relief.

“Holy shit.” Breathed Kiba, dumbstruck.

 

“Holy shit,” Shikamaru agreed, nodding in appreciation.

 

There was a short, almost reverent silence, and for a second you could hear a pin drop.

 

“For God’s sake guys,” Shino sighed, rubbing his temple. “It’s just a fucking couch.”

 

“Hey,” Kiba, sitting on Naruto’s new couch, scrambled up from the seat and turned round to face the rest of them. “This is not just a couch. This is pure comfort.”

 

Shino and Hinata stood just in front of the door, exasperated, as Kiba had barrelled into the flat and jumped straight on the sofa. Shikamaru wasn’t too far behind him, albeit at a slower pace.

 

“Okay, Naruto, serious question.” Shikamaru asked, also leaning over the back of the couch. “Who’d you blow to get this thing?”

 

The rest of them laughed, Naruto slightly taken aback. As soon as he’d got off the phone with Sasuke a week ago, he’d been thinking of how to explain the new addition to his living room. Eventually he’d come up with something that seemed plausible.

 

“Hah hah,” Naruto replied dryly, his face deadpan. “It’s a cheap knock-off. From Taiwan, I think.”

 

Kiba seemed incredulous. “Seriously?”

 

“That’s what the guy in the charity shop said,” Naruto shrugged, trying to sell it as he wandered over to the armchair. “Apparently the electronics will be fried in a month or two. And there’s a big risk of the trusses breaking too, so no jumping on it. Especially Chouji. Speaking of which, where is he?”

 

“He had to work,” Shino said quietly as he squeezed himself between the two men on the sofa. He was about to continue, but Shikamaru activated the recliner on the right and Shino was caught with one leg up and one leg down.

 

Kiba, Shikamaru and Naruto laughed uproariously, Shino trying to remain dignified as he was knocked sideways, sighing. Hinata giggled and grabbed a chair from the dining table, bringing it between the sofa and armchair.

 

“Chouji will be here in an hour or so, he said to start without him.” Shikamaru finished, still smirking slightly. “Although by the time Ino gets here we’ll probably only be half an hour or so into it.”

 

Hinata reached out and stroked the soft material of the sofa with a gentle forefinger. “It really is a good fake.”

 

“Well it’s a good thing your dad doesn’t ask you to buy the Hyūga furniture, isn’t it? You’d just be wasting his money.” Naruto replied more gruffly than he’d intended, sounding harsh and chastising. In truth, Hinata’s scrutiny had made him nervous: like Sasuke, she was very observant.

 

Hinata knit her brow, mouth opening slightly, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. It immediately made Naruto’s stomach plummet, an intense shame washing over him.

 

_What the fuck was that, Naruto?_

“Sorry, that came out… wrong.”

 

Hinata nodded silently, seemingly trying to keep her emotions in check. When she finally settled, she looked more concerned than angry. “Okay,” she almost whispered.

 

Thankfully, Kiba broke the silence that followed. “Wanna get these in the fridge, Naruto?” He asked, holding up a carrier bag.

 

“Sure.” He jumped at the chance to escape the awkwardness.

 

Shikamaru tactfully started the conversation again as they got up, asking Hinata about her Uni work. Kiba picked up another carrier he’d left by the door, as well as a bulky rucksack.

 

“Jesus, how much booze did you bring?” Naruto asked as the fully-laden bags were dropped onto the counter with a clunk.

 

“Enough,” Kiba replied, smiling slightly. “Better to have too much than not enough.”

 

Naruto grunted in agreement as he pulled beer bottles out of the carriers. Instead of a crate or four-packs, they had elected to try a few different varieties: as evidenced by Kiba’s non-stop posting on Facebook the last week, he had recently discovered the big fuss behind craft beer. Now Naruto had to try and stack these loose, obscure bottles next to the massive crate he’d bought himself; he, too, had decided that more was preferable to less.

 

They stocked the fridge in silence for a second or two before Kiba spoke. “You know I’m not good at the touchy feely stuff, but… I dunno man, that didn’t sound like you. Back there. Are you okay?” He glanced over at Naruto, uncharacteristically worried.

 

Naruto sighed, looking away and trying to concentrate on the task at hand. “You spoke to Shikamaru, didn’t you? Look, I know you aren’t homophobic, it’s just the whole ‘faggot’ thing weirded me out for a second, and-”

 

“Woah-woah-woah,” Kiba interrupted with a hand, frowning. “I didn’t talk to Shikamaru about anything like that. What’s this about me being homophobic? If it’s about me using that word, I can stop if you like.”

 

_He didn’t speak to Shikamaru._

_Oh._

_Oh shit._

Naruto could feel himself blushing hard, the heat rising in his cheeks. He’d really put his foot in it now. “Oh,” he said, for lack of anything better. “There’s been a… mix-up.”

 

In hushed tones, he described what had happened the last time they were together. “I thought about it some more and, well… I think Shikamaru’s right.”

 

“Yeah, the way I see it is that you guys know I’m joking: I know it’s not the most PC thing ever, but I don’t just go around calling people faggots willy-nilly.” Kiba paused, scratching his nose. “I really don’t mind if it bothers you, you just have to say.”

 

“No, it’s okay. Honestly. I think my new friend sees it the same way.”

 

“Good,” Kiba grinned sharply. “Then stop being a faggot and help me chill these drinks. I’m playing Fridge Tetris over here all by my lonesome.”

 

Naruto snorted and began sorting the fridge again. But Kiba wasn’t done. “So what’s bugging you today then?”

 

_Almost got away with that._

“Come on,” Kiba continued, thankfully quietly. “You never speak to any of us like that. Especially Hinata.”

 

“I’m fine.” Naruto knew it didn’t sound convincing.

 

“I’m worried, okay? It isn’t like you to be this… high-strung. And if I’ve noticed you bet your ass Shikamaru and Hinata have too.”

 

Kiba was right: the stress of bottling up his worries about Sasuke was getting to him, he could feel it. In the week since he’d received his new couch he’d barely heard a word from him, only that he was ‘busy.’ He didn’t like lying to his friends either, but the thought of them finding out about Sasuke seemed worse. As much as he hated it, Sasuke had a point: he doubted any of his friends would welcome him back with open arms.

 

_Does that make me an idiot for trusting him again?_

It was something Naruto had thought about a lot the past month or so. He was happy to have Sasuke back in his life, the man that had turned his back on everything. Someone that hurt him so much, both physically and emotionally.

 

_I don’t care about what he’s done. Is that stupid?_

“Look Kiba, it’s...” Naruto trailed off, trying to find the words. “It involves other people. And I don’t wanna betray their trust.”

 

“I understand Naruto, I really do, but you can’t keep it bottled up.” He was being unusually serious as he leant over, stashing a bottle of Jägermeister in the freezer. “Not if you’re gonna take it out on other people.”

 

Naruto, albeit grudging, knew he was right. “When did you get so into talking shit out?” He grumbled.

 

“You’d be surprised how much Shikamaru rubs off on you in a year.” His voice changed back to the impish tone Naruto was so used to. “Besides, I met this really cute girl at college and she convinced me to go to one of these ‘conflict resolution’ lectures. It turned out to be pretty handy.”

 

Naruto grinned and shook his head. “Of course it was a girl.”

 

“What can I say? I’m both lovable and predictable. Now let’s get this party started!”

 

“This isn’t even a party Kiba,” Naruto laughed as he followed Kiba back through to their friends.

 

“You’re right,” Kiba agreed, pirouetting and putting one foot on the coffee table in a heroic pose. “This isn’t just a party: this is ‘Bad Movie Night.’”

 

Shino gave a sarcastic cheer as Naruto start telling him to get his foot off the table, but was interrupted by his phone. “Oh, it’s Ino. I’ll put her on speaker.”

 

A chorus of ‘hello’s greeted her as Naruto answered the phone and put it down on the table, shooing Kiba and his foot away.

 

“Hey guys! Am I on speaker?” Ino’s voice rang from the other end of the line, chirpy as usual.

 

“Cutting out the middle man,” Naruto grinned. “What’s your ETA? We have shitty movies to watch.”

 

“I should only be another fifteen minutes.” She hesitated for a second. “Sai’s just text me and he’s got nothing to do for the rest of the night: do you mind if he joins us?”

 

Naruto groaned internally, pinching the bridge of his nose: after the first meeting, any further interactions with Ino’s boyfriend had been just as aggravating. Kiba was vehemently shaking his head, drawing a finger across his throat. Although less dramatic, no one seemed particularly keen on the idea.

 

“Well, em…” Naruto started, running his hands through his hair. “What does everyone else think?”

 

There was a pause, no one wanting to weigh in. Shikamaru eventually sighed. “It’s up to you Naruto, you’re the host.”

 

“Look, I know he’s a bit odd sometimes, but I’d really like to make him feel included.” Ino pleaded. “Naruto, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Naruto was a bit apprehensive, but grabbed the phone and went through to his room. Taking it off speaker, he brought it back to his ear. “What’s up?”

 

Ino sounded tired. “I’m not an idiot, Naruto: I know you guys don’t like Sai.”

 

“Well, I mean…” Naruto tried to be diplomatic, but realised there was no way he could spin this. “Yeah, we aren’t his biggest fans.”

 

“I know he can be really rude, but he’s a good guy, honestly.” Ino hesitated slightly. “I don’t wanna air Sai’s dirty laundry, but there’s a reason he’s like this. And I think you might understand it more than most of the guys.”

 

Naruto felt his stomach drop: this couldn’t be good.

 

Ino continued after a pause. “I don’t know all the details, but he’s… he’s like you. He’s an orphan. He got adopted, but… they were awful to him.”

 

Naruto sighed, the pieces falling into place. “That would fuck anyone up.”

 

Ino, although she didn’t know it, was much closer to the truth than she thought; he’d only ever told Sasuke about that one foster family. But it had only temporary for him. He couldn’t imagine having to deal with that his whole childhood.

 

“Yeah. Honestly, at first he was just a good lay. I know, I’m shallow as fuck.” Although she was self-deprecating, it was in good humour. “But I got to know him, and… there’s something more under there. I’m determined to find it.”

 

 “This all makes a lot more sense now.” Naruto sighed again, scratching the back of head. “Listen, thanks for telling me, I’ll… I’ll try make the effort, okay? And I’ll convince the rest of the guys as well.”

 

“Thank you so much Naruto,” Ino gushed, her relief palpable. “I really appreciate this.”

 

“I’d be a bit of an asshole if I refused, wouldn’t I?”

 

“Well…”

 

Naruto laughed, glad to have a better understanding of the situation. “Okay, I’ll see you and the boyfriend soon, alright?”

 

Naruto stepped back through to the living room, throwing his phone on the kitchen counter. “Okay guys, Ino and Sai will be here in about fifteen minutes.”

 

The reaction was instantaneous: Kiba was the loudest, but there were several other mutters and groans. “Aww c’mon Naruto, I wanted to enjoy myself tonight.”

 

“I’ll be honest, I’m not particularly thrilled about this myself.” Hinata piped up, looking awkward.

 

Naruto could understand where they were coming from, but it was still frustrating. “Look guys, it’s not a massive deal: do this for Ino, okay? Sai’s not too bad, and if he makes her happy we should support it.”

 

“But consider this,” Kiba replied, leaning over the couch again. “No.”

 

Shikamaru leant over Shino and slapped Kiba gently on the back of the head. “Stop being a knob-head Kiba.”

 

“What? I’m just saying-”

 

“Well don’t.” Hinata interrupted, louder than anyone was expecting. “She doesn’t need you protecting her or anything stupid like that.”

 

That stunned Kiba even more than the slap. Everyone was speechless for a second, until Shino spoke up. “So you have no strong feelings on the subject, Hinata?”

 

Hinata smiled gently, closing her eyes for a second. “Sorry, I got a bit… carried away. She knows how you feel, Kiba. But it isn’t our decision.”

 

“She’s right, Kiba,” Naruto said softly. “The least we can do is tolerate him.”

 

Shikamaru just looked at Kiba in a way that said ‘you know they’re right.’ Kiba eventually sighed, raising his hands in defeat. “I guess I’m being outvoted. Pasty McFuckface is joining us.”

 

“Fantastic,” Shikamaru said dryly. “Now that we’re sorted, I’m going for a fag.”

 

It didn’t take long for Ino to arrive, Sai in tow. After initial greetings were out of the way, Sai awkwardly offered Naruto a bottle of vodka. “Ino said I should…”

 

“Thanks man!” Naruto tried to be warm, smiling and clapping him on the shoulder as he took it, trying to ignore the strange look on Sai’s face as he put it in the fridge. “Would you two like anything to drink?”

 

Ino held up her own bottle of red wine. “I’m sorted, just need a glass. Sai?”

 

“I’m okay, thank you.” He declined politely enough, but Naruto still had the feeling he wasn’t being genuine.

 

“Is everyone sitting comfortably?” Kiba asked, standing next to the TV when more seats had been pulled up, everyone supplied with drinks. “Welcome to the first official ‘Bad Movie Night!’ I thought we could watch two today, a classic and a more recent one.” He held up two boxes. “Up first we have ‘Snowpiercer’ – a serious movie that ended up really stupid, and then the classic ‘Megashark Vs Giant Octopus.’”

 

As Kiba put the first DVD in the Xbox, Sai leaned forward in his chair. “Why are we watching objectively bad movies? What’s the point?”

 

Kiba, obviously trying to be patient, explained. “Me and Shino have been doing this for a while now: you take a bad movie, get a bit drunk, and you take the piss.” He looked back, smiling. “It’s fun, trust me.”

 

Sai looked less than convinced, but sat back without complaint. With everything set up Ino, sitting on the right of the sofa with Sai, leaned back and flicked the lights off.

 

“So the thing with this movie,” Kiba started as the intro credits rolled. “Is that actually had some good ideas. Just done very badly.”

 

“And they also have the balls to make you sit through intro credits.” Shino grunted, sipping his beer.

 

“That too.”

 

The movie eventually started, explaining that humanity had frozen the world while trying to fix global warming. The only ones that survived were on a world-spanning train that was moving fast enough to still generate warmth.

 

“Oh shit, Chris Evans is in this?” Ino said in shock as he appeared on the screen, standing defiantly in front of several soldiers. “How can he be in a bad movie?”

 

“That’s the thing,” Shino chipped in. “It’s got a good cast. This was after Captain America too.”

 

After a few minutes, more plot had been set up. “It doesn’t seem too bad,” Naruto said, not seeing the problem.

 

“Trust me, it gets worse,” Kiba replied, knowingly.

 

“I dunno, setup is pretty solid.” Shikamaru chipped in. “A bit heavy-handed with the classism parallels though.”

 

“A whole lot worse.” Kiba laughed, taking a sip.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

About forty minutes later, and everyone was in agreement.

 

“This is so dumb,” Naruto snorted, giggling hard. “Why are the guys with hatchets slicing up a fish to intimidate them?”

 

“It’s, like, symbolism man,” Shikamaru replied in a fake California surfer accent as the evil soldiers, all dressed up in what looked like fisherman’s smocks, passed the fish around and soaked their hands in the blood. “The fish is, like, the good guys.”

 

Everyone burst out laughing as Chris Evan’s character, in all seriousness, came out with ‘Be careful.’

 

“Yeah, cause I’m not gonna be careful when there’s a bunch of assholes with hatchets ahead of us.” Kiba laughed. “See what I mean?”

 

The doorbell rung as the men on screen began to fight, Naruto pulling his chair back to get it. It was Chouji, looking particularly disgruntled and tired. “Sorry I’m late guys, some fucknuggets wouldn’t finish their meal quickly. Stayed in half an hour after we closed.” He looked quizzically over Naruto’s shoulder at the movie, still playing. “Why is Captain America fighting a bunch of fisherman?”

 

“I know, right?” Ino asked, giggling. She’d had quite a bit of wine already, and was slightly tipsy. Naruto wasn’t too far behind her: he thought he should probably slow down, but the more he drank the less he thought about Sasuke.

 

Or so he kept telling himself.

 

Naruto took drinks orders while Kiba caught Chouji up to speed on the plot. Sai looked bored with the whole thing, so Naruto called him over to help with the drinks: if he was going to make the effort, he may as well start here.

 

“So are you enjoying yourself?” Naruto asked as he pulled bottles from the fridge, briefly distracted by laughter from his friends.

 

“I…” Sai hesitated for a second, his face blank. For a second, Naruto could see what his friends had said the first time they’d met Sai: he and Sasuke did look quite similar. “Ino said I shouldn’t always speak my mind. She seems to think it’s rude.”

 

_Okay, that’s a start._

“It’s fine, you can tell me.” Naruto tried to reassure him: he wanted to know what Sai was thinking behind that inscrutable face.

 

“It’s boring.” He said flatly. “The only reason I came was because Ino asked me to.”

 

_Right. Not as good._

 

Naruto tried not to get frustrated, hoping to maybe find some common ground. “Well what do you enjoy doing?”

 

He thought for a second, like the question puzzled him. “I paint.”

 

“Oh cool, you’re a creative.” Naruto felt he might be getting somewhere. “You know Shino makes music, he’s into dubstep and stuff. You might be able to talk to him about that”

 

“I don’t care.” Sai said bluntly, opening a bottle.

 

_He is far worse than Sasuke._

“Well what do you care about?” Naruto was beginning to feel ridiculed.

 

“Can I let you in on a little secret, Naruto?” Sai asked calmly as he chose another bottle from the fridge. “I don’t much care about anything at all.”

 

Naruto was incredulous. “Okay, now you’re fucking with me.”

 

“No, Naruto.” He smiled like was like he was discussing the weather. “I don’t really feel anything.”

 

He made to take some drinks through, but Naruto stopped him. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Sai?” He whispered angrily, frustration getting the better of him.

 

Sai put the drinks down, wiping the cuff of his black shirt where some had spilt. “You know, Ino said you’d understand me better than anyone else. Let’s see if she was right.”

 

In that same dead tone, he continued. “I’m an orphan like you, Naruto. I don’t remember my parents. When I was adopted, I was taught to repress all emotion. I just don’t feel now. They thought that was optimal.”

 

Naruto was horrified. He didn’t try to stop Sai as he gave beers to Shino and Kiba. By the time he was back, Naruto had found his tongue. “I’m sorry.” It was all he could say.

 

“Don’t be. It’s just how I am.”

 

Naruto grabbed his arm. “If you don’t feel anything Sai, why are you with Ino? Are you stringing her along or something?”

 

Sai looked down at Naruto’s hand for a second, his expression not changing. “I…” He looked over at Ino, laughing her head off at the film and the running commentary by their friends. “I was curious. What it felt like, being with someone.”

 

“It’s been months now. Curiosity not satisfied yet? Or are you just using her?” Naruto snarled quietly, not wanting to alert his friends to their argument.

 

“No. It’s just no one’s ever cared for me before.” Sai looked down for a second, seeming different than before. “I got quite ill shortly after we started dating. Ino showed up at my door the second I told her. She helped me until I was well again, despite the inconvenience it cost her. It is… nice?”

 

Naruto softened his grip. Ino was right: there was something behind the surface of Sai’s cold exterior, rearing its head for a second before vanishing. “Why don’t you drink, Sai?” He asked, having an idea.

 

“It was one of the first things I was taught: stay away from stimulus.”

 

Naruto reached into the freezer and poured two shots of Jägermeister, handing one to Sai. “Drink up. Someone’s fucked you up Sai. Ino and I are gonna help you out. So first thing I’m gonna try is my old friend Jäger.”

 

Sai looked uncertainly at the dark brown liquid, but threw it back with Naruto all the same. “Hmm. This is quite enjoyable.”

 

They were interrupted as Kiba noticed the Jägermeister. “Shots!” He yelled, pumping his fist in the air.

 

Laughing, Naruto took the bottle and a pack of plastic shot-glasses over to the coffee table, quickly heading back for the last of the drinks. “Take it slow,” he advised Sai on the way back. “See what happens, okay?”

 

Sai nodded, taking a beer and sitting back next to Ino. She looked at the bottle, puzzled, before shrugging and downing a shot. They settled back down to continue to rip into the movie, Naruto casting furtive glances over at Sai every so often. He hoped his improvised therapy would work.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

‘They finally finished what they started, eighteen million years ago’ came from the TV as the giant shark and octopus floated lifeless to the bottom of the ocean. Most everyone in the room, all fairly drunk, were killing themselves laughing. Naruto looked over at Sai, who was shaking his head and smiling. It seemed more genuine than anything else he’d seen before. Not that Naruto could focus much: he seemed to be a bit further along than the others.

 

“And that’s pretty much it,” Kiba wheezed, struggling to get the words out. “’Megashark VS Giant Octopus’”

 

Naruto sighed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “Okay Chouji, you win: they both killed each other. Any leftover beer is yours.”

 

“Fuck yeah!” Chouji pumped his fist in the air, finishing the last of his current bottle. Shikamaru, Naruto and Chouji had made a drunken bet on the outcome of the fight: Shikamaru favoured the octopus, Naruto was rooting for the megalodon, and Chouji thought they would kill each other.

 

“I don’t know what my favourite bit was,” Hinata giggled, rather tipsy. “The part where the shark jumped thousands of feet into the air and took down a plane, or when it eats the Golden Gate Bridge.”

 

“Megashark was the best,” Naruto agreed, and started laughing again. “Alright, more shots!”

 

“Actually Naruto, I should get going.” Shikamaru groaned, interrupting his pouring with a hand. “I’ve got early class tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah, I have work.” Chouji agreed.

 

“So do I, at one,” Naruto snorted. “But you don’t hear me whining about it.”

 

“It is getting quite late,” Ino chimed in, standing up unsteadily.

 

“Yes, you’ve had enough I think.” Sai murmured quietly, but wasn’t looking too stable himself

 

Slowly, they all made their excuses and gathered their things. “Aw c’mon guys,” Naruto moaned, messily downing a shot. “I wanna keep drinking!”

 

“And we’re not stopping you,” Shikamaru replied, throwing his coat over his shoulders. “But I think you should call it quits too. You’ve been going quite hard tonight.”

 

Somewhere in the back of Naruto’s mind he entertained the possibility Shikamaru was right, but it was immediately dismissed. “I just wanna have fun dude.”

 

“I’m just glad we don’t have to drag him home.” Shino muttered.

 

Hinata reached out from next to Naruto and gently touched his arm. “I’ll stay with you for a bit Naruto.”

 

“Horaaay!” Naruto cheered weakly, slurring slightly. “See, Hinata knows how to party.”

 

He got up to let his friends out, hugging Shikamaru and Chouji. “Thanks for coming guys.”

 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Chouji smiled, slapping him on the shoulder.

 

“Take care of yourself, okay Naruto?” Shikamaru said, looking more serious.

 

“S’fine. I’m good, okay?” Naruto tried to seem unconcerned, but for all the good the night had done him he was still feeling anxious.

 

He didn’t seem convinced. “Mhmm. See you around.”

 

Naruto patted Shino on the back as he left too, Kiba stopping to give him a bear hug. “Look after yourself buddy,” he laughed as he squeezed the air out of Naruto.

 

“You’re starting to sound like Shikamaru,” Naruto grunted, trying to breath.

 

“How dare you? He might be zen but he isn’t nearly as pretty as me.”

 

Naruto pushed him out into the corridor to join the rest of his friends. As Ino and Sai went to follow, the latter turned to him. “Uh… thanks, Naruto. For, you know. I think it might be working.”

 

Naruto grinned lopsidedly, glad something had gone right that night. “That’s great! Here, hang on.” He grabbed a pen and ripped the top off an old bill lying on his dining table. “Here’s my number: if you need to talk, just let me know.”

 

Sai gently took the paper, folding it up in his thin fingers and nodding as he slipped it carefully in his pocket. “I will.”

 

Ino, in a state comparable to Naruto’s, only noticed the exchange as she was halfway through the door. She didn’t say anything, but quickly glanced back at Naruto, mouthing a grateful ‘thank you’ as the door swung closed.

 

Naruto leaned his head against the door when it closed, smiling softly as he heard the gang troop down to the outside door, a smattering of badly repressed laughter echoing up the stairwell. He almost forgot Hinata had stayed until she chuckled.

 

Making his way to the couch, he collapsed into it, sighing. “Here, you haven’t tried the sofa yet, have you? Come on.” Head back and eyes closed, he patted the couch cushion next to him.

 

In a second he felt the couch dip slightly as she carefully perched herself on the edge of the middle seat. He looked up and grinned mischievously. “No, no, you have to really lie back to enjoy it.”

 

He leaned over the edge, hitting the electronic switch for the footrest. Hinata yelped as, like Shino, she was flung sideways. They both burst out in full-blown laughter as she ended up lying across the couch, feet in Naruto’s lap. It died down into a comfortable silence as Naruto gently stroked her calf absent-mindedly.

 

“This was always such a comfortable position.” Hinata sighed, closing her large, pale eyes.

 

“For you, maybe,” Naruto said cheekily. “Half the time I ended up rubbing your feet for you.”

 

“Mmm,” Hinata agreed, stretching out like a cat. “You did give the best foot rubs.”

 

There was another small lull in the conversation. “Hey,” Naruto started awkwardly. “I’m really sorry about earlier. When I shouted at you. I’ve just been really stressed, and-” he sighed, cutting himself off. “I shouldn’t be taking that out on you though. I’m sorry.”

 

Hinata didn’t seem too bothered. “Don’t worry, it’s okay. It was a bit… unexpected.” She looked up at him and smiled. “Kiba gave you a telling, didn’t he?”

 

Naruto exhaled though his nose, chuckling awkwardly. “Yeah. Yeah he did.”

 

“He means well.”

 

“I know, I know.” Naruto smiled reassuringly. “I needed it though.”

 

Hinata sat up slightly, hesitating. “Naruto, are you okay?”

 

He sighed, scratching his jaw. “I’m getting asked that a lot.”

 

Hinata looked a little taken aback. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to pry, but-”

 

“-Let me guess, you’re worried?” Naruto cut her off, exasperated. He took a second, trying to calm himself down. “I’m sorry, I’m doing it again.”

 

Hinata sat up, frowning. “Well something’s obviously up. Shikamaru’s noticed, and so have I.”

 

Naruto rubbed his hands over his face: he wasn’t drunk enough for this. “Look, I hate keeping you guys in the dark, but I can’t tell you.”

 

Hinata leaned forward, concerned. “I’m not asking you to tell me anything. But you don’t have to do everything alone. If I can help, if any of us can, please say.”

 

Naruto looked away, feeling guilty for being so irritated at her. Not only this, but now Sasuke was on his mind again.  “You’re right. But there’s nothing you can do. I’m sorry, Hinata.”

 

_I can’t stop thinking about Sasuke. I haven’t heard from him in days… and ‘busy’ with what exactly?_

Hinata looked on, concerned as he poured himself another shot from the rapidly depleting bottle. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough, Naruto?”

 

“Nah, it’s a game I’ve been playing tonight.” Naruto screwed up his face as the alcohol hit him. “It’s ‘drink every time I worry about him.’”

 

Hinata didn’t find it funny. “Every time you worry about who? Kinda pot calling kettle here, don’t you think?”

 

“Oh, with-” Naruto went to reply, before realising what he was about to say. “-no one. Just a friend.”

 

“Well it seems like your friend’s stressing you out a bit.” Hinata’s expression softened, and she reached out to hold his hand. “Naruto, you can’t solve your problems with alcohol.”

 

“I dunno, it seems to work for him…” Naruto muttered, before lying back in the couch. “I’m sorry Hinata, I’m being a shitty friend right now.”

 

Hinata was quiet for a while, pouring herself a shot and downing it. Naruto raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. “You’re not being a shitty friend, Naruto. We’ve all been there, at least once. But sort it out.”

 

As Naruto nodded silently, Hinata seemed to have a realisation. “Wait, this isn’t about Sai, is it?”

 

“What?” Naruto was quite taken aback. “No, no. Sai’s just got… issues. I’m trying to help him out, you know?”

 

“You can say that again.” Nevertheless, Hinata smiled sadly. “Oh, Naruto… you’re always ready to cut yourself open, aren’t you?”

 

He shrugged. “I like helping people.”

 

“It’s what makes you special, Naruto. Just be careful people don’t take advantage of that.”

 

Hinata took another shot, leaning back and into Naruto’s shoulder. It was nice, for a time: they just lay there, comforted by each other’s touch. It reminded Naruto of old times, when the two of them would fall asleep in each other’s arms, sleepy and content…

 

_But these aren’t old times._

Naruto sighed, trying not to get too comfortable with the arrangement: as lonely as he was, he didn’t want to lead Hinata on.

 

_Although how nice would that be? One more drunken night with her…_

Naruto shook his head, hoping the motion would stop that train of thought dead. Even without the complicated nature of his and Hinata’s relationship, he wasn’t taking advantage of either of their drunkenness.

 

_Stop it. You’re not that kind of guy._

Sitting there on his couch with Hinata, he had a sudden Jäger-induced epiphany. “You ever just sit there and wonder what you’re doing with your life?”

 

Hinata groaned and stretched again, one eye open. “I dunno, Naruto. I mean, sometimes I look at all my Uni work and think… ‘why am I doing this?’” She sat up, a bit more collected. “‘Am I doing this for me, or cause my Dad wants me to?’ I enjoy biology, but… I just don’t know where I’m going.”

 

“Oh man, I didn’t know that.” It had caught Naruto by surprise. “I just see you and Shikamaru, studying, Kiba well on his way to do vet-med, Chouji and Ino in line to take over their parent’s businesses… I just feel like I’ve got nothing compared that. Hell, even Sa- that friend, the one I’m worried about, has done more than I could ever dream of.”

 

Hinata thought for a second. “You need a goal, Naruto.”

 

“A goal?”

 

“Yeah, something you’re driving towards.” She smiled. “Think about it. And find something you wanna do.”

 

Naruto said nothing, mulling things over. ‘You don’t have to do everything alone’ – the thought of Sasuke, maybe hurt, needing his help, it pushed him over the edge.

 

“Hinata, can you keep a secret?” Without waiting for an answer, he dove in head first. “It’s Sasuke. He’s back.”

 

Hinata’s eyes widened in realisation, and for a moment she seemed too shocked to say anything. “He’s back?”

 

“He’s been back for a while now.” Naruto gulped, careful not to say too much. “I met him and… well, we had a drink.”

 

“Oh no,” Hinata whispered, before her eyes shot to Naruto’s. “He didn’t hurt you again, did he?”

 

“No, no,” Naruto said quickly. “The opposite. He… wants to make up for it.”

 

 Hinata looked like she wanted to say something, but stopped. She sighed. “Do you trust him?”

 

It wasn’t a difficult question. “Yeah. Yeah, I trust him.”

 

Hinata seemed to steel herself. “It’s like I said about Ino: I’ve gotta trust you to make your own decisions. But… but I don’t like it Naruto.”

 

Naruto snorted. “It’s not like Ino at all, I’m not dating him.”

 

Hinata gave him a look, but said nothing.

 

“Does it make me an idiot?” Naruto asked quietly.

 

“I think… I think it makes you brave.” Hinata whispered. “Braver than most. Braver than me, that’s for sure. Because now I’m scared for you, Naruto.”

 

“You haven’t seen him. Not now, now he’s…” Naruto tried to find the words. “He’s hurting, Hinata. I’ve got to help him.”

 

Hinata leaned forward, finishing the bottle as she poured out two final shots. She handed one to Naruto, holding hers steady. “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but you be careful, okay? You can only cut yourself open so much before, well… before you bleed out.”

 

“To being careful, I guess.” Naruto smiled, clinking their glasses together and downing the shot. He looked at the empty bottle, grimacing. “Christ, did we drink the lot?”

 

Hinata nodded, a bit unsteadily: she was catching up to Naruto now. “Yup… we did.”

 

Naruto exhaled deeply, sitting back. It felt instantly better saying it out loud. He wouldn’t go into detail about Sasuke had been up to: he felt like he’d said more than enough for Hinata’s comfort, and far too much for Sasuke’s.

 

“Look, you can’t say anything about this to the rest of them.” Naruto blurted out. “Sasuke, he… doesn’t think you’d all forgive him the way I do. To be honest, he’s convinced he doesn’t deserve it.”

 

“Maybe he doesn’t,” she replied quietly.

 

“Believe me, Hinata, you could never be as angry at him as he is at himself.”

 

“I won’t tell anyone, Naruto, you have my word on that.” Hinata sighed, her vision suddenly unfocused. “Oooh… all the booze just hit me there.”

 

Naruto nodded, starting to feel the effects himself. “Come on, let’s get you home: I’ll walk you.”

 

Hinata started to get up, but stumbled slightly. “No, no, I can get myself home okay…”

 

“You’re only fifteen minutes away, don’t be daft.” Naruto replied, staggering as he too managed to leave the couch’s embrace to get his shoes and a jumper.

 

“I’m not getting a choice, am I?” Hinata huffed as she struggled with one of the armholes of her jacket.

 

“You know me too well,” Naruto grinned.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“Naruto… Naruto...”

 

He groaned as he slowly came to, face down on his bed, becoming aware of a hand shaking his bare shoulder. He said the first thing that came to his mind.

 

“Mmm, fuck off.”

 

“That’s not a very respectful thing to say to your teacher, is it?”

 

Naruto jumped at the voice, twisting violently in the bed to face Jiraiya. Instantly a wave of nausea hit him, his head throbbing. “Oh, Jesus.”

 

“Jesus indeed.” Jiraiya agreed, but he was laughing.

 

Naruto held a hand to his forehead, trying to make sure his brain didn’t explode. “Fuck… what time is it?” He looked around for his phone, but couldn’t see it. “Where’s my…”

 

“It’s on your coffee table, out of battery, with quite a few empty bottles.” Jiraiya grinned. He suddenly leaned into Naruto’s ear and yelled. “How’s the hangover?”

 

Naruto fell back, groaning. Now that he knew Jiraiya wasn’t mad, he felt a little better. But only a little.

 

“It’s just past three,” Jiraiya continued, getting up and striding round to the curtains, throwing them open.

 

Naruto’s heart dropped through his stomach as he squinted against the glare, suddenly feeling worse than before. “Past three? But…”

 

“Yeah.”

 

_I’m two hours late for work, and my boss showed up at my flat to find me._

_I’m so fired._

“Oh my God, I am so sorry Jiraiya. My alarm was on my phone, and I must have left it in the living room and-”

 

“It’s okay Naruto, relax. I’m not here to tear you a new one.” Jiraiya came back to sit on the bed again, still smiling patiently. Now that Naruto really looked at him past the headache and bleary eyes, he noticed Jiraiya was sweating, his forehead damp with perspiration.

 

_That’s… unusual._

“The real reason I’m here is, well…” Jiraiya scratched his nose, looking slightly sheepish. “I kinda over-reacted. You didn’t show up to work, which is very unlike you: you’ve never just blown it off. I tried calling, but the phone went straight to voicemail. Again, odd, since you’re a kid, you’re glued to those things. So I… thought you might be in trouble.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Naruto ran a hand through his hair, feeling guilty. “You must have been so worried.”

 

“Half out my mind,” Jiraiya laughed, still extremely cavalier about the whole thing. “I’m still waiting for Orochimaru to poke his slimy head out of the shadows. Imagine how glad I was to find you here, passed out amongst bottles of Jäger.”

 

“We only drank the one bottle…” Naruto grumbled, but sat up. “So… you’re not gonna fire me?”  


Jiraiya was taken aback. “Jesus, of course not! Someone with your good record and work ethic, there’s no way I’d fire them for a one-off bender like this. Especially not my Godson.” His voice became more serious, almost schoolmaster-esque as he look down that long nose at Naruto. “Assuming this is a one off.”

 

“Y-yes. Sir.” Naruto stammered.

 

“Come off it, you don’t need to call me sir,” Jiraiya laughed heartily, throwing his head back and slapping Naruto on the arm. Unprepared, he was almost knocked over. “Whoops. You know you don’t have to call me sir. Now come on, I’ve just boiled the kettle: you need some coffee.”

 

Jiraiya left him to get dressed, and soon enough he was sipping a steaming mug of black coffee. He went over to the fridge but found Jiraiya’s arm holding the door closed.

 

“Trust me, it works better black.” He grinned, slightly enjoying Naruto’s discomfort.

 

“So the milk’s being held hostage?” Naruto asked, smiling slightly and shaking his head. “Yes sir,” he added mockingly.

 

“It’s for your own good. I was in that position too many times when I was your age. Got some stories that’d make your toes curl.” Jiraiya teased, sipping his own coffee.

 

“I bet.”

 

They milled about a bit, just chatting until Naruto felt better. “So do you want me to come in tomorrow, do another shift to make up for it?” He asked as he washed their mugs.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jiraiya waved him off. “More hassle than it’s worth. Besides, I know you were looking forward to that three-day weekend. There is something you can do for me though.”

 

Naruto didn’t like the sound of this. “Yeah?”

 

Jiraiya has an evil look on his face. “You can complete your scheduled training today. Both Kakashi’s and mine.”

 

“Counter offer: no.” They shared a laugh for a second before Naruto added. “But seriously, counter offer: mind taking the glass out as you go? I’ll be hard pressed to both clean this up and sort my life out.”

 

Jiraiya accepted gallantly, waiting patiently as Naruto gathered up all the bottles in a bin bag. By the time he was done it was bulging at the seams, looking like it was gonna go any second.

 

Jiraiya hefted the bin in one hand, waving sarcastically with the other. “See you tonight.”

 

Naruto sighed as he shut the door and looked at everything else he had to do. He wandered over to the TV and switched it on. He was ready to switch over from the default news channel to find something for the background, but he found himself captivated by what he saw.

 

“…another excellent win for the city in the increasing problem of gang activity, the arrests of criminals referring to themselves as the Sound Four. These five men, going by their given names of Sakon, Ukon, Kidōmaru, Tayuya and Jirōbō, were apprehended after extensive evidence was compiled against them. They face charges of first degree murder, arson, burglary, and many more minor charges.”

 

Naruto was stunned at the faces paraded upon the screen: it was the Sound Four all right, the men they’d met last week.

 

_So this is what Sasuke means when he says he’ll take care of a problem…_

The anchor continued. “Although they are believed to be just one small facet of a larger organisation, this provides an excellent step forward in combatting increasing reports of gang-related crime in the area.”

 

More information was passed across the screen, but none of it told Naruto anything useful. He sank into the sofa, eyes transfixed, as he rewound the report and scanned it again, and again.

 

But that was all he was getting: Sasuke got them arrested.

 

Naruto was blown away for a second. He suddenly decided he didn’t want to watch television anymore; he changed to music and tried to forget it for at least a second, and get lost in the repetitive task of cleaning.

 

It didn’t work.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“And… exhale.”

 

Naruto almost collapsed as his lungs deflated. Dragging his leaden limbs to the bench at the side, he tried to ignore Konohamaru’s chatter and practically inhaled his water bottle. Training had been an absolute nightmare, the paracetamol he’d downed before coming not at all relieving the headache. He couldn’t help but think of what Sasuke had said the last time they’d met, about training with Kakashi. Add in a big helping of distraction from the Sound Four situation, and he definitely wasn’t in top form.

 

Kakashi was suddenly at his side. “Hey Naruto, fancy going out for a drink tonight?”

 

Naruto felt himself throw up in his mouth a little at the very mention of alcohol. “With all respect, Sir, get fucked.”

 

Everyone that had overheard thought this exchange was hilarious, Naruto grinning reluctantly. Kakashi seemed to see the funny side too, now that training was over at least. Saying that during a session would get him running laps backwards till he puked.

 

“Thought so. How bad is it this time?” Kakashi asked playfully.

 

Naruto breathed hard, trying to focus on not dying. “This is a level nine hangover.” He exhaled hard, reconsidering. “Nine and a half.”

 

He seemed surprised, judging solely by his eyebrows. “That bad? You did pretty well.”

 

“Thanks,” Naruto smiled weakly. “Listen, Kakashi, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?”

 

“Absolutely.” He turned heel and walked away, motioning after a moment for Naruto to follow. “What’s on your mind?”

 

Naruto decided there was no subtle way of asking. “Do you remember a student called Sasuke? Sasuke Uchiha?”

 

“I wondered if this would come up.” Kakashi pondered a second. “He’s a rather hard man to forget, wouldn’t you say?”

 

“Yeah, you can say that again.” Naruto scratched his sweaty scalp, not having planned this far ahead. “Well he’s a friend of mine. And I didn’t know this before, but apparently he used to train with you. I was just wondering what… well, what you taught him.”

 

Kakashi frowned, looking up and to his left. “Sasuke was particularly… troubled. He hired me for one-on-one training, apparently on your recommendation. We started on some advanced techniques. He was frightfully strong. I don’t think I’ve since met someone as intense.”

 

“Soon I went from the physical to the mental.” Kakashi continued. “I tried to... well, counsel him, I guess, between the sessions. I just talked to him, tried to teach him some methods to calm himself down. It didn’t take. He got worse and worse. One day he just stopped calling. His number no longer existed.”

 

“I thought as much,” Naruto muttered, disheartened he hadn’t got any further. “Let me guess, he disappeared about the time I got injured, right? About three years ago?”

 

Kakashi frowned again. “Two.”

 

Naruto thought he’d misheard. “What?”

 

“It was two years ago I last saw Sasuke. He started maybe six months before that.” Kakashi confirmed. He looked down at Naruto’s arm, linking the two statements. “Wait, your arm- he did that?”

 

Naruto said nothing, trying to resist the urge to rub the injury. “Thanks Kakashi.”

 

“Hang on, you’re saying the guy that did that to you- I _helped_ him?”

 

“Look, it was a snap decision, okay?” Naruto winced once he realised his choice of words. “He’s not like that. Honestly.”

 

Kakashi looked shaken. “Look Naruto, if you see him again don’t go near him. I don’t know what you think you know, but that kid is dangerous.”

 

“I’ll see you next time, Kakashi.”

 

And with that, Naruto gathered his stuff and left before his instructor could say anything more.

 

Jiraiya met him at the door, a good-natured snarky smile on his face. “Ready to get stuck in?”

 

Naruto stared at his shoes, not in the mood for it. “I guess. I mean, I deserve it.”

 

Jiraiya’s smile instantly dropped. “Naruto, are you alright?”

 

_Keep up appearances Naruto. You have to keep up appearances._

“Sorry, I’m fine.” Naruto answered eventually, trying to force a smile on his face. “Let’s go.”

 

Jiraiya shook his head, smiling gently. “No, I think you’ve had enough for tonight. I’m not trying to kill my Godson, after all.” He dug around in his pocket and pulled out a tattered old wallet, handing a few notes over to Naruto. “Here, I meant to give you this earlier: it pays for half the couch.”

 

Naruto gingerly took the money. “Jiraiya, I can’t…”

 

“Don’t be silly, Naruto. It’s the least I can do.”

 

Naruto felt awful taking money from Jiraiya anyway, let alone for something he didn’t even need, but when Jiraiya got this way there was no arguing. He eventually conceded. “Thanks.”

 

“Right, let’s get you home. I think you’ve had enough excitement for one day.”

 

That was an understatement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again for all your comments and support! I really really appreciate it :)
> 
> The next chapter should be on the way double-quick, since it's actually already been written, just needs a few re-writes. As per usual, I love comments of the commenty nature, so fire away!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having learned the truth of Sasuke's training with Kakashi, Naruto tries to confront his friend

Naruto slammed the shot glass down hard against the counter, harder than he meant to. His eyes were fixed on his phone, sat in front of him as it had been for the last fifteen minutes. He reached for it again, but only got halfway; once again he sighed, leaning both hands heavily against his kitchen counter, eyes closed.

_Why is this so fucking difficult?_

It was two days after his last training session with Kakashi, and Naruto had been coming to terms with what he’d just learned: that barely half a year after he’d left Naruto bleeding in the street, Sasuke had been training with one of his teachers. While he was in rehab learning how to use his hand again, Sasuke was getting stronger off the back of Naruto’s hard work.

 

He knew he needed to confront Sasuke about this, otherwise it would drive him mad. But every time he opened up his messages, he found it quite impossible to type anything out. Sasuke had sent him several texts asking to meet up, and Naruto hadn’t replied to any of them.

 

Saturday afternoon, after a morning of moping about and procrastinating, Naruto had placed the phone on his kitchen counter, vowing he wouldn’t move until he sent the text. He’d decided a small nip of vodka, liquid courage, couldn’t hurt. Now, five shots later on an empty stomach, and Naruto was starting to feel quite drunk.

 

“God fucking damn it!” He yelled, slamming his fist into the counter, shaking the phone and shot glass. It was childish, but the outburst was cathartic.

 

He hit the centre button of his phone, making the screen light up. 2pm. It was two in the afternoon and he was well on his way to being drunk.

 

“Fuck’s sake,” he sighed, gathering his strength. He pushed the vodka bottle out of arm’s reach, trying to remove the temptation for another shot, and picked up the phone.

 

Like he had a thousand times before, he opened up his messages and clicked on Sasuke’s name. He stared at the flashing cursor for a while, unsure of what to say. Resisting the urge to throw the phone away once more, he kept it simple.

 

‘we need to talk.’

 

He exhaled sharply, dropping the phone. He’d done it. Now he just had to withstand the clenching in his gut until Sasuke replied. He shook his head, grabbing the bottle and shakily pouring himself another shot.

 

“Last one,” he promised himself before throwing it back.

 

Sasuke replied in record time.

 

‘Good to hear from you. Meet me in Banshee’s.’

 

‘time?’ Naruto typed back, trying to concentrate.

 

‘Now.’

 

He double checked his phone in surprise, but it was still 2pm. Then again, he supposed he had no right to judge, given his current state.

 

“No time to waste I guess,” Naruto muttered, grabbing a hoodie and stalking out of the flat.

 

As soon as the crisp air outside hit him, Naruto knew he’d made a mistake. He was really feeling the effects of those shots, having to take several deep breaths. He had to focus hard on walking. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot…

 

_This is not a good idea. Not a good idea at all._

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

After what seemed like an eternity, the bus reached Naruto’s stop. He had been drifting in and out of concentration the whole journey, having to jerk himself upright and hit the ‘stop’ button at the last minute. The moving bus not helping his inebriated state, he staggered down the aisle and off into the street. It was only when the bus had rolled off he realised he’d forgotten to thank the driver.

 

Naruto pulled his hood up, not wanting to be recognised like this. His heart was pounding as he walked the steep path down to Banshee’s, a rush of emotions flooded him; he was most acutely aware of anxiety, stomach twisting in knots. Dodging a pile of vomit outside one of the nightclubs – which seemed to reappear every few days with near clockwork regularity – he almost knocked another man over, spinning away at the last minute. Mumbling his apologies, Naruto felt ashamed of the state he was in.

 

_I must look like a fucking junkie…_

 

He stumbled to an abrupt stop outside Banshee’s, still surprised it was open so early. Shrugging off his hood, he wandered inside and tried to find Sasuke. As he passed the first bar, a woman cleaning tables looked up.

 

“Sorry  dude, we’re closed.” She said, continuing as if he wasn’t there.

 

Naruto stumbled over his words, surprised: Sasuke had said now, hadn’t he? “But… but I was meeting someone…”

 

The girl looked up again, brushing a stray lock of blond hair out of her face. “Black hair, miserable? Likes whisky?” She sighed as Naruto nodded, gesturing down a set of stairs. “He’s just down there. Dunno why the boss lets him open early just for three people, but there we go. Remind him he has till six.”

 

He descended the stairs, immediately seeing the back of Sasuke’s head. He sitting at one of the tables in the corner, the seats designed to look like church pews – for all he knew, they could have been originally. He was with engaged in a quiet, heated debate with another man sitting opposite. Or, at least, heated from one side; from what he could see, Sasuke seemed to be fairly still, the other man looking quite agitated. He was tall, his mid-long spiky hair almost violently ginger.

 

Naruto wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but couldn’t help overhearing the exchange. “I keep telling you, Sasuke, this is not the time to be celebrating. What we did to the Sound Four is going to earn us enemies. And that’s not the worst of it. You can’t have your cake and eat it, I-”

 

Naruto could barely hear Sasuke’s voice, but it was steel enough to cut the other man off mid-sentence. “I’m not celebrating, Jūgo. If I wasn’t doing it here, I’d be doing it at home.”

 

_So that’s Jūgo, the one that was worried…_

Sasuke leaned forward, the pew’s high back obscuring him. “I’ve heard this all before. I’ve got plans for the rest of them. Trust me or don’t.” He sat up again suddenly as Naruto approached. “Go back and tell Karin the same. I’m done here.”

 

As Jūgo sighed and made to leave, Sasuke held a glass out to his side, not turning round. “Drink, Naruto?”

 

Naruto stopped in surprise, still a few paces away. He went to cross the last few feet, a completely different fear suddenly gripping him.

 

_What if Sasuke’s hurt again?_

That suddenly seemed so much worse than Naruto’s grievances. Sasuke’s wellbeing had been at back of his mind, suddenly bursting forth just seconds before seeing the man himself.

 

He cautiously accepted the drink, walking round the table to see Sasuke. He was… fine. As fine as Sasuke could look anyway: he was still unnaturally pale, even for him, the bags under his eyes prominent and heavy. But there weren’t any new gashes, cuts, or scrapes. His black eye had even healed up, some slight yellow discolouration still visible around his temple.

 

For a second, everything else seemed trivial: Sasuke was here, in one piece. But slowly the information that had weighed so heavily on Naruto began to gain mass again, until it felt like it was physically pressing down on his shoulders.

 

Jūgo grabbed a long, black coat from the pew and threw it over the white shirt he wore, glancing sullenly at Sasuke. As he brushed past Naruto, he whispered into his ear. “Look after him.”

 

Taken slightly aback, Naruto turned to watch him leave. Trying to concentrate, he slipped into the now-vacant seat and took a sip of the whisky; he didn’t think he should drink any more, but it seemed impolite not to. There was silence for a few moments.

 

“How did you know it was me?” Naruto finally decided to ask.

 

“Your gait,” Sasuke replied, looking pleased with himself. Rolling his eyes at Naruto’s blank look, he explained. “The way you walk. You shuffle your left foot.”

 

“Ah.”

 

Another pause. Naruto had been topped up with vodka and anger when he’d sent the text, but now he was here the wind had gone out of his sails. Thinking about it, Sasuke always seemed to do that to him.

 

“You said you needed to talk?” Sasuke helpfully offered, taking a deep drink. His face was displaying its usual stoicism, but he seemed slightly more relaxed. “It’s not about that damn couch, is it?”

 

“No, no. I’m… sorry about that.” Naruto said awkwardly, stumbling over his words slightly.

 

_You’re on the back foot here and you haven’t even started. Go on! Tell him why you’re really here._

“Sasuke, I…” Naruto sighed, pausing to take a large gulp of whisky. He was still rather drunk, the fortification more psychosomatic than anything. “I talked to Kakashi.”

 

His expression didn’t change. “And?”

 

“You told me you were training with him before you left. But it was after.” Naruto was gaining steam, the alcohol pushing him on. “You fucked up my arm, left all of us worried sick, then what? You get lessons from my teacher while I’m struggling to hold a fucking pencil?”

 

Naruto’s anger was boiling over, coming to the surface. He knew he was almost shouting, but he didn’t care. “I thought you’d left. We all did. And you were getting, what, therapy from Kakashi? ‘Look at me, I’m Sasuke Uchiha and my life’s a fucking train wreck! I can do whatever I like, cause I’m so goddamn sad.’”

 

He sat there panting, fingers clutched around the squat glass so hard he feared he’d break it. Sasuke was silent, his jaw working slightly behind that calm mask.

Naruto knew he shouldn’t have said it: it was one of the thoughts he was most ashamed of, one he’d pushed right back down whenever it floated to the surface. But it was there, at the back of his mind, and now he’d said it.

 

“Are you done?” Sasuke eventually asked, taking another swig. Without waiting for Naruto to reply, he continued. “I think this is the first time you’ve been more drunk than me. Certainly this early.”

 

Naruto fiddled with his sleeve awkwardly, not wanting to meet Sasuke’s gaze. He looked up after a second or two, surprised to find his eyes sad.

 

“I’m sorry Naruto.”

 

It hung in the air for a second, thick and heavy. Naruto didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Sasuke continued.

 

“You’re right. It must seem like I’m just… obsessing. And I owe you a lot more than this.” He ran a hand through his perfect hair, sighing. “You deserve the whole truth. I’ll tell you everything. I’ll tell you what happened the night I left.”

 

Naruto’s jaw went slack: for three years he’d been going over it again and again, not able to make his peace with it until he knew all the answers. And here he was, on the precipice of knowing, and suddenly he wondered if he wanted to. That night had pushed Sasuke over the edge. Did he really want to know every gory detail?

 

Sasuke didn’t give him a chance to think about it. “I’m only going to ask one thing: I don’t want any interruptions. Naruto, I’ve never had to tell anyone this before. I… I don’t know how it’s gonna feel.”

 

Naruto steeled his resolve and nodded wordlessly. Then Sasuke began.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“I know everyone at school always wondered why I was… well, why I was this way. I didn’t make friends easily. I kept to myself. Did I ever tell you I got counselling? After it happened… my parents, that is.” Sasuke snorted, shaking his head. “It was such bullshit. I knew what had happened changed me. Just not the way they thought.”

 

Sasuke finished one whisky, pouring himself another glass. It was a rare thing, ordering a bottle at a bar; Naruto wondered if he’d always planned to tell this story today. He continued. “I wanted only one thing. I wanted to see them dead. The ones that murdered my parents. I kept training, threw myself into it with all I had. And you did the same, Naruto. Funny how it wound up ending, isn’t it?”

 

It was clear from his expression that Sasuke didn’t find it funny at all. “On that day they called me into the headmaster’s office. He kept asking strange questions, questions about my brother. When I asked what it was about, he’d deflect. I could tell he was hiding something.” His eyes snapped from the glass to Naruto. “You remember how the headmaster’s office was set up, right? I should think so, you were in there often enough. Computer on the desk, in front of that big window? It was raining that day, very dark. When he got out of his seat, I saw the computer screen reflected on the window.”

 

“’Itachi Uchiha, prime suspect in Uchiha Massacre.’” He threw out his hands, framing the imaginary title, laughing humourlessly. The look in his eyes… it was terrifying. “I didn’t hang around. I ran. I went straight home, didn’t think he’d be there, but… I wanted to know. I was torn: he was my big brother. He raised me, after our parents… it couldn’t be true.”

 

Sasuke’s mouth hardened into a thin, grim line, his voice barely above a whisper. “He was waiting for me. The TV was on. The same news report. He knew I’d seen everything, but didn’t try and switch it off. He said nothing, just staring at me. It was like looking at an entirely different person. I wasn’t looking at my brother any more.”

 

Sasuke swallowed hard, his hand shaking slightly on the glass. “He didn’t deny it. He just walked through to his room. I followed, insisting he tell me what was happening. Then I saw it all: a shit-ton of weapons, half-packed. Pistols, knives, even an assault rifle and a fucking shotgun. And he finally answered me. Just… ‘It’s true. Every word.’

 

“For the longest time I couldn’t process it. I’d been training every day since my parents had died, determined to face their killers…” Sasuke shook his head slowly. “And I was incapable of doing anything. Then the floodwall just… broke. All my rage, all the misery, it overflowed. I attacked him. And he beat me so easily, like he wasn’t even trying. He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t have to.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes were far off now, haunting, unblinking. “He threw me down to the floor. Pulled out a gun. I can remember every detail of that moment, Naruto. Every detail. He loads it. Racks the slide. I’ll never forget the sound it made as the round was chambered. He puts the muzzle to my head, right here.” He tapped the centre of his forehead, eyes not moving an inch. “It was cold. Blunt end digging into my skin. And he just looked down at me like he was bored. Disinterested.”

 

Sasuke finished his drink, closing his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, he seemed calmer. More composed. His hand was steadier as it gently placed the empty glass down on the stained wood.

 

“Eventually he put the gun down. Says ‘you’re not even worth killing.’ His voice was… clinical. Like he was looking at a fucking specimen. He left me there on the floor, shaking. I could see him through his bedroom door, packing the rest of his things. He was slow, methodical, like he had all the time in the world. I wanted nothing more than to get up, keep fighting, but… my body wouldn’t. I was paralysed.”

 

Sasuke finished another whisky, the fastest Naruto had seen him drink.

 

_And that’s saying something._

“He came back through, coat on, massive suitcase in tow. You’d never have guessed it was filled with case after case of weapons. He turns to leave, and I finally manage to say something. I tell him I’m going to kill him. And I meant it. He didn’t seem to take it seriously. I remember the exact words he said to me.”

 

Sasuke finally looked up at Naruto, his black eyes burning. He could see how much this was hurting him, reliving the moments vividly. They were tortured. “’If you want to kill me, little brother, take every ounce of hate you have. Let it fester. Let it make you strong. Then we’ll see.’”

 

Sasuke slammed another whisky, breaking eye contact. For a while, neither of them said anything. Naruto was trying to process everything.

 

_So this is what he’s been sitting on all these years? Holy fuck…_

Sasuke, however, wasn’t done. “Then he left. I don’t know how long I spent there, on the floor, shaking. But when I could finally move again, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to leave. I grabbed anything essential, left the rest. I realised I was still wearing the necklace Itachi gave me, the leaf one. Threw it as hard as I could. Think I broke it.”

 

_One more mystery down…_

“Then you came.”

 

Naruto felt a chill run down his spine. He knew where this part of the story ended up. But with the additional context, it was more… muddied. Naruto wasn’t sure if he was on the right side of things any more.

 

Sasuke looked away, eyes glued to the table. “It was… confusing. My head was absolute chaos. Itachi, my parents, leaving, it was like a maelstrom. All the thoughts crashed together, rising and falling. But out of everything, one thing rose above it all: ‘protect Naruto.’”

 

Naruto felt a sudden surge of anger, the whisky fanning the flames.

_No. That’s not how it happened at all._

 

How dare that bastard try and twist things to suit himself? Naruto was about to say something, but Sasuke interrupted him.

 

“I know. I didn’t do a very good job, did I?” Sasuke laughed, choking halfway through. He was now almost whispering, his voice sounding strange. “I tried, Naruto. I really did. You just kept coming, you didn’t stop, and- and I had to keep you out of it. Because I knew if Itachi killed our parents, he wouldn’t think twice about killing you.”

 

This stunned Naruto into silence. He had never even considered that.

 

Sasuke’s voice was shaking, his face obscured by the hand on his temples, elbow resting on the table. “I didn’t… I didn’t think it would happen that way. The only way you’d stop is if I hurt you. I figured a broken arm, a month to heal, it wouldn’t be too bad. You’d hate me, but you’d be safe. That was all that mattered. You, Sakura, everyone, you’d all be safe. But…”

 

Sasuke gulped, pausing. “It went wrong. I… you…” His voice cracked, and he slumped down on the table. It took Naruto several seconds to realise he was crying, silent sobs wracking his body.

 

Naruto was getting teary himself, hesitantly reaching out a hand and gently took Sasuke’s. They didn’t say anything, Sasuke gripping his hand tight as he rode out the emotional storm.

 

Eventually Sasuke raised his head, tears cutting tracks down his face. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, the other not leaving Naruto’s. With visible effort, he continued. “You were in so much pain, there was blood everywhere. I sometimes see it when I’m trying to sleep: the bone, the blood running with the rainwater… do you remember what you said?”

 

Naruto thought hard, but couldn’t come up with anything specific. “Honestly, I don’t remember much after… well, y’know.”

 

Sasuke nodded. “You were half delirious. But your words stuck with me as much as Itachi’s. ‘If I can’t use my arms, I’ll use my legs. If I can’t use my legs, I’ll use my head. If I can’t use my head, I’ll stare you down. I’m not just gonna let you leave.’” He let the words hang in the air. “Sound familiar?”

 

“I don’t remember saying it, but it does sound like the sort of dumb shit I’d come out with.”

 

 Sasuke smiled for a fraction of a second, more of a twitch than anything. “Be glib if you like, but you’ve proved that you more than live up to it.” He got serious again very quickly. “For a second, I didn’t know what to do. What I’d just done, I could feel it. Like a thousand knives in my stomach. I wanted nothing more than to help you, but… but the damage was done. Where I was going, you couldn’t follow. And I’d burnt the bridge.”

 

Sasuke looked up again, his expression softening. “At least I thought I had. You’re… you’re something else, Naruto. You really are.”

 

Naruto laughed gently, still reeling slightly from everything he’d just been told. “Jiraiya once said I’m either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.”

 

“Maybe a bit of both,” Sasuke teased, before suddenly seeming quite shy. “Seriously, Naruto. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.”

 

Naruto blushed, face flushing as tried to stutter out a thank you. Sasuke chuckled, before his eyes snapped down to their hands, still linked. He relinquished his grip quickly, but reluctantly, his hands sitting awkwardly on the table.

 

“So now you know everything.” Sasuke sighed, sinking back into the high-backed chair, rubbing his face dry. “Jesus, that was exhausting.”

 

“Yeah,” Naruto agreed, suddenly feeling very tired; however, it may have been the alcohol. “That must have taken a lot, Sasuke. I… appreciate it. Honestly, not knowing all this time, it’s been killing me.”

 

Sasuke rubbed his brow, closing his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Naruto. About that night, about everything. I was so convinced I was doing the right thing. Now look at us: drunk in the middle of the day.”

 

Naruto winced, suddenly aware of how drunk he was. “So,” he started, shaking his head very slightly to try and concentrate. “Now that it’s all out… how do you feel?”

 

Sasuke thought for a second, before simply answering. “Tired.”

 

“Still not sleeping well?”

 

“Not really. Caught a few odd hours, but I’ve been… well, I’ve been having nightmares.”

 

Naruto nodded. “Right, here’s what we’re gonna do: we’re gonna finish off these whiskies, then we’re gonna go to mine and just fucking sleep.”

 

Sasuke grabbed his half-empty glass, reaching for the bottle to top Naruto up. “That sounds amazing.”

 

Naruto forced himself to smile as he accepted the whisky, but he was starting to feel ill. He figured one more wouldn’t hurt.

 

He was very wrong.

 

That, coupled with all the tension that had just been released, was all that he’d needed to tip himself from ‘very drunk’ to ‘blackout drunk.’ Sasuke looked back at him as they climbed the stairs to the exit, frowning. “You’re completely wasted, aren’t you?”

 

Naruto was going to deny it, before realising it was futile. “Mhmm.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and continued out the door. “Come on loser, I’m getting us a taxi.”

 

“No, wait,” Naruto tried to catch up with his friend, but the ground seemed less than solid. “Look, I have a bus pass. See?” He proudly pulled it from his wallet and waved it in Sasuke’s face.

 

Sasuke smiled tolerantly at the hand. “That’s nice, but I’m paying.”

 

“Noo,” Naruto protested weakly, but he didn’t have the energy to complain. He just wanted to collapse. And maybe some chips.

 

It didn’t take them long to flag down a cab. They were on the cusp of rush hour, but managed not to get tangled on the congested streets; they were only going a little ways, after all. But the longer the journey went on, the more ill Naruto felt. He said as much to Sasuke, but the other man just patted his knee reassuringly.

 

After what seemed like a disproportionately long journey, they arrived at Naruto’s. Sasuke dealt with the fare, adding what Naruto thought was a very generous tip, and helped his friend up the two floors to his flat.

 

“How comes we never stay at yours?” Naruto slurred as he fell onto the couch, happily stretching out on the comfy material. Sasuke didn’t reply, just got him a glass of water. Naruto refused to take it at first, but Sasuke was extremely patient; it was obvious he had done this sort of thing a lot.

 

Naruto only got a few sips in before his mouth started feeling strange. Like it was too wet…

 

_Oh no._

Naruto struggled off the sofa, thrashing upright as he felt the viscera rise in his stomach. He just made it to the toilet, his body cramping as he threw up a mixture of whisky and vodka. Groaning, he wiped his mouth and laid his head on the seat, his mouth and throat burning. He heard Sasuke sigh from the other room, before coming to check on him.

 

Despite the door being open, he still knocked before coming in. After Naruto moaned what could have liberally interpreted as a yes, he wandered in, and sat on the floor next to him. He sat cross-legged, his jacket still on, leaning over to rub Naruto’s back.

 

“You okay?” He asked, smiling empathetically.

 

“No. Gonna die.” Naruto burped, head primed over the toilet again, just in case. When nothing came of it, he drew back and rested his cheek on the cool toilet once more. “How the fuck do you do it?”

 

Sasuke chuckled, closing his eyes in a long blink. “You’ve got to have a bit more experience if you’re gonna day drink with the best of us. The trick is not to let yourself get sober.” He got up briefly to get Naruto’s glass. “Here, drink up. Small sips, but I want you to finish it.”

 

Naruto grumbled slightly as he sat up, trying to wash away the taste of vomit. It was like trying to dam a flood with toothpicks.

 

“Can I get you anything?”

 

Naruto grinned drunkenly. “I reaaally want chips. Here,” he fumbled for money in his pocket, eventually pulling out a crumpled note and thrusting it at Sasuke. “There’s a chippy round the corner: Saeed does the _best_ fucking chips.”

 

“Naruto, I’m not getting you chips,” Sasuke replied evenly, ignoring the money Naruto was prodding him in the chest with. “You’ve just thrown up.”

 

“What?” Naruto groaned, dropping the money and slamming his head back down. Maybe a little too hard. He winced. “You’re no fun, Sasuke.”

 

“I’m not, no. But I know what I’m doing.”

 

“I’m gonna dieee.” Naruto repeated, drawing the word out.

 

Sasuke smiled, shaking his head. “Trust me, this is tame; you haven’t had to deal with a 200lb amateur wrestler in a ket-hole that’s convinced he’s died and is now a ghost. Seriously, he was convinced he could phase through objects. He’d just punched his way through the toilet door.”

 

Naruto sniggered before retching again, his stomach tensing so hard he got a leg cramp. He was then forced to stretch one leg out behind him while he was on all fours, puking his guts out. Sasuke fell back laughing at the sight, not even the least bit sympathetic.

 

As soon as his head was out of the toilet, he swatted at his friend, missing by quite a margin. “Shut up.” Draining the last of the glass, he presented it to Sasuke. “Okay, nurse, I’ve finished my water.”

 

Sasuke smirked, raising his eyebrows. “That’s a roleplay I haven’t done in a while. Who’d have thought that was your fetish, Naruto.”

 

Naruto swore at Sasuke as he grabbed the glass and stood up to refill it. As he did, a small notebook fell out an inside pocket of his jacket, Sasuke not noticing. As it bounced gently off the linoleum, Naruto couldn’t help but pick it up to have a look.

 

_I really shouldn’t: this could be private shit, he’ll be back any minute._

But Naruto heard Sasuke’s phone ring as he shut off the tap, and he chose to answer in the kitchen. “What is it? No, I’m not free tonight… well I don’t care what Jūgo said, I’m not there anymore…”

 

Naruto leafed through the compact but thick notebook, picking out a page at random. It seemed to be a journal, this particular entry dated a few months ago. Focusing hard until the words became less blurry, Naruto began reading.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

_I ended up spending the night at Suigetsu’s again. A few drinks down, he told me something pretty… interesting is one word, I guess. Fucked is another._

_After the whole debacle with the car, Suigetsu got some pretty harsh punishment. It was one of the few things that Orochimaru hadn’t told me. Can’t give me  a reason to distance myself from the organisation further. I think he can tell I’m drifting from him, almost ready to break out on my own._

_My original goal was to tear down Orochimaru: I was to destroy his gang, his labs, his whole lifestyle, and throw him to the sharks. I wanted to watch him get skinned alive. But now I’m wondering if it will be that easy. Orochimaru’s a snake, and he can certainly shed his skin. With him having been Akatsuki before they kicked him out, I don’t think destroying the organisation will be enough._

_To stop him, I might have to kill him. And, frankly, after what Suigetsu told me I want to._

_The day after we hooked up, Orochimaru had him jumped: five men, masked. I’d bet my left nut it was the Sound Four. They took him to one of Kabuto’s labs. He became the subject of numerous experiments; nonlethal, but extraordinarily painful. Kept him there for about a month before releasing him back into the workforce again with a threat: further disobedience would cost him his life. He told me it was just a matter of time before either he or I kill Orochimaru, and he was determined to get there first._

_And as much as I wish I could leave it to him, I don’t know if he’s got what it takes. Don’t get me wrong, Suigetsu’s a cold-hearted killer. But Orochimaru’s surrounded by security almost constantly. The only ones that get to see him alone are Kabuto and I. Not to mention that he’s proficient in firearms and hand-to-hand combat: I should know, he had me spar with him regularly, and he taught me everything I know about guns._

_I never wanted to kill anyone, save for one. I followed Itachi’s training so I would never be a victim again; so that I could find the ones that had killed my parents; so that I could once and for all protect those close to me. After I found out what Itachi was, that goal turned into revenge. I lived for it, breathed for it, and nothing else mattered._

_I still live for the day I wrap my hands around his bastard throat. And initially, destroying Orochimaru would just be a means to an end: he wouldn’t let his best man go without a fight. But now I find myself in the position where I can help other people and genuinely make a difference. I can kill one of the cancers that plague this city, so long as I abandon the only moral I’ve stayed true to this whole time._

_I need to think about this more._

_I bought a cheap notebook so I could scrawl any errant thoughts down and transfer them to my journal later. Suigetsu’s sleeping now, but I couldn’t settle down after he told me what he’d been through. Looking at him now, he seems so innocent: the snarky grin is gone, his face half buried in the pillow as he snores quite happily._

_He’s tangled himself in the thin sheet that we’ve taken to using when it gets too warm. Stops right at his waist: even in his sleep he’s a teasing fuck. On his stomach, arms thrown above his shoulders and under his head. Reminds me why I keep coming back for this. The position perfectly accentuates his swimmer’s form, both arm and back muscles thrown into sharp relief by his naturally skinny frame. His back slowly expanded and contracted, Suigetsu’s deep breathing shifting his visible ribs. I could just see his hips, looking like they were carved out of fucking iron; if I flipped him over I knew his chiselled obliques would form the perfect ‘V’ shape that many coveted. And I had it all to myself. For tonight anyway._

_Jūgo said to write about what was on my mind: at this particular moment, it seems to be fucking the ever-loving hell out of Suigetsu._

_After writing that little description I spent some time just admiring the form in front of me. I considered waking him up again, the display he was unintentionally giving having quite the effect on me. My appetite is, after all, insatiable. I could get the sheet down his legs without waking him, past that firm, toned ass. I could see how long it took him to wake up under my ministrations, my hands, my tongue, then…_

_As excited as the thought made me, I decided against it; It would be a shame to ruin what I understand is one of the few peaceful nights he’s had since Orochimaru’s experiments._

_My thoughts soured as they turned to that once more. It has become apparent that I had developed quite an attachment to Suigetsu, he and Jūgo being one of the few I could count as friends by this point. It won’t go beyond this: as outwardly attractive as I find him, Suigetsu unnerves me. He’s remorseless. I suppose that scares me the most because I can imagine myself turning into that if I’m not careful._

_My hair’s full of sweat. I think I might take a cold shower and try getting some sleep._

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto stared, stunned, at the page for a second or two longer. This wasn’t what he had expected at all. He tried to focus on what he’d said before, something about Orochimaru, but he found himself fixated on Sasuke’s description of Suigetsu. He kept reading it over again, thoughts of the two of them rising unbidden in his mind…

 

He needed to keep reading. He hurriedly turned the next page, the date somehow familiar to him. It didn’t take him long to realise why.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

_It finally happened. I was caught for so long between hoping it never did and praying it for it, at least once._

_I saw Naruto for the first time in three years._

_I was out, drinking after a job, when some meatheads next to me decide they’re gonna start arm-wrestling at the bar. That sort of machismo bullshit is annoying enough, but they managed to spill my drink. I demanded they replace it; they didn’t feel like honouring that. By this point security was on its way over, the three of them trying to get in my face. I wasn’t in the mood for a fight that night: I’ve been trying to quit this habit cold turkey, even though the last month hasn’t been going too well. I was perfectly content to let the bouncers take care of it._

_But I really hate the word faggot._

_My tolerance for bigots is always at its lowest when I drink. So I decide to teach them a sorely needed lesson, something they won’t ever forget. When we walk outside though, I begin to feel the craving hit me again: the thirst for pain, for that righteous self-loathing to be satisfied once more._

_I was weak. I gave in._

_So I let them have their fun, savouring the hurt. I couldn’t help it. In moments of lucidity I know that it’s wrong: it’s just an elaborate method of self-harm. Only difference is I’m far too proud to put a knife to skin myself. But it just feels like the right thing. Like I deserve punishment._

_So when I’m at the very edge, I finally start fighting back. I put my all into it. And I break them. I bask in it, in their fear and their reverence. All bow at the altar of your messiah, your judge, and pray that I don’t take your life._

_I’m out of control. And I love every second._

_But tonight was different. He shows up out of the blue to “rescue” me. He can’t have seen it was me from where he was: he must have thought he was helping some stranger._

_That was always like Naruto though. He’d help anyone that asked, no matter the consequences. And those that didn’t ask for it too._

_His form wasn’t too bad, considering it looked like he’d had quite a few drinks by this point. He separated me from the choke-hold the blond one had me in and finished them both off pretty quickly. Forgot about the one behind him, though: situational awareness never was Naruto’s thing. So this guy, big dude, manages to punch Naruto in the head. I was pretty worried, until I remembered his capacity for punishment. He had taken a lot worse than that._

_Hell, I had put him through a lot worse than that._

_I decided then was probably the time to intervene: I broke the big guy’s arm, and sent them the fuck out of there. I normally would have taken the time to exact a bit more pain from them, but being in front of Naruto made it all seem wrong somehow._

_It took him a second to realise it was me, but he had just taken a pretty big knock to the head. I wanted nothing more than to help him up, and tell him how good it was to see him. I wanted to apologise for everything that had happened. But I had to force myself to stay aloof, stay distant: I’d spent far too long building this facade to have it fall down around my head now._

_I lit a cigarette, trying desperately to stop my hands from shaking. Naruto was as shocked to see me as I was him, but he’d always worn his heart on his sleeve. First thing he tried to do was stop me bleeding. I hadn’t even noticed I’d been cut. It was exactly the sort of care he’d always shown._

_I could see that the years had done nothing to dampen Naruto’s kindness. Despite all I did to dissuade him from this course, he just ignored my efforts. It made me both happy and sad._

_I had to leave, to get out of there: I couldn’t let my life put Naruto’s in danger. I belonged to a different world now, one of unspeakable violence, a path I can only walk because I’ve abandoned my humanity._

_But Naruto reeled me back in. He asked me to go for a drink with him. My mind told me no, but every fibre of my body told me yes._

_As I said before, I’m weak._

_Naruto was maybe slightly taller, and he’d definitely filled out more. Even though he was wearing baggy clothes I found myself undressing him with my eyes, wondering just how much he’d filled out. It wasn’t the only time I caught myself doing it that night._

_As we made our way to a bar he fell in step beside me, doing that thing with his hands behind his head. I’d almost forgotten he did that: I told him he looked like an idiot, which wasn’t a lie, but it was rather endearing. In response he asked about the suit, told me I looked like a gangster. Although I didn’t find it particularly amusing at the time, I can’t say it wasn’t accurate._

_The chosen bar was a particular favourite of mine: the music was good, the people kind and the drinks cheap. It was the kind of place you went to avoid the sort of scum you usually find at other pubs and clubs. I came here when I wanted to just relax and enjoy a night, maybe pick someone up if we hit it off._

_It was busy, but where wasn’t on a Friday night? I almost held the door open for Naruto before remembering I had a role to play, letting it swing back on him. It was difficult, pretending I didn’t care. But I’ve a lot of time to practice._

_He seemed to find the clientele… interesting. It might have been the first proper rock bar he’d been to, the way he stared at some of them. We get to the bar, order drinks. He was so nervous. It was pretty cute. I almost told him how I felt then and there, but-_

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

 

Naruto jumped, dropping the notebook. He hadn’t even heard Sasuke finish his phone call, much less come back through. He had been completely absorbed by his journal.

 

His face shut down into that impassive mask as he squatted down and picked the notebook up, stuffing it back into his jacket. “That’s personal, Naruto. How much did you read?”

 

Naruto squirmed, feeling like he was kid again. “Not- not much. Just…” He paused, his drunk brain trying to construct a solution. “Just the night we met up again. The bit saying how much you… missed me.”

 

Sasuke sighed, looking at the floor, offering Naruto the glass of water. “Don’t do that again, Naruto. I mean it.” But when he looked up his features had softened slightly.

 

“I’m sorry.” Naruto dutifully took a sip of water, and neither of them knew what to say. “You write well. You should write a book.”

 

Sasuke smiled a little. “Thanks. But this is just for me. Lets me get things out of my head, onto paper.”

 

“Well if you ever want a gig, I know a guy,” Naruto grinned. “Jiraiya would snap that shit up, bet you anything.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Sasuke said, in a tone which suggested he would do no such thing. “Now come on, brush your teeth and we’ll get some sleep.”

 

Naruto nodded emphatically, managing to peel himself off the bathroom floor. He tottered through to the bedroom, pausing only to grab a bucket, just in case. He crawled slowly into bed, awkwardly kicking off his jeans as Sasuke stripped off in the background. The journal entries worried him, but he was beginning to forget why, losing the details as they slipped through his fingers like a half-remembered dream.

 

_I’ll worry about it in the morning. Till then…_

And he was out like a light.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto screwed his eyes up as he began the long climb back to consciousness. This was starting to become too familiar, he thought groggily as he slowly opened his eyes. He was in the bed, alone. Hadn’t Sasuke stayed the night? They’d come back from Banshee’s, and there was something about a notebook…

 

He wasn’t sure what had woken him at first, but soon the smell of cooking wafted into the room, something sweet. Sitting up slowly, he was surprised to find he wasn’t feeling too bad. He could tell he was dehydrated, his tongue like tarmac, but someone had left a glass of water on the bedside table. He grabbed it, fingers slippery on the beads of condensation, taking long, greedy gulps. It didn’t quite feel right – the inside of his mouth felt very acidic for whatever reason – but it was a start.

 

Carefully, he got to his feet, throwing on a dressing gown and padding through to the kitchen. Sasuke was at the stove, wearing only his trousers, slowly pouring some kind of batter on a sizzling pan. It because obvious it was pancakes; partly by the smell, but mostly by the big stack of them on a plate next to him.

 

Sasuke grinned as he entered, eyes not leaving the pan. “Morning dude. How’re you feeling?”

 

“Oh shit, we got the naked chef up in here,” Naruto replied with a yawn, Sasuke’s (lack of) attire not bothering him: he was probably just out the shower. “Honestly, I’m not terrible. Although I can’t remember shit.”

 

“Doesn’t surprise me, you were blackout drunk.” Sasuke frowned slightly as he concentrated on the pan in front of him, going at the edges with a spatula. “I don’t have to go through everything again, do I? About Itachi, I mean. That was emotionally exhausting enough the once. Don’t wanna have to do it again.”

 

Naruto took a seat, trying to dredge up some memories. “No, I remember that. I… I had no idea it was that bad. I’m sorry.” There was a slightly awkward pause. “It’s after the bar I don’t remember. We came home, and…”

 

“And you immediately threw up.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Yeah,” Sasuke grinned, delicately flipping the pancake. “Might explain why you aren’t dying, actually. Got it all out of your system.”

 

Naruto grunted an affirmation, sitting down at the counter. “Need a hand?”

 

“I’m almost done,” Sasuke said over his shoulder. “You had just enough stuff for pancakes.”

 

“I did?” Naruto asked, shrugging. “I usually buy the pre-mixed stuff.”

 

“Fucking heathen.”

 

Naruto smiled gently, rubbing his forehead. While Sasuke finished up breakfast, Naruto strained his mind for details. He vaguely remembered being in the bathroom. Sasuke dropped a notebook… like a journal or something. But the details were unclear. Something about it had bothered him, something big. But try as he might, he couldn’t bring it past that point.

 

Sasuke slid a plate of pancakes in front of him, searching around for cutlery before Naruto pointed out the right drawer. Thanking him for the meal, Naruto dug in: this is just what he needed.

 

“So you really don’t remember anything?” Sasuke asked between mouthfuls, slow and methodical as ever. He looked up for a second, but when Naruto met his eyes they returned to the plate.

 

“No,” Naruto replied truthfully. “I remember being in the bathroom, but not much more than that.”

 

Sasuke nodded, apparently satisfied. “Makes sense. When you get that drunk, your brain isn’t actually ‘recording’, as it were.”

 

It didn’t take long for Naruto to finish up, leaning back with a sigh. “Dude, thank you. That was so good.”

 

Sasuke waved it off, his mouth full. “I’ll teach you sometime.” He said after he’d swallowed. “Looks like you need to know how to cook some proper food.”

 

Naruto nodded, absent-mindedly checking his phone: his texts had blown up since last night, and a few missed calls too. He must have slept through them all. Sifting through them, he found a culprit: Hinata.

 

He went back to the start of their conversation from last night, one he couldn’t remember.

 

‘Hey Naruto, how’s it going?’

 

‘heeey! It’s gooood, dude! Out with Sasukee :)’

 

Naruto cringed, looking back over his drunk texting: this had been at 4 in the afternoon.

 

‘With Sasuke? Be careful, okay? Text me when you’re home.’

 

‘will do’

 

This was followed by a complete lack of communication on Naruto’s part. And _that_ was followed by messages from Hinata, more and more urgent, her usual punctuation and grammar going out the window. Several missed calls came next. He felt like a total ass as he scrolled through them, hastily typing a reply and letting her know he was okay.

 

But she wasn’t the only one: going out of that chat he discovered Sakura had also been trying to reach him.

 

‘You there, Naruto? Hinata says she’s worried about you. Let me know you’re good.’

 

Several missed calls later, and she wasn’t as friendly.

 

‘where the hell are you, jackass? We’re really worried. Call one of us. Now.’

 

Writing a similar response to her too, Naruto sighed and put down the phone, feeling bad that he’d worried his friends. He needed to be more careful next time, especially with Hinata: now she knew about Sasuke she’d been worrying constantly. Since the movie night she’d been texting him with increasing frequency, checking up on him more than usual.

 

“You okay?” Sasuke asked quietly, taking his plate.

 

“Cheers,” Naruto quickly replied, not wanting to ignore his friend’s actions. “Yeah, I’m good, just… worried someone is all.”

 

“Can’t imagine what that’s like,” Sasuke said dryly over his shoulder, depositing the plates in the sink.

 

Naruto half-smiled, getting up to shoo his friend away from the sink. “You’re not doing the washing up today. I mean it, Sasuke.”

 

He raised his hands and walked away, smiling wryly. “Yes sir.”

 

Sasuke disappeared into the bedroom as Naruto washed up, coming out in his shirt and jacket. Disappointed, Naruto shot a glance at him as he put the frying pan up to dry. “Leaving so soon?”

 

Sasuke chucked, checking his watch. “Naruto, it’s almost eight: I’m late enough as it is.”

 

Naruto suddenly felt bad as he was drying his hands. “Aw sorry man, I didn’t mean to make you late.”

 

“Hey, had to make sure you were at least half alive when I left. And you were right, the last time: they can manage okay without me for a few hours” Sasuke grinned, pausing to check his inside pocket for something. “Besides, you made me breakfast last time: it’s only right I do it today.”

 

“Fair enough,” Naruto conceded, letting his friend out. “Stay in touch, yeah?”

 

“Always,” Sasuke replied with a half-smile, before setting off down the stairs at his usual slow pace.

 

Naruto shut his door, jumping slightly as his phone buzzed with a message. It was Sakura.

 

‘Thank fuck for that. Arsehole. There was something Hinata said last night, it’s worrying me. Call me when you can. We need to talk.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for bearing with me while this chapter was finished - I had it almost done at the time of posting chapter 13, but it needed very heavy editing. Sasuke's journal entries were way too flowery; Sasuke is blunt and to the point, even with his writing.
> 
> Thank you once again for all your support, all the kind comments mean the world to me :) let me know what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has no idea if Hinata has told Sakura that he's back in touch with Sasuke, but that's not all he has to worry about.

The phone rang for all of two seconds before it connected. “Hey, Naruto.”

 

“Hey,” Naruto replied awkwardly, collapsing onto the couch. “How’s it going?”

 

“Better now that you’ve checked in. Idiot.” Sakura sighed, sounding tired. “Sorry, it’s been a long night: I was halfway through a shift when Hinata called me. I’m just home now.”

 

“I’m really sorry Sakura. I didn’t know how much I’d worry you guys. It was an… interesting night.”

 

“Afternoon, from what I hear.” Sakura corrected.

 

“Yeah…” Naruto trailed off, wincing at his own stupidity. The irony that he had said the same to Sasuke yesterday not lost on him, he braced himself for the worst. “You said you needed to talk?”

 

Sakura didn’t waste any time beating round the bush. “Hinata’s worried about you, Naruto. She says you’ve been really stressed out, and she doesn’t know if you’re coping.”

 

Naruto almost laughed. So Hinata hadn’t told her about Sasuke after all. It would have been a relief if he didn’t now have two people on his back. “Hinata’s sweet, but she doesn’t need to be so anxious. I’m okay.”

 

“She says you’ve been drinking a lot.”

 

“I’m just enjoying myself, Sakura.” Naruto immediately answered, but it gave him pause for thought. “I managed myself for twenty one years, I don’t need people to mother me now.”

 

“I know, but… look, Naruto, Hinata’s got your best interests at heart. You know she does.” Sakura sighed. “I guess it was a false alarm. But at the very least you owe her an apology.”

 

The whole exchange left Naruto with a bad taste in his mouth. It felt like he was manipulating her. “You’re right, I get why you were worried. And I appreciate it.” He tried to change the subject quickly. “How was nightshift?”

 

“Meh,” Sakura replied, sounding a bit more relaxed. “Same shit, different day. Literally, shit: I was helping the nurses this time.”

 

Naruto kept forgetting just how gritty Sakura’s job could be. “That’s lovely Sakura.”

 

“Actually there was one thing.” Her tone quickly became mischievous, and Naruto could practically hear her grin. “You wanna hear something really gross?”

 

“Oh God, what was it this time?” He knew that if an aspiring doctor thought something was off-putting, it was bound to be quite something.

 

“Had a patient come into A and E with extreme penile pain. Turns out he’d shoved exactly twenty three ball bearings up his urethra.”

 

Naruto was caught between a laugh and a groan, cringing as he tried not to imagine that particular sensation. “Up his- fuuuuck. Fuck no.”

 

“I know,” Sakura left, clearly relishing it.

 

“But why?” Naruto almost cried, still not sure if he was laughing or not.

 

“Apparently that’s what some people are into.”

 

“I could have done without knowing that,” Naruto wheezed as he physically doubled over.

 

Sakura laughed at his discomfort. “Hey, if I have to commit that to memory then so do you.”

 

It devolved into a catch-up after that, Naruto having to edit the parts involving Sasuke, or just missing them out completely. He still couldn’t shake the sense he was lying to her, even though she would be none the wiser. It might have been that there wasn’t much the two of them didn’t share; it was that type of friendship. Still, keeping Sasuke’s secrets was more important than how he felt about keeping them.

 

Half an hour later, and Sakura was cracking up as Naruto recounted the plot of Snowpiercer for her, complete with their commentary. “…and that’s the point where Kiba jumps up and yells ‘oh shit, Captain America was a polar bear all along!’”

 

Sakura actually snorted, sighing as she eventually calmed down. “Oh my God, Kiba’s so stupid.” It was more endearing than mean.

 

“We all lost our shit,” Naruto giggled.

 

“That means you’re all just as stupid.”

 

“Very likely.”

 

There was a second’s pause, Naruto hearing the phone shifting in Sakura’s hand. “Hey Naruto, I should probably get some more sleep: I’d just got in when you called, and I need a nap before my next shift.”

 

“Sure thing,” Naruto nodded, taking a second to realise how utterly useless the motion was. “It was great catching up with you, we need to keep this up.”

 

“I know, it’s getting harder and harder to find the time for stuff like this.” Sakura sighed, suddenly sounding weary beyond her years. “Is this what growing up is, Naruto?”

 

The thought made him pause for a moment, as he’d never felt particularly grown up. But that, he supposed, was part of the problem: compared to his friends, he felt like he wasn’t achieving anything.

 

Especially compared to Sasuke.

 

“If that’s the case, get me the fuck off this ride.” He answered eventually. “I’m not about that.”

 

Sakura chuckled gently, and it seemed like her spirits were lifted. “Thanks Naruto. I think I needed that. We’ll speak soon, okay?”

 

“Definitely,” Naruto smiled, hanging up as he heard the dial tone.

 

Still lying on his back, Naruto flipped through his phone, still warm from both his face and extended use. He brought up his messages, Hinata near the top. Sakura was right: he owed her a proper apology.

 

Much like the other day, he stared at their last few texts, unsure of what to type. He quickly decided that the best method would be to call her, like he had Sakura; he was much better at speaking than typing.

 

The phone rang out for half a minute before connecting. After several seconds of jarring thumps, Hinata quietly answered. “Hello?”

 

Her voice was slow and slurred, sounding like she’d just woken up. Naruto could have slapped himself: he’d forgotten how early it was. “Hey Hinata, it’s me. Did I wake you up?”

 

She groaned, Naruto realising after a second that she was stretching. “Mmm. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

 

Naruto winced, feeling even worse. “Was that my fault?”

 

“Would you believe me if I said it wasn’t?”

 

“I’m really, really sorry,” Naruto sighed. “I had no idea you’d be so worried.”

 

“If I didn’t worry there wouldn’t be much else for me to do.” Hinata sounded a bit more awake now. “I just thought…”

 

“I know. And I don’t blame you, I would have thought the same. Here, I wanna make it up to you.” Naruto tried to sound cheery. “Wanna grab some coffee? My treat.”

 

“It’s okay Naruto, there’s no need.” Hinata gently insisted.

 

“I’m not letting you say no,” Naruto smiled. “Besides, we haven’t spent much time together recently, just the two of us.”

 

“It has been a while,” Hinata agreed. “How about we make it coffee-lunch? I need some more sleep.”

 

“Deal. Starbucks, half twelve?”

 

“Sure. See you then.”

 

A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over Naruto as he put the phone down: he figured he could use a nap too. Separating himself from the couch with great difficulty, he stumbled through to his bed. The last thought that drifted through his head was how nice the sheets always smelt when Sasuke stayed over.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Hinata smiled as Naruto sighed and collapsed into the seat opposite with their coffee.

 

“Sure you don’t want a muffin too?” He asked, removing two large mugs, two steaming toasties and a solitary muffin from the tray.

 

Her smile became a good deal cheekier. “I’ll just have some of yours if I change my mind.”

 

Naruto shook his head, chucking deeply. “That used to annoy me so much.”

 

“That’s what made it so fun,” she replied, picking off a piece from the top and popping it in her mouth before she started on her toastie. “Thanks for all this. You didn’t have to.”

 

“I should be thanking you, Hinata. You’ve always got my back, and…” Naruto trailed off, not sure where he was going with this. “Well, thanks for still being there.”

 

“Through thick and thin Naruto, same as you are for me.” She took a long appreciative sip of her coffee. “Hmm, I needed this. So… are you allowed to tell me what happened last night?”

 

Naruto felt himself cringe slightly at the wording, but it wasn’t inaccurate. “I needed to talk to him about something, something… difficult. I had a few drinks before we met. Liquid courage, you know? A few turned into a lot.”

 

Hinata frowned, furrows creasing her smooth brow. “Look, I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

 

Naruto held up his hand through a mouthful of hot cheese and ham. “Sakura’s already mentioned it.” He said after swallowing.

 

She immediately blushed, looking down at her coffee. “I didn’t think she’d say anything…”

 

“Well you know what Sakura’s like,” Naruto laughed. “It’s okay: for a second I thought you’d told her about Sasuke.”

 

Hinata looked both offended and embarrassed. The combination was strangely endearing. “I wouldn’t do that to you, you know I wouldn’t.”

 

“That’s exactly why I trusted you with it.”

 

“And you were piss drunk.”

 

“And I was piss drunk.” Naruto nodded, smiling. But telling Hinata hadn’t been a mistake: it had felt instantly better when he’d first confided in her, but he shouldn’t go any further. For Sasuke’s privacy…

 

_Fuck it._

Naruto sighed and leaned forward, dropping his voice. “I know why Sasuke left.” Hinata seemed dumbstruck for a second as Naruto licked his lips nervously. “It was for us, all this time. Sasuke ran so we’d be safe.”

 

Trying not to get ahead of himself, Naruto paused and gathered his thoughts; finally telling someone was such a weight off his mind. “Hinata, what they said about Itachi was true. He killed their parents. Sasuke left so Itachi couldn’t hurt us too.”

 

Naruto revealed everything Sasuke had told him about his older brother, much to Hinata’s horror. “Sasuke was convinced Itachi would kill him right there and then,” Naruto continued, not far from the end. “But Itachi said he wasn’t worth it. Sasuke decided he had to distance himself from us in case Itachi tried to hurt us. He would disappear, as if he didn’t care anymore. But then I showed up.”

 

The strained silenced lasted a few seconds before Naruto felt he could go on. “He was gonna leave, and I just wanted to stop him, talk to him.”

 

“You don’t have to, Naruto.” Hinata interrupted softly, placing her hand on his good arm. “You’ve told me before. I know how difficult it is.”

 

Naruto took a big mouthful of coffee, trying once more to collect his thoughts. “No, I… I need to go through it again. Now that I have his side of the story too.”

 

He shook his head slowly. “So I arrive at Sasuke’s. I’d never seen him look like that. He was shaking. Sasuke doesn’t shake. He told me he needed to go, that he was leaving. I was in the doorway, and I wouldn’t let him past. I don’t remember who threw the first punch, but soon it was an all-out fight.”

 

Hinata had never heard this level of detail from him before, and she listened with rapt fascination. She didn’t let go of his arm.

 

“Sasuke managed to throw me over the couch, and he made a break for it. I followed, and we ended up fighting in the street. Sasuke needed me to stop, but I just kept getting up. He figures he needs to hurt me: something simple, easy to heal. Like a broken arm.” Naruto sighed, looking away. “It didn’t end up quite that simple.

 

“I’d always thought he was an absolute bastard for it.” He continued quietly, still not looking Hinata in the eye. “But he said leaving me there was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. He almost gave up, but compared to Itachi killing me…” Naruto shrugged. “It’s a no brainer when you think about it that way.”

 

“Oh my God,” Hinata eventually breathed, eyes watering. She quickly regained her composure. “You were right, Naruto. This does change things.”

 

Naruto sighed, draining the dregs of his still-warm coffee; he, like Hinata, had certainly needed it. “I’m really glad you see it that way.”

 

Hinata hummed in agreement, but didn’t seem entirely convinced. “I still don’t see why he had to hurt you,” she grumbled. “But I’ve no idea what I would have done in that situation. Jesus, poor Sasuke.”

 

“I know,” Naruto sighed again. “I’ve played it in my head a thousand times since it happened. But last night, it- it’s different now. I was so sure I’d done everything I could. Does this mean I’m in the wrong?”

 

“What makes you think that?” She frowned, putting down the mug.

 

“I shouldn’t have tried stopping him. I thought I understood what he was going through, but it turns out he was putting us all first.” Naruto ran a hand through his hair. “If I’d let him go he wouldn’t have had to do it.”

 

“You listen, Naruto,” Hinata almost growled, her demeanour suddenly fierce. “You did the best you could with what you had. And if Sasuke Uchiha had taken even a second to act like a rational human being neither of you would have this problem.”

 

Hinata seemed to snap out of it as suddenly as it had overcome her. “I’m sorry Naruto, that wasn’t fair on either of you.”

 

“No, I think that’s pretty accurate.” Naruto sat back in his chair, arms behind his head. “I’m not saying I agree with what Sasuke did. But you can do bad things for the right reasons: he wanted me to have no more interest in him. And if I was any smarter it might have worked.”

 

“I keep telling you Naruto, you’re not dumb. Just brave. Braver than anyone has any right being.”

 

“I think it’s two sides of the same coin to be honest,” Naruto smiled slightly.

 

“They _can_ be hard to tell apart sometimes…” Hinata’s own grin didn’t last. “This is big, Naruto. When are you gonna tell the others?”

 

Naruto hesitated, trying to word his thoughts in a way that didn’t sound mean. “Look Hinata, I don’t know if the others are ready for this. I mean you should hear how angry Sakura still is about it.”

 

“And if you think I’m not then you’re kidding yourself.” She replied coolly.

 

“I know, I know, but...” Naruto scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Would they really understand?”

 

He could see Hinata getting more and more frustrated with his protestations. “Naruto, you really need to start giving our friends some credit. I mean, if it weren’t for you being so drunk the other night I’d be none the wiser, would I?”

 

“Probably not, no.”

 

“And I can see how much keeping this to yourself is killing you.” Her voice stuttered somewhat, but her eyes retained their edge. “This isn’t good for either of you. I hate seeing you suffer, Naruto.”

 

He bit his lip. “I’ll talk to him. Okay?”

 

“Even just Sakura, or Shikamaru; they’d listen to you,” Hinata persisted.

 

“It’s not like I don’t want to. I just don’t wanna scare him away again.” He was finding it hard not to snap at her again. There was a pause, Hinata not sure what to say.

 

“It’s not all bad Hinata,” Naruto said quietly, breaking the silence. “It’s the best I’ve felt in a long time, actually. It’s like a part of me’s been missing, and it’s filled in whenever he’s around, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Hinata nearly whispered. “I think I know what you mean.”

 

“There’s just something about him, Hinata. I dunno.” Naruto rubbed his jaw, feeling slightly embarrassed. “He makes me wanna try new things too.”

 

“We all need people like that in our lives,” Hinata agreed. “Look, just promise me you’ll think about what I’ve said. And take care of yourself.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

“And for the love of God, try and chill out a bit.”

 

Naruto laughed and finished his coffee. “Yes ma’am. You’re getting as bad as Sakura.”

 

“Trust me, I’m worse.” She growled.

 

Naruto was more than a little scared by that.

 

They said their goodbyes outside Hinata’s flat, Naruto continuing on until he reached his. As promised, he thought about what she’d said. He could only ask Sasuke what he thought about meeting their old friends. He had to admit, he liked the idea.

 

And she was right about the effect it was having: the stress wasn’t good for him. His injury had been playing up too, plagued by cramps and chronic needling pain. It got this way whenever he was tense, or worried. As he made a token effort to rub the pain away, he remembered something Kiba had said. He’d dismissed it at the time, but…

 

_I was talking about trying new things, wasn’t I?_

He shook his head, smiling as he scrolled down to Kiba’s number on his phone.

 

_I mean what the hell, right?_

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

“Okay, so lock your lips round the end.” Kiba started, standing above a seated Naruto. At the mumbled complaint, he grimaced and added. “I know, sorry: my one’s a bit wide. Now when I say, suck. Relax, you’ll be fine.

 

Naruto didn’t have time to be nervous as Kiba started. “Okay, suck! Keep going… c’mon, harder! There we go! Now inhale.”

 

Naruto, lungs near empty, broke away from the bong and inhaled, the smoke hitting him hard. Thankfully he managed not to choke, coughing slightly after exhaling a thin stream of smoke into the dusky room.

 

“That’s my boy,” Kiba grinned, flipping his zippo closed and placing the bong reverently on the kitchen counter. Window open and a towel under the door, they’d closed themselves in to avoid having the whole flat stink of weed. The landlords had apparently ripped them a new one last time it had happened.

 

Kiba had seemed very enthusiastic when Naruto had called him, asking if he could wait a few days so Shino and Shikamaru were free as well. Naruto, of course, had agreed.

 

Kiba’s smile was more infectious than usual, and soon Naruto found himself beaming ear to ear. “This is cool,” he decided, nodding. “Yeah, it’s cool.”

 

“Here we go, one fucking hit and he thinks he’s Bob Marley.” Shino muttered, leaning against the wall, lighting up a joint – his preferred method of imbibing.

 

Shikamaru took his lips off the mouth of the bong as he exhaled, turning to Shino. Straddling a chair the wrong way round, elbows thrown over the back and chin leaning on his arms was one of Shikamaru’s default seating positions. For once his hair was down, bushy but pushed back from his brow and flowing down to his shoulder blades; he wore it up so often that Naruto had forgot it was that long.

 

“If I recall correctly Shino, you were about the same.” He smiled, passing the bong to Kiba.

 

Shino mumbled something inaudible in response, relighting the thin tube as it had immediately gone out.

 

“Rolling too tight again, Shino?” Kiba joined in the teasing as he connected his phone to a Bluetooth speaker. “You always choke it.”

 

“Better than your attempts, it’s like smoking a fucking sleeping bag.”

 

“So what changed your mind, Naruto?” Shikamaru asked, interrupting the two.

 

“Yeah,” Kiba agreed as he chose a song; heavy trap bass dominated the low end, and Naruto found himself nodding along to the chime-like melody and the singer’s rapping. Kiba mouthed along as he used the butt of his lighter to compress the crumbly herb into the bong’s intake, sprinkling some more on top. “Last time I remember you saying it wasn’t your bag.”

 

“Just decided I wanted to try it,” Naruto shrugged, feeling quite normal as the initial kick wore off. “I’ve been really stressed out, and I wanted to see if it would help. Arm’s been bothering me too.”

 

Shino nodded sympathetically. “I get that: even if I didn’t like smoking, it curbs the anxiety. Only reason I’d ever move to the states.”

 

Naruto always forgot about Shino’s health problems until he mentioned them, and that was rarely. When they were in high school it had been much worse: he’d frequently miss entire weeks, the bastard mix of depression and anxiety taking its toll.

 

From what Naruto had gathered he’d been on medication since leaving school, joining college to study animal biology with Kiba. He’d done well enough to get that degree; now he’d been accepted into university, doing Entomology.

 

Naruto found himself really enjoying the music: it wasn’t the sort of thing he usually listened to, but between the powerful bass and the lyrics (equal parts funny, horrifying and cutting), it was proving very catchy.

 

_‘They found me in a lab doing stem cell research, I was tryin’ to grow you some balls._

_The police came, but I explained ‘bout your bitching now they wanna pitch in and support the cause.’_

 

They all burst out laughing, Kiba forgetting what he was going to say. “What were we talking about again…? Oh yeah, a friend of mine says she uses for back pain,” Kiba contributed. “From, eh, y’know…” He then proceeded to crudely mime large breasts on his torso, raising his eyebrows.

 

Naruto giggled as Shikamaru lazily swatted him on the arm. Kiba grinned and grabbed the bong again, before passing it to Naruto. “Ah yes Shikamaru, I forgot how offended you can get. Except, you know, all the times you don’t. Must be your girlfriend’s influence.”

 

“Shikamaru’s got a girlfriend?” Naruto asked, trying to light the bong with Kiba’s zippo. He kept burning his fingers trying to angle it right.

 

“You fuck off,” Shikamaru started, pointing at Kiba. Passing his own lighter over to Naruto, he continued. “Use this one, it’s a clipper. Like most things in Kiba’s life, the zippo is form over function.”

 

“Damn dude, that’s cold. I’m hurt.” Kiba flicked an imaginary tear from his eye as he took his zippo back from Naruto, jumping up to sit on the kitchen counter.

 

Shikamaru was right – the thin shape of the clipper made it easier to light with his forefinger, the flame away from him, as opposed to the chunky metal lighter Kiba used. He tried following the instructions they’d given him without supervision. First, light and suck to get the water bubbling. Shikamaru had explained the science of it, and how cooling the smoke with the water provided a smoother and easier inhalation, but most of it was lost on Naruto. Then, after enough smoke had accumulated, inhale. This time, however, it caught the back of his throat. He pulled his mouth off the lip of the bong just in time, hacking his lungs out.

 

Kiba laughed, but patted him on the back. “Steady on Willie Nelson.”

 

Shikamaru smiled slightly, taking the bong and checking the intake. “Seriously though, you really don’t wanna cough into this. You’ll send all the weed flying.”

 

“Yeah, and I’d have you pick up each individual nugget and make you smoke them.” Kiba grinned. “And do you know the last time we mopped the floor?”

 

“Not in living memory.” Shino nodded sagely.

 

“The only reason you can’t remember is because you smoke so much.”

 

“We’re getting off topic,” Naruto wheezed, trying to recover before Kiba and Shino started bickering again. His throat felt like sandpaper. “Shikamaru’s got a girlfriend?”

 

Shikamaru sighed as Kiba cracked up again. Shino smirked a bit, but said nothing as he took another puff. “I don’t have a girlfriend Naruto, Kiba’s just being a prick.”

 

“Then why have you been spending so much time with Temari, hmm?” Kiba teased.

 

“We’re both doing Psychology, we’re bound to end up working together. Can I not have female friends without you assuming we’re banging?”

 

“Of course not,” Kiba dissented, holding up his hands. “But everyone can see how the two of you are together.”

 

“Wait, Temari’s back?” Naruto asked, cutting off Shikamaru’s reply. The name, and others associated with it, dredged up a lot of memories; not all of them were good.

 

“She’s doing her PhD over here,” Shikamaru quickly replied, before Kiba could. “Decided she hadn’t quite had enough of the good weather.”

 

As if to punctuate his sarcasm, tree branches clattered against the open window, driven by a hard wind; the weather had been getting steadily worse, signifying the imminent arrival of a bitter winter.

 

“And Gaara? Kankuro?” Naruto followed up.

 

“Too busy with work: Gaara’s joined Kankuro in the police.”

 

Naruto was stunned for a second, before erupting into a massive smile. “That’s awesome! I told him he’d be good at that. He must be so pissed off, having to serve under his big brother.”

 

“It’s the other way round, actually.” Shikamaru commented absent-mindedly as he emptied the burnt, blackened weed out the intake and replaced it. “They’re fast-tracking him, according to Temari. She reckons he’ll make detective by the end of the year.” He paused for a second, like he was trying to remember something. “At least, whatever the Syrian equivalent of a detective is.”

 

Naruto’s jaw almost hit his knees. “Detective? Already? It’s only been what, three years?”

 

Shikamaru shrugged as he blew smoke out of the window. “He must be pretty good at it.”

 

“I wouldn’t trust that psycho to run a bath, never mind a murder investigation.” Kiba muttered.

 

“That’s not fair Kiba,” Naruto sighed, looking at his friend. “He had… problems.”

 

“Problems is an understatement,” Kiba snorted. “Dude was full-on crazy. It took both you and Sasuke to stop him killing Lee.”

 

“That’s- that’s an exaggeration.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“Right guys, enough.” Shikamaru intervened before it got any worse. “Kiba, Naruto’s supposed to be here to relax.”

 

Kiba mumbled an apology, Naruto doing likewise. Unbeknownst to him, however, Kiba had touched a nerve.

 

When Gaara and his siblings had first arrived at their school as foreign exchange students, Naruto couldn’t stand them. Temari and Kankuro had been arrogant, and Gaara… he’d been downright sadistic. Scary, even. And then there was the issue with Lee.

 

Lee was a strange guy. Harmless, and even lovable, but still strange. He had the habit of unintentionally rubbing people the wrong way; unfortunately he’d managed to piss off Gaara that lunchtime.

 

They hadn’t seen what had started it, but when a chair flew across the room Sasuke and Naruto had immediately run over to see what was happening. Lee’s nose was very obviously broken, blood streaming down his chin, but he’d managed to get a table between himself and Gaara. For a second it worked, until Gaara launched himself straight over it and on to Lee.

 

Without pause, Naruto and Sasuke had grabbed either side of the boy and hauled him off Lee. Gaara immediately threw Sasuke off, but Naruto held on for dear life, barely managing to pin an arm behind his back. It wasn’t long before teachers showed up and separated them, dragging them out the cafeteria; it took four to restrain Gaara.

 

Naruto and Gaara were deposited outside the Headmaster’s office, Sasuke and Lee taken to the nurse; Lee was a mess, and Sasuke had a nasty gash on his head. He insisted he was fine, of course, but Naruto was still worried.

 

The two had a long wait ahead of them: Naruto had been sent to the Headmaster’s enough times to know he always took a full lunch break. For the first fifteen minutes, neither of them said anything. But when Naruto calmed down, he tried engaging the sullen boy in front of him. After all, it was very clear the kid had issues.

 

For a while Gaara said nothing. But soon enough, the more Naruto talked the more Gaara seemed to listen. When he mentioned his own anger problems, that was the straw that broke the metaphorical back: Gaara just poured his heart out. From his father’s abuse to the loneliness, Naruto found himself empathising with Gaara more and more.

 

But, most importantly, he was the only other person Naruto had met with the same condition as him: Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

 

And in that moment of understanding, Naruto had felt incredibly lucky. It had taken him a while to get there, but he had people he could trust: Iruka, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Sakura, Sasuke… they were all there for him. Gaara had no one.

 

By the time the Headmaster had arrived they’d put all their previous issues to bed, and were exchanging techniques to manage the outbursts. After that, things had gone a lot smoother: the last few weeks of their stay, Gaara and Naruto spent a lot of time together. Even Temari and Kankuro seemed to come out of their shells a bit.

 

When they left, Gaara seemed like a completely different person. Most people had gratefully accepted his apologies, save for the odd few like Sasuke and Kiba. Naruto figured that if Lee of all people could forgive Gaara (the incident earning him the nickname ‘Rock Lee’ for how well he took a punch) the others could too; some proved to be just too stubborn.

 

The fact that Gaara had done so well for himself made Naruto happy, but it was tinged with bitter jealousy. Once again, he felt so far behind.

 

“I wanted to join the police at one point,” Naruto thought aloud as he reached for the bong again.

 

“Yeah?” Shikamaru asked. “What happened?”

 

“I don’t know,” Naruto replied honestly. “I just didn’t really go for it. Then my arm, and I started working…. It kinda fell to the wayside.”

 

Kiba nodded. “I feel that: I wanted to be a dog when I was younger.”

 

As if he’d heard his master, Akamaru starting pawing at the kitchen door, whining. Naruto tried to stop laughing so he could take another hit, but as soon as he managed to get over it one of the others set him off again.

 

“You’re not getting high with us, Akamaru.” Shino yelled.

 

Naruto had to put the bong down, he was giggling so hard.

 

Kiba sighed and hopped off the counter, kicking the towel away from the door. “He just wants attention, two seconds.”

 

Naruto eventually got the bong lit, successfully filling his lungs this time. He tried not to grin as he steadily exhaled.

 

Shikamaru nodded as he took it. “You’re getting the hang of it. Best to give it a few minutes now, don’t want to take too much at once.” He shot a glance at the kitchen door, then back at Naruto. “Look, don’t mind Kiba, okay? He only holds a grudge ‘cause he cares.”

 

Naruto nodded silently, not wanting to get into it. However it was quickly forgotten as Kiba came back through, his black band t-shirt covered in white dog hair, brandishing snacks. Throwing a bag of tortilla chips at Shino – who had to quickly stick the joint in his mouth to catch it – he popped the lid off a jar of dip and jumped up to sit on the counter once again.

 

Naruto was starting to feel the effects; his mouth now defaulted to a smile without him trying, and he was eyeing the food hungrily. And, like Kiba had said, it was certainly calming. He found himself taking long, relaxed breaths, his blinking slow. As Shino ripped the bag open and passed it round, Naruto took a big handful before realising he was more thirsty than hungry.

 

“Hey guys, any chance of a…” Naruto briefly forgot about the word for drink and mimed a chugging motion, crisps spilling all over his lap.

 

“Got you covered dude,” Kiba grinned, opening the fridge from his perch on the counter. He pulled a few beers out, passing them to Shikamaru and Shino. Turning to Naruto he asked. “Coke or Irn Bru?”

 

“How come I don’t get any beer?” Naruto asked through a mouthful of tortilla chips.

 

Shino cracked open his own can. “Because you want to get used to being high first. Alcohol can make it… weird.”

 

“Yeah, one of the first times I got Indica – tends to be a stronger strain – I had a bit too much vodka as well.” Kiba scratched his jaw, an awkward half-smile on his face. “Next thing I know I’m freaking out because I think I’m a marshmallow. Whitied so hard I pissed myself a little.”

 

They all lost their shit, except Shino. “Yeah, laugh it up: you didn’t have to clean him up afterwards.”

 

“You know most people wouldn’t tell that story, Kiba.” Naruto giggled, accepting a can from him. “They might even be embarrassed.”

 

“What can I say? I’m shameless.” Kiba grinned as he levered himself onto the counter again, opening the chocolate digestives once more. “Punchline before dignity.”

 

“Dignity’s a concept you’ve only heard about.” Shikamaru smiled, reaching for the bong again. When Naruto held his hand out after him, Shikamaru shook his head. Holding up a finger, he kept the smoke in his lungs for a second or two before blowing it out towards the window. “A few more minutes yet. As per usual, Kiba’s a cautionary tale: you don’t wanna go overboard. Have a bad one and there’s nothing to do but ride it out.”

 

Naruto tried not to feel as if they were treating him like a child, grabbing a few more tortilla chips. There was a lull in the conversation, Kiba contentedly munching on biscuits until he sat up suddenly. Naruto and Shikamaru looked on as his eyes darted between the dip in Naruto’s hands to the digestives and back.

 

Shikamaru was only able to say “Don’t-” before Kiba dunked a chocolate biscuit into the cheese dip. Naruto laughed as Shino and Shikamaru looked on disdainfully, as if this was a common occurrence.

 

“Every time,” Shino sighed. “Every single time he does something like this.”

 

“Tastes like cheesecake,” Kiba said proudly through a full mouth.

 

“You’re disgusting, Kiba.” Shikamaru replied flatly, not looking up from his phone.

 

“I dunno man, I think I’ll indulge him.” Naruto smiled, leaning forward as Kiba thrust the biscuits at him eagerly. He chewed on the strange mixture, deciding that although the texture was off-putting, he quite liked the taste. He nodded, jaw still working. “Mhmm. Cheesecake.”

 

“Yeah boy!” Kiba whooped, giggling.

 

Shikamaru shook his head. “I can’t believe you guys sometimes.”

 

Shino was more blunt. “You’re both monsters.”

 

They each took another few hits each, Naruto really feeling the high. It was more subtle than he thought it would be; Shikamaru had warned him it wasn’t always immediately obvious, which was why they’d made him pace himself. All of the stereotypes were present, like having the munchies and feeling spaced out. But that felt similar to being drunk, albeit with slightly more self-control.

 

What Naruto really noticed were the little things, like distortions in his vision. It only came into effect when he tried to concentrate on his phone, but it seemed like the world curved away at the edges, as if he were looking through a fisheye lens. But as soon as he looked up everything was fine again.

 

Eventually, when they judged they were high enough (Naruto taking Shikamaru’s word on it), they moved through to the living room. Naruto found his legs were very unstable, the others assuring him that this was normal. Akamaru barked happily and jumped off the couch, glad to be included again. Dropping down on his haunches. Naruto prepared to give the dog a big cuddle; what he wasn’t prepared for was Akamaru throwing himself bodily towards them, knocking Naruto over and licking him all over. Naruto was in hysterics as he stroked the mass of fluffiness assaulting him.

 

“Aww, did you miss us?” Kiba sat cross-legged on the floor beside Naruto, prompting Akamaru to jump towards him instead. Just as Naruto started to get up, the dog changed his mind and pounced on Naruto again. He was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe.

 

When Akamaru had been petted to his satisfaction they all collapsed into the sofas; the setup had returned to normal since their game night, the TV in a type of bureau against the back wall. It was quite a large room for a student flat, making it a good base of operations for the boys. The bad part was the area: their flat was out in the sticks, at the very edge of the city. With Hinata worrying about her deposit and Ino renting a glorified cupboard, they almost always got together at Naruto’s. It was nice to be invited out their way for a change.

 

Naruto sighed and settled back into the sofa, arms above his head. He was vaguely aware of Shikamaru next to him saying something, but it took him a second to register it.

 

“Naruto. Naruto! You’re on my hair.”

 

Kiba laughed and dropped the television remote as Naruto apologised, sitting up as Shikamaru brushed his long hair over to his side of the couch. “Perils of looking this good, I guess. It’s a pain.” Shikamaru sighed dramatically.

 

“You shouldn’t complain,” Shino grunted, running a hand through his bushy brown hair. “You could have a Jew-fro like me. Fucking hate it.”

 

“Wait, you’re Jewish?” Naruto asked, confused.

 

“Dad is. Figure of speech more than anything.”

 

“Why don’t you cut it then?” Kiba asked, trying to reach the remote without actually leaving the sofa. He decided to use his feet, tongue poking out his mouth slightly as he tried to grip it between his big toes.

 

“It looks worse short. Real rock and a hard place.” Shino replied offhandedly. After maybe half a minute of watching Kiba struggle, he sighed and just picked up the remote for him.

 

Shikamaru eyed Shino’s hair carefully, like he was thinking. “Hmm. Have you tried growing it out? Surely it’s got to reach some sort of critical mass.”

 

“Might give it a go.”

 

Kiba, remote now firmly in hand, turned on the TV and started channel-surfing. Naruto forgot that most of his friends actually owned a television licence; he found it to be too much of an expense, preferring to watch all his shows online. When he said as much Kiba snorted, commenting that he, the only one not at University, was more of a student than the rest of them.

 

He laughed with them, knowing Kiba wasn’t trying to be rude, but was still slightly insecure about his financial situation. He tried not to think about it too much, but he wasn’t sure where he’d be if it wasn’t for Jiraiya. But as Kiba’s search proved fruitful and they found some old Simpsons reruns, he settled into the sofa. All the other worries seemed to melt away as he just… relaxed.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Glass crunched under Naruto’s feet as he merrily wandered to the bus stop from Kiba’s. Usually he kept his guard up in the area: whilst not too bad in itself, it was a stone’s throw away from one of the more notorious parts of the city. But tonight he felt at ease. His legs had somewhat stabilised, but he was still feeling the drug in his system. The fisheye effect was even more pronounced now that he was outside, long sight lines curving in his peripheral vision as he checked his phone.

 

He grinned as he pulled up a text from Sasuke, previously unnoticed, asking if he was home.

 

‘Heading there now’

 

‘I’ll wait.’

 

Typing in his condition was strange – he was uncoordinated as if drunk, but felt more in control. He still made plenty of typos, but had the presence of mind to go back and fix them. His decision-making didn’t feel impaired either, just slightly impulsive. He errantly wondered what Sasuke had meant by ‘I’ll wait,’ but he decided not to worry about it as he stepped onto the bus, holding his pass up to the reader.

 

After what felt like a disproportionately short journey, Naruto thanked the driver and hopped off the bus. Pushing into the harsh wind he had to set his shoulders, but he still walked with a spring in his step.

 

He’d come down somewhat on the journey over: Shikamaru had explained how people with a faster metabolism would be high for a shorter time, and Naruto was fairly sure he burned quickly. He still felt very mellow however, and was taking more of an interest in the people and things around him.

 

But most importantly, the needling pain in his arm had settled down to a dull throb. In truth, he’d completely forgotten about it when he’d been at the boys’ flat; the pain had never quite gone away, but it was easier to ignore. So easy, in fact, that he only now noticed it.

 

He quickly checked inside his jacket pocket, but the hand-rolled tube was still there, relatively unharmed. Shino had given him a parting gift, a joint. ‘For the road,’ he’d said. Naruto considered lighting up – Shino had given him tips about smoking in public – but realised it was a moot point since he had no lighter.

 

That was until he noticed a certain stony-faced man sitting on his doorstep.

 

Sasuke, for once, had dressed for the weather: instead of his usual suit jacket, he’d opted for a mid-length, grey wool coat. With buttons running up both sides, shoulder flaps, a stiff collar and fastenings mid-forearm, it looked like a fairly expensive affair. It hung open over a purple shirt, so dark it was almost black, customarily half-unbuttoned. He took a drag on his cigarette, staring off into the distance; judging by the butts littered around his feet, he’d been there for a while.

 

“Hey man!” Naruto strolled up, throwing his arms out to his sides.

 

Sasuke, lips around his cigarette, tilted his chin up in greeting, blowing smoke out of his nose. “Took your time. I’ll be finished this in a second, then we can go inside.”

 

“Actually, you got a light?” Naruto asked, somewhat nervously. In truth he wanted to show off his new street cred to Sasuke, but didn’t want to be too obvious about it.

 

Sasuke frowned as he fished a lighter out of his inside breast pocket. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

 

“I, uh, I don’t.” Naruto quickly checked the alley that separated his tenement building from the next – all clear. “Come on.”

 

By the time they were in the alley, Sasuke had worked out what he meant. “Really, Naruto?” He asked, looking unimpressed. “Weed?”

 

“Mhmm.” Naruto nodded as he pulled out the joint, holding it out for Sasuke to light.

 

Sasuke didn’t move. “When did this start?”

 

“Only today. I mean if it was a regular thing I’d probably have a lighter by now.” Naruto realised he was rambling slightly, but the scrutiny of Sasuke’s gaze was extremely off-putting. “Hey, are you okay?”

 

Sasuke didn’t reply for a second. “You sure you know what you’re doing, Naruto?” He asked, looking from the joint back to Naruto.

 

“…Getting high?”

 

Sasuke sighed sharply, more of a grunt; evidently he didn’t find it funny. “Who’s genius idea was this? Kiba’s? Shikamaru’s?”

 

“Woah, Sasuke, what the hell?” Naruto was totally taken aback by his friend’s tone.

 

Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned against the alley wall, lighter still in one hand. “You shouldn’t mess about with this sort of stuff.”

 

“’This sort of stuff?’” Naruto parroted, not quite believing what he was hearing. “It’s only a bit of weed. No one here cares.”

 

“It’s not that simple, Naruto.” He gestured at the thin joint with his head. “Trust me on that.”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yes, really.” Sasuke was getting visibly frustrated, losing his usual cool. “You smoke a little bit. Have fun. Then it’s a little more, and a little more. Then every day’s an excuse to get high. I’ve seen people burn themselves out on this shit. And that’s not even counting the ones that moved on to harder stuff.”

 

Naruto felt like laughing, even though the situation wasn’t remotely appropriate for it: Sasuke was getting himself really worked up.

 

_Like you can talk, Sasuke Uchiha._

It took a quantifiable effort not to say this aloud.

 

“Look, Sasuke,” he started slowly, not sure if he should even say this to his friend. “I think you’re overreacting. Look, it’s fun, but… the main reason I tried was for pain.”

 

Sasuke said nothing, waiting for him to continue. He seemed to wear a more measured expression.

 

“I didn’t wanna make you feel guilty, Sasuke, but my arm… it’s still not right. Every so often the pain gets bad, and not much has seemed to work so far. You know what they say about weed and chronic pain.” Naruto shrugged. “It seems to do the trick.”

 

Sasuke didn’t meet his eye, rolling the lighter around his hand for a moment. Without looking up, he reached out and flicked the simple black lighter on, spark wheel catching gas and igniting. Naruto hesitated for a fraction of a second before leaning forward and made his first attempt to light up. He tried to mimic what Shino had done, sucking in to make sure it caught properly. Inhaling, he found it was much sharper than the bong, but not unpleasant.

 

Sasuke lit another cigarette, and for a while they smoked in silence. “Have you ever seen someone die, Naruto?” He eventually asked quietly, eyes far away.

 

His voice made Naruto shiver. “No,” he said cautiously, not sure where Sasuke was taking this.

 

“You saw Jūgo in Banshee’s, right?” Without waiting for an answer, he continued, slowly. “His father was ill. Very ill. Enough so that his immune system was non-existent. He needed constant care. Jūgo took it all on, just him. Sequestered himself away to play nurse to a dying man.”

 

Sasuke took another drag. “I get a call in the middle of the night: he’s caught a bad infection. Jūgo doesn’t know what to do. I take some of Orochimaru’s people, medical, and we arrive within the hour. It’s not good news. Hospital, drugs, it wouldn’t do anything for him. All we could do is make him comfortable.

 

“They leave. I stay. I couldn’t let Jūgo go through that alone. And he finally tells me what horrible thing happened to make his father into this husk of a man.” Sasuke finally looked at Naruto, eyes sharp. “Heroin.”

 

Naruto wasn’t sure what to say. Sasuke didn’t wait for him to come up with anything. “We sat there for seven hours while this man died. He woke up for the end. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything as his heart gave out. Jūgo said that he was finally at peace.” Sasuke snorted, shaking his head. “I looked into his eyes as he died. The man was terrified. Couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

 

“And that’s what turned me off drugs. The first man I watched die.” Without waiting for Naruto, he ground the half-finished cigarette under his heel and stalked out the alley.

 

He’d given Naruto a lot to think about. And a lot more to worry about.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto finished the rest of his joint in silence, surprised to find Sasuke still waiting at his doorstep.

 

“I thought you were long gone,” Naruto tried to sound as neutral as possible as he unlocked the front door, but couldn’t quite hide how relieved he was.

 

“I thought about it,” Sasuke admitted as they climbed the stairs. “But… you’re right. I’m overreacting.”

 

Naruto was glad he’d calmed down. “I’m not gonna turn into a coke fiend or anything.” He said gently. “Just a hit every so often. When my arm’s really bad, or I want to relax.”

 

Another silence. “How bad does it get?”

 

“Depends.” Naruto said, chucking his keys onto the breakfast bar as they entered his flat. “Most of the time, just twinges. Sometimes it can be like… like I’m being pricked by thousands of needles.”

 

He hung his jacket up on a coat hook and collapsed onto the sofa. Sasuke followed suit, more carefully perhaps, but still sinking into the cushioned surface.

 

“How bad is it now?” Sasuke asked, to Naruto’s right.

 

“Uncomfortable enough,” Naruto winced, arms behind his head. “The weed hasn’t really kicked in yet.”

 

“Right.” Sasuke nodded. Wordlessly, he gently took Naruto’s right arm, bringing it onto his lap. Naruto protested as his sleeve was rolled up, exposing the vivid scar, but it fell on deaf ears.

 

“Come on Sasuke, I-”

 

“Trust me.” Sasuke interjected quietly, but with enough gravitas that it immediately silenced him.

 

He traced a thin, delicate finger over the discoloured patch of skin, the half-feeling Naruto had in that region always making him uncomfortable. His surprisingly soft hand ran up the thick, knotted needlework that spread from each end of the skin graft, like a tendril growing from a plant.

 

Gently, like he was handling a baby bird, Sasuke placed his hands around Naruto’s forearm, thumbs gently massaging the scar tissue. He worked slowly, methodically, from end to end and back again. Flattening a palm over his skin, Sasuke used the heel of his large hands to massage deep into his arm, but not so hard that it hurt. He alternated between the two techniques, slow, deliberate movements.

 

Naruto was in heaven: after he got over to the profoundly wrong feeling of someone else touching his scars, it was the best it had felt in a few weeks. The combination of THC coursing  through his bloodstream and Sasuke’s hands made him melt into the couch, happy just to enjoy the feeling.

 

A few minutes later – or days, he could no longer tell – Sasuke put Naruto’s arm down, resting on his lap. “Is that better?”

 

“Holy shit, yeah,” Naruto grinned lazily, eyes still closed. “Magic hands, dude.”

 

“That’s what they tell me.”

 

“I don’t doubt it.”

 

“So,” Sasuke said, getting up and stretching. “You don’t have any plans for tonight, do you?”

 

“Apart from becoming one with my couch? No.”

 

“Great. You’ve got about two hours to sober up before we go out.” Sasuke walked slowly over to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and helping himself to some water. “We’ll have to swing past mine first, but we should have time to change.”

 

“Woah, hang on.” Naruto sat up, opening his eyes, slower than usual. “Before we go out where?”

 

Sasuke didn’t answer, instead pulling a card out of his breast pocket and handing it to Naruto. Looking it over incredulously, he asked. “An art exhibit?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got a plus one. Figured you’d like it.” Sasuke said casually.

 

“But I don’t know the first thing about art.”

 

“Neither do most of the people who go to these things.” He smiled. “Trust me, it’ll be fun.”

 

Naruto shrugged. “Sure, I’m in.”

 

“Great,” Sasuke rubbed his hands together. “I’ll go see if you’ve got anything appropriate to wear.”

 

Before Naruto could stop him, Sasuke had let himself into the bedroom, raking through his wardrobe. He thought he should probably get up and see what Sasuke was doing, but the couch was too damn comfy.

 

Sasuke shook his head grimly as he came back through. “None of those will do.”

 

“What? I have shirts.”

 

Sasuke ignored him. “You’re gonna have to borrow some stuff from me. We’re about the same height, should work.” He looked over at Naruto, appearing to have a second thought. “Oh, and have a shower. This isn’t the sort of thing you can show up at reeking of weed.”

 

“Yes boss,” Naruto threw out a dramatic salute, looking at the card again. “Man, this is gonna be different. Me, at an art exhibition? This Deidara guy isn’t gonna know what hit him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a few rewrites to absolutely nail it, so apologies for the waiting times again
> 
> I had lots of fun describing Naruto's first high though, and I enjoyed writing the interactions between him and the boys. It kinda ended up being a 'how to' for weed but I wanted to really capture Naruto's uncertainty with the whole process, and also describe it well for people who have never smoked; I didn't want it to be 'and then he smoked all the weed and was high' XD
> 
> As per usual, please drop me a comment - tell me what you liked, didn't like, critiques, anything and everything! Much love!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An art exhibit gives Naruto a more interesting evening than he bargained for.

The dark wood floor rapped smartly against their feet as they entered the flat, heavy door swinging closed noiselessly behind them. Polished to a natural sheen, the gnarls and knots almost black, they dimly reflected the light overhead. The spotlights’ matte black finish was reflected in the fixtures; the skirting, unmarred by scratches or scuffs; the light switches, elegantly simple dimmers; even the plug sockets were carefully brushed with the same tone.

 

Their footsteps muffled by socks as shoes were abandoned by the door, they walked down a short hallway which spread into an open plan lounge and kitchen. The enormous room lay in darkness, hallway light the only source of internal illumination. Soft lights twinkled over the far wall, their source not immediately apparent. It took a second to look to realise what was being seen.

 

The entire far wall was glass.

 

A view of their city expanded in front of them, the height of the building holding them high over the rooftops. The yellow sodium glow of streetlamps bathed the first few rows of houses, but closer to the centre the mixtures of electric reds, blues and greens became apparent. The sky was turning a dark, dusky orange as the sun set, with only the suggestion of sunlight peeking out from behind the horizon.

 

Sasuke chuckled slightly as Naruto slowly wandered into the dark room, eyes fixed on the beautiful skyline ahead of them. “It’s quite something, isn’t it?”

 

Naruto nodded mutely, jaw hanging slightly open. Walking past the large table in the middle of the room – single place set, chair facing away from the window – Naruto put his hand up to the glass and absorbed the view. This was, Naruto realised, a true penthouse suite.

 

The building was unassuming from the outside, in the middle of a half-constructed lot, all equipment and materials stacked neatly to one side. They were evidently wanting the approach to the building to seem luxurious, complete with grass; half of it was laid, the other half exposed dirt. It was obviously unfinished, but Sasuke had assured him it was fine: he was the building’s only occupant. Naruto had asked how that worked, but received no response. He was used to it by this point, and didn’t push further. He’d decided he needed to pick his battles when it came to his friend’s silence.

 

But from this far up he couldn’t see any of that, only the dusk skyline, hills and buildings of home. He was so enthralled by the window that he hadn’t so much as looked at the rest of the expansive room. Sasuke let him have his fill before slowly turning on the lights, sliding the dimmer switch halfway up. Suddenly Naruto could see his reflection overlaid on the landscape, and the spell was broken somewhat.

 

“This is…” Naruto started, not sure how to convey everything he was feeling.

 

Sasuke cracked a small, rare smile. “Pretty cool, huh?”

 

“That’s one way of putting it, yeah,” Naruto grinned over his shoulder.

 

Almost reluctantly he turned away from the wall to look at the rest of the flat. The wall to his right was also glass, turning the vista into a panorama. The open-plan kitchen was also on this side of the room, pristine white cabinets against the wall. There was no splashback to speak of, nothing but the empty void of the skyline above a black granite counter.

 

_How does he make his cornflakes in the morning without getting vertigo?_

In front of the cabinets was an island, the same glossy white as the cabinets. A deep sink was built into the counter, flowing seamlessly with the granite, a subtle shimmer in the black rock; a high-arching tap of brushed silver loomed above it, the curved neck giving way to an expensive-looking head.

 

But everything looked expensive: from the glass table in the middle of the room to the sofas and slightly curved television on the left.

 

“Take a seat,” Sasuke said, nodding towards the sofas, carefully hanging their jackets on a peg in the hallway.

 

Naruto padded through the living room, feeling small in the carnivorous room. Gingerly he sat on the edge of the sofa, feeling worried he might accidently break something. As Sasuke rummaged in one of the kitchen cupboards, Naruto took a look at the small coffee table between the identical couches, laid out in an L shape. Beside a whisky bottle – Auchentoshan, an odd thirteen year – were several books.

 

Picking up the topmost volume, Naruto now hefted a dense book entitled ‘Combatting Money Laundering and Terrorist Funding.’ Underneath was an even larger one, an obscure guide to criminal prosecuting. Both books had large quantities of post-it notes extruding from the sides, marking pages and sections. Flipping open the one in his hand, Naruto could barely make sense of this particular page.

 

His concentration was broken as two traditional whisky glasses were placed on the table in front of him; without shoes, Sasuke was even more silent than usual. Without asking, he poured two generous measures, half-filling the wide, bulbous bottom of the glass.

 

Naruto gently picked up his after putting the book down, turning it around in his hand. “Fancy.”

 

“A Glencairn,” Sasuke nodded. “Helps you smell better.”

 

Their glasses made a pleasant clinking noise as they toasted, Naruto delicately sampling the whisky. Sasuke was right: the narrow neck concentrated the smell around his nose, enhancing the taste.

 

They said nothing for a second or two as Sasuke sat, the silence uncomfortable. Naruto tapped on the first book on the pile. “You know I was joking with the Sun Tzu stuff.” He commented, absent-mindedly flipping it over to read the blurb.

 

“I’m trying to dismantle a criminal empire here,” Sasuke answered somewhat defensively. “What I can’t legalise, I need to sell. There’s still lots of bad money to go through the wringer. Need to be on top of it.”

 

“Sorry I asked,” Naruto muttered, before realising he hadn’t. He didn’t want to cause an argument: although he’d mostly sobered up in the two hours it had taken to pry him off the sofa and walk to Sasuke’s, the echo of the drug still remained in his system. He just felt incredibly mellow. And tired.

 

Stifling a yawn with the back of his hand, he gestured to his glass of whisky on the table. “Honestly, that’s probably not doing me any favours right now. Don’t suppose you have any coffee, do you?”

 

“Sorry, force of habit.” Sasuke scratched his jaw and motioned towards the kitchen with his drinking hand. “Cupboard nearest the fridge. Help yourself.”

 

Crouching down next to the monster black fridge-freezer in the very right corner of the room, Naruto opened the cabinet to find several brands of instant coffee in mostly-full bags. Selecting one of his favourites, Naruto filled the kettle and attempted to find a mug.

 

“I thought you didn’t like coffee?” Naruto called over the room as he opened yet another curiously barren cupboard.

 

“Left of that one. Yeah, there.” Sasuke directed him, seeing his search as he walked over. “And I don’t. Needs must.”

 

“That’s how it starts,” Naruto nodded. “Then – bam! You’re in Starbucks every other day for a caramel macchiato.”

 

Sasuke grunted his disapproval, placing his empty glass on the island. “I’m gonna get changed, then we can get your clothes sorted. Make yourself at home.”

 

Naruto spent a minute or two looking for sugar before giving it up as a bad job; it was as if the place was stocked with only the essentials. Except for the coffee, of course, which Naruto suspected was only in abundance because Sasuke wanted to sample his options. He was lucky there was a pint of milk in the fridge, as he’d never liked black coffee.

 

Sitting down once more with his steaming mug of caffeine, Naruto took a good look around the room. It wasn’t just the kitchen cupboards that were bare; the rest of the room didn’t hold much apart from the basics. In fact, the more Naruto paid attention to the details, the more the flat seemed like an empty shell: nails (in the walls that weren’t glass) and the slight rectangular discolouration told him that frames used to hang, at least for a little while; when he looked closely, he could make out cobwebs in the corners and a line of dust at the base of the T.V. Something even felt off about the sofas he was sitting on, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

 

Sasuke interrupted his thoughts once more, meandering back through as he finished knotting his tie. “What do you think?” He asked, spreading his arms slightly.

 

“Damn,” Naruto nodded. “Looking sharp.”

 

And it was genuine. Sasuke had picked out a trim grey suit, the same heather colour as the jacket he’d worn earlier. It started quite wide, accentuating his shoulders before tapering in at the waist. He wore a plain white shirt underneath, with tie and waistcoat a pale matching lavender. Where the suits Sasuke had worn before had been stylish, they were ultimately business-oriented; this one was purely for pleasure.

 

That half-smile told Naruto all he needed to know: Sasuke was well aware of how good he looked.

 

“Okay, your turn,” Sasuke said, spinning on his heel and motioning him to follow.

 

Grabbing his half-finished coffee, Naruto followed him out of the living room and took a left into the bedroom. The sheer sense of size was present here as well, with the high ceiling and minimal furnishing. The glass wall continued from the kitchen, and Naruto realised the whole corner of the building must be glass.

 

Softly closing the door behind him, he properly took in the room. To his right, in the corner, was a simple double bed. White sheets, low frame, and no headboard, but plain in a way that spoke volumes about how much it cost.

 

Along the left wall, separating this room from the kitchen, was an extensive built-in wardrobe. It seemed the whole wall housed sliding doors, their mirrored surface making the room seem even bigger that its already impressive size. Apart from a small bedside table, the room was otherwise bare.

 

“Here,” Sasuke started, pausing to pull open one of the wall cupboards, the sliding mirror creating a disorientating effect for a second. “I’ve had a few ideas. I usually keep a few things around in a bigger or smaller size, just in case. Actually on a smaller size right now.”

 

Naruto could see why: his friend was still looking rather gaunt.

 

“You’re definitely bigger in the neck than me.” Sasuke continued, glancing back for a second as he quickly appraised him. “And everywhere else, apparently. You’ve been bulking up.”

 

Naruto blushed, feeling a ridiculous surge of pride. “Thanks man, the extra training’s paying off.”

 

“I’m still taller though.”

 

“Fuck up, dude.”

 

Sasuke laughed softly through his nose as he grabbed a few dark shirts, handing them to Naruto. Coupled with a few pairs of formal trousers, the arrangement made Naruto feel like a human clothes rack.

 

“Okay, put these over on the bed.” Sasuke laid out a few more hastily retrieved shirts neatly on the duvet. “Strip.”

 

Naruto hesitated for a second; he’d never been the most confident in his body. He considered asking Sasuke to turn around, or even leave the room. But after all the times they’d shared a bed, he supposed he didn’t have much to hide from his friend. Unzipping his hoodie and pulling off the t-shirt underneath, he did his best to not feel self-conscious. But, try as he might, it still felt different from changing in front of his friends.

 

_Maybe it **is** because of Sasuke’s… preferences._

It wasn’t the first time he’d thought it, and every time it made him feel like crap.

 

Sasuke saw him hesitate. “Oh, sorry, I’ll get the blinds.” He promptly touched a small button next to the light switch and, with a mechanical whirr, hitherto unnoticed blinds descended from the ceiling, obscuring the wall.

 

For a second Naruto was impressed enough that he’d forgotten why he was embarrassed. “Yeah. Cheers.”

 

After kicking off his jeans, Naruto grabbed the nearest pair of trousers. As soon as he got them to his thighs he knew they weren’t going to fit. Sasuke shook his head and handed him another pair. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, awkwardly trying to get unravelled from his fabric prison. Sasuke was right: the change was gradual enough that he hadn’t noticed it, but he’d started to pack on muscle.

 

This pair of plain black trousers fit much better, but were still very constricting. “Got anything bigger?”

 

“Nope: you and your massive thighs are gonna have to deal.”

 

Naruto put a hand over his chest, gasping in mock offense. “Massive? You brute! How dare you?”

 

“Come on Cinderella, we still need to get you ready for the ball.” Sasuke replied dryly as he picked up a shirt. “Try this: I think the dark blue will work for you.”

 

It was indeed a nice colour, but didn’t quite button up fully. “I don’t think this is the look we want.” Naruto said as he checked his reflection, the button at his sternum straining. There is such a thing as ‘too tight’ Sasuke, you lil emo.”

 

“Ha ha,” Sasuke replied flatly, nonchalantly flipping Naruto off. “How about this?”

 

They went through a number of shirts, but none of them fully buttoned up to the neck; one came close, but Naruto decided he rather liked breathing.

 

“How about I just don’t wear a tie?” Naruto suggested, shrugging off yet another shirt and adding it to the ‘discard’ pile.

 

“Not that kind of gig I’m afraid,” Sasuke replied absent-mindedly, scratching the back of his head. “Hang on, I’ve got an idea.”

 

Going once more to the cupboard and back, Sasuke held a slightly odd shirt. It was a deep black, no lighter shades on the stitching to provide relief, the cuffs holding no buttons; it was obviously intended for cufflinks. What made it odd were the square metallic buttons and the lack of a proper collar, instead only small wingtips to hold the tie in place. As he threw it over his shoulders, Naruto realised the buttons were actually silver, cool and smooth against his fingertips.

 

“Jeez, where did you find this number?”

 

Sasuke smiled ruefully. “Honestly? Drunk order. I’ve still never worn it.”

 

Naruto hadn’t been particularly enthused by this odd shirt, but once he’d buttoned it up he began to rethink his position: it fit well on him, tight but flattering, and actually accommodated his neck.

 

“I’ve gotta say, that’s pretty good.” Naruto nodded approvingly, turning slightly in front of the mirror.

 

“That looks better on you than it does on me,” Sasuke grumbled, bending down to grab a tie. “This won’t be as much trouble: if I know you, you’ll jump on this.”

 

He’d picked an orange tie, bright, vibrant and unlike anything Naruto had seen Sasuke wear before. It had three bold, white lines cutting through the deep sea of persimmon, the two highest running side by side from the left down a diagonal. The last, just a hair thinner, cut the others parallel, running to the bottom left. Overall it created a slightly chaotic geometric feeling.

 

Naruto held it up for a second before cracking into a wide grin. “I fucking love it.”

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything, but Naruto swore he saw a faint smile for a fraction of a second.

 

Naruto frowned as he knotted the tie, trying to remember how: the last time he’d needed one was at school, and even then Naruto had almost never worn his. Eventually he had a lopsided knot. He was quite proud of himself until he looked up to see what could only be described as disgust written across Sasuke’s face.

 

“This is causing you physical pain, isn’t it?” Naruto laughed. “Are you gonna do my tie for me as well?”

 

“Nope,” Sasuke replied, untucking his own tie from his waistcoat. “I’ll teach you. Full Windsor or nothing.”

 

They lined up against the mirrors, and Sasuke went through the process step by step. Like the scant Japanese lessons that Naruto had insisted upon so long ago, Sasuke had a gentle, patient approach. It always surprised Naruto; it clashed with that usual surly disposition.

 

It took a good fifteen minutes, but eventually Naruto had the technique down. Another five on top of that to produce a tie Sasuke deemed acceptable, and Naruto was ready to go. He pivoted on his heel slightly, checking himself out in the mirror: the trousers were noticeably tight around his thighs and ass, but the outfit worked nicely. Accepting some square cufflinks that matched the shirt buttons, and the ensemble was complete.

 

“I can’t remember the last time I looked this good,” Naruto remarked absent-mindedly. “I gotta admit, you’ve got the whole ‘style’ thing down.”

 

“Something-something closet joke,” Sasuke replied dryly, tilting his head back as he checked the hard angle of his jaw.

 

Naruto snorted, shaking his head. “So when does this exhibition start?”

 

“Em,” – Sasuke glanced at his watch – “now.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fashionably late.” Sasuke fingered the lapel of his jacket, noticing Naruto’s lack of one. “No amount of squeezing will get those shoulders into one of my jackets.”

 

“I look fine without,” Naruto replied absent-mindedly, still checking out his reflection. “Honestly, I think we’re lucky to have got this far: we’d have been screwed if you hadn’t liked my shoes.”

 

“It’s not about me ‘liking’ them, it’s about what’s expected.” Sasuke grumbled as he turned from the mirror and padded back into the hallway.

 

“Since when do you care about anything like that?” Naruto asked, following him. That sort of talk went against everything Sasuke used to stand for. He decided to try play it off as a joke. “Don’t tell me you’ve sold out? Fifteen year-old ‘Edgy Sasuke’ would be so disappointed.”

 

Sasuke didn’t take the bait: if anything, he became more serious as he poured himself another whisky. “Naruto, when you’re in the line of work I am… I was in… you need to look the part. Complacency makes you a target.” His features softened slightly. “People haven’t forgotten who I am. If anything I’m even more high-profile. Think of it as camouflage. Like a second skin.”

 

Naruto nodded. “Yeah, I think I get it. You have to play the game.”

 

“Exactly. And since you’re with me, the same goes for you: I want everyone in that room to know you’re my equal.”

 

Naruto felt insanely proud when he heard that word. Equal. It was the thing he’d most wanted Sasuke to see him as for as long as he could remember.

 

“And you’ll look like a rent boy if you show up in your own clothes.” Sasuke downed his drink, leaving Naruto sputtering indignantly. “Come on, let’s make tracks.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

The venue ended up being a rather unassuming building in the centre of town. It looked like it could have been the modern office of a bank, or perhaps a law firm. Glass doors gave way to a simple lobby, Sasuke holding the door open and gesturing for Naruto to enter ahead of him.

 

“Are you sure it’s here?” Naruto asked, looking around the bare lobby; no one sat behind the polished wooden reception desk, and there were no indications an art exhibition was taking place.

 

“No, it’s here.” Sasuke murmured quietly, looking around. Just as he finished speaking, a set of elevator doors opened. There was no one inside.

 

Sasuke seemed to take it in his stride. “See?” He said, walking calmly into the elevator as though this was the most normal thing in the world.

 

Naruto nervously looked around the lobby once more, hovering by the door: he wasn’t particularly happy about this. “Are you sure? This whole thing seems really… I dunno man, it’s weird.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Deidara’s into theatrics. Someone’s monitoring the cameras there” – he nodded at one in the corner of the lobby – “and sent the lift manually.” He smiled assuredly. “Come on, it’ll be fine.”

 

Reluctantly, Naruto got in the lift. Nothing happened for a second, but then the doors slid shut and they were climbing. “This is the sort of shit that gets you fucked up by some sort of business ghost.” Naruto sighed.

 

“If it’s that type of situation you won’t see me for dust. I don’t fuck with that noise.” Sasuke cast a sidelong glance at Naruto. “The trick with Deidara is not letting him into your head. It’s like I said, all theatrics. Smoke and mirrors. You’ll understand when you meet him.”

 

Naruto nodded wordlessly, trying not to be so unnerved by the welcome they’d received. It didn’t work.

 

After what seemed like a disproportionately long elevator ride, they emerged into a dark expanse. It was a huge room, the only source of light provided by studio lights on large stands. They were all located in the centre of the room, focusing directional light into a kind of structure.

 

Without hesitation, Sasuke started walking across the hall, his footsteps echoing off the high ceiling; he wasn’t making any attempt to be quiet. Naruto followed more hesitantly, straining to make out just what sort of _thing_ they were heading towards. Shadows slid across its white, rectangular walls, seeming to come from inside. They swayed gently, as if moving to a melody only they could hear.

 

It wasn’t until he got much closer that Naruto realised the shadows weren’t moving: the walls were. It took him longer than he cared to admit, but he recognised it as some sort of heavy duty sheeting, thick plastic strips swaying slightly. Faint voices filtered through, but the majority was muffled. After a second Naruto figured out what it reminded him of: the thick plastic screens of a butcher’s shop. The thought made him shiver.

 

Without breaking his long, confident strides, Sasuke thrust one of the plastic slats aside and walked through, holding it up for Naruto. His own entrance was far less graceful than his friend’s, one of the slats falling across his face and obscuring his view. When he managed to get free, he found an entire room looking at him.

 

The inside of the structure was a room in its own right, larger than Naruto’s living room. Four walls of plastic slats hung from railings, boxing them in. Arranged a careful distance from any of the walls were canvasses and photos, some greyscale, some bright, bursting colours. The main event, as it were, was located in the centre, a large statue of a man carved from what looked like coloured glass.

 

The man was dressed in traditional beige samurai robes, made to look like they were flowing in the wind. He grasped a polearm, the butt of the staff resting on the ground and the blade up next to his head, where long black hair flowed down his shoulders. A great amount of detail had been put into the statue, each crease in the long robe lovingly rendered, the weapons on his belt intricate and realistic. The colouring seemed to clash slightly with the level of detail, semi-transparent and applied with artistic license: the messy colours overlapped slightly, or didn’t fill the space entirely. And there seemed to be something underneath it too, briefly glimpsed through the glass.

 

Most of the colours were muted earthy textures, save two bright splashes of purple, one on the robe’s belt and another on the face. The eyes, whites and all, were inked an opaque black, but two purple streaks ran like tears down the inside of the nose, contrasting sharply with the pale flesh. Naruto recognised the pattern, and his blood ran cold.

 

He knew that man.

 

“Ah, finally” A voice interjected from next to the statue. The man sounded young, with a certain energy to him. “I was beginning to think we’d have to start without you.”

 

The speaker was a young man, rather short when compared to others in attendance, his long blond hair pulled up in a ponytail. He cleared his throat, pushing a large fringe out of his face before his curled fingers came to rest at his chin. In the harsh stage lights, Naruto could very clearly see a mouth tattooed on the palm, all sharp teeth and tongue outstretched. The discomfort Naruto had felt upon recognising the statue turned into a full-blown panic.

 

He also knew the speaker: he’d turned up at Naruto’s door more than a month ago, pretending to be a police officer.

 

 “I apologise for our lateness, Deidara. Thank you for inviting me.” Sasuke nodded his head slightly, respectfully. Naruto vaguely registered that it was very formal for Sasuke, clinical even, but it was all lost in the panic.

 

_Something awful’s gonna happen._

Deidara smiled and bowed grandly. “You honour me with your presence. But enough pleasantries…” He turned slightly so he was addressing the room at large.

 

_Are any of these people really here for the art? Or is this just an elaborate trap?_

“Sasuke,” he whispered frantically, leaning in to his friend’s ear. “Sasuke, we need to go now. That’s one of the guys that was at my apartment, he’s one of them!”

 

Sasuke didn’t react immediately, didn’t move a muscle. Eyes glued to the statue, Naruto saw him sigh, shoulders shifting ever so slightly.

 

“Shit.”

 

Deidara paused for a second, picking up where he’d left off. “As some of you may know, I recently lost two colleagues of mine.” He gestured with a hand towards Sasuke, eyes lingering for just a second. “And, like anyone in my line of work, I chose to express that pain in my art.”

 

_Bullshit._

Naruto could hear exactly how insincere Deidara really was. His voice dripped with barely-contained glee, especially when he looked at Sasuke: it was like some sort of horrible private joke that only a select few understood. And judging from the set line of Sasuke’s jaw, he understood all too well.

 

“My regular critics will know that I’m not much of a man for statues, but considering the… situation… it seemed appropriate.”

 

Naruto directed his attention back to the statue. It was definitely supposed to be Orochimaru: from the statue’s pallor, the long black hair, to the distinctive makeup, there was no room for error. What was confusing him were the allegiances.

 

_Wasn’t Sasuke working for Orochimaru when Deidara and the other guy were after him?_

Naruto remembered Sasuke saying something about owing people money, and he’d believed it at the time; now he wasn’t so sure.

 

_What the fuck is happening?_

“But then again, if you’re familiar with my work you’ll know my ethos.” Deidara cleared his throat again, reaching into the pocket of his suit jacket – dark velvet with red trim – to pull out some sort of device. It was a black cylinder, about six inches in length, curving slightly into a handle where it rested in his hand.

 

His thumb stroked the top slightly, a grin spreading across his face. “Art,” he said, flicking the top off the device, revealing a red button underneath. “Is an explosion!”

 

His thumb descended on the button, and a second later a loud boom rang through the hall. Naruto felt it through his feet as he saw a flash from inside the statue itself, followed by the sound of crunching glass; everyone flinched, expecting thousands of deadly glass shards to burst from the warrior. All except Sasuke. And he was right not to. Nothing happened.

 

For a second the air was still, and no one breathed a word. Then, slowly, something began to drip down the statue’s chest. Thick, sluggish droplets of red ran down the warrior’s robe, spreading out under the ‘cloth’ before finding its way to the surface, vivid and crimson.

 

The statue was bleeding.

 

Everyone stared transfixed as the blood became a torrent. A dark pool began to form at its feet, dribbling over its sandals, but held back from the audience with a small raised lip on the ground. The grinding and cracking of glass continued, stress fractures webbing out into hairlines.

 

Then the statue shattered.

 

Bloody glass shards rained down in a controlled pattern, none of them gaining enough momentum to fall more than a few feet from the statue. This was obviously deliberate, and in a second Naruto saw why: there was another glass work under the first one.

 

It was the same man, the warrior, but a very different side to him. He was smaller, cheeks gaunt and expression pained, the flowing robes replaced with a hospital gown. It was open at the chest, a gory hole carved in the skin, full of shrapnel. This must have been where the explosion happened. Pieces of shrapnel had dug into the glass, cracking it, but it had held. The polearm he’d held shed from the statue, and he was left holding an IV bag on a stand. Blood still dripped down his chest and onto the floor, but slowly, accompanying the quiet tinkling of glass as the only sounds in the room.

 

Deidara let it hang quietly in the air for a second before bowing his head. “Thank you,” he said softly.

 

For a moment, the air was thick and silent. Then, sporadically, applause broke out, until the entire room was applauding vigorously. Naruto was reluctant to join in before Sasuke raised his hands and slowly, deliberately clapped. His eyes were locked with Deidara’s, the other man grinning widely, not breaking Sasuke’s gaze as he carefully placed the detonator back in his pocket.

 

Deidara coughed again. “Thank you, thank you everyone. The exhibition will stay open until everyone has had their fill: please, enjoy the rest of the works. There will be a limited bar operating courtesy of my assistant, free of charge. Thank you.”

 

 As the crowd dispersed from the statue, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed Sasuke’s arm. “Okay, that’s it over. Let’s get out of here.”

 

Sasuke didn’t move an inch. “We’re not leaving yet.”

 

Naruto was stunned. “But- did you listen to anything I just said? He’s one of them Sasuke, we need to go!”

 

“I know,” Sasuke said quietly, turning and trying to smile; the corner of his lip twitched slightly. “Come on, I’ll explain.”

 

Naruto hesitated for a second as Sasuke made for the nearest display: every fibre of his being was telling him to run, to get out of there as fast as possible. But, reluctantly, he forced himself to follow.

 

Naruto didn’t initially recognise what the first photograph was supposed to be: printed on glossy paper, a swirl of glaring whites against a blue background, fringed with red and orange. As he looked at it more, he realised it was a flame. For a moment he was distracted by the information card next to it, explaining how Deidara had helped develop a new type of thermal imaging camera with unprecedented resolution. He called it ‘The Purity Of Flame.’

 

“I owe you another apology,” Sasuke said quietly, eyes focused with laser intensity on the photograph. “Bringing you here wasn’t coincidental. These are the opening moves in a long game. And this one was supposed to protect you without you ever knowing. I’ll start at the beginning.”

 

Sasuke looked around quickly, turning so Deidara, on the other side of the room, was in his field of vision. “Deidara works for a rival gang. They were at odds with Orochimaru, so they sent people after me. And that night, they got close.” He shook his head, eyes still scanning the room. “I should never have put you in that kind of situation. I’m sorry.”

 

Naruto nodded: he’d heard Sasuke’s apologies for that night before, and as far as he was concerned they were unnecessary. He was curious, however, to see where this was going. And anxious too.

 

“Fast forward a bit, and I take Orochimaru out of the picture. Rivals are quite happy about this, all except Deidara. He wanted Orochimaru for himself. Apparently it goes way back; I don’t really care. Not about that anyway.” Sasuke scratched his jaw, carefully walking to the next canvas. He didn’t even glance at it. “I’ve heard that Deidara wants me. If he can’t get Orochimaru, I’m the next best thing to cut his teeth on.”

 

“So if you knew all this, why are you here?” Naruto just about whispered, trying not to show just how worried he was.

 

“Deidara’s not been quiet about his plans for me. And it’s not carelessness.” Sasuke’s voice was low, his eyes sharp. “He wants me to know I’m in his sights. He went out of his way to invite me here.”

 

Sasuke broke his concentration for just a second, looking Naruto in the eye. “It’s a test.”

 

“A test? Naruto echoed, confused.

 

“Yeah.” Sasuke’s eyes went back to the room. “Deidara likes to analyse people. Their personality, habits. Tonight will tell him a lot about me.”

 

They both fell silent as another guest approached the canvas they were at, moving on to the next one. “If I didn’t come, it could be interpreted as cowardice. And if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a coward.”

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “I don’t think anyone’s disputing that.” After Sasuke grunted noncommittally he continued. “So where do I fit in to this?”

 

Sasuke paused a beat before answering. “Deidara mentioned you.”

 

“Mentioned me? What did he say?”

 

The disapproval was apparent in his voice. “He told me to invite ‘the pretty blond twink.’”

 

Naruto felt himself turn a startling shade of red. “Why the fuck does everyone keep saying that?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Sasuke cut over him, sounding grim. “He could have written a sonnet about you and the implication would be the same. A threat.”

 

Naruto’s stomach dropped. “How do you know? You might be looking too much into it, I-”

 

“Naruto.” It was soft, but enough to completely stop Naruto in his tracks. After a second he continued. “Trust me. I know what he meant.”

 

Panic started gripping Naruto, constricting his lungs; he felt his breath getting fast, his mind working overtime. “Then why the fuck did you bring me here?” He whispered angrily, dropping his voice as a couple passed, linked at the arm. “If someone threatens me I need to know, asshole!”

 

“It’s not going to come to anything.” Sasuke replied firmly, breaking his gaze with the rest of the room to look at Naruto again. “Look, if Deidara knows even half of how much I care about you he’d expect me to hide you away somewhere. And believe me, I was tempted to.” He paused for a second, looking away again. “So I decided to do the last thing he’d expect, and make a play: I take you here. Deidara will draw one of two conclusions: either I don’t care about you, or I think you can take him. Either one will give me an advantage. Give _us_ an advantage.”

 

Naruto wasn’t sure what to say. A whole whirlwind of emotions ran through him. Dominating the landscape was fear, his heat pumping fast, veins electrified; yet despite all this, he still felt an unmistakable surge of happiness at the way Sasuke talked about him. It softened the hard anger inside, and he found himself empathising more and more with his friend.

 

_I mean what would I do if it were me? Damn it, I’m supposed to be angry at him!_

Eventually Naruto sighed, his eyes joining Sasuke’s as they swept the room. “Why didn’t you just tell me all this?”

 

“If it had gone right, you wouldn’t have needed to know at all.”

 

“That’s not the point and you know it.”

 

Sasuke finally broke the thin veneer of detached calm he’d been presenting. “What would you like me to say? ‘Hey Naruto, just letting you know that a rival gang member may have designs on your life. Brunch Thursday?’” He shot Naruto a withering glance. “I’m sure that would have gone over a storm.”

 

Seeing his friend crack, even just slightly, gave Naruto pause for thought. But he didn’t want to drop the issue. “I mean it Sasuke, you need to start trusting me with this.”

 

Sasuke was silent for a second or two. “We’ll talk about this later.”

 

Naruto wasn’t having it. We’ll talk about it now, damn it: I’m not gonna wait and- ahh!”

 

Before he could finish his thought, a hand descended on his shoulder out of nowhere, making him jump. Whipping his head around, he found a rather peculiar man standing at his side, one that hadn’t been there a second ago. He wore a simple tuxedo, giving him the appearance of a waiter, except for one odd detail: he wore an orange mask that covered his whole face. It only had one eyehole, on the right, and a spiralling pattern swirling out from it.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t interrupt you two, did I?” He had a surprisingly child-like voice, muffled by the mask. It put Naruto on edge, like nails down a chalkboard.

 

Sasuke, for just a fraction of a second, also seemed alarmed by the man. He quickly got it under control, his expression reverting to his usual stoicism. “Hello Tobi. I didn’t see you there. You’re not interrupting, no.”

 

“Just a lover’s tiff, eh?” Naruto could hear the grin in Tobi’s voice. He didn’t like it one bit.

 

“No, just a disagreement between friends,” Naruto replied, stressing the final word. He tried to hold a polite smile as he brushed Tobi’s hand off his shoulder, but it felt more like a grimace.

 

Naruto saw one eye blink behind the mask. “Oh, I hope you forgive me. For assuming.”

 

An uncomfortable silence passed, and suddenly Naruto didn’t know what to do with his hands. With a flourish, Tobi produced a notebook from his pocket, flipping the cover open and poising a pen at the top of a page.

 

“May I take your drink order? As Deidara said, we have a small bar: red and white wines are available, but I think we may have something more your speed, Sasuke. Would a dram of Macallan Gold interest you?”

 

Sasuke smiled slightly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s very considerate of you. I’ll take one. Naruto?”

 

“What? Oh yeah. Sure.” Naruto wasn’t too keen on drinking anything offered by the two men, but Sasuke had said to follow his lead: as angry as he was with him, he trusted Sasuke. He knew what he was doing.

 

_The prick._

“Excellent choice, sirs,” Tobi purred, jotting down their order. “I shall be back momentarily.”

 

Naruto got the distinct impression he was being toyed with.

 

Sasuke waiting until Tobi was out of earshot to let his easy smile drop. “Well that went about as well as expected.”

 

Naruto shivered slightly, feeling his muscles tense. “He gives me the creeps.”

 

“Glad I’m not the only one.”

 

Naruto sighed, taking a covert look around the room. “Should we really be drinking anything they give us?”

 

“I mean I wouldn’t drink Gold if I had a choice… but no. Not Deidara’s style,” Sasuke said offhandedly.

 

“And you’re sure about that?”

 

Sasuke cast him a sidelong glance, pausing before answering. “Take a good look at this place. What does it tell you about him?”

 

“He’s a psychopath that loves explosives.” Naruto said flippantly as they slowly rotated to the next canvas, a picture of an owl taking flight, avoiding the main crowd. “And owls apparently.”

 

“Think a little deeper than that.” Sasuke told him, but not unkindly. “What does it say about a man, putting on this pseudo-secret exhibition to celebrate himself?”

 

Naruto took a couple of seconds to try thinking from Sasuke’s perspective. “He’s vain.”

 

Sasuke briefly looked over the canvas. “Exactly. You see those guys with the notebooks?” He nodded discretely in their direction, the two men poring over one of the photos, pen in hand. “They’re real art critics. He could easily pay his way into this gig. But this is a man that needs to feel like he’s earned a real victory. Cheap wins are off the table for him.”

 

“He arranged all this just so he could figure you out?” Naruto asked, dumbfounded.

 

“Well, and to jerk himself off.”

 

Naruto snorted, and Sasuke even cracked a rare genuine grin. “We’ll get through this just fine. You with me?”

 

Naruto sighed again and grudgingly smiled. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I? I’m with you.”

 

“Good, cause that’s them heading over now.”

 

“What?!”

 

Following Sasuke’s eyes, Naruto saw the two of them making their way through the guests, Tobi with a tray held high, Deidara wearing a smirk.

 

“Okay Naruto, game face on. We’ve got this.” He briefly held Naruto’s arm; Naruto found the small gesture to be infinitely reassuring.

 

“Sasuke Uchiha! I’m so glad you came.” Deidara spread his arms in a welcoming gesture, but the smirk remained. “And if I’m not mistaken, you must be Naruto. We’ve been hearing a lot about you recently.”

 

“All good things, I hope.” Naruto replied coolly.

 

Deidara didn’t reply, but Naruto swore that taunting grin grew just a half-inch wider. “I hoped you’d both join me in a toast.” He raised his wine glass, dark red liquid sloshing up the sides before settling, leaving translucent veins behind. “To those we’ve lost.”

 

Sasuke looked down at the squat glass in his hand, swirling the contents around. “You know that’s not going to happen, Deidara.”

 

Deidara’s tone was that of a reproachful teacher with a particularly difficult student. “Now, now, Sasuke, no reason we can’t be civil.”

 

“I’m sure you can appreciate my feelings on the matter.” He made a great effort to sound bored, but when Sasuke finally looked up at the man opposite there was fire in his eyes.

 

“I thought you were all business, Sasuke. A ‘no hard feelings’ kinda guy.” Nevertheless, Deidara slowly lowered his glass

 

“You must have been misinformed.” Sasuke paused to take a drink. “Hard feelings are about the only kind I have these days.”

 

“I see,” Deidara replied, that sly grin never wavering. “Tobi, see to our other guests. I’ve a few things to discuss with Mr Uchiha.”

 

After Tobi skulked off to take orders, Deidara continued. “The first is a bit of a personal request. See, I’m a big fan of your work, Sasuke. Big fan. And I’ve heard that nothing gets past those eyes of yours. So I’ve got a wee challenge for you.” He gestured to the side with his wine glass, not breaking eye contact with Sasuke. “Tell me how you think the statue works.”

 

Sasuke didn’t answer for a second, eyes boring into Deidara’s. “I’ve a few theories.” After an expectant look from the man opposite him, he continued. “So the bomb explodes in the interior statue. Low yield fragmentation device. It doesn’t have to be powerful, in fact the opposite: I imagine a lot of time was spent testing tolerances, adjusted to the nth degree.”

 

Sasuke smiled slightly, taking another drink. “You also have a flair for the dramatic, it seems. Couldn’t resist amplifying the sound, could you?” He turned to Naruto, for all the world like he was having a normal conversation. “Something that small wouldn’t have sounded so huge. There must be speakers hidden around here somewhere.”

 

Deidara’s poker face wasn’t quite as good as Sasuke’s, and the smile slipped a bit. Sasuke took this as an indication to keep going. “Here’s my guess: the statue actually had three layers. The first is the final statue; the last is the external one. In between there was a thin, easily punctured tank of blood. That trickles down the inside, coming to the surface as the exterior cracks. And eventually, the outer layer shatters: just the right amount of pressure to break, but not after you make a big show of it.”

 

“So,” Sasuke concluded, raising an eyebrow. “How close was I?”

 

Deidara seemed to lose some of his original intensity as he leaned back slightly, nodding. “You’re as good as they say, Sasuke.”

 

“Perhaps. But maybe you aren’t.”

 

This seemed to be an unfamiliar concept to Deidara. “Beg pardon?”

 

“Maybe you aren’t as good as they say, Deidara.” Sasuke shrugged, looking over at the statue. “Maybe it was just a trick. I could think of a thousand ways to do the same thing with timed switches. One for the explosion; one for the blood release; one to break the glass. It’d be a damn sight easier than stress-testing glass.”

 

“A trick?” Deidara laughed humourlessly. “I’m one of the best artists this miserable place has ever seen. I don’t need tricks.”

 

“I’m sorry Deidara, did that touch a nerve?” Sasuke asked dryly. “Perhaps I’ll get a chance to see your work up close.”

 

The grin vanished. “Perhaps.” The two stared at each other for an icy moment that seemed to last an age.

 

Naruto was in awe watching Sasuke. He almost forgot about the imminent danger of the man across from him, absorbed by Sasuke’s words.

 

_This is how he does it. This is Sasuke playing the game._

 

Deidara quickly composed himself. “Mechanisms aside, what did you think of the theme?”

 

Sasuke turned slightly to face the canvas they were next to. “I think I prefer the owl, actually.”

 

“Was this a bit too much for you?”

 

“Not at all. I just seem to identify with this picture.”

 

“I’m sure.” Deidara paused while he, too, looked at the picture. “It does stick out in this gallery, I give you that. I waited hours each day to get that shot. I always loved the way they burst in action when they spot their prey. It almost explodes, really.”

 

_Any excuse to talk about himself. Sasuke definitely has the measure of this guy._

 

He touched a finger to his chin, clearing his throat. “So why do you feel a particular kinship with this work, Sasuke? Is it the power? The hunt? I’m sure you know the spiritual significance of owls in cultures all over the world. Omens of intelligence, wisdom. Bad luck. Which is it that Sasuke Uchiha sees in the owl?”

 

“Nothing so nuanced.” Sasuke answered dismissively. “I’m just used to being the predator as well.”

 

Silence followed the statement. Deidara did nothing for the longest time, before bursting out laughing. Turning to Naruto, he clapped him on the shoulder. “He’s quite something, isn’t he?”

 

Naruto wasn’t sure what to say. But Deidara wasn’t done with him.

 

“I must admit, Naruto, I am surprised to see you here.” His voice took on a teasing quality. “What’s a perfectly nice boy like you doing out with someone that tried to rob him?”

 

_Time to show him what you’re made of._

 

“I guess I’m not the only one that lied that night.” Naruto tried to put some steel in his voice, tapping into his anger.

 

“How so?”

 

“You’re not a cop.”

 

Deidara’s grin was back. “It could be my day job.”

 

“You should stick to it then.”

 

Deidara thought this was rather funny. “Where did you find him, Sasuke? You two are a match made in heaven. Just as bull-headed as each other.” He sighed, clearing his throat again. “As much as I’d love to stay, I must entertain my other patrons.”

 

“Yes, I’m sure we’ve taken enough of your time.” Sasuke replied evenly.

 

“Oh no, not nearly enough of it.” Deidara put a curled finger up to his lips, partially masking his mouth. “I look forward to our next meeting. You as well, Naruto: I think we’ll be seeing each other sooner than you think.”

 

Deidara walked away, the grin now spread across his face as he greeted the nearest guest.

 

Sasuke waited a second, staring at his back, before throwing back the rest of his whisky. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Sasuke’s keys rattled against the door as he pushed it open and entered the flat. Neatly unlacing his boots, he placed them side by side next to the door; Naruto followed, closing the door and kicking his shoes off without untying them. Sasuke didn’t say a word, padding through to the kitchen and undoing his tie. He’d been like that for most of the journey home. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t the easiest of silences either.

 

Collapsing onto the sofa, drink in one hand, Sasuke sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a second. Naruto joined him a bit more carefully, perching on the edge of the second sofa.

 

Sasuke, undone tie still around his neck, stared past the television out the window. Naruto found himself looking as well, captivated by the view. The sky was an inky black now, the last dregs of sunlight fading when they were out. The city lights stood in bold contrast now, a beautiful tableau of dancing colours and sparkling flares.

 

“I love the view here at night.” Sasuke said quietly.

 

“Hmm.” Naruto replied, not knowing what else to say.

 

There was another pause while Sasuke took a drink. “So let’s talk.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said we’d talk later, didn’t I? This is later.” Sasuke finally looked over at him, dark eyes inscrutable. “Let’s talk.”

 

Naruto took a moment to collect his thoughts. “Sasuke, this world of yours is terrifying. I mean it’s insane. If you’d told me a year ago I was gonna be personally targeted by not one but two of the city’s most hardened criminals, I’d have laughed in your face.” Naruto sighed, staring out along the glittering rooftops.  “But I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to have you back either. And I’m grateful for that. But you can’t keep me in the dark any more. Even if it’s ‘for my own good’ – like it or not, you’ve brought me into this. They know my name. Christ, they even know where I live!”

 

“That’s not strictly true.” Sasuke mused, his finger tapping on the side of his glass. On seeing Naruto’s annoyed glare, he seemed to realise his friend had misunderstood him. “Not about the trusting you part. I think we’re past that now. But I will say this: are you sure you want to know? Because you can’t un-hear this.”

 

“How many times do I have to say it?” Naruto said softly. “I need to know.”

 

“So you’d be okay knowing that someone tried to follow us home tonight? That I managed to lose them, but tomorrow there'll be another? And another?” Sasuke’s eyes probed Naruto’s. “Last chance.”

 

Naruto didn’t say anything, just resolutely stared down his friend.

 

Eventually Sasuke sighed, and leaned forward in his seat. “You said they know where you live. But there’s a few things we need to take into consideration. First of all, the organisation Deidara’s belongs to is a little different than most. They work in teams of two, but all act independently. They don’t always share information.”

 

Naruto nodded, trying to focus on every single word.

 

Sasuke placed his glass down, pushing his fingertips together. “I’ll have to verify this, but I don’t think Deidara will have told his associates. He wants to use you against me, and he can’t risk anyone else’s plans getting in the way of that.”

 

Naruto nodded slowly, thinking. “Okay. What about the other guy?”

 

Sasuke seemed confused. “Other guy?”

 

“Yeah, the one that was with Deidara at my flat. Short guy, red hair, looked really weird?”

 

“Oh. You mean Sasori.” Sasuke gave a dry chuckle, picking up his glass again. “We don’t need to worry about him.”

 

Naruto just raised his eyebrows blankly.

 

“Sasori’s dead.” He shrugged slightly. “Occupational hazard.”

 

“Right.” Naruto blinked, trying to realign his thoughts; his brain was running sluggishly after such a long day. “So how do we get rid of Deidara?”

 

Sasuke didn’t answer for a second. “That’s the part I’m working on.”

 

“Can’t you have them arrested? Like those Sound Four guys?”

 

“Unfortunately Deidara’s got a lot more influence. You probably think of the cops as the good guys, right?” Sasuke snorted, shaking his head. “Half the department’s taking bribes. Know the right people, and nothing sticks."

 

Naruto felt the panic rise once more. “So what are we gonna do?”

 

Sasuke didn’t seem worried. “The first thing you need to know is that nothing will happen immediately. I’m going to call in a few favours, see who else knows about you. Then we wait for Deidara to make the first move.”

 

“Wait for him to fucking Molotov my flat or something? You could practically see his hard-on when he was talking about bombs.” Naruto tried to calm himself down, focusing on his breathing. “This is nuts.”

 

“Naruto, look at me.” Sasuke leaned across the couch, putting his hand on Naruto’s knee. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? You’ve my word on that.”

 

The two locked eyes, and Naruto believed him: there was an urgency in his gaze, and for a second everything the world seemed like it was at peace.

 

“Deidara isn’t a common thug,” Sasuke continued. “He thinks things like that are above him. The first move he makes will be an opener. He wants this to last.”

 

Naruto nodded, taking a deep, calming breath. Sasuke was right: everything was going to be okay.

 

“If it would make you feel better…” Sasuke started somewhat awkwardly, trailing off for a second. “If you like you could stay here for a while. They don’t know about this place. You’d be totally safe.”

 

Naruto nodded again. “I think I’d like that.”

 

“Good.” Sasuke smiled and finished his drink. “I have some spare clothes for tonight, and tomorrow we can grab anything you need from yours.”

 

He got up and wandered across to the kitchen, depositing his glass next to the sink. “We should probably get some sleep. You’re welcome to share the bed, but I can give you some blankets for the couch if you’d prefer.”

 

“I’ll sleep with you. In your bed, I mean. If you’re sure you don’t mind.” Naruto half stammered as Sasuke tried to repress a grin. If he was honest with himself, he enjoyed sharing a bed with Sasuke. He always seemed to sleep better.

 

Pushing his hands into the leather sofa as he wearily got up, he followed his friend through to the bedroom. There was still something that Naruto found slightly odd about the flat, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. It was a niggling feeling at the back of his mind, but he couldn’t shake it.

 

The bed didn’t look like much, but Naruto groaned as he sank into the mattress. “Holy shit. What is this thing made of?”

 

“Memory foam, dude.” Sasuke said as he carefully climbed in. “I swear by it.”

 

“I can see why.” Naruto arched his back as he got comfortable. “Gotta get me one of these.”

 

As the two settled down, Sasuke reached over to hit the lights. The effect was almost immediate: Naruto found himself drifting off, warm and happy. But just before he succumbed to his fatigue, he figured out what had been bothering him.

 

The couch was leather.

 

_Why the fuck is that important?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! First of all I am so sorry this chapter took so long. There's a few reasons for this - I had exams, then a lot of work, and then research to do on this chapter. The idea of the statue too ages to put together cause I wanted it to be something Deidara would realistically make, but would also fuck with Sasuke.
> 
> Then the chapter went a completely different way than I planned it - Naruto was supposed to still be in the dark about a lot of the things Sasuke explained, but I realised that he wouldn't have accepted that. He isn't quite that stupid!
> 
> I like to think the time I spent on it was worth it ;)
> 
> Thanks to everyone that has commented so far, I really appreciate the encouragement, criticism and pure enthusiasm - makes me so happy that you're all enjoying it :) Let me know what you think of this chapter, and I'll try to get the next chapter up soon!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With more danger hovering over Naruto's head, it's time to lay low.

The rain slammed against the pavement in front of them, larger drips from the gutters, windowsills and shop-fronts sputtering down to their left. Naruto ducked into the next doorway, pulling a keyring from his pocket and trying to locate the appropriate one as fast as possible: the rain was soaking through the over-large hoodie Sasuke had let him borrow, the thin material not exactly waterproof. Eventually he staggered inside, Sasuke following slightly more gracefully.

 

“Jesus, we were only out for five minutes.” Naruto gasped, pushing his hood down. “I mean Deidara already knows where I live, did we have to get out the taxi early?”

 

“I told you, better safe than sorry.” Sasuke turned down the collar of his coat, running a hand through his rain-drenched hair before gesturing for Naruto to continue in.

 

It had, in a way, been the type of morning Naruto had become accustomed to with Sasuke: wake up late in the day, then potter about the flat until Sasuke had decided he’d had enough beauty sleep. Except this time they were in a penthouse suite of a half-constructed apartment building. Naruto wasn’t quite used to the luxury, but was determined to enjoy it to the fullest. After his shower in a full wet-room – with more settings than he had fingers – he decided to try and relax. So he settled himself on the couch with a steaming mug of coffee and a plate of toast, watching the grey skyline and the rain hammer against the giant windows. Even on such a horrible day, the view was spectacular.

 

When Sasuke finally woke he suggested that they go by Naruto’s flat to grab some clothes and toiletries, and the sooner the better. So within half an hour they were suited and booted, on their way to Naruto’s.

 

Naruto pushed open his front door and carefully stepped over a few letters before squatting to pick them up and throw them on the dining table. Trying to find a rucksack, he left Sasuke standing awkwardly in his living room as he collected an assortment of clothes, then his toothbrush and deodorant. He was about to zip up the bag when he caught sight of the Xbox by the television.

 

“Hey Sasuke,” Naruto said as he walked over and grabbed the machine. “How about we take this back to yours? I could get that rematch.”

 

Sasuke seemed slightly distracted, looking up into one of the ceiling’s corners. “Sure.”

 

With some clever rearrangement, the Xbox and several games were squeezed into the bag. Naruto made to leave, before remembering about the letters on his table. He quickly skimmed through them: bill, spam, spam…

 

But the last letter was blank. It was a satiny black, the quality of paper leagues above the others, and suspiciously heavy. He turned it over, curiosity getting the better of him as he slid it open. Inside was a simple card, white, the bare black font saying ‘Thank you.’ His fingers pulled the card open, but before he could read anything Sasuke’s voice interrupted him.

 

“Naruto, stop!”

 

In a second, Sasuke was by his side, his eyes alive and intense. “Did you open it?”

 

“Uh,” Naruto started, turning slightly so Sasuke could see the card, lying open in his hands. “Yeah?” Glancing back at the open card, short, elegant script lay across it.

 

_‘Naruto,_

_Thank you ever so much for your attendance last night. You will not be forgotten._

_Regards,_

_Deidara’_

Sasuke sighed deeply, hand coming up to his chin. “Well at least it didn’t blow up.”

 

“Blow up?” Naruto dropped the card on table as though stung. “What the fuck, dude?”

 

It wasn’t often Naruto saw Sasuke look embarrassed. “I’ve… I’ve seen things like that before. Just forget it.”

 

Naruto exhaled, long and slow, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. “Okay… okay.” Suddenly he couldn’t stand the sight of the letter: he grabbed it and forcefully shoved it, crumpled, in the bin.

 

The two stood awkwardly for a second, Naruto staring down at the bin. “Let’s go,” he said eventually, swinging the rucksack over his shoulders. Sasuke nodded silently and followed him out the door.

 

As they emerged into the hard rain, Sasuke leant into the doorway and cupped his hands around a cigarette, the warm glow of a lighter briefly illuminating his face.

 

Naruto flipped his hood up again, hands shoved deep into the pockets. “So what now?”

 

“Well…” Sasuke started, absent-mindedly taking a draw as he checked his phone. “We need to get some food in. Any good shops nearby?”

 

“Is that really a good idea?” Naruto asked, checking up and down the street; he was feeling thoroughly spooked after the letter incident. “Shouldn’t we just get back to yours?”

 

“We’re okay.” After a short pause he looked over at Naruto again. “Really, we’re okay. I’m sorry about… earlier. Overreacted.”

 

“We’re okay,” Naruto echoed, trying to believe it. “Okay, em… there’s a small shop close by.”

 

“That’ll do. Lead the way.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Sasuke flipped over the clear plastic packaging on the steak, inspecting it with his expert eye. After maybe twenty seconds or so he deemed it acceptable, and placed it into the trolley.

 

“Steak tonight then?” Naruto asked, practically drooling.

 

“Oh yeah. I’m thinking peppercorn sauce, chips?”

 

“Dude. Yes.”

 

They worked their way methodically through the shop, Sasuke picking up various ingredients; most of it was meat, fresh fruit and vegetables, spices, the very raw components of a meal. Naruto, having tasted his cooking, could tell he was very skilled in the kitchen. He even picked up potatoes instead of pre-cut chips, saying he’d do it all by hand.

 

Naruto, meanwhile, was on junk food duty: several bags of crisps, amongst other things, were thrown with reckless abandon into the trolley. Naruto followed as Sasuke made his way through the shop methodically. There was no back-and-forth, but a slow, systematic storming of each isle.

 

“Is there anything you like cooking?” Sasuke asked as he absent-mindedly opened a carton of eggs, checking them for cracks.

 

“Em…” Naruto paused for a second as he thought about it. “I dunno. I tried making proper ramen a few times, turned out okay.”

 

Sasuke gently placed the eggs in the trolley. “Can you remember what you need?”

 

“Aw no man, it’s crap compared to what you do in the kitchen.” Naruto bashfully waved the idea aside. “Seriously, I’m happy to pay for takeout.”

 

“Number one, you’re not paying for anything. No arguing.” A glance over his shoulder at Naruto punctuated his point. “And I can help if you like. So what do you need?”

 

Once they’d each picked up their respective ingredients, the two made their way to the checkout, Sasuke only pausing the peruse wine. Carefully selecting a red – and that was all Naruto could say with confidence – they started piling their things on the short conveyor belt. Sasuke arranged their shopping into neat stacks, and for the most part Naruto tried not to throw everything into a big pile like he usually did.

 

There was only one customer ahead of them, an older gentleman. Naruto hadn’t been paying much attention to him, until he suddenly raised his voice. “What do you mean? Just put it through!”

 

The cashier, a girl with startling blue hair, held a crinkled scrap of paper between her first two fingers. “This coupon expired in 2009.”

 

“So?”

 

The girl seemed like she was going to say something, but thought better of it. She tried explaining again, slowly. “If a coupon’s expired, you can’t use it.”

 

The man pursed his lips, but nevertheless dug an old leather wallet out of his pocket and threw down a note. The cashier made a point of sighing before she picked it up and rang it through.

 

“This is terrible customer service.” The man piped up again once he had his change. “I won’t ever be coming _here_ again.”

 

And with that he scooped up his bags and resolutely marched out the shop. The girl stared after him for a second, then shook her head. “Why do they always think that’s a threat?”

 

“Seems like more of a blessing if you ask me.” Sasuke said, smiling slightly.

 

The cashier then seemed to remember they were there, quickly picking up the closest thing on the belt. “I’d be so lucky. He’ll be back tomorrow. Would you like bags?”

 

“Please. Two should do it.” Naruto nodded.

 

Sasuke picked up the small talk as they packed, seeming for all the world like he was easy-going and friendly. But the brief glances Naruto got of his friend told him it didn’t quite reach his eyes. This, he realised, was an act perfected over many years.

 

Sasuke pulled out his wallet to pay, but Naruto interrupted. “Listen, Sasuke, I really don’t mind paying half.”

 

“Don’t be stupid. Drop it or I swear I’ll buy you a footstool to match that damn sofa.”

 

The girl smile slightly. “He’s a good date.”

 

“We’re not…” Naruto began before sighing. He continued in a dry monotone. “Yes. He’s my sugar daddy.”

 

“I’ll fucking buy a stool. Don’t tempt me.” Sasuke threatened as he handed over the money, pocketing the change.

 

Naruto grabbed the bag he packed, but he’d somewhat over-estimated how much he could fit into it: several smaller items fell out the top as the force from the handle squeezed the bag. He swore as most of them clattered onto the checkout, Sasuke expertly catching the one that made a further bid for freedom.

 

“I think we need another bag,” Sasuke said, pulling the change out his pocket again, but he was interrupted by the girl passing one over.

 

“Just take it. I probably wouldn’t blink if you burned this place to the ground.”

 

Naruto got quite a laugh from that as he transferred some items from the over encumbered bag to the new one, and the two finally set on their way.

 

“I’ve done some questionable jobs, but I think working retail would kill me.” Sasuke commented as they emerged into weak daylight; the weather was improving a little, the heavy rain of the morning turning into a wet mist.

 

Naruto hummed in agreement. “Yeah, Kiba works at one of the bigger shops. Some of his stories are nuts.” He paused a second, quickly glancing at Sasuke, who was scrolling through his phone. “It’s best straight from the horse’s mouth. Preferably over a drink.”

 

Sasuke grunted non-committedly, raising the phone halfway to his ear before stopping. “Fine with heading back now?” At Naruto’s nod, he pressed the phone to his ear.

 

After a short conversation, Sasuke scowled and lowered the phone. “There’s been an accident across town, some asshole crashed into a tram. Taxi’s gonna be at least half an hour.”

 

“I usually get the bus, this is business as usual.” Naruto looked down the street to a courtyard, flanked on all sides by pubs, restaurants and tiny shops. “We could get a seat down there, chill out for a bit? It’ll be fine if the weather holds.”

 

Sasuke shrugged, and they set off down the road. Soon enough they had wiped away the worst of the water on a nearby bench and sat down, bags of shopping neatly at their side.

 

Naruto sighed contentedly and threw his arms over the back of the bench: he couldn’t remember the last time he had just sat down in the city centre with nothing to do. As the sunlight began to filter through the clouds, the depressing mist seemed to lift slightly, and more people emerged from behind locked doors.

 

Naruto leaned forward and looked at Sasuke. “Wanna do something to pass the time?”

 

“What do you suggest, ‘I Spy?’”

 

He chose to ignore that particular barb. “Ever people-watched before?” He continued at Sasuke’s raised eyebrow. “Jiraiya and I do it sometimes, he says it’s a good writer’s exercise he picked up on. You just take someone, and…”

 

Naruto scanned the growing crowd, noticing a woman leaving a hotel to his right. She was hauling a big wheeled suitcase, trailing it behind her through deep puddles. “That woman, the one leaving the Apex. Long green jacket, you see her? Where’s she going in such a hurry?”

 

“Probably getting a train,” Sasuke answered, somewhat unenthusiastically. “We are near the station after all.”

 

“But why?” Naruto was starting to get into it now, trying to channel Jiraiya’s creativity. “It’s the middle of the week, not likely a holiday.”

 

“Work?”

 

He tried not to let the one-word answer deter him. “That was my next thought, but look at that case, it’s massive. If you were travelling for work, maybe a few days a city over, wouldn’t you pack light? And then there’s her clothes: that’s a nice coat, and she probably has shoes to match. But she’s just firing through those puddles like she doesn’t give a fuck.”

 

“So she’s late and abuses her Gucci’s. Is there a point to this?” Sasuke sighed, eyes nonetheless tracking the woman as she walked by their bench.

 

“The point,” Naruto started slowly, trying not to get too exasperated. “Is to make up a story for her. Who is she? Where’s she going in such a hurry with that case?”

 

“I thought I already answered that?”

 

“Yeah, in the most boring way possible.” Naruto paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “Here’s what I think: she’s a thief. There’s something valuable in the bag, and she’s got to high-tail it away from the city. She’ll blend into the crowd, get on a train and never be seen again.”

 

“That’s…” Sasuke paused a second, looking first at the woman then Naruto, before laughing slightly, shaking his head. “That’s certainly creative.”

 

Naruto wasn’t sure if Sasuke was mocking him or not, but grinned regardless. “It’s pretty good, right?”

 

“Okay,” Sasuke nodded. “Plausible. Few holes though.” After an encouraging look from Naruto, he continued. “So you’ve stolen something. Cool. Depending on how valuable it is, you’ll have a different level of attention. But if you have to leave the city, why stay overnight? And using the train is completely impractical. Your best option is to drive. Completely autonomous. So either she’s stupid, or there’s a different explanation.”

 

“I can see that, yeah.” Naruto snared: he knew he’d got him. “So what do you think?”

 

Sasuke settled into the bench, throwing one leg over the other, eyes leaving the woman as she disappeared around a corner. “Here’s my bid: she’s cheating on her partner. She tells him she’s going on a long trip: a week, maybe longer. But she never leaves the city. She goes to the hotel, they fuck all over the place.” Sasuke reached into his pocket and pulled out the packet of cigarettes, before reconsidering and putting them back. “She leaves this morning, making like she’s coming back from the train station. But she’s hurrying, because she doesn’t want anyone to see her: this is still her home after all. And judging by the way the suitcase bounced over the curb, it was mostly empty: I bet she spent every second of that week naked.”

 

Naruto was floored for a second. “Damn, dude. You’re good.” He quickly searched for another person, settling on a younger man waiting on the corner. “What about him? The guy over there checking his phone.”

 

There was a brief silence as they both appraised the man: he had long hair, held back out of his face with a saggy beanie, a thin leather jacket zipped tight against the biting wind. He was frequently checking his phone, seeming anxious about something.

 

Naruto went first. “Okay, I’ve got one: he’s waiting for his drug dealer.” He wasn’t sure why he came to that conclusion: maybe he was associating the man’s alternative look with a bend towards breaking the rules.

 

_Maybe I’m just thinking about yesterday. I could go for that again._

Sasuke’s mouth twisted slightly as he thought about it. “I don’t think so. Location’s pretty bad for a drop-off: police are here a lot, big open sightlines, very public. If you’re gonna get in the city there’s much better places.”

 

“I suppose you’d know better than me.”

 

Sasuke snorted. “I never pedalled bags of weed. I’m the guy that delivers a fucking brick of cocaine. Besides, look at that kid: he’s probably one of those straight edge pricks.” His eyes moved elsewhere. “Did you notice him over there? The homeless man.”

 

Naruto hadn’t, not consciously; when the rain slowed he’d come out from under cover, setting up his cardboard sign. It read ‘Homeless and hungry, please help.’ And he looked it: he was gaunt, threadbare clothes hanging off him. He appeared to be nodding off slightly, absent-mindedly scratching at his arm, the long sleeves leaving just the fingertips exposed.

 

“Now that’s a junkie.” Sasuke said, nodding in his direction.

 

That was one of the last things Naruto expected his friend to say. “Woah dude, just because he’s homeless doesn’t mean he’s... like that.”

 

“You’re right: the fact that he’s a heroin addict makes him a junkie.” Sasuke nodded towards the man again. “He’s shivering, can’t stop scratching. It was raining all day, right? He’s bone dry.”

 

“He could have been in a shelter. Not all homeless people sleep on the street.” Naruto fired back, not finding Sasuke’s argument reasonable. In truth, he was quite offended on the man’s behalf, and could feel himself getting more agitated. “And if you live on the street you’re bound to catch something. I’m not buying it dude.”

 

“Look at his arms, Naruto.” Sasuke said gently. “He’s holding those sleeves up like the world depends on it. It’s track marks. Repeated injection sites.”

 

As soon as he said this, Naruto realised with blinding clarity that he’d seen the same thing before: it was how he’d held his sleeve when first adjusting to life with his own scars.

 

And with that, Naruto knew that Sasuke was right. For a second, it utterly crushed him. He’d wanted that unknown man to defy odds and expectations. He’d desperately wanted Sasuke to be wrong.

 

Naruto sighed, arms dropping to his lap. For the longest time, neither of them said anything. Sasuke decided he wanted that cigarette after all, and lit up in silence.

 

After a few heavy drags, he looked at Naruto again. “I’m sorry, Naruto.”

 

Naruto didn’t know what to say for the longest time. “This is how you see the world, isn’t it?”

 

“Hmm?” Sasuke asked, mid-draw.

 

“Everything’s just… laid out for you like that. Everyone an open book.” Naruto considered it for a second. “I can’t say I’d want that.”

 

“If I didn’t have these eyes, I’d have nothing.” Sasuke replied, steel in his voice. “The price is seeing too much sometimes.”

 

There was a heavy silence.

 

“Am I like that to you?” Naruto eventually asked quietly, eyes still fixed on the homeless man. “An open book?”

 

Naruto didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t the reaction he got.

 

“No.” Sasuke said simply, leaning forward and dropping the spent cigarette, grinding it out with his heel. “You’re different.”

 

Before he could follow that up with any sort of coherent question, Sasuke stood up in one smooth motion. “Taxi’s here.”

 

They packed their shopping into the black cab, and Naruto had one foot in the door when he suddenly turned back. “Two seconds.”

 

Leaving a confused Sasuke in the taxi, he jogged across the road towards the homeless man. Hastily pulling a fiver out of his pocket, he gave it to the man, pressing it into his hand instead of the empty coffee cup sat in front of him.

 

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Naruto tried to smile, but it felt forced.

 

The man gave a weak nod, his eyes unfocused. “Thank you, sir.”

 

Sasuke said nothing as he got back into the taxi. Naruto’s eyes were far off as they pulled away, soon to be slowed again by traffic.

 

Sasuke broke the silence. “You’re a good man, Naruto.”

 

The compliment meant a lot to Naruto, but rang slightly hollow. He didn’t feel it.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

As soon as they got in, Sasuke started prepping for the meal ahead. Naruto realised then that his friend hadn’t eaten at all that day, and must have been running on fumes.

 

_Damn it, I need to be more on the ball here…_

Naruto offered his help after putting away the rest of the shopping, expecting Sasuke to wave him off. To his surprise, Sasuke squatted down to grab a chopping board from a drawer, placing it on the island.

 

“You could help me with the chips: peel or cut?”

 

“I don’t trust myself to cut,” Naruto smiled slightly as he hefted the bag of potatoes over to the bin, accepting a peeler from Sasuke. “But I can peel with the best of them.”

 

Between the two of them, it wasn’t very long at all until the chips were in the oven. After that it was a waiting game; Naruto put the television on, just for some background noise, and the two talked about nothing in particular for the next forty-five minutes. As the sauce was cooking, Naruto keeping a watchful eye on it, Sasuke switched the T.V off and walked over to the far wall. Opening a hitherto unseen cabinet built into the wall, he picked up an old-fashioned iPod attached to an expensive-looking hi-fi.

 

“Fancy,” Naruto commented, absent-mindedly stirring the sauce with a long wooden spoon.

 

“Not the one I would have chosen, but it’ll do.” Sasuke replied, flicking through his music on the chunky grey device. “Came with the place.”

 

Again, this struck Naruto as slightly puzzling: surely the Sasuke he knew would have instantly replaced anything he didn’t deem to be absolute best.

 

_The couches too. That’s what bugged me so much before._

 

Naruto tried to remember exactly what Sasuke had said, as a soft duet of classical Spanish guitar floated from the speakers. He said he’d bought a couch recently, hadn’t he? Surely that would have replaced the leather ones.

 

Sasuke interrupted that train of thought as he opened the steak, which had been resting on the counter. “Can you season these for me?”

 

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sure.” Naruto traded the saucepan for the meat, liberally applying salt and pepper.

 

“Make sure you rub it in with your hands.” Sasuke instructed without turning around.

 

Naruto cleared his throat sarcastically, Sasuke turning to see that he was already doing it. “I may not know much about cooking, but you don’t hang out with Chouji for years without learning how to cook a decent steak.”

 

Sasuke heated some oil in a pan next to the sauce, and soon the steaks were sizzling away happily. It didn’t take long before Sasuke leaned over and checked one of them, apparently satisfied.

 

“Yours should be about done, Naruto.” He said as he squatted down to get plates out of the cupboard and slid them across to Naruto. “Let it rest a few minutes, then put it back on for a second or two when mine’s ready.”

 

“Yes chef!” Naruto laughed, following his orders to the letter.

 

“Do you like wine, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, uncorking the bottle he’d bought.

 

“Em…” Naruto thought for a second as he levered the steak onto the offered plate. “Only rosé, really.”

 

“Sorry, I should have asked at the shop.” Sasuke apologised as he filled a wine glass with the dark red liquid, twisting the bottle as he finished.

 

“Tell you what,” Naruto called over his shoulder, feeling adventurous. “Give me a taste. It’s been a while since I tried red, could be like the whisky.”

 

Taking the glass, Naruto was very aware of Sasuke’s keen eye on him. It was different to what he remembered: fruity, but deep and complex. “I think I’ll have some of that.”

 

“Seems like your taste is maturing.”

 

“That’d be the only thing.”

 

“Don’t sell yourself short Naruto.” Sasuke replied as he placed the glasses and cutlery at the table. “We’ve both done some growing up in the past few years.”

 

Naruto didn’t feel like it, especially compared to Sasuke, in this flat.

 

_That came at a cost though._

The thought sobered Naruto as he put his steak back on the sizzling pan, Sasuke joining him at the hob to stir the sauce. He had been enjoying himself so much that he’d forgotten he was here because his life might be in danger.

 

_Is this really worth it?_

He backed off as Sasuke expertly plated up: steak first, chips out the oven, then the sauce drizzled over the top. Sasuke took the seat in front of the window, his back to the view, and Naruto opposite. He tried to put that last thought out of sight, locked away in a mental compartment as he concentrated on the food. And it was amazing: Sasuke had worked his magic yet again, the steak perfect.

 

When he said as much, Sasuke smiled out the corner of his mouth. “You did as much of the cooking as I did. You deserve some credit too.”

 

Sasuke was very good at putting on a show for the world, but Naruto found it easy to tell when his friend was being insincere. And that little half-smile was anything but. Naruto instantly felt guilty about his earlier thoughts: opposite him was a man that was trying his best to dig himself out of the hole he was in. He’d made mistakes – big ones – but he was trying to change.

 

_He needs help, not judgement._

“What’s on your mind, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, looking slightly concerned.

 

Naruto jumped very slightly as he broke from his reverie, realising he had just been staring at Sasuke for half a minute. “Oh no, I’m fine. Just daydreaming.”

 

Sasuke didn’t look like he bought it, but didn’t question any further. As was the norm, Naruto was done well before Sasuke, making an effort to place his cutlery in a neat line on his plate. He nursed the glass of wine until Sasuke finished, enjoying the view of the rainy city.

 

“I have some work to do,” Sasuke said as he collected Naruto’s plate, taking them over to the sink. “But feel free to watch TV, set up your Xbox, anything you like. I want you to feel at home here.”

 

Naruto thanked him, and he appreciated the gesture, but he didn’t think he’d ever truly feel comfortable at Sasuke’s flat. There was something about the apartment, a kind of clinical detachment that felt like he was in a museum, surrounded by things he was terrified he’d break.

 

As Sasuke pulled a laptop from a drawer on the island, Naruto very carefully set up his Xbox, hooking it up to the giant television. The curved screen took a second to get used to but soon he was in the zone, shooting baddies left and right. Sasuke had settled on the couch to his left, laptop balanced on his knees and a notepad on his thigh.

 

Glancing over in the occasional lull between battles, Naruto tried to surreptitiously make out the neat writing. There were lots of numbers, but a word or two jumped out at him: fatalities, investigation… Naruto considered asking his friend what he was working on, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

 

Seeing the words make Naruto think about the sort of game he was playing: suddenly the violence seemed distasteful. He put on a more light-hearted platformer, but it didn’t stop the underlying discomfort.

 

_I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this._

Sasuke stood up to make a call, the flip-phone pressed to his ear. “Karin… yeah, are you ready? Get a pen.”

 

He started listing the numbers as he walked into the hall, each one followed by several names. “How soon can you have them?” A pause. “Not good enough. I need them Saturday latest. Call in favours if you have to, it’s important.”

 

Naruto frowned at the screen. Sasuke sounded serious.

 

“Thank you. And Karin? I have every faith in your abilities.”

 

“Everything okay?” Naruto asked, trying to sound offhand.

 

“I can’t get any further until Karin gets me the files I need.” He sighed as he planted himself on the couch again, an unusually visible sign of frustration for him. “It’s not ideal.”

 

“Does she get you information then?” Naruto asked tentatively, his curiosity outweighing his trepidation.

 

“Sometimes,” Sasuke paused before elaborating. “Karin has some useful contacts. I’d go myself, but...”

 

“But…?” Naruto prompted.

 

Sasuke took a moment to answer, looking out the window. “I’m not leaving you here yourself.”

 

Naruto didn’t know how he was supposed to react. “You really think it’s that bad?”

 

“Realistically? No. But I have to consider every possibility.” Sasuke sighed again, scratching the back of his head. “I’m just glad you agreed to stay here. I’d have been worrying about you every other minute.”

 

Naruto only had a second to be touched by the sentiment before his phone alarm went off, making him jump. Fishing it out of his pocket, he read the message attached to it: “kickboxing.”

 

“Shit, I totally forgot about this.” Naruto looked over at Sasuke. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to come to kickboxing with me?”

 

Sasuke just shook his head.

 

“Guess I’m gonna have to call Jiraiya and cancel.”

 

“Are you sure, Naruto?”

 

“Well you’d just worry about me, right?” Naruto scrolled through his contacts before selecting Jiraiya, bringing the phone up to his ear. If he was being honest, he also felt safer with Sasuke. But he didn’t want his friend to think he was afraid. “Besides,” he added as the phone as the phone rang. “I’m not getting Jiraiya mixed up in all this.”

 

“Naruto!” Jiraiya practically shouted as he picked up the phone. “I was just about to call you.”

 

“Really?” Naruto asked, surprised.

 

“Yeah, did you need something?”

 

Naruto was curious. “You first.”

 

“I’m needed on the West Coast, some emergency meeting. I’ll be closing the office for a week, and I can’t make training tonight. Sorry it’s such short notice.”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Naruto smiled, giving Sasuke a thumbs up. “I’m actually calling for the same thing: last minute offer to stay at a friend’s house, haven’t seen them for a while.”

 

_It’s not untrue._

“It’s nice when everything falls into place like that, isn’t it?” Jiraiya chuckled. Naruto could imagine him lounging back in his office’s chair, feet on the table. “Don’t worry about money, treat this as a holiday. You’ve been working really hard recently, you deserve a bit of a break. From the job, anyway; don’t even think about slacking off on the training though. I’ll know.”

 

“Okay, okay.” Naruto laughed. “I’ll keep on the balance work.”

 

“You’d better. See you in a week.”

 

“Well,” Naruto grinned as he hung up. “That makes everything a lot easier. Jiraiya’s out of town for the week, so he’s shutting the office.”

 

Sasuke blinked, seeming surprised. “Does he do that often?”

 

“Not really, no: usually me or the other assistant stay to answer calls if Jiraiya’s away.” Now that Naruto actually thought about it, it did seem odd. “I’m not complaining though: I’m getting holiday pay, and you don’t have to let me out your sight.”

 

“Hmm,” Sasuke acknowledged, shutting the laptop over.

 

“Anyway, he told me not to skip training just cause he’s away: where’d be the best place to do that here?”

 

“Bedroom. Lots of empty space for exactly that.”

 

“Awesome. Think I packed a pair of shorts here somewhere…” Naruto muttered as he searched through his rucksack. He swung his head around to look at Sasuke. “Wanna join me?”

 

“Sure,” Sasuke surprised him by nodding; he wasn’t actually expecting him to say yes. “I’ve usually done mine by now. Falls by the wayside a bit when you’re over.”

 

The boys wandered through to the bedroom, changing in there. As Naruto pulled up his shorts, he caught a glimpse of Sasuke sliding out of his loose-fitting shirt and stepping into a pair of sweatpants.

 

“Right,” Sasuke turned round, still topless, stretching an arm over his chest. “What do you want to start with?”

 

“Do you just not do t-shirts?” Naruto asked, laughing slightly.

 

“Not when I’m training.”

 

Sasuke looked like something out of a Men’s Health magazine for goths, all wiry muscle. The scars, however, ruined the illusion somewhat: the thick line on his chest was still vivid and purple; the graze on his side that Naruto had bandaged up was mostly healed, but discoloured and raw compared to the pale skin around it; various cuts and nicks covered his arms, some more recent than others. Naruto wondered once more what Sasuke had really gotten himself into.

 

“A picture would last longer.” Sasuke smirked as he walked to the centre of the large open space.

 

“No, I was just-”

 

“Daydreaming?” He shook his head, an almost shy smile forming at the corner of his mouth. “Sorry, I’m only teasing.” But that was soon replaced with complete seriousness, his usual lack of expression. “Lead me through your usual routine with Jiraiya.”

 

Naruto had gone through this warmup so many times he could perform it without even thinking. Sasuke followed impeccably, mimicking the sets as though he had been practicing alongside Naruto all this time. The blond was panting slightly by the time they were done, but his partner wasn’t even winded.

 

“That’s a good warmup,” Sasuke nodded, the only admission of how hard he’d worked the thin sheen of sweat across his chest. “What next?”

 

“We usually do some sparring, pad work, that sort of thing.” Naruto took a deep breath, grabbing one of the glasses of water Sasuke had thought to bring through. “But recently we’ve been working on balance and stillness.”

 

“Huh,” Sasuke paused, hand on his hip. “Can’t say I was expecting that. Let’s get started.”

 

“Don’t underestimate it,” Naruto warned as he got into the first position. “It might sound easy, but it’s like yoga on crack.”

 

Sasuke smiled one of those rare, full smiles of his. “Bring it on.”

 

But Naruto didn’t get the sanctimonious revenge he had hoped for: Sasuke kept up with him every step of the way. There were a few points where Naruto stumbled, but Sasuke, for the most part, kept his balance. Naruto sighed as he began the cool-down, a bit put off.

 

_He’s never even tried this before and he’s already better than me._

As they finished up, Sasuke turned and bowed to Naruto. It made Naruto blush, brain jamming for a second before he figured he should probably bow back. “Thanks, Naruto. You put me through my paces there.”

 

Naruto beamed happily as he returned the bow. “You’re welcome.”

 

“Next time we try my workout.” Sasuke chuckled, a glint in his eye. “You want the shower first?”

 

Naruto took a second before answering, chugging the last of his water. “Yeah, please. Pretty sure I’ve lost half my body weight in sweat.”

 

“Charming.”

 

Naruto stripped off in the bathroom, tossing his clothes into the laundry basket in the corner as per Sasuke’s request, taking a moment to just admire the room as the shower heated up.

 

The large white tiles that covered the walls opened up the wet-room, although it needn’t have bothered: it was as large as the rest of the flat. Naruto reckoned he’d be able to get his whole lounge in and still have room to spare. The floor was an onyx tile throughout, slightly slanted towards the shower and drain in the rightmost corner. Behind the shower, where the two walls met, the black seemed to creep up from the floor like a kind of pixilated vine, eventually fading into the white. He caught a quick glimpse of himself in the large mirror set on the wall behind him, set above a jet black double sink unit. Soon, however, he was obscured as the mirror fogged up, the room filling with steam, and Naruto decided not to waste any more time or water.

 

Naruto figured it was late enough to justify getting into his pyjamas, padding through to the living room on bare feet. Sasuke had another glass of wine in his hand as he looked out over the city, lights coming alive as the sun began to set.

 

“I see you’ve made yourself comfy.” Sasuke commented as he looked over his shoulder at Naruto’s arrival.

 

“Shower’s all yours.”

 

Naruto realised he hadn’t checked his phone in a while, something that always seemed to happen around Sasuke. He loaded up his Facebook as Sasuke ambled out the room, but a message quickly popped up: ‘You’ve used 90% of your data for this cycle.’

 

Naruto swore under his breath: he’d got home the other day and watched half a video on YouTube before realising he hadn’t switched his Wi-Fi on. He’d get a refill in – he checked the date – two weeks.

 

_Damn it, now I have to ration this shit._

He checked around the living room for a router, not immediately seeing one. Nothing in the bedroom or hallway either.

 

_Come on, even Sasuke must have Wi-Fi. He isn’t that bad._

Back in the living room his eyes passed over the stereo, nestled in its little in-built cupboard in the wall. Looking closer, he could see other slight hairline cracks in the wall.

 

_The router must be in one of those._

Pressing into the first faint square as he had seen Sasuke do, he smiled as it popped out and slid above the cubby-hole. This one only held a long black box, about the length of his forearm. That wasn’t it.

 

Passing over the stereo in the next cupboard, Naruto opened the last. It had shelves built in, on which rested a few lonely legal texts. One thing that caught his eye was a stylish leather-bound book, the cover new and supple. It was resting face down on the shelf, apart from the others, a simple silver fountain pen lying on top of it.

 

Curious, Naruto reached down to pick it up before a sharp voice interrupted him.

 

“What are you doing, Naruto?”

 

Naruto jumped; he hadn’t heard Sasuke come in. “Hey Sasuke, I was just, y’know, looking for the Wi-Fi.” He said rather weakly.

 

Sasuke’s hair still dripped slightly from the shower, wearing nothing but a towel cinched at the waist. Wordlessly, he walked over to the coffee table, opened his notebook at a random page and scrawled down a number. “That’s your password. I’m going to change.”

 

As Sasuke left the room, Naruto ran a hand down his face in frustration.

 

_Great, now he’s gonna think you were looking through his stuff._

“I’m sorry if it looked like I was snooping,” Naruto stuttered slightly as Sasuke came back through in a clean pair of sweatpants and a thin, black robe over his bare chest.

 

“It’s fine,” Sasuke replied in clipped tones. His expression seemed to soften slightly as he sat down. “Just… just don’t look through my things please.”

 

Naruto felt himself turn red, embarrassed at his lack of foresight. “I’m sorry man, I guess I just didn’t think.”

 

This seemed to amuse Sasuke slightly. “That’s got you into a lot of trouble over the years.”

 

Naruto laughed awkwardly, but he was glad that Sasuke didn’t seem too upset. “Yeah, definitely. Shoot first, ask questions later.”

 

“It also serves you rather well,” Sasuke compromised, bobbing his head slightly as Naruto joined him on the sofa. “It is possible to overthink things.”

 

“I don’t think I’m ever in danger of that.” Naruto leaned forward and grabbed the Xbox controller from the coffee table. “Fancy a game or two?”

 

Sasuke didn’t seem too enthusiastic to start off, but they lost several hours over a few different games. Sasuke picked everything up very quickly, proving himself adept at not only shooting but problem solving too. They finished up with a last round of Halo; Naruto held his own a bit better this time, but still lost.

 

Sasuke carefully placed the controller on the sofa next to him, stifling a yawn behind his hand. “I think I’m done for today.”

 

Naruto nodded, suddenly realising how tired he was. “It’s been a hard day of doing nothing in particular.”

 

“It’s nice going for an early night and knowing I might actually sleep.” Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at Naruto as they wandered through to the living room. “I appreciate it.”

 

“Not like I’m really doing much, is it?” Naruto laughed slightly.

 

“All the same: thanks.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

‘Can we talk? It’s important.’

 

Naruto ran a hand through his sweaty hair, sighing as he read the sender’s name. Sai.

 

He’d sent several messages like this since the two of them had started talking more regularly, each one prompting a phone call. Naruto had thought he’d been exaggerating back at his flat when he claimed to not feel things; now that Sai had opened up to him a bit, he was starting to think he was slightly out of his depth.

 

“You okay?” Sasuke asked from the kitchen, topless once more after a training session.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Naruto replied, distracted as he composed a response message. “I think I’ll just need to make a call later. Friend needs a hand. Or a friend of a friend, I should say.”

 

“Wait, you don’t even like this guy?” Sasuke paused to take a quick sip of water. “Why are you even bothering?”

 

“It’s… complicated, I guess.” Naruto put the phone down on the coffee table, wondering how to word it. “It’s Ino’s boyfriend. Guy’s a bit of an asshole, but there are reasons why. He’s been a bit fucked up, you know? Least I can do is try to help him out a bit.”

 

_A bit like you, really._

Sasuke grunted. “A bit like me, really.”

 

Naruto blushed: it was like Sasuke could read his mind at times. “You’re not an asshole.”

 

“But I am fucked up.” Before Naruto could even think of what to say to that, Sasuke waved it off. “Do what you gotta do, man. Mind if I have the first shower?”

 

“Go for it.”

 

As Sasuke padded away Naruto’s phone buzzed once more, the vibration resonating through the coffee table. Leaning back into the couch, he checked the new message from Sai.

 

‘I’d rather we met. Can you come through?’

 

Naruto groaned, dropping his phone next to him and taking a second to think. This was the last thing he needed.

 

‘I’ll get back to you’ was the best reply he could give for now. He’d have to talk to Sasuke about this, and he knew what the other man would say.

 

For a second he was tempted to just tell Sai he couldn’t make it. He wouldn’t have to go through the argument he knew was coming, and he wouldn’t have to act like some sort of agony aunt to a man he barely knew. But it would gnaw at him if he didn’t try.

 

Sasuke wasn’t long in the shower, dressed comfortably as he sat down next to Naruto. “So are you gonna call this guy?”

 

Naruto paused a beat or two, trying to think of the best way to say it. “Actually he’s wanting to see me in person.”

 

Sasuke leaned forward on the couch, eyes sharp. “And?”

 

“And… well, I think I need to.” Naruto winced at Sasuke’s expression. “It seems important.”

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything for a long time. “Naruto, have you forgotten why you’re here?”

 

Naruto sighed: over the last two days, he frequently had. It was the most relaxed he’d been in a while, pottering around the house while Sasuke worked. He’d even downloaded a movie for them to watch the other night, a stupid action flick. Naruto had to teach Sasuke how to torrent – apparently one of the criminal undertakings his friend hadn’t tried – and it was amusing to be the one imparting knowledge for a change. He’d even caught Sasuke grudgingly smiling a few times throughout the film, no matter how ridiculous he found it all.

 

It would have been perfect if Naruto wasn’t possibly the target of a homicidal maniac. And even if he wasn’t, the man sitting next to him certainly was.

 

“I haven’t, no.” Naruto replied measuredly, trying not to feel chastised. “But you said it yourself: you don’t think Deidara’s after me.”

 

“I’ve been wrong before.”

 

“Look, it’s only gonna be a couple of hours. I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

Sasuke’s voice was iron. “I don’t like this, Naruto.”

 

It was exactly what Naruto had expected. “I know, I know. But I don’t really have a choice.”

 

“Of course you have a choice.” Sasuke replied quickly, his tone unusually aggressive. “You don’t have to do shit. It’s just one fucked up kid, one that you don’t even like. You can’t martyr yourself for every asshole with a sob story.”

 

“You don’t understand, Sasuke.” Naruto was starting to get frustrated, anger rising in response.

 

“What don’t I understand? That you’re too nice for your own good? There’s a chance you’re gonna get hurt. That’s enough for me.”

 

“It’s not like that.” Naruto stood up, walking towards the window. “If there’s a chance I can help someone, I should take it. Even if it’s inconvenient.”

 

Sasuke also rose, following him over. “Inconvenient is helping your elderly neighbour with her shopping, not putting your life in danger.”

 

“It’s his life too.” Naruto threw his arms up, anger getting the better of him. “This isn’t like a high-school breakup or some shit: they’ve messed him up so bad he can’t feel things properly. If he says it’s important, it’s important.”

 

“Boo-fucking-hoo.” Sasuke practically snarled. “I get it, you love to play the hero. The whole world will collapse if you aren’t there to hold it up, right?”

 

The words stung, embedding themselves deep in his mind. “Last time I didn’t, I lost my best friend,” he said quietly, trying not to show his hurt. “I’m not letting anyone go through anything like that.”

 

This gave Sasuke pause. The two of them were silent for a while, Naruto choosing to look out the window instead of at his friend.

 

“I left, Naruto.” Sasuke eventually said, anger seeming to evaporate. He just sounded tired. “There wasn’t anything you could do to change that.”

 

Naruto didn’t reply. Sasuke sighed, Naruto catching his reflection on the glass as he stalked over to his jacket and pulled out his cigarettes. Lighting up, he sat back down and pulled an ashtray over. “I can’t stop you going. ‘Do what you gotta do,’ right?” He laughed humourlessly, flicking the ash off his cigarette.

 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.” Naruto turned from the window, going to grab him coat and shoes.

 

Sasuke nodded as he took another draw. “Be careful you don’t cut yourself open too deep. There won’t be anything left before long.”

 

It was almost exactly what Hinata had said to him. He didn’t know why that bothered him so much.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto got off the bus, consulting his phone for directions to Sai’s flat. His argument with Sasuke played on a loop in his head, heart beating fast as he looked around for… he wasn’t sure. Anything suspicious. He didn’t think he’d feel safe until he was at Sai’s.

 

Fortunately, it wasn’t very far from the bus stop. He ascended the stairs after Sai buzzed him in, the modern-looking atrium very impressive. This close to the city centre, anything like that must have cost quite a bit.

 

Before he knocked on Sai’s door, he tried to put Sasuke out of his mind. The last time they had talked, Sai had said he was starting to remember things from his childhood; things that, until recently, he had no recollection of. As he chapped the glossy white door, apprehension settled in. He didn’t know what he would find on the other side.

 

Sai opened the door a hair, Naruto just seeing one dark eye and a sliver of his face before a chain was removed and he was welcomed in. He was dressed plainly, a simple t-shirt and dark trousers, and invited Naruto to sit down.

 

The flat was similar to Sasuke’s, but on a much lower budget: the same type of modern, spartan furnishings and open spaces. The biggest difference was the paintings everywhere, some adorning the walls, others half-finished and piled in corners. On the easel by the window was one such unfinished piece, an oil painting of a boy. The only piece missing was his face, a gaping white wound in the canvas. Naruto didn’t know why, but it made him uneasy.

 

Sai settled down in an angular armchair opposite him, seeming a bit more relaxed than usual. “Thank you for coming, Naruto.”

 

“Any time,” Naruto tried to smile, but found it rather difficult. “How’re you doing? You seem a bit more… I dunno, chill?”

 

“That will probably be our good friend vodka.” Sai pointed over to a previously-unnoticed bottle next to the easel. “It’s been useful.”

 

Naruto nodded apprehensively; now he wasn’t so sure about his previous advice.

 

_Don’t want him ending up like Sasuke._

“Just make sure you’re careful,” Naruto said carefully after a second or two. “You don’t wanna become hooked on anything.”

 

“Oh I’m not, don’t worry: I still don’t see the appeal of drinking for pleasure. But it seems to help me remember things.” Sai linked his hands together in his lap, locking eyes with the man opposite him. “I had a brother, Naruto.”

 

“I’d… I’d forgotten.” He continued, breaking eye contact once more. “Even now, it seems like a dream. Something that happened to another person. Do you remember the place I told you about? The place they took me?”

 

Naruto nodded: from what Sai could remember, it had seemed like some sort of military academy.

 

“He was there with me. I don’t think he was really my brother, but I certainly thought of him as one. He liked my paintings. He was a lot like you, actually. Loud, and…” Sai stopped, perhaps thinking better of what he was about to say. He seemed to be getting better at that. “I was a person to him. It was more than what they saw us as. I get the horrible feeling we were some kind of experiment.”

 

“An experiment?” Naruto echoed, leaning forward.

 

“Yes. It’s like I told you: we were trained to have no emotion. Who we used to be was… repressed. I didn’t remember my childhood, nothing but the training. When Ino and I first, um, started… she was the first person that had showed me kindness in a long time. I started to remember things. And then when I met you, it brought more to the surface. How much you reminded me of Shin.”

 

Naruto had no clue what to say. An anger built up inside him, a boiling, rising mass.

 

_Who would do that to a kid? What kind of sick motherfucker would do that?_

He took a deep breath: getting angry now wouldn’t help Sai. “That’s horrible, Sai. But maybe getting back in touch with your brother would help. There must be a way we can track him down, maybe-”

 

“He’s dead, Naruto.” Sai said quietly.

 

“Oh god, I… I’m so sorry.” Naruto felt his heart break for the person in front of him. He felt absolutely powerless: there was nothing he could do that would make that right.

 

Sai simply nodded, his face blank and unreadable. “Thank you.”

 

A long, awkward pause grew between the two. Naruto wanted to say something, anything, but didn’t know what. He glanced at the canvas again, the pieces falling into place. “Is that him? Shin?”

 

“Yes.” Sai got up, and walked over to the painting, studying it like it was his first time seeing it.

 

“It’s beautiful. It’s gonna look amazing when it’s finished.”

 

“I don’t know if it ever will be finished.” Sai looked round, his eyes haunting. “I can’t remember his face.”

 

The uncomfortable silence stretched out between them, thick and heavy. Naruto was thankful when Sai walked away from the painting, breaking the silence. “I hear you had a brother, once.”

 

_Maybe the silence was better._

“Once.” Naruto started cautiously. “But he left. A long time ago.”

 

Sai hummed in agreement, nodding. “And left you in quite a state. It’s an oft-talked about topic amongst your friends.” He shrugged when Naruto looked at him quizzically. “They worry about you. Quite frankly I see why.”

 

“It was years ago,” Naruto muttered, looking away. “I’m fine.”

 

“What I found puzzling,” Sai started, pausing as he settled into the chair again. “Is your… attitude towards him. I wanted to ask you myself, because I don’t understand it.”

 

“Don’t understand what?” Naruto asked, leaning forward in his seat, his eyes finding Sai’s once more.

 

“What do you still see in Sasuke Uchiha?”

 

Naruto took a second before answering, for the first time in a long time thinking about the question.

 

_What do I still see in Sasuke Uchiha?_

“Sasuke is…” Naruto paused, ‘correcting’ himself. “Was… the most special person I’ve ever met. He’d lost his parents when he was young. People like you and me, we think we understand, but we don’t have a fucking clue. We’ll never remember our family. We can’t miss what we haven’t had.

 

“Sasuke’s parents were murdered. Can you imagine what that’s like for a kid?” Naruto continued, picking up speed. “The last few years we had with him, he was getting worse. He said once it was like this hole inside him. And there was nothing you could fill it with, except anger. For a while, that was the only thing keeping him going.

 

“And through all that, Sasuke managed to be one of the kindest people I’ve ever known.”

 

Sai was silent for a second as he processed this. “What he did to you doesn’t sound like the actions of a kind man.”

 

“I don’t expect you to understand,” Naruto sighed, frustration getting the better of him. “It’s fucked up. Everything about it is fucked up. But that doesn’t change the way I feel about him.”

 

Sai nodded, but Naruto suspected it had gone over his head. “It sounds like Sasuke was lucky to have you. For the short while he did.”

 

Then again, maybe not.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

The pit in Naruto’s stomach seemed to have made itself quite at home these days. It was a visceral, gut-clenching reaction, a physical manifestation of his agitation. But this wasn’t the worry he was used to.

 

This was a deep, burning anger.

 

Hearing about Sai’s childhood, the way he’d been used, seemed to ignite something inside Naruto; he could feel it in his blood, scorching his veins.  He tried to slow his breathing, calm himself, feet pounding the pavement as he made his way back to Sasuke’s. He knew his friend would still be mad, and he honestly couldn’t blame him.

 

_I’d have felt the same if it was the other way around. Guess that makes me a hypocrite too._

This part of town was deserted at this time: between getting to Sai’s and back the sky had grown dark, light rain stuttering hazily against the pavement. Naruto was glad of it. He was still on high alert, watching the shadows. He hurried his stride slightly as he walked through the partially constructed lawn outside Sasuke’s building, feeling exposed in the open space.

 

But he reached the entrance just fine, fishing out the key that Sasuke had given him. As he turned to close the glass door, he saw a black car slow down to a crawl as it passed. Naruto froze, heart accelerating hard, but it soon picked up speed, disappearing around the corner. Naruto sighed, letting go of the door handle; he hadn’t realised how hard he’d been clutching it, knuckles white and shaking.

 

His heart was still pounding in his chest as he kicked his shoes off, safely inside Sasuke’s flat. He paused a second, breathing deep, hand on the wall for support.

 

_It’s okay. You’re safe._

Sasuke was in the hallway only seconds later, once again in only an open robe and sweatpants. “Hey. You okay?”

 

Naruto nodded, closing his eyes for a second. “Thought I saw something. Doesn’t matter. It’s fine.”

 

Sasuke, too, nodded. “Okay. Good. I’m glad you’re back.”

 

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, me too.”

 

After a moment of painful silence, Sasuke slowly turned and headed back to the kitchen. Naruto followed, gratefully taking an offered glass of whisky. Sasuke topped up his own glass, Naruto noticing substantially less Auchentoshan left in the bottle. From the look of it, Sasuke had been drinking the moment Naruto left.

 

That twist in his stomach was back. But this time it was guilt.

 

_I did that to him._

“Look, Sasuke…” Naruto started, staring resolutely into his glass. “I’m sorry. I know how worried you must have been.”

 

Sasuke nodded, pausing to scratch his jaw. “You’d do it again though.”

 

“I… it’s difficult.”

 

“That’s what I thought.”

 

Sasuke walked over to the window with his drink, and for a while neither of them said anything. Naruto couldn’t stop thinking about Sai. He sighed, taking a big mouthful of whisky, savouring the way it burned his throat.

 

Naruto was the one to break the silence. “Hey, Sasuke, have you ever heard of…” He trailed off, not sure how to phrase it. “Experiments… on kids? Like behaviour modification?”

 

Sasuke turned from the window, a hard edge to his eyes. “Experiments?”

 

Naruto pulled a chair from the dining table and carefully sat down. “We’re talking repressed memories, uh, lack of emotion, that sort of thing. I just figured, with your work…”

 

Sasuke tapped the glass in his hand for a second before he answered. “There’s rumours. Unsubstantiated, of course.” He shot Naruto a sharp look. “Is this the sort of shit you’re tangling with now?”

 

“Well…” Naruto sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Yeah. I guess.”

 

“Jesus, Naruto.” Sasuke drained his glass, placing it on the table, harder than he usually might have. “If that’s true, we’re talking big players. Government collusion, maybe. Sort of thing you leave well enough alone.”

 

“Of course you’d say that.” Naruto muttered, frustrated. “I thought you, of all people, you could understand that. If you had a chance to undo some of the damage, wouldn’t you take it?”

 

Sasuke appeared to be just as riled. “Here’s what I understand: both you and your not-friend are too stupid to realise that the only person that can help him is himself. You don’t undo that type of damage. You cope with it.”

 

“The way you’re coping?”

 

Sasuke said nothing, but his jaw worked around clenched teeth.

 

“So you’re telling me that you’d see a man bleeding in the street and walk right by?” Naruto pressed. “Not your problem, right? That’s not the Sasuke I know.”

 

The man grabbed his glass, taking it over to the kitchen counter for a refill. “Maybe I’m not the Sasuke you knew.”

 

“Bullshit!” Naruto yelled, standing as he finally lost his cool. “The only reason we’re having this conversation is because you care too goddamn much.”

 

“About you. Everyone else can get fucked. I don’t owe them shit.”

 

Naruto didn’t know what to say to that. And before he could formulate even a halfway coherent response, they were interrupted by a loud slam.

 

Like a door being kicked open.

 

Sasuke leapt into action immediately. He pushed a frozen Naruto into the kitchen, out of sight from the hall.

 

_Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck-_

 

Sasuke’s bare feet made no noise as he moved in front of Naruto, putting one hand behind him, fingers spread.

 

Wait.

 

Crouching down, Sasuke crept to the end of the kitchen, pressing himself flat against the wall next to the room’s wide entrance. Naruto got the message, squatting behind the island, heart deafening him, every nerve electrified.

 

The intruder’s footsteps clicked through the flat, slow and deliberate. After a second, a familiar voice rang out. “Yo, Sasuke! Only me.”

 

_Wait, is that-_

Sasuke sighed, body uncoiling as he pulled away from the wall. He glanced at Naruto, nodding. “It’s okay.”

 

Naruto stood up, cautiously following as Sasuke rounded the corner. Standing in the hallway, arms spread, was a man with white hair, grinning. “Hey buddy, just thought I’d drop in, say hi. You know, now that Twink’s home safe and sound.”

 

“Suigetsu.” Sasuke had steel in his voice, razor-sharp. He strode up to the other man until they were practically nose to nose. “Why are you here?”

 

Suigetsu didn’t seem to be particularly phased by this. “Well boss, I’ve been having some on-the-job concerns recently. I mean, when the orders are total horse shit you kinda have to worry about the man giving them.”

 

_Boss?_

 

“Concern noted. Get back to work.” Sasuke turned to walk away.

 

“That’s not good enough.”

 

Suigetsu had started to step forward, but before his foot landed Sasuke was in front of him, a fistful of fuchsia shirt in his hand. “And you take off your shoes before you take another goddamn step in my house. Are we clear?”

 

The momentary shock on Suigetsu’s face was soon replaced by another wide grin. “Crystal.”

 

As Suigetsu unlaced his boots, two more figures appeared in the threshold, a man and a woman. Naruto recognised Jūgo, but he’d never seen the woman before. She had startlingly red hair, the area by her left temple shaved. She pushed a set of glasses back up her nose as she stumbled through the door, a messenger bag weighing her down.

 

_That must be the woman Sasuke was talking about, Karin._

“I’m so sorry, Sasuke,” Karin gasped. “We tried to stop him, but he…”

 

“Go on,” Suigetsu crowed, bobbing up and down on the balls of his feet.

 

“He put the fucking child locks on the car and took off! Goddamn piece of shit!” She yelled, face bright red.

 

Jūgo said nothing, hovering in the doorway.

 

Sasuke breathed deep, staring levelly at Suigetsu. “Inside. All of you.”

 

The trio took their shoes off, filing past them and into the lounge. Naruto went to follow, but Sasuke stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest. “Naruto, I-”

 

“I’m not sitting this out.” Naruto cut him off, looking his friend dead in the eyes. “Not anymore.”

 

Sasuke looked at him for a second before nodding. “Okay.”

 

Suigetsu had made himself at home on one sofa arms spread over the back, one leg across the other. Karen and Jūgo sat somewhat more awkwardly on the other. Naruto pointedly grabbed a chair from the dining table, dragging it across the room. Anything but sitting next to Suigetsu. The man in question raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

 

Sasuke remained standing, hands in the pockets of his dark robe. “What’s this about?”

 

“What it’s about,” Suigetsu paused as he leaned forward. “Is you losing your goddamn mind.”

 

“Oh really?” Sasuke hadn’t raised his voice, but it was piercing. “What would you be doing differently?”

 

Suigetsu raised his arms, slapping them down on his knees. “Oh, jeez, I dunno- how about not assigning all your resources on one fucking kid? You said it yourself: we’re the only ones you can trust right now. So having all three of us tail this asshole is a move that could get you killed.”

 

“Hang on, this creep was following me?” Naruto glared at Sasuke, but his eyes were fixed on Suigetsu.

 

“Aww, that’s uncalled for. Jūgo’s not creepy.”

 

“Get fucked-”

 

Sasuke interrupted them by kicking the coffee table in front of him, books flying off as it slammed into Suigetsu’s shins. Hands still in his pockets, the robe swishing behind him, he stepped up on the coffee table in one graceful lightning-fast instant, his bare foot at Suigetsu’s throat. His voice was a low growl. “I’m gonna say this once. Naruto makes us vulnerable. That makes him the only thing that matters. And the only thing you should be worried about. Understand?”

 

Suigetsu stared him down for a second before holding up palms. “Sure.”

 

Sasuke kept the pressure on for a moment longer before taking his foot away. Stepping off the coffee table, he went to get himself another whiskey. No one spoke. The sheer brutality, the intensity floored Naruto. It was a terrifying shift from the man he knew, the opposite of what he’d just told Sai.

 

Naruto broke the silence. “You left yourself totally open… to protect me?”

 

Sasuke didn’t meet his eye, but nodded.

 

“He’s right.” Naruto stood up to get his own drink: he knew was going to need more than a few before the night was over. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

 

“It’s like I said-”

 

“Yeah, I ‘make you vulnerable.’ That doesn’t matter if you’re dead.” Naruto took a deep sip. “Stop making stupid decisions because you’re worried about me.”

 

“See, Blondie gets it!” Suigetsu smiled from the couch, pushing the table back into place.

 

Sasuke silenced him with a look. “I don’t care, Naruto. This is how we’re doing things.”

 

Naruto could see he wasn’t going to change his mind. “Guess I’ll just have to stay here for the time being.”

 

Sasuke didn’t answer. A terse silence stretched out before them. Naruto didn’t know what to think: he understood why Sasuke did what he did, but the thought of Deidara getting to his friend was too much.

 

_And that’s exactly what’s going through Sasuke’s head too._

 

Karin jumped, as if she remembered something. “Sasuke, I- I have those files you needed.”

 

Sasuke nodded, gesturing for her to come. She jumped up and pulled a thick wad of files from the bag, handing them over. Sasuke flipped the first one open and started reading.

 

Suigetsu cleared his throat. “You gonna share with the rest of the class?”

 

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a second, before throwing the open file onto the coffee table. The first page of a detailed report started on the left page; the right held a photo. At first Naruto strained to make out what it was. Then he realised it was rubble.

 

He was looking at the site of a bombing.

 

Debris littered the picture, and when he looked a little closer, blood. Lots of blood. The next file slapped onto the table: same thing. And the next. And the next. If Naruto hadn’t already been sitting down, he would have needed to.

 

“You get the idea.” Sasuke said mildly, placing the rest of the files down.

 

“Jesus.” Naruto couldn’t think of anything else to say. Jūgo nodded grimly.

 

“There are fifteen bombings over seven countries: fifteen that we know about. High profile targets, disguised as acts of terrorism. Some asshole in a cave claims responsibility, the world keeps turning. Upside is, he’s vain about it: uses a distinct explosive to ‘sign’ his work. If I’m lucky” – he leaned over and tapped the files – “the police reports shed some light on that.”

 

“It would help if we knew exactly what we were dealing with,” Jūgo agreed. “But that’s only gonna tell us the size of the crater we’ll be scraping you out of.”

 

“So we look at the delivery system.” Sasuke picked a book up from the floor, something to do with wireless electronics. “We know he uses remote detonators, not timers. I’ll need to do a bit of research, but I have an idea.”

 

“And until then?” Karin asked, nervously.

 

“Business as usual. Take shifts, watch the flat. I’ll let you know.” Sasuke put the book down on top of the files, picking his whisky back up, eyeing Suigetsu. “Anything else?”

 

Silence.

 

They got up to leave, but Suigetsu stopped before he passed Sasuke reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a handgun. Naruto jumped slightly at the sight of it, Suigetsu rolling his eyes. But he soon became unusually serious.

 

He held it grip-first out to Sasuke. “I know you don’t like guns, but I want you to take this.”

 

Sasuke looked it over for a second. “Won’t you be needing it?”

 

“You know I have like three more at home.”

 

Sasuke still didn’t take it. “I’ll be fine without.”

 

Suigetsu was insistent, pushing it towards him. “Like fuck you will. I’m not letting your stupid morals get you killed.” He groaned when Sasuke didn’t reply. “You don’t even have to use it, just take it. Please.”

 

Sasuke relented, carefully taking the gun. His finger ran straight up the barrel, nowhere near the trigger. He weighed it up, checking down the sights and throwing the slide back to look at the chamber. “Thanks.”

 

“Oh, and Suigetsu?” Sasuke asked, making the other man look over his shoulder. “You ever pull this shit again and you’ll be begging for another month on the table with Orochimaru. I’ll see to that personally.”

 

Suigetsu didn’t have a witty retort for that.

 

As the door clicked closed, Sasuke sighed, some of the tension seeming to leave him. “I’m sorry about that.”

 

As angry as Naruto had been earlier, it had burnt out. He didn’t agree with his friend – and having Suigetsu follow him still made him feel violated – but it was an impossible situation. There were no wins for Sasuke. “I understand. I don’t have to like it, but… I don’t know what I’d do. If it were me.”

 

Sasuke’s relief was palpable. “Thank you, Naruto. I know I can always count on you. Just… try not to judge me by what I had to do back there.”

 

“I can’t imagine that guy’s easy to keep in line. I still don’t know why the fuck he’s even here.”

 

“You might not like him, but Suigetsu…” Sasuke sighed, like he was trying to find the right words. “I trust him. The other stuff, he just plays it up. Better for the world to think you’re an asshole than to think you weak.”

 

Naruto grunted non-committedly in response. He didn’t think he quite believed it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! First of all I'd like to apologise once again for the wait between chapters - so many things going on the past few months, but always find the time for this eventually!
> 
> As per usual I'd love to hear from you guys, your thoughts, all that good stuff! Enjoy :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying cooped up in the flat is driving Naruto crazy, but Sasuke seems to have something in the works.

Naruto sighed as he opened up the Facebook app on his phone, only to close it again almost immediately: he’d seen the most recent updates five minutes ago, the last time he’d checked. And it wasn’t what he’d wanted to do then either.

 

He looked over at Sasuke, leaning forward over the coffee table from his seat on the couch, putting together… something. It looked similar to a network router, a squat black box with several small antennae Sasuke was busy affixing to its back. But instead of plastic branded with a company logo, this seemed to be made of some sort of metal, pure black all over.

 

“Are you still not telling me what that thing is?” Naruto asked, trying not to look too interested; in truth the curiosity was eating him alive.

 

Something in Sasuke’s very slight smile told him it was a losing battle. “Nope.”

 

“Any particular reason? Besides just being a dick.”

 

“I already told you, Naruto,” Sasuke patiently explained, eyes still locked on the device in front of him. “Better you don’t know.”

 

Naruto gave it up as a bad job and tried to ignore his friend’s newest DIY project. It was easier said than done. He had been working on this one for almost an hour now, and there were several more in the box by his feet.

 

It had started that morning, Naruto waking up to the other man on the phone. He was pacing slowly in front of the window, rain pouring down once again in sheets, reading technical names and numbers from his notebook. Having found it hard to sleep after the events of the night before, Naruto’s barely-conscious mind thought nothing more of it as he drifted away once again.

 

That was, until after their morning training together – a routine Naruto was thoroughly enjoying – when the doorbell rang. Sasuke had accepted the package after letting the delivery girl into the building, signing a presumably fake signature on the clunky PDA. He’d apologised and told Naruto that he needed to get some work done, proceeding to take one of the strange boxes apart and solidly ignore his friend in the process.

 

So Naruto tried to forget his burning curiosity, absent-mindedly checking Facebook again. He dropped the phone on the couch next to him in frustration as he caught himself doing it, resenting how automatic it had become.

 

_Next thing you know I’ll be like Sakura, bloody glued to the thing…_

 

Despite not looking up from the box, Sasuke seemed to read his mind. “Something wrong?”

 

“Not wrong, no…” Naruto sighed again, trying to find the right words. “I know what you’re doing is important, but-”

 

“You’re bored, aren’t you?”

 

“I’m so goddamn bored, dude.” Naruto wasn’t even surprised at his friend’s clairvoyance anymore. “It’s not you or anything, I just hate being cooped up like this.”

 

Sasuke nodded. “I understand. And I’m sorry. But you know we should be outside as little as possible.”

 

“We’ve been through this. I know.” Naruto replied, throwing an arm over the back of the couch.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“And stop apologising, this isn’t your fault.”

 

Sasuke twisted the final antenna into place, where it locked with a satisfying click. “I mean… I’m pretty sure you had less people intent on killing you when I was gone.”

 

Naruto dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand. “Semantics.”

 

That made Sasuke chuckle slightly, something that Naruto was embarrassed to admit boosted his ego substantially. He flipped a switch at the base of the box and set it down on the coffee table, the green LED that had popped into life the only sign it was doing anything at all.

 

Sasuke pulled out his phone, flipping it open to check it. Apparently satisfied, he switched the device off and pulled the rest of them out of the box. Naruto resisted the urge to ask questions he wouldn’t get any answers to as he got to work, getting another three devices set up in the space of five minutes.

 

Naruto finally bit, desperate for just a scrap of information. “So how come those ones didn’t take as long? You took the first one apart, did the others not need it?”

 

Sasuke leaned back, finally looking at Naruto for what seemed like the first time in that entire hour. Eventually he answered. “These things are ready to go out the box, you just attach the antennae. But I needed to understand exactly how they work first. Just in case anything goes wrong.”

 

“Do you expect things to go wrong?”

 

Sasuke stood, piling the black devices back into the cardboard box. “I plan for it. There’s a difference.”

 

Sasuke yawned, checking the watch he’d abandoned on the kitchen counter several nights ago. “Okay, I have a meeting with the guy that owns this place: the internet’s been giving me trouble recently, need to re-organise some wires.”

 

“You just told me we can’t leave.” Naruto called over the back of the couch accusingly.

 

“What I said was ‘we should be outside as little as possible’ – I’ll still be in the building.” Sasuke scribbled down three phone numbers in his notebook and ripped the page out. “Karin, Jūgo, Suigetsu. You need anything and you can’t get me, call them. Use the landline over there. Suigetsu will be with me, so don’t worry.”

 

Naruto took the paper and stared at it for a few seconds before shoving it in his pocket. “You aren’t going far, right?”

 

“I’ll be just downstairs,” Sasuke reassured him, his voice gentle. He grabbed the thin black robe he was wearing between his thumb and forefinger. “Now I better get changed. Doubt he’d appreciate me showing up like this.”

 

A clean shirt and a comb ran through his dark hair, and Sasuke was ready to go. “The Wi-Fi will be down for a bit, not sure how long it’ll take. You can entertain yourself, right?”

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Believe it or not, I can cope without the internet.”

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

After twenty minutes, Naruto realised he couldn’t cope without the internet.

 

He’d switched the Xbox on again, but it felt like that was all he’d done the last few days; he had soon become bored, and ended up wandering around the flat. He’d enjoyed the view for a few minutes, the rain-drenched streets still beautiful despite the weather. But that too had lost its charm.

 

After a quick shower – something he’d neglected to do after their training session that morning – he found himself with absolutely nothing to do. He decided to put some music on, making his way over to the strange wall compartments and pushing on the middle one. The speaker system was exposed as the glossy section of wall slid up, the chunky iPod attached by a braided black cable. Flicking through the artists, Naruto didn’t initially recognise any of them. Some had frankly alarming names.

 

_Who in their right mind calls a band ‘Infant Annihilator?’_

Curiosity once again winning over trepidation, he decided to see what sort of sound warranted such an extreme name. He was immediately blasted with pure unadulterated _noise_ : this wasn’t like the music Sasuke had shown him earlier, which he’d enjoyed despite the heavy sound. This was just… assault.

 

He quickly paused it, looking for something slightly more palatable. Soon Naruto found the band Sasuke had shown him back at his flat, Opeth. It seemed like such a long time ago now: Sasuke showing up on his doorstep out of the blue, popping open that bottle of whisky and reigniting a bond that had lain dormant for too long.

 

As the now familiar waves of the intro faded in, Naruto realised he’d never listened to the album all the way through. Several times he’d put it on in the flat – usually when Sasuke was on his mind – but was always interrupted before it finished. He’d never heard the entire story.

 

He doubted he’d have enough time to listen to the whole album, so he skipped ahead to the last few songs. Settling back into the couch and pulling up the browser on his phone, he searched for the site that he knew contained both lyrics and their explanation. It still made him feel like he was doing English homework, like the Shakespeare Miss Yūhi used to assign them with.

 

_Maybe if it’d been something like this I might have been more interested._

It was only when the search failed that Naruto remembered the internet was off. After a brief moment of indecision, he turned on his mobile data; it’d be worth using some of the precious little he had left to finally finish the story.

 

But, once again, it wasn’t meant to be. When he pressed the button nothing happened, the signal bar on his phone replaced by a small cross.

 

_Great, now I’ve lost signal._

Irritated, it didn’t take more than a few minutes before he was on his feet again. He checked the next cubby along, the one with all the books; as he’d thought, there was nothing even remotely entertaining in there. His eye caught Sasuke’s journal, however. For a second, just a second, a voice seemed to whisper in his ear.

 

_“Go on, take a peek. Just a quick look. Wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on in his head? How to help him?”_

And he was tempted. Partly, of course, by the base desire to be nosy. But that was easily ignored. What was more persistent, more subversive, was the need to help his friend.

 

_I could find out everything in minutes if I wanted to. Everything he won’t tell me._

The thought stopped him for a second. There was something about the journal that kept drawing him in, like a half-remembered dream, something buried in the back of his brain. The music crashed and swelled around him as Naruto stood frozen, eyes locked on the book. 

 

And in a moment of clarity he realised that it all came down to one question.

 

_What’s more important: Sasuke’s privacy or his safety?_

It was a question that answered itself. But as Naruto reached for the book, his stomach knotted and twisted with anxiety, something made him stop.

 

_What the fuck am I doing?_

He quickly pulled the cupboard closed, the well-oiled hinges sliding shut as it seemed to disappear. Sighing, Naruto gently thumped his forehead against the wall next to the panel. The smooth texture was cool and soothing, like he was trying to alleviate a particularly troubling migraine. His thoughts seemed to be overlapping one another, conflicting emotions spiralling out of control.

 

_I was away to trade Sasuke’s trust for that. A slim chance I could help him._

He opened his eyes, the tension slowly leaving his body. But it was soon replaced by shame. Naruto collapsed back onto the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn’t know what was right anymore. Even now, every logical thought in his head told him to read the journal. For Sasuke’s benefit.

 

_It’s not like he’d ever tell me himself._

But counter to that was the overwhelming feeling of wrongness. It wasn’t about weighing up the pros and cons. Logic had no place in the equation, not when the question was that of morals.

 

_Maybe that’s what stopped me. That and I know Sasuke would never forgive me. Even though he’d have done the same thing._

And there it was, Naruto saw in a moment of epiphany: he knew that had their situations been reversed, Sasuke would have read it in a second if he thought it would give him the edge.

 

_He’s done worse. If the ends justify the means._

He tried to slow his brain down, to arrange his thoughts. He still didn’t know if he was doing the right thing, but he was sure the question would come up again. This was nowhere close to being put to bed.

 

Raising his phone into the air, Naruto resentfully eyed the ‘no signal’ icon. He wished he could speak to Shikamaru about this. He was always Naruto’s go-to when he needed advice. But even if he had signal, what would he say? Shikamaru wasn’t an idiot; the opposite, he was sharp as Sasuke.

 

_He’d put the pieces together if I gave him enough. Fuck, I’d even speak to Kiba about this. Just someone._

But he knew it was no good. The only person he could reach out to was Hinata, but she was worrying about him enough. He didn’t want to put even more on her.

 

Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to be out of this flat. The massive, spartan apartment was too big, too empty. The windows made him feel exposed, like some sort of specimen in a glass cage. It was getting to be too much.

Fortunately at that moment the door clicked open. “I’m back,” Sasuke’s quiet voice drifted through from the hallway.

 

Naruto couldn’t help but feel like an excited dog as he pushed himself off the couch to greet Sasuke. He knew the thoughts that had been troubling him wouldn’t go away. But with Sasuke home, Naruto could already feel them being pushed to the back of his mind.

 

“Get everything sorted?” Naruto asked as his friend unlaced his boots.

 

“Yeah, internet should be back up in a few minutes.” He looked up from his shoe, a smile playing about the corner of his mouth. “You were going nuts, weren’t you?”

 

Naruto laughed awkwardly, conceding the point; Sasuke was closer than he knew. “You don’t even have any decent books, man. Just technical shit and that journal.”

 

Sasuke grunted an acknowledgement as he moved past Naruto and into the living room. Sitting carefully on one of the couches, he pulled the last cigarette from the packet on the coffee table and sparked his lighter.

 

Naruto sat on the other couch, waiting a second until Sasuke had inhaled. “So I was wondering… why do you have one of those in the first place? A journal?”

 

Sasuke paused for a second, taking another draw and reaching forward to tap the cigarette against the rim of the ashtray. “It was recommended to me, by a friend. You’ve met, actually. Jūgo. It’s been helpful. Therapeutic. Get everything down on paper, like you’re talking to someone who knows nothing about your life.”

 

Sasuke’s tone was even more clipped than usual: whenever that happened, Naruto knew he was treading on thin ice. “So you write down everything? Like a diary?”

 

Sasuke smiled reluctantly, briefly bringing his hand to his mouth. “It’s not quite as fourteen-year-old-girl as that. It doesn’t fix anything, not really. It’s like… spring cleaning for your mind. I usually have a notepad with me on the go, transfer it over later.”

 

Naruto nodded slightly, the notepad sounding familiar for some reason. He must have seen Sasuke with it at some point. “I’m glad it helps,” he offered, not sure what else to say.

 

“A little. But it comes back. Always does.” Sasuke looked down at his cigarette, eyes far away. “A lot of the things in there… they aren’t easy things to forget.”

 

“Especially with your memory,” Naruto said offhandedly.

 

“It’s not just good, Naruto.” Sasuke sighed, leaning back into the couch with his eyes closed. “It’s near-photographic.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Everything I’ve seen.” Sasuke tapped his temple, eyes still shut. “Most every detail. Useful, but not fun.”

 

_And with the things he’s seen… Jesus. No wonder he keeps it locked down._

“Anyway, doesn’t matter,” Sasuke waved his hand dismissively, sitting up again. “It’s for me. Just me.”

 

Naruto instantly felt immensely more guilty.

 

Stubbing out his cigarette, Sasuke stood up and checked his watch. “You want to get started on food soon? We could do your ramen tonight. If you want.”

 

“Yeah,” Naruto stuttered slightly, grateful for a different topic of conversation.

 

_You bug him for details and get squeamish every time. Fucking useless._

Trying to ignore that thought, he pulled out his phone. “Let me just pull up the recipe real quick.”

 

And, quite typically, now that the Wi-Fi was restored his phone had perfect signal. Rolling his eyes, Naruto opened his browser again. The lyrics from the Opeth album, now finished, loaded up unprompted. Instead of deleting it, he made a new tab to look for the recipe: he figured if he had it on his phone it would remind him to look at it again.

 

_Or it’ll join the other twenty seven tabs that I still have to look at. One of the two._

As he pulled the ingredients out of the fridge, Sasuke’s phone started vibrating shrilly in his pocket. He flipped it open silently, but after a few seconds of listening his face betrayed his shock. It was corrected back to neutral in a second, but Naruto had caught it.

 

_Oh no._

 

“How long ago?” Was all Sasuke had to ask. He paused, listening to the response. “Meet me out front.”

 

The phone was shoved back into his pocket, and Sasuke was off down the hall. “I’m sorry Naruto, something’s come up.” He called over his shoulder. “A meeting I’d forgotten about.”

 

“A meeting?”

 

“Yeah.” Sasuke looked up as he shoved his foot into his boot, lacing it up aggressively. “Can’t blow it off. You get started on dinner, I won’t be long.”

 

In a second he had grabbed his coat and slipped out the door, the handle turning briefly as he checked it was locked. Naruto, his head spinning, paced up to the window to look down. Past the dizzying vertigo, he saw a car pulled up in front of the apartment building. A moment later he saw a figure making their way briskly across the incomplete lawn, the car accelerating away hard as they got in.

 

_He’s lying._

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

By the time the door clicked open and shut again, the ramen had been finished for a good half hour. Naruto had tried to keep it warm in the oven, on a low heat, but he suspected it wouldn’t be as good as it was fresh.

 

He was sitting on the couch, staring at the view in silence; the sky had just started to turn dusky, the last rays of sun fading over the skyline. Naruto had been sat there since he’d finished the cooking, mind racing but somehow still. As always, he felt conflicted by the anger he felt.

 

_I know why he does this. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it._

Naruto didn’t turn around instantly as he heard Sasuke walk in, waiting a few seconds before getting up. Scratching the back of his head, Naruto walked over to the kitchen, giving Sasuke the briefest of glances as he passed; all he caught was Sasuke’s back as he took off his shoes, every movement slow and deliberate as always. Neither of them said anything as Naruto searched for some oven gloves, before giving up and grabbing a tea towel.

 

“Smells good.” Sasuke was the first to break the silence.

 

Naruto gingerly placed the piping hot bowls on the hob, finally turning to properly look at his friend. There was something different about him, his gaze a thousand miles away as he wordlessly opened a new pack of cigarettes and collapsed onto the couch. Pulling over an ashtray, Sasuke absentmindedly loosened his tie, slumping forward with his elbows on his knees.

 

_At least he isn’t hurt again. But whatever just happened, it wasn’t good._

“So how did the meeting go?” Naruto asked, his tone icier than he intended. He internally winced, instantly worried that he sounded like a bitter housewife.

 

“About as well as expected.”

 

_Figured._

Naruto paused a few beats before quietly asking “How bad?”

 

Sasuke froze, head bowed, lighter halfway to his mouth. After a fraction of a second he resumed, the flame sparking and throwing the bruise-like circles under his eyes into sharp relief. They were closed as he took a deep draw from the cigarette, but soon snapped open with their usual intensity. He stared unblinkingly at Naruto from under his brow as he tossed the lighter on the table, those deep black eyes drilling into his skull.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Naruto groaned, throwing his hands up in frustration as he started pacing up and down. “You always do this, you run off for hours – or weeks – on end, then lie to my goddamn face about it! You know what that makes me think? That whatever you get up to, it’s gotta be bad. You told me you were getting out of this, but I guess it’s business as usual.” Naruto was breathing heavily now, still pacing, pointedly not looking at his friend. “I’m getting better at reading that mask you call a face, Sasuke. Either that or you’re slipping.”

 

A dense, heavy stillness fell between them, and for a gut-wrenching moment Naruto thought he’d finally gone too far. He slowly came to a halt, eyes glued to his feet.

 

Eventually, Sasuke’s voice pierced the silence. “You’re right,” he nodded, his voice low but amicable.  “I’m doing you a disservice by trying to hide things from you.”

 

“Y-yeah,” Naruto stuttered, not quite sure what to say to that. He finally managed to look up, surprised to see Sasuke looking a little embarrassed.

 

“I know it’s somewhat…” he paused awkwardly as he looked away, taking another drag. “It’s irrational, I guess, but part of me still wants to protect you from all this.”

 

_Great, that just makes me feel more guilty._

But, struggle to come to terms with it as he did, Naruto knew that he had to get Sasuke to open up about his work.

 

_This is the best way I can help him. I’ve got to believe that._

“It’s past that now: you didn’t want me involved, but now I’m involved; you didn’t want me in danger, and now we’ve both got targets on our backs.” Naruto softened his tone slightly. “We talked about this, there’s no point keeping me in the dark anymore.”

 

Sasuke nodded as he stubbed out his half-smoked cigarette slightly, careful to do just enough to stop it burning. Resting it on the glass edge of the ashtray he rose from the couch, hands weighing heavily on his thighs, and walked over to the kitchen. “Let’s not waste a good meal: we can talk over dinner.”

 

Naruto nodded, following his friend.  Part of him was relieved, of course, but if anything the knot in his stomach grew tighter.

 

_I’m scared of what he might tell me._

 

Sasuke sat down at the end of the glass table, Naruto choosing to place himself on his friend’s left, facing the beautiful sunset. The earlier rain had petered out, the clouds clearing and treating the city to a warm orange glow. It spread across one side of Sasuke’s solemn face, as if he were awash in soft fire.

 

Sasuke skilfully gathered up some noodles, chopsticks held confidently between his elegant fingers. He chewed slowly for several seconds before smiling slightly. “This is good.”

 

Naruto nodded in acknowledgement of the compliment, his own mouth full. For a while they ate wordlessly, every slightest noise seeming to be amplified by the heavy silence surrounding it. Naruto searched for something to say, anything to fill the void between them, before he caught himself.

 

_Wait for him to speak._

As if on cue, Sasuke neatly rested the chopsticks on the edge of his bowl and leaned forward slightly. “One of my men was killed.” He said bluntly, his eyes seeming to regain their usual keen edge. “I met with his widow to discuss arrangements.”

 

Naruto’s brain seemed to stick as he mentally changed gears: the matter-of-fact way Sasuke spoke, not even a flicker of emotion in his eyes… it threw Naruto for longer than he would have liked.

 

_Keep going. You can do this._

“Arrangements?” Naruto asked quietly after a pause.

 

“Our organisation will continue to support her financially, for the rest of her life. I set up the relevant payments. Assured her that justice would be served. I like to… see to it myself.” Sasuke looked down at his food, mouth a hard grim line as he picked up his chopsticks again. “Least I can do.”

 

“Ah. Right.” Naruto searched his brain desperately for anything else to say, but there was nothing. His heart pounded in his chest, the weight of what he’d just learned relentlessly pressing down on him.

 

_There aren’t any words. This guy had a life, a family… and now he’s dead. Just like that. At least Sasuke can do that much for his wife. It’s like he feels responsible._

_Does that make him responsible?_

There was nothing Naruto could do but resume his meal. But he’d suddenly lost his appetite, until he found himself forcing the last of it down. He just wanted it to be over.

 

Sasuke took their dishes over to the sink, taking a second to rinse them out before stacking them in the dishwasher. He uncorked the Auchentoshan, pausing as he retrieved the glasses. “Want one?”

 

He was sorely tempted, but for some reason Naruto didn’t feel like it. “I’m okay, thanks.”

 

Sasuke shrugged and poured himself a generous few fingers, padding over to the couch to finish his smoke. He pulled his phone out, flipping it open to check. Briefly tapping out a response of some kind, cigarette held between his knuckles as he used both thumbs to type, Sasuke closed the phone over again.

 

He was about to put it back in his pocket, but Naruto saw him reconsider and place it gently on the table instead.

 

As Naruto transferred the pans from the hob to the dishwasher and set it running – another luxury he felt he could get used to – he kept a close eye on his friend. He was leaning back on the couch, staring at the ceiling with one arm over the back and the ashtray in his lap. And that vacant stare was back.

 

_Once again I have no idea what’s going on in his head. How can you relate to something like that?_

The phone buzzed harshly against the table as Naruto joined Sasuke, grunting slightly as he lowered himself into the other sofa. Taking one last, long drag, Sasuke wordlessly ground the orange filter into the ashtray until the thin wisp of smoke died out. Flipping open the phone once more he stared intently at the screen, his gaze almost boring a hole through it.

 

Naruto tried to think of something to say. Anything to say. The air was thick and still between the two men, punctuated only by the sharp jolt of the mobile vibrating. This back-and-forth continued for a while, until Sasuke snapped the phone shut and dropped it back into his pocket. Tapping another cigarette out of the black carton he swiftly lit up once more, leaning back into the sofa.

 

_He smokes more when he’s stressed._

_Great observation, Captain Obvious._

 

“I can’t imagine how frustrating this must be for you, Naruto.” Sasuke’s low voice interrupted the sterile air. He didn’t look at Naruto but straight ahead, out the window.

 

_There’s that look again. It’s like he’s dropping in and out, like something keeps focusing him._

Naruto sighed, not sure how to explain his feelings. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s super frustrating. And not just the things you don’t tell me.”

 

Sasuke nodded, still avoiding Naruto’s eyes. “You worry about the things I do. You’ve no idea if you want to know or not.”

 

“Yeah, that’s…” Naruto fidgeted with his hands, glancing down for a second. Sasuke’s uncanny ability to word his thoughts was sometimes rather disquieting. “That’s a good way of putting it.”

 

When he looked up again, those sharp black eyes were locked on his. “Look, Naruto. I know you’re going to worry about me. About the things I do. But you need to trust me: we’re getting through this. And when it’s over, if you like…” Sasuke faltered for a second, taking a quick drag from the cigarette. “If you like, you can have nothing more to do with me.”

 

Naruto was stunned for a moment. “I… what?”

 

Sasuke jaw was set hard. “Nothing I haven’t said before,” he muttered, his tone clipped.

 

“What do you mean by that?” Naruto asked loudly, not able to help but raise his voice. He could feel himself doing it, his defences rising, and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

“How many times do I have to say it?” Sasuke’s voice was deadly quiet, but somehow still cut the air like a scythe. “Being here, with me, it’s dangerous. This isn’t your problem. You shouldn’t be involved.”

 

Sasuke’s words cut him deep. Naruto could feel his pulse through his ears, his heart pumping fast and hard. “And how many times do _I_ have to say it? I’m not going anywhere!” Before Naruto knew it, he was on his feet and shouting. “You’re supposed to be my friend, Sasuke. That means your problems are my problems, and I don’t care how guilty you feel about it!”

 

“That’s a lie.” Sasuke said heavily, sitting back and closing his eyes. “One part, at least. ‘I don’t care.’”

 

That stopped Naruto in his tracks, breathing hard with fists clenched. The anger, the defences, they seemed to fade away like the thin trails of smoke currently curling from Sasuke’s hand.

 

_I always do this. Run my mouth and ignore what I’m hearing._

_Sasuke said that ‘cause he cares too. You should know that._

Naruto slumped back onto the couch, running a hand through his tangled hair. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” He paused, trying to get his thoughts in order. “Just, whenever you say that sort of stuff I… I panic. And then I go off on one. You’re damn right that I care.”

 

“You shouldn’t.” Sasuke replied softly, eyes still closed.

 

“I should. You’re worth it.”

 

Sasuke chuckled slightly, and when his eyes reopened there was fire in them. “Thanks, Naruto.”

 

“And I’ll keep saying it ‘til you believe me.” Naruto smiled wryly, pushing himself off the couch once more. “Now, I think I’ll reconsider that drink-”

 

Naruto was cut off by a loud ringing, and it took him a moment to realise it was his phone. Fishing it out of his shorts, he peered curiously at the screen: it wasn’t a number he recognised, but it was a local area code.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi, yes, is this Mr Naruto… Uzumaki?” The woman on the other end of the phone stumbled slightly on his surname, but he’d heard worse attempts.

 

“Yes, speaking.” He thought he recognised the voice from somewhere, but failed at dredging up anything more concrete than a general feeling.

 

“I’m calling from the Royal Infirmary…”

 

_The hospital? What?_

“…and I’m afraid I have some rather difficult news. We have a young man in intensive care, name of Sai? Didn’t get a second name. He listed you as his emergency contact number.”

 

Naruto’s heart plummeted into his stomach, his voice cracking as he rushed to respond. “Sai? What happened? Is he okay?”

 

“I’m sorry, I really can’t go into detail over the phone. Would you be able to make your way to us? As quickly as possible.”

 

Sasuke looked over from the couch, brow furrowed in concern. Naruto could offer him nothing but a panicked look. “Y-yeah, I can try… thank you.”

 

Sasuke rose as Naruto hung up, holding the phone up to his mouth. His hand was trembling slightly, rattling the case against his chin. It was like he’d forgotten how to breathe.

 

_Sai… what happened? Why would he want them to call me instead of Ino? Unless…_

_I have to get there. Now._

“Naruto? Are you okay?”

The pit in his stomach seemed like a stone or a lead weight as he nodded, then changed his mind and shook his head. “It’s Sai. He’s in the hospital. I have to go.”

 

“Naruto,” Sasuke started, a warning in his voice. “You’ll be exposed out there.”

 

“I can’t just sit here!”

 

“What do you think you could do for him now?” Sasuke asked, not unfairly. “He’s safe where he is. But you won’t be.”

 

Naruto stalked through to the hall, roughly jamming his feet in his trainers. Not bothering to tie the laces, he made for the door.

 

But Sasuke stopped him, one hand resting gently on the door. “Naruto, please, think about this for a second-”

 

“Look, you don’t understand. I think…” Naruto had to choke the words out; saying it aloud seemed to make it more real. “I think he might have hurt himself.”

 

Sasuke didn’t have anything to say to that.

 

“If he has, I- I need to be there.” Naruto continued, desperately. “I need to help him.”

 

Sasuke sighed, looking away as he took his hand off the door. “Fuck,” he spat viciously, striding back into the lounge. “Wait one minute.”

 

He reappeared with his mobile pressed to his ear. “Jūgo. I need to you to drive Naruto to the Royal Infirmary. No questions. Be out front as soon as possible.”

 

Naruto nodded his thanks, kneeling down to tie his shoes. His hands were unable to properly hold the laces, panic still gripping his mind, and it took him several attempts.

 

Sasuke’s phone buzzed again. “He’s outside.”

 

Sasuke, still barefoot, followed him out the door and into the elevator. After half a minute of terse silence the lift slid smoothly to a stop, the doors parting altogether too slowly for Naruto’s liking.

 

He made to leave, eyes on the nondescript black car pulled up at the curb, but Sasuke grabbed his arm. “Naruto…” For a split second, Sasuke looked different; he looked uncertain. But before he could react, the old mask was back in place. “Good luck.”

 

Naruto nodded, practically jogging to the black, angular sedan. Jūgo shifted into gear as soon as the door had slammed shut, leaving Naruto fumbling with his seatbelt as the sudden acceleration pushed him back into his seat. His driver said nothing, eyes fixed on the road.

 

Naruto breathed deep and settled awkwardly back into his seat. Part of him was worried about Sasuke, back in the elevator. He didn’t see that kind of expression from his friend often, and if he was honest, it scared him.

 

But this seemed petty compared to the dark cloud that overshadowed it. Sai. It was like every nerve of his body had been ignited, his muscles coiling into hard knots every few seconds. He pulled up Ino’s name on his phone, thumb hovering over the call button.

 

_I don’t know what I’m gonna find there. What if there’s a reason Sai wanted me?_

Naruto hesitated for a moment more before sighing and dropping the mobile in his lap. It seemed wrong, dishonest somehow, not to tell Ino that her boyfriend was hurt. Badly hurt.

 

_But I don’t have a choice._

Jūgo drove on silently. And as much as he didn’t like it, Naruto knew there was nothing more he could do for now.

 

(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Naruto fidgeted anxiously, finger tapping rapidly against the door. It had been almost hour since they’d set out, and he was starting to recognise landmarks again; since Naruto didn’t drive, the winding side streets had soon disoriented him. It had felt like eternity so far, his mind torturing him with all sorts of disturbing ideas about Sai’s condition. It didn’t help that Jūgo had slowed after the first few minutes of reckless speed. If anything, he was staying well under the speed limit.

 

When Naruto had asked him about it – well, more yelled than asked – Jūgo grunted, grudging a few brief words. “We had to get away quickly, in case anyone was following. Now we have to blend in.”

 

Those were the only words Naruto had been able to get out of him.

 

He had since been alone with his thoughts, running in the same chaotic circles, overlapping and frantic. As they approached the hospital it started up again, just like clockwork.

 

_It might have been an accident-_

_It wasn’t. Or else they would have told you over the phone._

_I should have seen this, I should have spent more time with him-_

_Yeah, and you know why you didn’t: he creeped you the fuck out._

Jūgo slid the car smoothly into a parking space, and Naruto almost leapt out the door. He rushed across the car park, making it halfway across before he realised Jūgo was following him, his long legs enabling him to easily keep pace.

 

Bursting through the door, he joined the queue for main reception. Jūgo followed suit, unhurried now that they were inside, planting himself near Naruto. The wait was murder on Naruto’s frayed nerves, and he spent the entire time chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek.

 

Eventually it was his turn. “Hey- looking for a patient, the doctor told me to come here.” Naruto stuttered slightly, his words tripping over each other. “His name is Sai, S-A-I.”

 

The receptionist, an older lady, pushed the glasses up her nose slightly. “Surname?”

 

“Umm…” Naruto wracked his brain, realising he didn’t actually know. It took him a second to remember what the girl on the phone had said. “They didn’t get one.”

 

The receptionist nodded, clicking a few keys on her keyboard before frowning. “Sorry, there’s nothing coming up.”

 

“What?”

 

“He’s not in the system.” She took her glasses off, letting them hang from a chain around her neck. “That means he isn’t here.”

 

“This is Intensive Care, right?” Naruto asked, confused. He was sure he’d got the right building. “She told me he was here.”

 

“I can check the other departments, they might have moved him since you were called.” A few adjustments with the mouse, but her expression didn’t change. “No, no-one with that name has been admitted today. Or in the last week. Did you get the name of who called?”

 

“No, I didn’t.”

 

“Or their position?”

 

“No, I… I don’t think so.” Naruto’s head seemed to be spinning. “Where is he then?”

 

The lady’s face softened slightly. “I’m sorry honey, the only thing I know is that he isn’t here.”

 

“You should call him.” Jūgo suggested, breaking his silence once more.

 

“But if he’s-”

 

“You should call him.” Jūgo repeated, interrupting Naruto and staring at him meaningfully.

 

Naruto decided that he should call Sai.

 

The line rung out for a few seconds before it was answered. “Yes?”

 

“Sai?” Naruto was surprised to hear his voice, but the vice grip of pressure eased off his stomach nonetheless. He slowly wandered out of the queue, towards the lobby. “I’m at the hospital, where are you?”

 

“The hospital?” Sai asked quizzically. “Have you managed to hurt yourself?”

 

“What? No, I-” Naruto stopped, the oddest feeling creeping through him, his breath catching. “You’re not at the hospital? You’re okay?”

 

Sai still sounded confused, but he patiently answered. “No, I’m not at the hospital. I’m fine. Has something happened?”

 

“No. No, sorry. I must have misunderstood something.” A different type of panic seemed to rise from his feet, slowly flooding his whole body. Dread. “Sorry for bugging you, don’t worry about it. I gotta go.”

 

Naruto heard Sai start to reply as he hung up. His eyes snapped to Jūgo. “Someone wanted me here. We have to go.”

 

Jūgo nodded and made to leave, scanning the rows of parked cars as they exited the building. He must not have seen anything suspicious, as they reached the car and left with no trouble. Jūgo paused only long enough to lock the doors from the inside before starting the engine.

 

“We have to call Sasuke.” Naruto said, more for his benefit than Jūgo’s; he expected the man to already be dialling, but his hands remained locked to the wheel. “Jūgo, we have to call Sasuke.”

 

“We can’t.” Jūgo kept his eyes dead ahead, his voice monotone.

 

“What? Why not?” Naruto couldn’t even begin to see the logic of this.

 

“We can’t.” He repeated simply.

 

Naruto was insistent, and not backing down. “Come on, he needs to know about this.”

 

Jūgo sighed, but said nothing.

 

“Well if you won’t…” Naruto started, unlocking his phone, before it was snatched roughly from his grasp. “Hey! What the hell?”

 

Jūgo placed it carefully in his suit jacket, briefly glancing over at Naruto. “I’m sorry, I can’t let you.”

 

Something about this felt very wrong to Naruto. “Tell me why.” He spoke with a confidence he didn’t feel.

 

Jūgo changed gear with a quick, jagged motion. “Boss’s orders.”

 

Naruto frowned, but said nothing.

 

_That doesn’t sound right._

In fact, the more he thought about it, the more doubt he had. He’d been there when Sasuke made the call to Jūgo, and there was no mention of this. And Jūgo had been with Naruto the entire time since then, so there was no way he could have received additional instructions.

 

_What if it’s him? What if he’s working for Deidara?_

Naruto knew nothing about the man sitting next to him, save for what Sasuke had told him about his father. He suddenly felt very unsafe, locked in the car with this imposing man. A second of blind panic seized him, the insane urge to hurl himself from a moving vehicle, before being shunted aside by reason.

 

_Don’t panic. He doesn’t think I suspect. Let’s keep it like that._

So he tried to slow his breathing, turning to face the window. It was getting dark, a much more sudden occurrence in these early Winter months, and it played to his advantage: he could see Jūgo reflected in the glass, able to keep a close eye on him without appearing to.

 

Well over an hour later, Naruto’s suspicions hadn’t been alleviated any. It hadn’t taken them nearly as long to get to the hospital, and he still didn’t recognise the area they were in. Of course, it could have been considerably longer; the dashboard clock was un-programmed, flashing 00:00, and he didn’t have his phone.

 

He’d reached for the radio a few minutes earlier, but that had been denied to him as well. Jūgo hadn’t offered any explanation either, ignoring his questions and driving on. It was getting late, the streetlights providing the majority of illumination now as they turned onto a row of expensive houses.

 

_If anything I think we’re moving away from Sasuke’s. Dammit, I’d give my left bollock to get my hands on Google Maps right now. At this point I’d take a fucking ordinance survey map._

_Never mind that, what am I gonna do?_

As the hedgerows gave way to shops and restaurants Naruto realised he knew the area. He was sure he recognised that Pizza Hut, the clothing chain opposite, and when they rounded the corner it was confirmed by a neat little park. Which meant…

 

_We’re going in circles. Jūgo’s driving me around, keeping me away from the flat._

_But on whose orders?_

But that gave Naruto something: a glimpse into what was happening. And whatever it was, it was centred around Sasuke’s flat. A plan slowly formed, slapdash and not altogether very smart, but it was better than nothing. After all, it might not be Sasuke organising his tour of the city. He couldn’t take that chance.

 

_He’ll have to stop at some point for fuel. If I really book it I’ll be able to hop on a bus before he can catch me._

He surreptitiously glanced at Jūgo again, sizing him up. Naruto wouldn’t want to take him in a straight fight – and that wasn’t something he said of many people – but he reckoned he was quicker on his feet.

 

_So the plan is to leg it. Sophisticated, Naruto._

He jumped slightly when a flat ringtone started up, Jūgo quickly pressing the phone to his ear. “Uh huh.”

 

In the enclosed space of the car, Naruto could hear Suigetsu quite clearly on the other end. Jūgo cut him off a few words in, telling him to wait a second, before pulling over to the side of the road and getting out. He exchanged a few words with Suigetsu, a hard look to his eyes as he hung up. Naruto didn’t have a chance to react, and before he knew it they were merging into traffic again.

 

_That could have been my chance. If it had been Sasuke on the phone…_

Naruto didn’t trust Suigetsu either, certainly less than he trusted Jūgo. “What’s the word?” He asked, trying to sound casual.

 

Jūgo’s mouth twisted slightly as he chose his words, not immediately answering. “Look, Naruto, I wanna be straight with you about this. I really do. But I’ve been told to keep you in the dark.”

 

Naruto got the strangest feeling he was being genuine. But he couldn’t go on his gut alone. “Something’s happening at the flat, isn’t it? That’s why we’re driving in circles.”

 

Jūgo shook his head. “I can’t say anything else.”

 

“Can I at least have my phone back?”

 

Another shake of his head as he turned the wheel, smoothly pulling into a petrol station. It took Naruto a second to remember his plan, jumping slightly as he realised and hitting his hand on the centre console. Jūgo gave him a questioning look, but said nothing. Removing the keys from the ignition Jūgo stepped out the car, looking back as if in afterthought, and locked the doors.

 

_Oh for fuck’s sake._

Naruto hated to admit it as he sulkily watched Jūgo fill the car, but part of him was relieved he hadn’t been able to make his bid for freedom. If he’d been caught… Naruto didn’t want to go through the possibilities.

 

Now the engine was off, Naruto could hear faint conversation. He hadn’t seen anyone on the forecourt. And a second glance confirmed it. He puzzled over it for a second before noticing the radio frequency lit up on the console.

 

_Must have accidentally hit it earlier. Oh well, while I’ve got it…_

 

He leaned in to turn the volume up, the channel set at a news broadcast. Almost dismissing it, Naruto reached for the dial. Until he processed what was being said.

 

“... main story tonight is the explosion that gutted an apartment complex in the South side of the city only a few hours ago. The building in question was not open to the public at the time, and the source of the blast has not yet been confirmed. Police have reported a single fatality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys.
> 
> I have done stupid amounts of work on this chapter. I had to research a fair few topics, organise timelines and plan everything out from both Naruto and Sasuke's perspectives - a lot of stuff I had to write won't even be relevant for a while, but everything had to fit together perfectly. No plot holes. Hopefully.
> 
> Again, I'm sorry at how long this took. With any luck, the next few chapters won't need this level of scrutiny, and I can fire them out a bit faster. And thanks again for the awesome support from you lovely people, all the comments and analysis makes me so so happy ^_^ Special mentions to my beta reader, a mythical unicorn that's probably fucking sick of my stubbornness.
> 
> I wanna hear all your theories about what happened in Sasuke's flat, so fire up your typing fingers :D As always, criticism is highly appreciated


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